This A+ list singer might want to check in with that foreign born DJ she dated because he was drinking a bit much last night at an after party and was talking smack about the A+ lister.
Calvin Harris is from Dumfries in the wilds of the Southern Uplands in Scotland.
Many, many moons when I was 20 ago I was with two friends returning from a Neil Young gig in Birmingham to the Scottish ferry port of Stranraer. Our bus money only went as far as Dumfries and we would have to hitch the remaining 70 or 80 miles and there was a storm brewing, so we decided to drink what money we had left to fortify us for the rest of the trip.
We went into a bar by the river Nith called The Victoria. A bit of a dive, as you'd say now, but it seemed friendly enough. After a few minutes a man came in and the previously friendly milfy 40ish barmaid screamed at him, "Albert!! You bastard! You'll never suck on these fuckers again!!" and whapped out an impressive pair of sweater puppies to a round of wild applause. I believe I may have stood on the table cheering.
Albert barely glanced in her direction and went to the other end of the bar to order a drink of the other barman.
Later we nearly got into fight with a couple of locals over who was going to buy the last cheese bap (they did) and had to leave.
A half hour later we saw a woman vomit on her kid.
The storm hit as we trudged out of town and along the A75 into the surrounding wilderness - and it's one of the few areas of Britain that actually has wilderness. There a forest called the Forest of We we had to skirt.
Most likely Tay and Calvin Harris, but to be different, what about Selena G. and Zedd? Or Rita Ora and Calvin Harris? Or Ellie Goulding and Calvin Harris?
Yes, I'm aware that that would mean we would be considering Selena, Rita, and Ellie A+ list singers, but I'm just trying to look at other options. *shrugs*
Love that story. Especially that you saw Neil Young in Birmingham🤟I figured he got sober after excessive partying and maybe to escape what he’s seen/known. Same with Ewan McGregor and Christian Bale (from wales though he doesn’t identify with it.... not even when he speaks in its accent/dialect:)
Escaping a small village after seeing how boring they were??!! McGregor comes from a village....known for its heroin and binge drinking back in the 90's...I am Scottish I know these things
Not surprised he had a few bevies he won 2 Brit Awards last night. first time in over 10 years of making music.
About 10 years ago he helped to rescue my daughter when she got crushed in the VFestival crowd and had to be lifted to safety over the stage. He carried her out to a safe area as he had been watching the band that was playing from the wings. She had broken a bone in her foot and couldn't put any weight on it.
The guy spent how much money on personal trainers/ plastic surgery to look like some alpha dude and then signed up for a p.r. stunt with a power lesbian where he got utterly humiliated for over a year. Of course he is a bitter loser whatever award he picks up. His music is medicore s*** as well.
@Flashy Vic - Birmingham's only 20 miles from me. I remember in the 70s being on the Stranraer to Larne overnight train on the way to my then in-laws in Northern Ireland. Woke up in Central Station, Glasgow and had the best English fry-up breakfast ever! No baps though ;)
re: trufflepig: the only person I think is more overrated than Taylor Swift is Calvin Harris. He's indistinguishable from every early 00's frat-bro college boy DJ. I. Do. Not. Get. It.
@ Flashy Vic - I thought you were going to reveal that Albert was Calvin Harris' real name. Still, a good tale with the sweater puppies and cheese baps!
Remembering his tantrum on twitter after they broke up, I wouldn't be surprised if it's Calvin/Taylor. He seems like a douche. And it was him who prohibited Rita Ora sing songs he wrote for HER. Yep , wouldn't be surprised at all .
Jan-- great to hear the positive story about him, and that your daughter was rescued!
Mango-- I got all sucked into the story, too, wondering if Albert and Sweater Puppies reunited and became the parents of....Calvin! But, this was even better, bc we learned of baps and a puking mother along the way to a safe return home. Seems those Baggins boys have nothing on your journeys, Flashy!
I think an Enty podcast featuring Tales from Flashy needs to happen, so that we can all gather round our respective devices, baps and beverages of choice, and hear these stories in their natural dialect!🍻
TayTay and Calvin Harris?
ReplyDeleteTaylor/ Calvin
ReplyDeleteSPILL THE TEA
Give us the delicious lesbo deets on karlie and tay tay!!
DeleteI thought their beef was over
ReplyDeleteI thought he was sober a while now
ReplyDeleteTaylor Swift must be the most overrated person on earth
ReplyDelete"Dated"
ReplyDelete+10000000000000000000000000000000000 @trufflepig
ReplyDeleteCalvin Harris is from Dumfries in the wilds of the Southern Uplands in Scotland.
ReplyDeleteMany, many moons when I was 20 ago I was with two friends returning from a Neil Young gig in Birmingham to the Scottish ferry port of Stranraer.
Our bus money only went as far as Dumfries and we would have to hitch the remaining 70 or 80 miles and there was a storm brewing, so we decided to drink what money we had left to fortify us for the rest of the trip.
We went into a bar by the river Nith called The Victoria.
A bit of a dive, as you'd say now, but it seemed friendly enough.
After a few minutes a man came in and the previously friendly milfy 40ish barmaid screamed at him, "Albert!! You bastard! You'll never suck on these fuckers again!!" and whapped out an impressive pair of sweater puppies to a round of wild applause.
I believe I may have stood on the table cheering.
Albert barely glanced in her direction and went to the other end of the bar to order a drink of the other barman.
Later we nearly got into fight with a couple of locals over who was going to buy the last cheese bap (they did) and had to leave.
A half hour later we saw a woman vomit on her kid.
