Today's Blind Items - Comedian's Kink
This comedian is not just a comedian. He is an actor too. Also does voices. Foreign born. Several movie franchises. A hit television show in which he starred is in his past too. Married. He is probably A-/B+ list.
A former adult dancer was telling about some of her past clients and said this celebrity was for sure in the most strange behavior of anyone she had encountered, celebrity or otherwise. Six or seven years ago this comic actor visited her club. She didn't recognize him at first because his hair was gray and he looked older than he did on the show he was most known for. He made eye contact with her while she was performing and wouldn't break it. It wasn't normal ogling. She said it felt more like a predator stalking his prey.
Then one of the other dancers told her who he was. Being a fan, she went over to him and they talked for a while. She mentioned wanting to be an illustrator and he said his child liked drawing too, and he showed her toddler sketches of monsters on his phone. Bragging about his child made him seem less creepy to her.
After she got off for the night, they went back to her apartment and he orally serviced her. She was going to reciprocate when he asked her if she had a dildo. She grabbed a dildo and lube thinking he was going to use it on her. Instead he used it on himself and had her watch. He asked her to verbally abuse him because he gets off on humiliation. After he was done, he put the dirty dildo in his mouth and sucked on it while making her shout more insults at him as he masturbated with his other hand.
She said she never was able to watch anything else he has done since because of the images stuck in her head.
A former adult dancer was telling about some of her past clients and said this celebrity was for sure in the most strange behavior of anyone she had encountered, celebrity or otherwise. Six or seven years ago this comic actor visited her club. She didn't recognize him at first because his hair was gray and he looked older than he did on the show he was most known for. He made eye contact with her while she was performing and wouldn't break it. It wasn't normal ogling. She said it felt more like a predator stalking his prey.
Then one of the other dancers told her who he was. Being a fan, she went over to him and they talked for a while. She mentioned wanting to be an illustrator and he said his child liked drawing too, and he showed her toddler sketches of monsters on his phone. Bragging about his child made him seem less creepy to her.
After she got off for the night, they went back to her apartment and he orally serviced her. She was going to reciprocate when he asked her if she had a dildo. She grabbed a dildo and lube thinking he was going to use it on her. Instead he used it on himself and had her watch. He asked her to verbally abuse him because he gets off on humiliation. After he was done, he put the dirty dildo in his mouth and sucked on it while making her shout more insults at him as he masturbated with his other hand.
She said she never was able to watch anything else he has done since because of the images stuck in her head.
Sasha Baron Cohen?
ReplyDeleteI've got to stop reading CDAN while I'm eating lunch.
ReplyDeleteMike Meyers
ReplyDeleteDana Carvey?
ReplyDeleteMike Meyers was my first thought
ReplyDeleteJim Carrey?
ReplyDeleteMyers is good also.
ReplyDeleteWhat, everyone knows that comedians are deviants. Sounds like he paid this part time whore for a session but instead of banging her, he just did most of the work himself.
ReplyDeleteDana Carvey was born in Montana.
ReplyDeleteMeyers -Canadian with all white hair now. Son would of been the only child 6 or 7 years ago. Shrek, Austin Powers. TV Show SNL.
ReplyDeleteJim Carrey doesn’t have kids tho. Sure sounds like Mike Meyers to me .... but I’d argue he was A+ at a point in his career, which should’ve garnered a mention. Also, MM going down on a chick? Thought he was gay.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Moose - Jim Carrey.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like him but he isn't married and I believe had one full grown child. She was definitely not a child 6 or 7 years ago.
DeleteOh she was just a nice girl working as a stripper who brought a married rich guy home for sex, she was probably shocked she didn't have to be the one sucking the ass dildo like with her other johns.
ReplyDeleteJim Carrey isnt married.
ReplyDeletejim Carrey has a daughter @kelli grrl. Her name is Jane. Auditioned for American Idol some years back.
ReplyDeleteRyan Reynolds? He's a kinky bastard.
ReplyDeleteWill Arnett
ReplyDeleteBorn in Toronto
Has kids
Has Arrested Development
Has the lego franchise, teenage mutant hero turtles etc...
