Blind Item #3 - Pretty Is As Pretty Does - An INSIDERHER Blind Item
It was the early 90’s.
I was invited to the Paramount lot for one of their epic premiere parties. These were the days of big budget action flicks, and parties attended by all Hollywood. I was psyched!
They had a buffet that would make anyone salivate. I’m vegan, but the shrimp & lobster buffet had me wishing I could eat just one jumbo shrimp!
While I was debating the merits of veganism to myself, a man approached the table and flashed me a big, beautiful smile.
I almost forgot the shrimp! This was maybe the most handsome, or beautiful, really-man I had ever seen. If I hadn’t been married at the time, it’s quite likely the night would not have ended at the shrimp bar!
As I just stared at this tall, mocha colored multi-talented celeb, I thought:
This is the nicest guy! Look at that smile! Those eyes! The way he goes for the shrimp. The way he looks flirty & yet respectful towards women!
I returned to my table aflutter, and talked about how charming & friendly the famous guy at the shrimp bar was.
Less than a year later, it became clear that a smiling pretty face means nothing. That a murderous heart can beat beneath a beautiful exterior.
I watched on TV as our neighborhood became a crime scene.
I still find it very, very hard to understand how it was possible I didn’t pick up any of the violence lurking just beneath the surface of this guy.
I was very, very grateful that our flirtation ended at the seafood.
I was invited to the Paramount lot for one of their epic premiere parties. These were the days of big budget action flicks, and parties attended by all Hollywood. I was psyched!
They had a buffet that would make anyone salivate. I’m vegan, but the shrimp & lobster buffet had me wishing I could eat just one jumbo shrimp!
While I was debating the merits of veganism to myself, a man approached the table and flashed me a big, beautiful smile.
I almost forgot the shrimp! This was maybe the most handsome, or beautiful, really-man I had ever seen. If I hadn’t been married at the time, it’s quite likely the night would not have ended at the shrimp bar!
As I just stared at this tall, mocha colored multi-talented celeb, I thought:
This is the nicest guy! Look at that smile! Those eyes! The way he goes for the shrimp. The way he looks flirty & yet respectful towards women!
I returned to my table aflutter, and talked about how charming & friendly the famous guy at the shrimp bar was.
Less than a year later, it became clear that a smiling pretty face means nothing. That a murderous heart can beat beneath a beautiful exterior.
I watched on TV as our neighborhood became a crime scene.
I still find it very, very hard to understand how it was possible I didn’t pick up any of the violence lurking just beneath the surface of this guy.
I was very, very grateful that our flirtation ended at the seafood.
OJ
ReplyDelete^^^^ Obviously
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to eat shrimp! Vegans need to get over themselves.
ReplyDeleteMichael Dorn noooooo
ReplyDeleteOh yes he was movie star handsome back in the day. Now he is a crazy scary old man. Thank your lucky stars lady!
ReplyDeleteOJ . I do not know who Dorn is.
DeleteHe murdered the rightful Chancellor Gowron
DeleteQapla'
Delete@Sd Auntie
DeleteWorf is best known for portraying Worf on Star Trek the Next Generation & Star Trek Deep Space Nine.
ReplyDelete"vegans need to get over themselves"..says the person who eats the cockroach of the sea.
Preachy vegans or carnivores are equally ridiculous.
My favorite was "I'm a gay vegan and here's my gay boyfriend who loudly speaks about his thc suppositories, let me tell you why it was ok for me to move to NYC to live off food stamps and start a nonprofit to groom queer drama kids!"
DeleteDo you think Geeljire politely nodded on that one?
Geeljire you are the best 😂
DeleteSo....what does this even mean... She saw OJ once at a party? Uh. OK> I saw Charles Nelson Riley at the dry cleaners once and he complimented my shirt. Ima write a blind now...
ReplyDeleteThere’s some pretty incredible vegan shrimp around the LA area these days. Au Lac downtown and One Veg World out in the SGV in particular.
ReplyDeleteNever much liked actual shrimp in more than theory, because I’m just queasy enough about the idea of eating that much of an obviously once alive creature* to avoid them, no matter how tasty they look.
The best veggie versions have the elements of shrimp I liked as a kid, before I knew what it was, without the parts that drive me away as an adult.
And I’m going with OJ too. That’s who first came to mind. What a creepy hindsight encounter. I like your style, Insiderher.
*No judgment to those who do.
"preachy vegans" ... lol
ReplyDeleteMore meat for the rest of us!
