My grandfather died when I was 5, and while I don't remember the funeral, I remember the drunken Irish fest that went on for 3 days afterwards at my parent's house.
I was lucky - I was 21. My Grandfather's funeral. Strangest thing is I actually dreamt of it about 6 months before it happened. My brother was on one side of me and someone else was on my other side, but I couldn't see who it was. When we were in the funeral home, my brother was on one side and no one was on the other.
Age was 5 for maternal grandfather I adored. Creepy factor this was back when the dead were kept at home. I can't walk into that house without seeing my grandfather's casket in the living room. I was way too young to have been put into that situation.
14. It was my granny and she died on my parent's wedding anniversary. And because we are Irish we had her body in our house for her 3 day wake - I refused to sleep in the house or even go in to where her coffin was. Saw her in her death bed and that was enough for me. Granda died two months after, even though we hadn't told him about her passing (he was deaf and blind and in a different part of the residents home they were in). Again, he was back at ours for 3 days and this time I coped better and saw him in his coffin more than once.
My dad's wake last year was a piece of piss compared to theirs!
13. It was for the husband of my mother's co-worker. It was my first time seeing a dead body (open casket at Ukranian Orthodox Church) and he looked green.
fyi: he looked green for one of two reasons: 1) he wasn't embalmed or 2) he had liver disease and was jaundice at death. Jaundiced bodies do not like embalming fluids, and will sometimes have a reaction that turns the deceased green or blur or purple. There are special fluids for these cases, but it will still happen.
I remember going to my grandmothers funeral the day after a Grand Funk Railroad concert. Black Oak Arkansas opened. I was still too deafened to hear the service. Probably still buzzed too.
Unwillingly 2yo it was my granddad's next year it was my uncle's since thence I've never been to any funeral , I even hate to go to them. 2 years ago my maternal grandpa died but I haven't gone... 2 years ago my uncl
Everyone here can comment and say whatever they want , I even saw someone bad mouthing another commenter in another blind , so are some others in many other blinds , yet! my "innocent" comment needs approval here , so strange and I never said something disrespectful!!
First one I remember was when I was around seven, but I’d been to funerals before that, including a burial at sea. I’m sorry for all the loss you have had experienced, some at such young and formative ages.
I am always interested to see the different types of funeral traditions in each country and for each religion. For Church of England and Church of Scotland, we generally don’t have viewings or open caskets, certainly not as shown in American TV. Our coffins are shaped with narrow ends widening to the shoulders and then tapering down to the feet. The service is at a church or similar where the coffin in brought in and we then follow it and take a pew. If it is a burial, close family and friends go to the place if internment and stand around the grave or family tomb while the vicar/significant person conducts a short graveside service, then we go back to the deceased or close family member’s home for the wake which generally includes considerable alcohol plus canapé type food. Some services are done at chapels (any denomination or none) at the crematorium or cemetery or completely outside.
I’ve also been to Tangis (Māori funerals) at a Marae (Wikipedia is your friend for the explanations of Māori terms). There are many rituals including this body being welcomed into the Marae to lie in state, mourning for several days, closing of the coffin ritual, the graveside service, washing of hands before leaving the burial site, a long meal after the burial, house cleaning, not leaving the bereaved alone for the next week or so, unveiling the headstone a year later, etc. It really comes from the heart. I’m not from a Māori tribe so I may have missed some finer details. Even though they are half a world apart, there are similarities between a Māori and Irish funeral.
I can't remember specifically, but I was probably pretty young. I grew up in a rural community, and there were lots and lots of older people and everybody saw everybody else all the time so I'm sure I was about 4 or 5.
@laabid It's nothing personal. We had a crazy person or persons around here for a while so Enty is being extra cautious. Don't worry, he ALWAYS gets lazy eventually.
Thank you! I was wondering since it seemed like other people's comments get posted simultaneously and I had to wait more than an hour to see mine published that's why I complained about that
Empathy and sympathy for those who have shared before. My last living grandma died when I was 12months. I don't remember her funeral. tl:dr - when I was 5/6 years old, my mother took me with her on visits to a woman who was very sick. While mom was fooling with her stomach tube this woman looked at me with eyes that will haunt me forever. Suffering, endurance. No smile for a child. I can now meet anyone's gaze after meeting hers. Anyway, she eventually passed and we went to her funeral. At which we supposed to kneel by the coffin. No way. Surprisingly, mom honored my refusal.
EM and Im' ....Thanks for sharing your customs! I googled Marae which is Polynesian and Australian customs from which I gathered. Interesting. As as well as the Irish customs.
