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Favorite condiment.
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Say what you want about deaf people….
ReplyDeleteBecause you’ll never know they’re making fun of you with all their friends after reading your lips. :)
DeleteI’m deaf. That expert lip reading stuff is bullshit. But we are making fun of you. Half the hearing people are performing for the other half. Plug up your ears and people watch sometime.
DeleteHey, @Normal! You’re not wrong about the performances.
DeleteI’m Deaf too and while lip reading is nothing like they make it out in the movies, and we’re not all lip-readers, I’m pretty good. I catch the occasional asshole hearing person comment when they’re not smart enough to turn their back before speaking.
And then, yes, our hands make fun of y’all all day long.
When I started to go deaf as a teen I realized 2 things:
Delete1) the extreme incongruency between what people say and how people say it
2) half the people perform for the other half
In a strange way it was liberating. Because I didn’t have to participate with the bullshit anymore. Like God gave me a get out of jail free card.
I also have plenty of cash. No woman wants to date or marry a deaf man so I’m off the hook for the dating game. I pretty much do whatever I want and spend my money on whatever I want.
@Normal You’d be surprised how many women would be into marrying a d/Deaf person (not just within Deaf culture either. My wife is Hearing.) but if you’re happiest single and with cash, you do you and live your best life, man.
DeleteI’m getting better with the freedom of not needing to participate. It’s one of those socialization things when you’re raised in this society as a girl, which is prob why my lip reading is as good as it is now that I think of it. But the more I realize I don’t HAVE to make up for not being able to hear, the more free in life I feel.
Let the hearing people put on their fronts with each other and let them be the ones embarrassed when they just expect the rest of the world to understand them as easily as they do. And lest I seem completely anti-social* my wife could tell you all the times I let her go on and on and ON only to tell her I caught none of it because it was too fast/not facing me. :) Fortunately, she has a sense of humor and appreciation for my vaguely anti-social brand of sarcasm.
*An anti social Deaf punk on the Autism spectrum? NEVER!
Hottest make out session ever was with someone who was hearing impaired, damn I wish I would have slept with him. Have always wondered what he would have been like. My gosh!!!
DeleteGarlic Salt..
ReplyDeleteHot sauce...any kind
ReplyDelete+1 any and all
DeleteCHEESE
ReplyDeletePass the Grey Poupon, please:))
ReplyDeleteUltra Ribbed Trojans
ReplyDeleteOh wait...
Siracha Sauce the hotter the better.
ranch
ReplyDeleteSriracha.
ReplyDeleteMustard - there are more exciting condiments, sure, but mustard is axreal workhorse
ReplyDeleteRed Wine Vinegar
ReplyDeleteBacon
ReplyDeleteFormer CNN Anchor Candy Crowley. Salty and spicy.
ReplyDeleteMarmite !
ReplyDeleteIn general ketchup, but with chicken tenders or french fries definitely ken's steak house honey mustard, it's delicious.
ReplyDeleteMayonnaise, love the stuff. I've been known to gross people out when I put it on hot dogs.
ReplyDeleteTrojan flavored Tic-Tacs.
ReplyDeleteMustard
ReplyDeleteBilly Bee honey mustard or Grace Scotch Bonnet hot sauce
ReplyDeleteHot sauce
ReplyDeleteHeinz 57, slightly watered down for economical reasons
ReplyDeleteCholula or mayonnaise...can't choose.
ReplyDeleteIs guacamole a condiment?
ReplyDelete@Ddonna
DeleteIt sure is!
Does Ketchup and Mustard count as one?
ReplyDeleteThat's my favorite condiment.
Kind of like mini BBQ Sauce.
Dijon get with it fools
ReplyDeleteSoy sauce of most any kind (like tamari) Especially love ponzu (Japanese soy sauce with citrus, could be yuzu/grapefruit or lemon or lime)
ReplyDeleteAlso like Huy Fong Chili Garlic sauce (they also make Sriracha but Chili Garlic is less sugary than Sriracha)
Then there's Cholula Chili Lime
Worcestershire sauce
A-1
Ranch dressing
For a seasoning I like Cavender's Greek but make my own because there's MSG in Cavender's
@VDO I’m with you on the HF Chili Garlic. It also has more of a ginger note to it than the sriracha. It’s a staple in my fridge.
