Blind Item #8 - The Interview - A Dancing Boy Blind

Here's one to lighten the mood in advance of the next Dancing Boys of Hollywood blind items:

We interrupt "The Dancing Boys of Hollywood" blind item series to bring you a very special interview. It took place on a recent, secret trip to Los Angeles, and is of a former child actress - the same one recently "interviewed" by a foreign firm.

Unlike theirs, you may just get to hear the full interview, which was transcribed and recorded (should one or the other get into the wrong hands). You see: I was recently contacted by a producer for this one podcasting network about developing a dancing boy series. (This is the network founded by the former longtime producer of a certain longstanding national radio program - the one devoted to storytelling.)

Here's an excerpt:

DB: I'm here today at Felix Trattoria for a discussion, over lunch with (this one actress).

**: Everyone, it's the McDonalds on La Cienega.

DB: It's the NICE McDonalds on La Cienega.

**: We're eating freaking happy meals people.

DB: I didn't have the budget for adult food. Also, I'm on a diet.

**: Is that why you ate all your McNuggets and then helped yourself to half of mine?

DB: I know, but, McNuggets.

**: Can we please just get this over with?

DB: Okay, since we're on the subject of food, do you remember what they served you on the set of that one extremely big movie in the 80s?

**: I don't know, the usual - sandwiches, sushi. I think there was Chinese once.

DB: So, table scraps, basically.

**: Wait, what are you doing?

DB: Interviewing you?

**: That isn't what I said.

DB: Maybe not exactly.

**: Maybe not at all.

DB: Okay, but this is way better. It's all like: they treated you like trained animals. Here kids, have some table scraps. Then the men watched as you ate them off the floor.

** (MAD!): Give me that crayon.

(Struggle for crayon ensues. A woman interrupts.)

Woman: Are you (this one actress)?

**: I am.

Woman: Could I trouble you for an autograph. My daughter is a big fan.

**: Of course. What's her name?

Woman: Hailey.

**: That's a nice name.

DB: Do you want mine too?

Woman: Who the hell are you?

DB: I'm the dancing boy.

Woman: Never heard of him.

(Thanks exchanged, woman walks off. ** goes back to glaring at me.)

DB: So what did the space alien like to eat?

**: The space alien was a puppet dancing boy.

DB: Did you ever get to meet the real space alien it was based on?

**: This interview is so over.

DB: Can I get a ride to the bus station?

** (without looking back): No.