But the franchise is the one I can make stick
Thought Id be different
The worst part is eating out a stripper snatch. I can it being green and oozing puss.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Enty meant he was married at the time...
ReplyDeleteMyers may have been A+ 25 years ago, but right now A-/B+ is generous
ReplyDeleteJim Carrey not married now or when this takes place. Could be Mike Myers,but like most people, thought he was gay.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWhen did Jim Carrey have white hair?
https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/mike-myers-canada-1.3817953
Kelsey Grammer was born in St. Thomas VI (still foreign) and his ex wife Camille recently said on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that "her ex liked her to use a strap on with him".
ReplyDeleteI live here -it’s not. It’s a US Territory-he’s American. I didn’t know he was born here though.., cool to know:)👍
DeleteProbably not Myers but I can't believe his best and funniest franchise, Wayne's World, wasn't mentioned by other commenters when listing his biggest works.
ReplyDeletewill arnett is a good guess - +1 filmfanb
ReplyDeleteWill Ferrell
ReplyDeleteWayne's World not a franchise.
ReplyDeleteIt had 2 movies.
DeleteHe also started in Austin Powers and is the voice of Shrek, which are both franchises.
Delete*starred
DeleteIf she thinks this is strange she needs to get out more
ReplyDeleteWayne's World isn't a franchise but Austin Powers is.
ReplyDeleteThere were two Wayne's World movies as far as I can remember.
ReplyDeleteVery Nice And Interesting Post, thank you for sharing
ReplyDeleteNarendra Modi Quotes
Excellence Quotes - Wiki Dragons
Train Hard Quotes - Decent Images
Future Quotes - Anuj Somany
Super Successful Quotes
Good Exam Quotes - Quotes Words
If it weren't for the foreign born comment, this could easily be Steve Carell.
ReplyDeleteHas Hugh Grant done any tv?
ReplyDeleteJohn Cleese. Monty Python, Faulty Towers. James Bond. Tons of roles. Voice overs on nature shows, cartoons, Shrek. Very prolific as he's married and divorced too many times.
ReplyDeleteDoes John Cleese have young children though?
ReplyDeleteWill Arnetts kids are 8 and 10
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long long time since Cleese's kids were toddlers, Hushy, certainly the only way he could have shown a stripper his kids drawings on his phone was to carry round and old rotary phone with the paper drawings taped to it.
ReplyDeleteMike Myers.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to think I'm very open minded. But I just pushed my lunch aside and I'll wait a few minutes while I watch some cute little panda videos to clear my head
ReplyDeleteDoes Jermaine from FotC and Moana fit? He's aging like left out milk.
ReplyDeleteShut your mouth 🤣🤣🤣
Delete@Vic *dead*
ReplyDeleteLouis CK is normal compared to this cat.
ReplyDeleteJemaine Clement does tick all the boxes
ReplyDelete✓Comedian
✓Actor
✓TV Show (Legion, Conchords)
✓Voice Work (Rio, Moana)
✓Foreign (NZ)
✓Franchises (MIB, Muppets)
✓Child (one)
✓Married
✓Greying hair
Did the stripper ever make it as an illustrator?
Noooooo. Stop it 🤣🤣
DeleteRussel Brand
ReplyDeleteFlashy Vic- Seriously, you got a loud, snorting laugh that time!
ReplyDeleteCould be Jemaine, but I thunk it is Mike Myers...I don't think all of those weird and wonderful characters roll around in his head without a few of the odder ones popping up in the boudoir on occasion. That being said, who's got the bleach?
Thunk!-- Lordy! Think!
ReplyDeleteMr Downton Abbey loves a dildo in him.
ReplyDeleteSteve Carrel? He went gray
ReplyDeleteWas he talking to her in the voice of Fat Bastard? "Oh yeah, gimm tha sweet love!"
ReplyDelete@SD, It's not vanilla but it shouldn't be strange for a sex worker.
ReplyDeleteI searched "dildo" with Jermaine's twitter and he does like talking about them.