DeleteHeinz Ketchup
ReplyDeleteAtomic horseradish
ReplyDeletemustard
ReplyDeleteSiracha ketchup
ReplyDeletePickapeppa Spicy Mango sauce....it enlivens everything it touches.
ReplyDeleteNever had the mango, gotta try it!
DeleteSalt
ReplyDeleteKetchup when indicated
Pickles and mustard.
ReplyDeleteI legitimately cannot choose just one. I’m a condiment fiend, but it has to be the right condiment for the dish.
ReplyDeleteThough I do get grumpy when I’m doing something that requires mayo and there’s no Kewpie brand to be found. Japanese mayo is the best next to homemade.
Okay... staple must have at all times condiments:
DeleteKewpie mayo
Lee Kum Kee soy sauce
Huy Fong Chili Garlic
Trader Joe’s Sriracha
Trader Joe’s cultured salted butter
Heinz Fruity
Heinz Simple ketchup (all natural)
Grey poupon Dijon
Malt vinegar
Claussen sauerkraut
Claussen dill pickles
Gold label balsamic
Marmite
Whole peppercorns
Thyme
French grey sea salt
Sesame oil
Bagna cauda
Kurogoma and salt
Pretty sure I’m forgetting some, but that’s a good selection of the stuff I make sure never to run out of.
I once dated a guy who didn't dip(use condiments). It was awesome going out to dinner, all the little sauce could sit by me! I didn't have to reach, never needed extra, it was great! .....but I couldn't respect him. I don't trust a man who eats everything dry. It's just not right. Got rid of him.
Delete@han have you ever had Milwaukee brand midget baby dills? Awesome!
Delete@Court I will now if I can find them anywhere! Refrigerated or in the middle aisles?
DeleteCoconut aminos sauce
ReplyDeleteDamn who knew today was the day Candy Crowley was going to get all non-PC on us.
ReplyDelete@Brayson it’s not a PC thing. It’s just a thing. 🤷♀️ We’ve always known Hearing people take advantage. And like any other minority culture, we’re going to make fun while the sun shines.*
Delete*Or, y’know, when someone turns on a light. 🥁
Hellman's mayo, A-1 Steak Sauce.
ReplyDeletePico de gallo, wasabi, boston duck sauce
ReplyDeleteI go through vats of red Tabasco and my new fav but seldom used is jalapeño ketchup.
ReplyDeleteI grew tobasco peppers last summer, dried them and grinded with a bit of salt into powder. Anytime I want fresh tobasco I add a few drops of vinigar. The powder is awesome on so many things! I did the same with jalapenos, Chili's, all sorts of peppers. Awesome for flavored popcorn, frenshfries, on burgers!
Delete@Court Have you tried it on fresh mango, melon, or cucumbers? It’s a staple out here (and in all of Mexico of course.) Most refreshing snack ever on a hot day.
DeleteFrank's got sauce
ReplyDeleteHot home made red Salsa . Food 4vless makes a good one. And regular mustard.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of a question is that? First of all, what exactly am I eating? I mean, I love mayo but I'm not likely to put it on a burrito. There are different condiments for different situations, Enty, and one is no better than another except for context.
ReplyDeleteThousand island.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge me.
No Tarragon? I have to try the Huy Fong Chili Garlic Sauce.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s red and goes Huh? Huh? Huh? Santa Claus when the elves hide his hearing aids.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete🤦♀️👏👏👏
DeleteI love horseradish sauce. And soicy mustard. And wasabi
ReplyDeleteKimchi, valentina, sriracha, honey mustard, salsa and guacamole.
ReplyDeleteAlso chow chow, kimchi and muffaletta
ReplyDelete🌶
ReplyDelete