Blind Item #5
Things are looking up for those who want the permanent A list "singer" to be able to retire to her home state and not have to work for others any longer.
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Britney/LOuisiana
ReplyDeleteYay Britney!
ReplyDeleteplease yes
ReplyDeleteGet fat and f*ck a bunch of toyboys, live the good life.
ReplyDeleteShe is gonna be chained to Jaimie's porch, scaring the neighborhood kids on their way too and from school
ReplyDeleteYou never know, @Jerkula. That sounds more fun than a Vegas residency, and it’s not like she doesn’t have enough money to do pretty much whatever she wants. Including have a Postmate deliver bolt cutters when it gets old.
DeleteAlways wanted to grow up to be the weird old lady on the block who terrifies some kids and fascinates others.*
*And Christ on a sofa, I can’t believe I have to add this disclaimer, but I know CDAN too well: terrifies and fascinates in a completely platonic non-pedo mentorly quasi-granny way**.
**The neighborhood grannies next door were a valuable part of my childhood. One widow even taught me basic Dutch and how to serve tea and talked about traveling the world and her childhood before WWI. Cool lady I remember fondly to this day, even if her dog was always an excessively friendly shaggy monster of an overgrown puppy.
I have a similar goal in being the pervy old man most broads 1/2 my age thinks is harmless but the freaky ones/daddy issues ones want to take for a spin.
DeleteSee ya across the cup-de-sac in 30 years, Jerkula! 🤣
Delete*cul de sac
DeleteAutocorrect, you bitch.
What? Does this me you dont want to cup my sack? Testicle play is a key ingredient to quality fellatio.
DeleteYeah, no. I’m tragically allergic to male genitalia, but hold out for those freaky broads with daddy issues, man. They’re out there.
Delete:(
DeleteGo, Britney!
ReplyDeleteTeam Britney!
ReplyDeleteThey won’t just let her retire or stop making money for them to spend. There has to be something else...Jaime probably watched Black Mirror And is looking into a Britney Eternal
ReplyDeleteFree redneck brit brit!
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Brit! Go live a good life. You’ve earned it.
ReplyDeleteI wanna see her enroll at lsu as an undergrad. Now that would be great reality tv
ReplyDelete@Drew, Why so she could teach indebted students how to be a success without going to college?
ReplyDeleteShe could be a house mama for the lsu dance squad
DeleteTake those extensions out, your shoes off and use the gas station rest rooms Bertney, be free!
ReplyDeleteAwww, Count! That seemed so promising, and then just got shot out of the sky unexpectedly! I think the two of you could still make for quite the cul-de-sac buddies!
ReplyDelete😃 @Vita! Just imagine the effect we could have on local property values.
DeleteBritney's new address: Doing Whatever She'd Like, Louisiana!
ReplyDeleteThe court and the estate reached a settlement and BS will do in-calls only. Kind of like putting the yacht in mothballs.
ReplyDeleteI hope so.
ReplyDeleteRemarry Jason Alexander, BritBrit!
ReplyDeleteDrewholthaus-- that made me think of the ads for that movie Ma! 😲 Maybe we should start with baby steps for Brit!
ReplyDeleteHanniam-- property values!😂😂😂
ReplyDelete