The picture above is from several years ago at Barney's. Here is how it came to be. The story involves me and this B+ list actress who all of you know from an iconic pay cable show. It starts off at the restaurant in the store which was on the top floor.
Me - Look at Jon Voight over there
Actress - Why is he always with blonde Russians.
Me - And they barely speak English, but always calls them his niece.
Actress - It is like he is living a real life version of Salt.
Me - You should get a role like that.
Actress - I get good roles.
Me - You get nice paychecks. I did the contract for your last movie remember, and that is a role no one will ever see.
Actress - How can he call them his niece, after he sucks face with them at the table.
Me - He always sits inside, rather than outside, so more people will see him.
Actress - Is that Scott Disick?
Me - Yep.
Actress - Well, at least he takes his kid to lunch. And, bonus, he doesn't look drunk.
Me - There goes Larry King.
Actress - He really does look like Mr. Burns. He hit on me last year.
Me - Really?
Actress - Yeah, but even if I was dead broke and he was the richest guy on the planet, it wouldn't happen.
Later downstairs
Me - Larry again.
Actress - His wife is spending a fortune today.
Me - She is the one having sex with him. Oh, and her sister too.
Actress - Really?
Me - Yeah. I don't think all three at the same time though.
Actress - I kind of want a picture with him.
Me - Ask him
After the picture
Actress - He definitely got a handful of ass.
Me - I will take one of him by himself and you can print it and throw darts at it.
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