Zero. I could never be arsed to write it and it would boring, boring, boring followed by more boring. Any juicy family stuff, particularly previous generations, would be red lined by the matriarch.
Maybe 4 chapters. The longest one would probably be And Then I Spent 14 Years Working at a Place Where People Think They are Really Important. The best chapter would be about life with my husband. The last chapter would be If You are Reading This Then I am Dead. It would be pretty short. "I died. The End."
"A Dance to the Music of Time" by Anthony Powell (an English guy with lots of friends in the entertainment world of England circa 1930-1960) is 12 volumes long, each volume has somewhere between 20 and 30 scenes, in which the writer figures as an important character in about half of the scenes, and as an incidental character in the other half. So that would be - if we consider "a scene" to be the equivalent of a chapter - at most 15 times 12 chapters in which the writer was basically writing autobiography, or 180 chapters.
"Remembrance of Things Past" by Marcel Proust (a French guy with lost of friends in the entertainment world of France circa 1895-1925) is about twice as long as "A Dance to the Music of Time", with about the same proportion of real autobiographical chapters and chapters where the writer is an incidental character, so that would be 360 chapters.
I have spent almost no time in the entertainment world, which means it would take me longer to explain my life and the life of my friends because me and my friends were not in the business of expressing ourselves, so I would have to go into a lot more explanation about my friends, so I guess my autobiography - or the autobiography of anyone like me - would have to be more than 360 chapters long. And trust me I am not all that interesting of a person (God thinks I am interesting but THAT BEING SAID God thinks almost everyone is interesting).
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ReplyDeleteKind of depends on how long you make the chapters, right?
ReplyDeleteNone. I'm sure as hell not going to write one.
ReplyDeleteI bet one of Bernie's chapters would be that shit show debate CBS ran last night.
ReplyDelete10-13
ReplyDeleteAbout 200 pages, five chapters.
ReplyDeleteI agree Brayson!!! 👍🏼Oprah’s girl couldn’t even control the stage with that one minute thing Response thing 😂😂
ReplyDeleteAnyway I’d love my life story to be a miniseries on Fox produced and conceived by Ryan Murphy .😃
ReplyDelete108
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ReplyDeleteNope everything goes with me to the grave!
ReplyDeleteNone because I ain't writing one.
ReplyDeleteZero. I could never be arsed to write it and it would boring, boring, boring followed by more boring. Any juicy family stuff, particularly previous generations, would be red lined by the matriarch.
ReplyDelete11.
ReplyDelete6
ReplyDelete69, of course.
ReplyDeleteVery short chapters, but still.
Maybe 4 chapters. The longest one would probably be And Then I Spent 14 Years Working at a Place Where People Think They are Really Important. The best chapter would be about life with my husband. The last chapter would be If You are Reading This Then I am Dead. It would be pretty short. "I died. The End."
ReplyDelete10 chapters
ReplyDeleteMaybe 1
ReplyDeleteOne long ass chapter
ReplyDeleteNone
ReplyDelete"A Dance to the Music of Time" by Anthony Powell (an English guy with lots of friends in the entertainment world of England circa 1930-1960) is 12 volumes long, each volume has somewhere between 20 and 30 scenes, in which the writer figures as an important character in about half of the scenes, and as an incidental character in the other half. So that would be - if we consider "a scene" to be the equivalent of a chapter - at most 15 times 12 chapters in which the writer was basically writing autobiography, or 180 chapters.
ReplyDelete"Remembrance of Things Past" by Marcel Proust (a French guy with lost of friends in the entertainment world of France circa 1895-1925) is about twice as long as "A Dance to the Music of Time", with about the same proportion of real autobiographical chapters and chapters where the writer is an incidental character, so that would be 360 chapters.
I have spent almost no time in the entertainment world, which means it would take me longer to explain my life and the life of my friends because me and my friends were not in the business of expressing ourselves, so I would have to go into a lot more explanation about my friends, so I guess my autobiography - or the autobiography of anyone like me - would have to be more than 360 chapters long. And trust me I am not all that interesting of a person (God thinks I am interesting but THAT BEING SAID God thinks almost everyone is interesting).
I just want my headstone to say, "Her attitude was as big as her ass."
ReplyDeleteAbout two chapters because I can't remember shit.
ReplyDeleteFifty two.. Short chapters for each year of my miserable but amusing life. :)
ReplyDeleteI think I'd need two or three books.
ReplyDeleteWell, are we doing one chapter for each year, or one for each adventure? In any case, there would be quite a lot of them.
ReplyDeleteDepends upon how long I live.
ReplyDelete