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=dildo%20from%3Aajemaineclement
Not saying it's him, but it isn't what the average person brings up in normal conversation.
Simon Pegg.
ReplyDeleteDoes voiceovers (Ice Age, a few more) Has done several films, Spaced was a huge show back in the day. Think he did have grey hair at some point...
...Andy Dick!
ReplyDeleteI'm with it being Jemaine Clement. He looks very different than he did in 2007-2009, he's known to like strippers, and he matches the description. Or it could be some grey haired nobody who pretends to be famous so whores let him put their sex toys in his pooper.
ReplyDeleteWhite haired Mike Myers still looks like Mike Myers. The stripper would have to be blind not to recognize him.
I don’t know if either fits, but maybe Craig Ferguson or Mr. Bean?
ReplyDeleteI detest myself for this guess of Dave Fo!ey.
ReplyDeleteIt’s Mike Myers
ReplyDeleteHe just popped up(!) recently in
Bohemian Rhapsody
Yay, Mike Meyers fits better. Thanks be to whatever that wonderful Dave Foley has no film franchises and was a bad guess. I love him
ReplyDelete@Amy
ReplyDeleteSimon Pegg?
LOL
Never heard of Jermaine Clement so I doubt he is considered A- list
ReplyDeleteMr. Bean
ReplyDeleteJemaine Clement does do uncomfortably long eye contact. I've been on the receiving end of it. I always had him pegged (pun intended) as being into the weird stuff.
ReplyDeleteWhoever Jemaine Clement is??- he is not A list.
ReplyDeleteDepends what Enty considers A- list. He's not a leading man but has been in high grossing movies like MIB and Moana and will be in the new Avatars.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought. Could it actually be Taika Watiti? He voiced Korg in Thor which is a franchise he directs. The blind item doesn't say director but it could've been left not make it too obvious.
He sucked on a poo poo dildo? Out of his own pooper? Not nice.
ReplyDeleteSucking on a dildo that had been in his Ass?? Hope he was on drugs. Have to be high to toss salad sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the psychology behind something like this? As someone who doesn't find licking my poop to be a turn on, I just don't get it.
ReplyDelete10000% Ricky Gervais
ReplyDeletegoing down on a stripper is such a great example of "Canadian Nice"
ReplyDeleteThe problem with The Flight of the Concords guy is that had jet black hair 6 or 7 years ago. Myers is a weirdo with huge issues. This is from over 10 years ago. Myers "has spoken of wrestling with low self-esteem, of an aversion to being touched or hugged, of being drawn toward characters who are ugly or awkward".
ReplyDeleteHere's Jermaine in 2013. His hair was graying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JssLh8D8U94
ReplyDeleteThat makes me feel bad for Mike Myers. Is it how the gay rumors started? He didn't like being touched so women assumed he was gay? He never pinged for me.
Mike Meyers' eldest was born in 2011 and would've been 1 or 2. Kids that young lack the fine motor skills to draw anything beyond scribbles. They're just learning how to pick up a crayon at 2.
ReplyDeleteMike Meyers & watch what you put in your mouth folks!
ReplyDeleteYou actually can die from Giardia & intestinal parasites, as well as contract oral and throat cancers.
Ok. I'm officially coming just for Brayson87's comments. They are GOLD. TY :)
ReplyDeleteI like the Russell Brand guess too, bc there was a pic months ago where he was letting his grey grow, then later I saw he caved and dyed it.
ReplyDeleteBut, what the hell do I know.
So he was a creepy predator until she found out he was famous; got it.
ReplyDeleteMike Myer's oldest is only 7 now and Russell Brand wasn't a father 6-7 years ago. Neither of them work here
ReplyDelete@HouellebecqGurl - I agree! Ugh. I'd like to think that I'm an open-minded individual, but I do have some limits. Bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia, and eating feces are several of them. I can't even imagine that it tastes good and with all the potential diseases and parasites you could eat, ggggggrrrrroooooosssssss. Pink eye the house!
ReplyDelete