This star has faded somewhat. His career spanned decades -- TV, films, nightclubs mostly. He has sung in the past but is not really remembered as a serious recording artist.
Along with his famous A+ friends, he used to take to the stage and entertain people. He was an internationally famous star. So a charitable organization in Toronto decided it would ask this comedian to perform on stage to raise money for a charity.
The multi-talented star demanded $50,000 for one night, and the charity agreed. A date was set. Tickets sold out in no time. A chauffeur, was hired to go to the airport and pick up the living legend, and so he did.
Now, it was well known that this living legend had a long-time battle with alcoholism, and on this night, alcohol seemed to be winning. The chauffeur arrived at the airport in plenty of time and drove to the gate where he was told to go.
He parked, and waited in the driver's seat, just as he was supposed to.
The private jet pulled in to where the limousine was waiting. The jet's door opened.
Time passed.
No one came out of the jet.
More minutes passed. The driver double-checked. Was he at the right gate? Should he stand outside the limousine? Maybe he should've made a sign -- after all, perhaps another celebrity was arriving, and he'd gone to the wrong place to pick him up.
More time passed. People went into the jet, and they came out flustered, panicky even. But the star did not emerge.
On the tarmac, there was increasing agitation. The concert was scheduled for eight o'clock pm, and it was now past dinnertime. Some important-looking airport personnel were scurrying back and forth, going in and out of the plane.
The star had not emerged.
Maybe he was sick... or worse.
THEN ANOTHER LIMO pulled into the area and parked right alongside the other limo. And to his "shock and awe," two mob guys emerged and stormed into the plane.
By now, the driver was chilled to the bone and just wanted to get out of there with his passenger and none of the mob guys.
More mom guys emerged from the neighboring limo. The ones from the plane met the new arrivals on the tarmac. nstead of all getting into their limo, they got into the one driven by the scared driver.
"He's drunker than f---," said one.
"Drunk? That don't even BEGIN to describe it. He's three sheets to the f--king wind," said another.
This went on for a minute or two, and then the senior mob guy said,
"I don' care who this (BLEEP) is, I don't care where he comes from. But we paid this (-------) fifty f--king grand to come down here and perform, and if he isn't there on time, he ain't goin' home."
"Take him outta the plane and go to the hotel. Try and sober him up. He'd better put on a show."
Finally -- this was after seven pm, a couple of mob guys carried the A+lister out of the plane and dumped him in the limo and joined the A+ lister in the limo.
Not only did the star sober up, he actually "snapped out of it" and proceeded to give that audience the best three-hour show of their lives. He was funny. He sang songs. He told stories and chatted with the audience members. They loved it. The charity event raised a lot of money for their sick kids and everyone was happy.
Jerry Lewis
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