The storm hit as we trudged out of town and along the A75 into the surrounding wilderness - and it's one of the few areas of Britain that actually has wilderness. There a forest called the Forest of We we had to skirt.
Still made the ferry though!😎
Happy Days.
What was the blind again?
Forest of Ae not We.
ReplyDeleteKim Zolciak Biermann and DJ Tracey Young
ReplyDeleteIf it;s Taylor, you can be damed sure he signed an NDA....so, big trouble for him.
ReplyDeleteCalvin is a plus plus in the dj world maybe hes too famous to sign one
DeleteWhat the hell goes on in Scotland? Jesus! The British Isles has some hard drinking people 🍺
ReplyDeleteMost likely Tay and Calvin Harris, but to be different, what about Selena G. and Zedd? Or Rita Ora and Calvin Harris? Or Ellie Goulding and Calvin Harris?
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm aware that that would mean we would be considering Selena, Rita, and Ellie A+ list singers, but I'm just trying to look at other options. *shrugs*
Also-isn't he gay too? I mean what is the tea, they were friends with couples and swapped?
ReplyDeleteLa vander relationsip like hugh Jackman and wife
DeleteGreat story, Vic! May I ask what a “cheese bap” is? (I could google, but I think your answer would be way more entertaining.)
ReplyDeleteSimple answer, a bap with cheese in it😁
ReplyDeleteA bap is a bread roll.
We have Belfast Baps around here, they are crusty baps the size of a baby's head.
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/BJC866/a-traditional-crusty-belfast-bap-BJC866.jpg
A crisp bap is a Belfast bap filled with (usually Tayto's cheese and onion flavoured) crisps, what you call 'chips', which is wrong on so many levels.
Love that story. Especially that you saw Neil Young in Birmingham🤟I figured he got sober after excessive partying and maybe to escape what he’s seen/known. Same with Ewan McGregor and Christian Bale (from
Deletewales though he doesn’t identify with it.... not even when he speaks in its accent/dialect:)
Escaping a small village after seeing how boring they were??!! McGregor comes from a village....known for its heroin and binge drinking back in the 90's...I am Scottish I know these things
DeleteOrdinary baps are a lot smaller than a Belfast bap though.
ReplyDeleteA bap is also a local dialect term for a head.
Also slang for boobs. But for us? Yup 'wise your bap!'
DeleteA crisp bap meal...
ReplyDeletehttps://img.rasset.ie/000a0204-500.jpg
Don't let them know about the deep fried mars-bars...
ReplyDeleteDeep Fried Oreos too...
DeleteThanks for the bap lesson, Vic! 😀
ReplyDeleteNow I am craving cheese on a fresh, warm roll - yummmmm!!
ReplyDeleteNot surprised he had a few bevies he won 2 Brit Awards last night. first time in over 10 years of making music.
ReplyDeleteAbout 10 years ago he helped to rescue my daughter when she got crushed in the VFestival crowd and had to be lifted to safety over the stage. He carried her out to a safe area as he had been watching the band that was playing from the wings. She had broken a bone in her foot and couldn't put any weight on it.
The guy spent how much money on personal trainers/ plastic surgery to look like some alpha dude and then signed up for a p.r. stunt with a power lesbian where he got utterly humiliated for over a year. Of course he is a bitter loser whatever award he picks up. His music is medicore s*** as well.
ReplyDeleteDiplo and Katy Perry, MIA, Madonna
ReplyDeletenever mind. Diplo was born in Mississippi
ReplyDelete@Flashy Vic - Birmingham's only 20 miles from me. I remember in the 70s being on the Stranraer to Larne overnight train on the way to my then in-laws in Northern Ireland. Woke up in Central Station, Glasgow and had the best English fry-up breakfast ever! No baps though ;)
ReplyDeletere: trufflepig: the only person I think is more overrated than Taylor Swift is Calvin Harris. He's indistinguishable from every early 00's frat-bro college boy DJ. I. Do. Not. Get. It.
ReplyDelete@Jan I don't follow his music but as someone who's been smashed in a violent moshpit, massive respect for that alone.
ReplyDelete@ Flashy Vic - I thought you were going to reveal that Albert was Calvin Harris' real name. Still, a good tale with the sweater puppies and cheese baps!
ReplyDeleteHoly christ, Vic - that was a story!
ReplyDeleteOMG- I need a bap!! Those look delicious. Thanks for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteRemembering his tantrum on twitter after they broke up, I wouldn't be surprised if it's Calvin/Taylor. He seems like a douche. And it was him who prohibited Rita Ora sing songs he wrote for HER. Yep , wouldn't be surprised at all .
ReplyDeleteVic, your story was much better than the blind!
ReplyDeleteJan-- great to hear the positive story about him, and that your daughter was rescued!
ReplyDeleteMango-- I got all sucked into the story, too, wondering if Albert and Sweater Puppies reunited and became the parents of....Calvin! But, this was even better, bc we learned of baps and a puking mother along the way to a safe return home. Seems those Baggins boys have nothing on your journeys, Flashy!
I think an Enty podcast featuring Tales from Flashy needs to happen, so that we can all gather round our respective devices, baps and beverages of choice, and hear these stories in their natural dialect!🍻
I definitely think Calvin's drunken, salty liver would be capable of dishing all sorts of details. The boy has slipped into petty more than once.
ReplyDeleteCalvin doesn't drink even a drop of alcohol, Enty is faking stories again...
ReplyDelete+1000000000000000
DeleteWarren Zevon knew what to do: Lawyers, Guns, and Money, the Hollywood Trinity
ReplyDeleteRIP, Warren💓🎶
ReplyDeleteThe people amazed by the bap story have clearly never been to the UK lol
ReplyDelete