Blind Item #15
The guy just got done talking about how he and his A+ list wife are working through things that happened in the past yet he hooked up with someone after a recent birthday party.
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Jay-z
ReplyDeleteJay Z only cheats because he feels bad about himself yo
ReplyDeleteJay Z at Blue Ivy's birthday party...nice job, dad.
ReplyDeleteI swear all these celebrities must go commando under tear-away pants and skirts at all times since they do nothing but bone each other wherever they go.
ReplyDeleteRight?! And always horny, on the take. Man.
DeleteLOL Truth though!
DeleteSlid the panties right to the side
Delete- Jay Z
Drunk in love
Jay z must figure he gets a couple mulligans for what he said in the interview
ReplyDeleteHey Ernie, Just saw an article by a professional business writer named Harry McCracken. Don't know if he is a relation, but wouldn't you change your name from Harry if your last name was McCracken?
ReplyDelete@Someone Else - Hahaha! I can't imagine growing up being saddled with that name! My online monicker (thankfully!) is a nod toward a Bill Muuray character in Kingpin.
DeleteThere used to be an ob/gyn in Fairfax Virginia called Dr Harry Beaver. True.
DeleteIf your last name is McCracken change your first name to something normal like Phil.
DeleteMy Aunt dated a Harry Butz. Seriously.
Delete@Ernie & Someone - THIS is what is everything that is right about CDAN comments!
ReplyDelete@Dahling - I love it here! It's like family - I may not agree with (or even like) everyone on here, but I am grateful to belong!
DeleteKingpin is hilarious and underappreciated
ReplyDeleteThank you Dahlin. No disrespect to the journalist or professional bowler with a comb-over intended. But in today's online trolling culture one would risk quite a bit of mocking from less emotionally mature commenters as found on CDAN. Hence a name change would be prudent.
ReplyDeleteThey're working on their "arrangement"
ReplyDeleteI'm with you Ernie. I've only been on this site since last summer and just recently got the nerve to comment, but I am always amazed at how well-informed, intelligent and intuitive many of the posters here are. Even some of the crazies are surprisingly lucid and informative when they aren't on a trigger rant.
ReplyDeleteOne minute they are some nutter and the next they are like an old friend.
It's like the Island of Misfit Toys! Or one of the dive bars I used to frequent back in the day.
+100, @Someone Else!
DeleteI only do CDaN for the comments tbh. I admire the puzzle skills of our friends, and enjoy the goofy humor. I don't even like gossip, and don't know most of the celebs we discuss.
DeleteI wonder who the lucky guy was?
ReplyDeleteJay Z. They aren't after him for his looks, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteSecond use of "go commando" I've seen today, first time ever for me. Definition? Thanks in advance.
ReplyDelete@Normal, Too bad he wasn't best friends with an old co-worker of mine. Dick Hurt.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain there would be plenty of opportunities for jokes then.
@Doug,
ReplyDelete"Going commando" for a man means to not wear underwear.
@someone else. Ditto for women!
DeleteGoing commando= No undies=Quick access
ReplyDeleteThe term for we used for a lady sans panties is "going commanche".
ReplyDeleteHooked up with "someone"
ReplyDeleteWho maybe was a woman and maybe wasn't.
Probably clown sex! Giving Giggles the she-clown a balloon animal of his own. What, he's hit everything else.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up niggas, hey yo, I know you ain't talking 'bout me dog
ReplyDeleteYou, what?
("Fuck Jay-Z")
You been on my dick nigga, you love my style, nigga
("Fuck Jay-Z")
Fuck with your soul like ether
(Will) Teach you the king you know you
(Not) "God's son" across the belly
(Lose) I prove you lost already
Brace yourself for the main event
Y'all impatiently waiting
It's like an AIDS test, what's the results?
Not positive, who's the best? Pac, Nas and Big
Ain't no best, East, West, North, South, flossed out, greedy
I embrace y'all with napalm
Blows up, no guts, left chest, face gone
How could Nas be garbage?
Semi-autos at your cartilage
Burner at the side of your dome, come outta my throne
I got this, locked since '9-1
I am the truest, name a rapper that I ain't influenced
Gave y'all chapters but now I keep my eyes on the Judas
With Hawaiin Sophie fame, kept my name in his music
Check it
Fuck with your soul like ether
(Will) Teach you the king you know you
(Not) "God's son" across the belly
(Lose) I prove you lost already
Hey yo, pass me the weed, pour my ashes out on these niggas man (no doubt)
Hey , y'all fagots, y'all kneel and kiss the fuckin ring
Fuck with your soul like ether
(Will) Teach you the king you know you
(Not) "God's son" across the belly
(Lose) I prove you lost already
I've been fucked over, left for dead, dissed and forgotten
Luck ran out, they hoped that I'd be gone, stiff and rotten
Y'all just piss on me, shit on me, spit on my grave (uh)
Talk about me, laugh behind my back but in my face
Y'all some "well wishers, " friendly acting, envy hiding snakes
With your hands out for my money, man, how much can I take?
