Today's Blind Items - Why Can't We Film Her Crotch?

This was the question the famed writer/director put to the producer the day he filmed the one literally under the table scene. The answer was basically the same he got in a slightly earlier production, when he wanted the girl’s screen father to return this one thing to her. 

Maybe none of this is surprising. After all the daddy’s girl jokes were kind of persistent for a while with him.

What most people to this day don’t know though is that he was extremely fond of this one drug - the one favored by high earning professionals in the not Second City during that same decade. He did lots and lots of it, including on set, which sometimes made him delusion, and prone to gross ideas. Why do you think he was legendary for starting and finishing scripts over a long weekend? Why do you think he gained all that weight when he stopped? Sadly, he'd probably have lived longer if he'd never started.

Maybe you guessed it, but there is in fact more to that story - and all of it involves the one production.

For one thing, young people of a certain age are known to be both easily bored and kind of listless sometimes. It’s doubly so for young actors of a certain age who are working and going to school full time.

That is why the director took this one young actor aside - to the dressing room, in fact - and made him do large amounts of his favored drug. Or, at least that was the official reason. The real reason is the usual one: because he could. Needless to say, the young actor’s screen character would probably never have done this.

What’s more?

When the director was told he couldn’t film the one thing, an assistant was sent…to the high schools…to find a suitable substitute. Not wanting to end up in jail, he went to the local junior college instead, and found a barely legal girl.

I’m told the young woman wasn’t paid for her work, except in the director’s favored drug, and…an encounter with one of the actors. This is the one known for his character’s extracurricular pursuits (I mean I guess they all were - the booze, the drugs, the mall, the math problems - but it wasn’t any of those: his screen self probably wasn’t going to college without it). 

You know what else? When the actor was leaving to meet up with her, the director handed him a camcorder and said: you know what to do with it.

But he didn’t, in fact, do that. Instead, he cut the tape with a knife before the two had even undressed. That was all the director got to see: two young adults…talking.