Velora - +1
ReplyDeleteWhat's funny is people pay large amounts of money to eat a lobster...and it's basically the cockroach of the ocean. They are from the same family! It eats all the discarded matter by other sea creatures. Makes my skin crawl thinking about it.
Pretentious idiots will eat anything if you jack up the price and call it a delicacy.
All the good stuff are bttm dwelling scum suckers... lobster, crab, abalone, scallops, halibut, sturgeon, clams.
DeleteAll my favorites!!
@Glue The part that grossed me out for good about Shrimp is the way Southeast Asian shrimp farms operate and the sheer amount of yuck in those pools. Seriously, the water was OPAQUE, and the amount of antibiotics the farmers had to pump in can not be helping matters in the long term.
Delete@JF You’re welcome to my metaphorical share of all of them. :)
+1 to Tricia13 - OJ was the first to pop in my mind too after reading the blind.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for resisting temptation and staying vegan! 🌱
ReplyDeleteI wish I could find more vegan seafood options near me. I finally gave up seafood six months ago and I miss the hell out of it.
ReplyDelete@Do Tell If you have any big Chinese markets within driving distance, check out their freezer cases. The huge Buddhist Chinese population has resulted in pretty impressive mock meat of every type.
DeleteSociopaths need to the ability to charm otherwise they wouldn’t be successful
ReplyDeleteHow is this a blind? More like celebrity sighting.
ReplyDeleteCrustaceans are pretty gross, but they taste good!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was OJ's son that did that thing.
ReplyDelete@ Geeljire-"My favorite was "I'm a gay vegan and here's my gay boyfriend who loudly speaks about his thc suppositories, let me tell you why it was ok for me to move to NYC to live off food stamps and start a nonprofit to groom queer drama kids!"
ReplyDeleteFucking priceless!!
mocha colored tho LMAO
ReplyDeleteHey, sanctimonious morons who think people who eat 'cockroaches of the sea' are disgusting: your primitive simple-mindedness is only surpassed by your false sense of moral superiority. We don't give a shit what you think, in your nutrition-starved brains.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, we're glad you idiots live your lives eating like small rodents, more delicious shellfish for us.
+100!!
DeleteEarly 90's, OJ, Paramount premiere of The naked gun 2?
ReplyDeleteWeird. I met OJ twice and he was handsome and charming both times, too. Can I have a blind? ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou're not vegan if your shoes or your LV bag is leather.
ReplyDelete+1 Glue, why can't people just leave the lobsters alone! Every time I see a tank I think about taking a hammer and freeing them.
ReplyDeleteSummary:
ReplyDeleteVegan realizes her lifestyle is a joke to everyone else, craves protein shake from red-blooded murderer at bar. The End.
Chancellor Gowron deserved what he got for betraying the Klingon empire, the blood wine flowed the day murtah and warf defeated the dominion.
ReplyDeletehttps://i.imgur.com/SdIGDLT.jpg
ReplyDeleteYes but he defended Kirk and Bones at trial.
ReplyDeleteDid OJ call any lobsters a whore when he was breaking them open? That would have been a sign.
ReplyDeleteFun fact about lobsters: In early colonial times, they were considered undesirable food, so they were fed to prisoners.
ReplyDeleteFor you sensitive vegans: Every bit of topsoil in the world has passed through the bowels of at least one earthworm. Yes, all your food is grown in worm shit.
Vegans' brains shrink.
ReplyDeleteDamn we had 2 BIs about OJ turning the neighborhood into a crime scene within a month! Lots of people reading here knew the POS personally I see. Did you know Kris Jenner and Robert Kartrashian too?
ReplyDelete1. OJ
ReplyDelete2. Take a shot every time you read "shrimp" in this blind...
Came for comments about OJ, left after food fight between vegans and the rest of us. I like steamed clams with garlic butter.
ReplyDeleteNot normally a Geeljire fan, but...yeah. sort of. We deserve to be mocked at times.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that defensive people assume that vegans use any form of leather or fur?
ReplyDeleteAlthough it is hilarious that some people get so offended by people not eating meat that they stoop to making ignorant sexual assumptions about them.
ReplyDeleteI don't force vegetarianism on anyone, though reading about the slaughtering methods is what got me to quit meat completely, and eventually, seafood. I will continue to point out how wretched, inhumane, selfish and disgusting the fur industry is, though.
"Every bit of topsoil in the world has passed through the bowels of at least one earthworm. Yes, all your food is grown in worm shit."