When these streets keep calling, heard it when I was sleep
That this Gay-Z and Cockafella Records wanted beef
Started cocking up my weapon, slowly loading up this ammo
To explode it on a camel, and his soldiers, I can handle
This for dolo and it's manuscript, just sound stupid
When KRS already made an album called Blueprint
First, Biggie's ya man, then you got the nerve to say that you better than Big
Dick sucking lips, whyn't you let the late, great veteran live
"God's son" across the belly, I prove you lost already
DeleteThe king is back, where my crown at?
(I'll, will) Ill Will rest in peace, let's do it niggas
Fuck with your soul like ether
(Will) Teach you the king you know you
(Not) "God's son" across the belly
(Lose) I prove you lost already
Y'all niggas deal with emotions like bitches
What's sad is I love you 'cause you're my brother
You traded your soul for riches
My child, I've watched you grow up to be famous
And now I smile like a proud dad, watching his only son that made it
You seem to be only concerned with dissing women
Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?
Well life is hard, hug me, don't reject me
Or make records to disrespect me, blatant or indirectly
In '88 you was getting chased through your building
Calling my crib and I ain't even give you my numbers
All I did was gave you a style for you to run with
Smiling in my face, glad to break bread with the god
Wearing Jaz chains, no tecs, no cash, no cars
No jail bars Jigga, no pies, no case
Just Hawaiian shirts, hanging with little Chase
You a fan, a phony, a fake, a pussy, a Stan
I still whip your ass, you thirty-six in a karate class
You Tae-bo hoe, trying to work it out, you tryna' get brolic?
Ask me if I'm trying to kick knowledge
Nah, I'm trying to kick the shit you need to learn though
That ether, that shit that make your soul burn slow
Is he Dame Diddy, Dame Daddy or Dame Dummy?
Oh, I get it, you Biggie and he's Puffy
Rockafeller died of AIDS, that was the end of his chapter
And that's the guy y'all chose to name your company after?
Put it together, I rock hoes, y'all rock fellas
And now y'all try to take my spot, fellas?
Philly's hot rock fellas, put you in a dry spot, fellas
In a pine box with nine shots from my glock, fellas
Foxy got you hot 'cause you kept your face in her puss
What you think, you getting girls now 'cause of your looks?
Ne-gro please
You no mustache having, with whiskers like a rat
Compared to Beans you wack
And your man stabbed Un and made you take the blame
You ass, went from Jaz to hanging with Caine, to Herb, to Big
And, Eminem murdered you on your own shit
You a dick-riding fagot, you love the attention
Queens niggas run you niggas, ask Russell Simmons
Ha, R-O-C get gunned up and clapped quick
J.J. Evans get gunned up and clapped quick
Your whole damn record label gunned up and clapped quick
Shaun Carter to Jay-Z, damn you on Jaz dick
So little shorty's getting gunned up and clapped quick
How much of Biggie's rhymes is goin' come out your fat lips?
Wanted to be on every last one of my classics
You pop shit, apologize, nigga, just ask Kiss
Songwriters: Dave Allen / Andrew Gill / Jon King / Hugo H. Burnham
Ether lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
+1 Nas
Delete@Brayson, I have mixed feelings about clown sex. Can't quite put a pin on it, but never sure if one should be terrified, amused or aroused.
ReplyDeleteThanks to all for the commando definition !
ReplyDelete@Someone Else that's your problem right there. You're trying to put pins on things when you should be JUGGLING those pins during clown sex.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDo we really need a Jay-Zzzzzz/Beyawncé blind every single fucking day?!
ReplyDelete@Doug, first time I heard commando being used this way was on an episode of Friends. It was used before,but they brought it to the masses.
ReplyDeletewhen will gee shut the fuck up
ReplyDeleteWhen will people keep trying to shut me up?
DeleteNot that I agree, but isn't Beyonce usually referred to as "permanent A +"?
ReplyDelete@sharperteeth, I got 99 problems, but a bowling pin aint one.
ReplyDeleteI grew up with a Zachary McKracken ... Zak McKrack we called him. Great baseball name lol
ReplyDeleteOpen marriage?
ReplyDeleteThe commando/commanche banter reminded me of a time honored tradition my group of girlfriends had back in the day called “NPT” or No Panties Thursday...so very Samantha from SATC😂 So, go make like a celebrity tomorrow and celebrate that it’s Thursday!
ReplyDeleteI am beginning to think all the "good" people are actually "friendly" and the asshats are actually the good people.
ReplyDeleteDr. Peter Beeter....very smart guy...parents had a sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteIf Bey hasn’t left him by now she ain’t gonna leave. Moral hazard, baby.
ReplyDeleteI am loving the unfortunate names & the Nas lyrics. I think Friends is the origin of the expression "going commando;" Joey says "I don't wanna go commando in another man's fatigues" as a figure of speech for wearing a rented tux without underwear, and I feel like I remember Marta & whoever the show creators taking credit in the DVD commentary of the episode (though as creators of white Living Single they are obviously not adverse to taking credit for others ideas).
ReplyDeleteDefinition of Commando? My daily routine.
ReplyDeleteKeith URban did an interview not long ago about him and Nicole and the past
ReplyDelete