I am from the American South and viewings (which I hate and still creeps me out though I should state my cousin I mentioned above was not an open casket). Here one usually wears your Sunday best aka Suit and tie....family and close friends/ acquaintances go to open casket viewing the night before funeral. Then, the following day go to funeral service and again, those closest go to a graveside ceremony. We leave before any form of burial takes place. The burial is usually done in a couple hours but under no circumstances is the family suppose to see the actual lowering of the casket. It is so interesting too how different parts of the US do funerals differently.
my best friend died when i was 16, they played a slideshow at the funeral to the arms of the angels... it was so sad and most of the pictures were her and i and thats where i had my first panic attack... i wrote her a goodbye note and put it in her casket, i was supposed to ride with hero a party and in the last instant i changed my mind (my mom thought i was at ambers house and i didn't want to get caught up in a lie and grounded from my car) so i left and went to ambers, next thing i know I'm told she has died ... flipped the vehicle and flew out died on impact!!t trust your gut! if you have a bad feeling in a situation leave!!
I was only 4 or 5. My little friend's father died. He had some kind of brain surgery but that is really all I remember. I still remember to this day how dark the room where they had the body looked. My Mom walked up the aisle with me and the man was laid out. It really scared me to death because he was kinda yellow and waxy. I was way to young to see that dead body because I have had trouble going to any funerals ever since. .I refuse to look at dead bodies even today.
12. My friend died in a hotel fire -- it was arson. She was with her grandmother, aunt, and baby cousin on vacation, all died. We had just at the end of the school year had training -- with her a volunteer demonstrator participant -- on what to do in fires.
It has only become more devastating as years go on, for different reasons. For example, now, I remember her mother -- who had to work and was not on this trip -- went into shock and was hospitalized for quite a while. As an adult here's how I understand it now: Her mother in that awful night lost: Her mother, her daughter, her sister, and her newborn nephew. Aspects of the arson that I understand fully only now that I am older are also overwhelming and awful to think about.
I am saddened reading of the deaths, especially suicides. Some so young too.
@TeeHee yes, It is in that part of the world , actually New Zealand to be exact. Your funerals are very different. In the UK and when I was in NZ too we saw the lowering of the casket, that’s important to us. Then family members take turns to scatter a little soil on top while the “Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust” part is recited once the coffin is lowered. It’s often followed by people dropping single flowers on the coffin as they say goodbye. Public viewings of an open coffin are uncommon, and bodies are not usually embalmed. Just in cold storage for a few days then taken by the undertaker to the service for the funeral. Even state funerals like those for royalty or notable people are closed coffins, often with a flag draped over them. If sometimes lies in state they will be embalmed. It’s seen as a bit crass to have ostentatious coffins. They are supposed to be very simple. The last funeral I went to was a Humanist service held in a woodland area of the cemetery for my 99 year old neighbour. She was buried in a woven willow coffin (totally biodegradable coffins are very popular now) and although the cemetery knows where they are all located, there are no grave markers, it was a very moving and rather beautiful service. Eastenders and gypsies tend to have big funerals here with glass sided horse drawn hearses, flower wreaths spelling out names, fancy coffins and big processions.
I was 15. My dad. (Not my bio father, who was a real loser. My step dad, who I considered my father.) He's an angel now. He looks over my daughter. The only person in my childhood who actually liked me, and wanted me around. Saved my life in the 8th grade, but that's another story.
15. My father's.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry. That’s a time when a boy really needs his father, too. My heart goes out to you.
Delete11. A guy I grew up with and had our back yard fences attached hung himself while me and his brother were at outdoor ed.
ReplyDeleteEleven. It was my great-uncle.
ReplyDeleteProbably 13. I was in eighth grade, and it was for my mom's father, the only grandparent I knew growing up.
ReplyDeleteWow. Morbid. To make it even worse, I was actually nine. My four year old cousin actually had died of neuroblastoma.
ReplyDelete3 I think one of my grandparents. And soon after the other grandparent.
ReplyDeleteI was 12 when my great grandmother died.
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather died when I was 5, and while I don't remember the funeral, I remember the drunken Irish fest that went on for 3 days afterwards at my parent's house.
ReplyDelete14
ReplyDeleteI was in my 30s.
ReplyDeleteI was 21. It was for my sister's then BF. He committed suicide at 25. I had been to a lot viewings before then.
ReplyDelete5. My maternal Grandfather... I remember, and I still miss him half a decade later. :<
ReplyDelete14, my grandpa
ReplyDelete5
ReplyDeleteMy paternal grandfather. I can still remember standing next to the casket & looking at him.
16
ReplyDeleteIt was my best friend's grandmother.
Age 3 or under - the family was in the "business", so to speak.
ReplyDelete8 or 9, it was the funeral of the man who raised her as a child.
ReplyDelete20, and it was my mother’s.
ReplyDeleteNext year, my baby brother’s.
Both suicides.
Depression SUCKS.