ReplyDeleteAnd every piece of fruit or salad you eat was fertilized with animal shit. Then the product was cooked/washed or otherwise sterilized. So what's your point, pointless?
Here is a blind about a vegan and a murderer. Cue outrage towards the vegan
ReplyDeleteHaha @Tea. Good one! I like InsiderHer blinds and look forward to more of them.
ReplyDelete“I bring my own cutlery.”
ReplyDeleteOh yeah? Well if God didn't want us to eat animals, why did she make them so yummy?
ReplyDeleteLOL. @tea.
ReplyDeleteCows eat grass, we eat cows. It's all pretty simple.
ReplyDelete@Tea is not wrong. I’ll be laughing at this all day.
ReplyDeleteThis person and these posts - BULLSHIT!!
ReplyDeleteNobody passes up free shrimp and lobster.
Tricia got it as usual me thinks. OJ was a hunk back then and just watching him play football and on tv and commercials he seemed so nice and down to earth and back then he WAS a huge football star. Maybe he was all that beneath the alleged drug rages or maybe he had dual personality stuff all along like many people or rage and jealousy issues..who knows. Just sad waste of so many lives including his own.
ReplyDeleteI hate the over use of the word 'epic' and I hate vegans. I know it's the 'in' thing but you're all sheep. It's not original nor is it clever. I would've shoved the shrimp you mentioned about 10x down your throat!
ReplyDelete@Amy
DeleteHate seems a little strong for non-militant vegans. Why not just enjoy the surplus of animal products?*
I’d be avoiding the shrimp just because I don’t like shrimp. :)
*Not Vegan, myself, but I’ve loved ones who are. It seems a bit rigid for me, what with enjoying the occasional cheese and beef, but as long as they’re happy and not shoving broccoli down anyone’s throat, what’s the harm?
**Now, militant meat eaters AND non-meat eaters are both equally unwelcome at my table unless they can contain themselves.
Nature Girl ... OJ was a football hero, not any other kind of hero, and he did a lot of coke and more coke and more coke and got married to a coked-up sleazoid who stung him for $24,000 a MONTH in alimony/child support which undoubtedly preyed on his coked-out mind.
ReplyDeleteIs coke vegan?
DeleteThose lot premiere parties/after parties were pretty epic. Blind states it was the early 90s, certainly it goes on to state "LESS THAN A YEAR LATER, it became clear that a smiling pretty face means nothing. That a murderous heart can beat beneath a beautiful exterior."
ReplyDeleteThus, presuming it's obviously a reference to the Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman murders at the hands of the Juice, which took place on June 12th 1994, the premiere party was for a Paramount film that released no earlier than summer 1993. Naked Gun 2 & 1/2 was in '91. Based on the summer-winter '93 list of releases, I am narrowing the choices down to the following summer and winter blockbusters/big budget/performed well:
The Firm
Addams Family Values
Wayne's World 2
Probably The Firm, given the June 30th 1993 release would just fit within the "less than a year" comment. I believe it was the first Grisham adaptation, with Tommy boy Cruise in the lead.
Interestingly enough, Naked Gun 33 & 1/3 released in March of 1994. A few months later, the Juice would indeed be Loose, and his ex wife and the unluckiest man of 1994 would be murdered by his hands.
OJ has nothing on Michael Dorn.
ReplyDeleteYou made m lol, Brayson87, and I'm not even drunk. Yet.
ReplyDeleteBlogger Brayson87 said...
Summary:
Vegan realizes her lifestyle is a joke to everyone else, craves protein shake from red-blooded murderer at bar. The End.
I'll take Charles Nelson Reilly to steal.
ReplyDeleteDid he have the gloves on to handle the shrimp?
ReplyDelete"Did I mention I was vegan?"
ReplyDelete"Do you know how much better it is to be vegan?"
"Are you woke/vegan yet?"
"Why does everyone hate us...?"
“This post incidentally mentions Vegan problems... hey did I tell you I eat meat?”
Delete“Mmm. Bacon. We’re meant to eat meat! Never mind those pesky molars and finicky digestive systems which require meat to be cooked. And forget about stupid things like colon cancer. Gotta die of something amirite?”
“Have you given up that stupid pretentious Vegan stuff yet?”
“Vegans are so preachy”
As neither a flag waving meat eater nor a Vegan, I really don’t understand why both groups can’t just live and let live, especially since in this thread, I only see the meat eaters talking about more than their own personal preferences.
@unknown
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty, depends on how it’s cut and processed. Just like sugar.