I was five years old and it was my Uncle Joe's funeral.
ReplyDeleteI remember being confused why everyone was sad if Uncle Joe was in Heaven.
12 or 13.
ReplyDelete13
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother died two weeks before my 7th birthday.
ReplyDeleteMy fathers when I was 6 years old.
ReplyDeleteI was 20 it was my Dad's funeral. Both his parents died at Christmas the same year. Gramma's funeral was Christmas Eve.
ReplyDelete18 my father died and I still miss him dearly..
ReplyDeleteI was lucky - I was 21. My Grandfather's funeral. Strangest thing is I actually dreamt of it about 6 months before it happened. My brother was on one side of me and someone else was on my other side, but I couldn't see who it was. When we were in the funeral home, my brother was on one side and no one was on the other.
ReplyDeleteAge was 5 for maternal grandfather I adored. Creepy factor this was back when the dead were kept at home. I can't walk into that house without seeing my grandfather's casket in the living room. I was way too young to have been put into that situation.
ReplyDelete14. It was my granny and she died on my parent's wedding anniversary. And because we are Irish we had her body in our house for her 3 day wake - I refused to sleep in the house or even go in to where her coffin was. Saw her in her death bed and that was enough for me. Granda died two months after, even though we hadn't told him about her passing (he was deaf and blind and in a different part of the residents home they were in). Again, he was back at ours for 3 days and this time I coped better and saw him in his coffin more than once.
ReplyDeleteMy dad's wake last year was a piece of piss compared to theirs!
13. It was for the husband of my mother's co-worker. It was my first time seeing a dead body (open casket at Ukranian Orthodox Church) and he looked green.
ReplyDeletefyi: he looked green for one of two reasons: 1) he wasn't embalmed or 2) he had liver disease and was jaundice at death. Jaundiced bodies do not like embalming fluids, and will sometimes have a reaction that turns the deceased green or blur or purple. There are special fluids for these cases, but it will still happen.
DeleteI remember going to my grandmothers funeral the day after a Grand Funk Railroad concert. Black Oak Arkansas opened. I was still too deafened to hear the service. Probably still buzzed too.
ReplyDelete12. My dads
ReplyDeleteMy grandma’s funeral on my 13th birthday.
ReplyDeleteUnwillingly 2yo it was my granddad's next year it was my uncle's since thence I've never been to any funeral , I even hate to go to them.
ReplyDelete2 years ago my maternal grandpa died but I haven't gone...
2 years ago my uncl
Everyone here can comment and say whatever they want , I even saw someone bad mouthing another commenter in another blind , so are some others in many other blinds , yet! my "innocent" comment needs approval here , so strange and I never said something disrespectful!!
ReplyDeleteFirst one I remember was when I was around seven, but I’d been to funerals before that, including a burial at sea. I’m sorry for all the loss you have had experienced, some at such young and formative ages.
ReplyDeleteI am always interested to see the different types of funeral traditions in each country and for each religion. For Church of England and Church of Scotland, we generally don’t have viewings or open caskets, certainly not as shown in American TV. Our coffins are shaped with narrow ends widening to the shoulders and then tapering down to the feet. The service is at a church or similar where the coffin in brought in and we then follow it and take a pew. If it is a burial, close family and friends go to the place if internment and stand around the grave or family tomb while the vicar/significant person conducts a short graveside service, then we go back to the deceased or close family member’s home for the wake which generally includes considerable alcohol plus canapé type food. Some services are done at chapels (any denomination or none) at the crematorium or cemetery or completely outside.
I’ve also been to Tangis (Māori funerals) at a Marae (Wikipedia is your friend for the explanations of Māori terms). There are many rituals including this body being welcomed into the Marae to lie in state, mourning for several days, closing of the coffin ritual, the graveside service, washing of hands before leaving the burial site, a long meal after the burial, house cleaning, not leaving the bereaved alone for the next week or so, unveiling the headstone a year later, etc. It really comes from the heart. I’m not from a Māori tribe so I may have missed some finer details. Even though they are half a world apart, there are similarities between a Māori and Irish funeral.
I can't remember specifically, but I was probably pretty young. I grew up in a rural community, and there were lots and lots of older people and everybody saw everybody else all the time so I'm sure I was about 4 or 5.
ReplyDelete@laabid It's nothing personal. We had a crazy person or persons around here for a while so Enty is being extra cautious. Don't worry, he ALWAYS gets lazy eventually.
Thank you! I was wondering since it seemed like other people's comments get posted simultaneously and I had to wait more than an hour to see mine published that's why I complained about that
DeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI don't remember my age of the first funeral I attended.
But, I was in grade school and an alter boy!
I remember having to hold the incense thing and carry it in front of the casket and hand to to the priest as part of the ceremony.
Empathy and sympathy for those who have shared before.
ReplyDeleteMy last living grandma died when I was 12months. I don't remember her funeral.
tl:dr - when I was 5/6 years old, my mother took me with her on visits to a woman who was very sick. While mom was fooling with her stomach tube this woman looked at me with eyes that will haunt me forever. Suffering, endurance. No smile for a child. I can now meet anyone's gaze after meeting hers.
Anyway, she eventually passed and we went to her funeral. At which we supposed to kneel by the coffin. No way. Surprisingly, mom honored my refusal.
EM and Im' ....Thanks for sharing your customs! I googled Marae which is Polynesian and Australian customs from which I gathered. Interesting. As as well as the Irish customs.
ReplyDeleteI am from the American South and viewings (which I hate and still creeps me out though I should state my cousin I mentioned above was not an open casket). Here one usually wears your Sunday best aka Suit and tie....family and close friends/ acquaintances go to open casket viewing the night before funeral. Then, the following day go to funeral service and again, those closest go to a graveside ceremony. We leave before any form of burial takes place. The burial is usually done in a couple hours but under no circumstances is the family suppose to see the actual lowering of the casket. It is so interesting too how different parts of the US do funerals differently.
my best friend died when i was 16, they played a slideshow at the funeral to the arms of the angels... it was so sad and most of the pictures were her and i and thats where i had my first panic attack... i wrote her a goodbye note and put it in her casket, i was supposed to ride with hero a party and in the last instant i changed my mind (my mom thought i was at ambers house and i didn't want to get caught up in a lie and grounded from my car) so i left and went to ambers, next thing i know I'm told she has died ... flipped the vehicle and flew out died on impact!!t trust your gut! if you have a bad feeling in a situation leave!!
ReplyDeleteChristmas 1990 relative went nuts and killed himself with me in the roomml.
ReplyDeleteI was only 4 or 5. My little friend's father died. He had some kind of brain surgery but that is really all I remember. I still remember to this day how dark the room where they had the body looked. My Mom walked up the aisle with me and the man was laid out. It really scared me to death because he was kinda yellow and waxy.
ReplyDeleteI was way to young to see that dead body because I have had trouble going to any funerals ever since. .I refuse to look at dead bodies even today.
12. My friend died in a hotel fire -- it was arson. She was with her grandmother, aunt, and baby cousin on vacation, all died. We had just at the end of the school year had training -- with her a volunteer demonstrator participant -- on what to do in fires.
ReplyDeleteIt has only become more devastating as years go on, for different reasons. For example, now, I remember her mother -- who had to work and was not on this trip -- went into shock and was hospitalized for quite a while. As an adult here's how I understand it now: Her mother in that awful night lost: Her mother, her daughter, her sister, and her newborn nephew. Aspects of the arson that I understand fully only now that I am older are also overwhelming and awful to think about.
@Bleu That's horrible. :(
ReplyDeleteI am saddened reading of the deaths, especially suicides. Some so young too.
ReplyDelete@TeeHee yes, It is in that part of the world , actually New Zealand to be exact. Your funerals are very different. In the UK and when I was in NZ too we saw the lowering of the casket, that’s important to us. Then family members take turns to scatter a little soil on top while the “Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust” part is recited once the coffin is lowered. It’s often followed by people dropping single flowers on the coffin as they say goodbye. Public viewings of an open coffin are uncommon, and bodies are not usually embalmed. Just in cold storage for a few days then taken by the undertaker to the service for the funeral. Even state funerals like those for royalty or notable people are closed coffins, often with a flag draped over them. If sometimes lies in state they will be embalmed. It’s seen as a bit crass to have ostentatious coffins. They are supposed to be very simple. The last funeral I went to was a Humanist service held in a woodland area of the cemetery for my 99 year old neighbour. She was buried in a woven willow coffin (totally biodegradable coffins are very popular now) and although the cemetery knows where they are all located, there are no grave markers, it was a very moving and rather beautiful service. Eastenders and gypsies tend to have big funerals here with glass sided horse drawn hearses, flower wreaths spelling out names, fancy coffins and big processions.
13. Uncle
ReplyDelete16 - my great-grandmother
ReplyDelete3 months old via a tiny charter plane
ReplyDelete11. My Dad. He died at 40 from dranking. Owned a bar in Chicago. I have hated and avoided funerals ever since.
ReplyDelete16. My friend's mom, cancer sucks.
ReplyDeleteAlso, terribly saddened by the comments, tragic shit.
ReplyDeleteI was 15. My dad. (Not my bio father, who was a real loser. My step dad, who I considered my father.) He's an angel now. He looks over my daughter.
ReplyDeleteThe only person in my childhood who actually liked me, and wanted me around. Saved my life in the 8th grade, but that's another story.