Geez, sorry to hear that. But yeah I’ve got some pretty narrow-minded friends too (ironically they were rumoured to be lesbian couple—LOL). Now they’re miserably unhappily married and try to get everyone to join in their miserable misery. 🌈
@filmfanb - I thought people have Gaydar. If Gaydar is real then these "friends" were fine with you as long as you were in the closet. You're better off.
Yes all of them. A few of my oldest friends I started playing with in 3yr old preschool we have been through everything together in life my other friends all came to my school in 1st grade we are still a solid team, more like family at this point. Different careers, some have babies some don't, we can bicker and have still have fun and confide in eachother.
I try really hard to stay connected with old friends, but then you “grow out of them” you know? Not in a snobby way but you just end up talking about the school days and the same mean girls (STILL) and it’s like nothing’s changed, just that we’re older and the hangouts become monotonous and you don’t even share the same values. I literally only have ONE friend from school who in addition to being able to genuinely be happy for me (or doesn’t role their eyes when I get excited talking about acting) AND doesn’t seem to be using me for their own gain/benefit somehow. So I try not to bother her very often/nag her, I only talk to her when she invites me first because I’m afraid of losing her as a friend if she gets fed up by me!
No wonder you malign strangers exposing pedophiles on the internet as "racist, and possibly pedos themselves" and post #MeToo from relatively pricey Jakarta hotel rooms (if it is in fact you). Unstable childhood.
Wow. Still salty you had to find out about serious career secret girlfriend through Celebitchy like everyone else?! Naw... I’m just messing with you. I was catfished.
I posted a photo from a “relatively pricey” hotel room that I paid for myself with money I made through translation work (not stealing from any famous “friend” like a proper coat-trail rider and leech). And I was staying at that hotel during tech week and a play’s run so I would never be late for a show. BUT of course your dirty pedo-fetishising mind thought it was something gross.
Oh. And don’t bother deleting those comments where you called Meghan Markel a racial slur, Geeljire. I took screenshots.
PS: If Disney/Marvel hired you to score “Doctor Strange 2”, would you finally stop talking shit about them?
Answer me, since you didn't. Why is it not racist when David Geffen Records publishes the song "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in which the 'slur' mulatto is repeated several times in the chorus BUT Calling the mulatto yacht princess mulatto has some how made me a pedo-racist? Exposing wealthy Hollywood pedophiles makes me a pedo?
Please.
Jakarta is a Muslim city so why are you with Iblis? https://quran.com/107
Hey, I’m not the one who’s changing the topic. Or réponding with racial slurs and Islamophobia. You are (and between you and me, I’m not the one who’s got him as a ‘sugar daddy’—I NEVER TOOK ANYTHING from him... And I making an honest living).
And you’re the one acting like you can’t seem to wrap your head around a single woman of colour being able to afford expensive things before a man puts a ring on it—and I bet you’d make an EXCELLENT matchmaker for your “friends”, right? 💍💸
And back to your first commment: Therein lies the difference between you and me. I may have had an unstable childhood, but I’d never used that as an excuse to behave badly as an adult. And I’m not self-entitled enough to think anyone who had nothing to do with my bad childhood owe me anything, nor do I think it gives me the right to “take” from those luckier than I am.
Also? Feel free to dox me all you want. I have nothing to be ashamed of and a lot to be proud of, I just don’t like the idea of self-promotion. So if you’d like to do me the favour, s’il vous plaît.
Former Army Brat so nope. We moved too often for me to keep up ties to anyone prior to my college years (other than extended family & they pretty much trashed those when my late father got dementia by never calling, writing, offering to visit, etc).
Yes! We have been BFFs for 26 years..since 4th grade. I moved 10 hours away several years ago and we still make time to talk whether thru text or FB messenger. She is having her first baby and it is .killing. me that I cannit be there!!
Unfortunately, no. But she was better off, I was a wreck from a wicked crazy family and on a self destructive trajectory. Someday I will find her and apologize for being a douchenozzle.
@Scandi: always tough to make those bonds when moving as a kid, always the "new kid". Which is why so many loners and "new kids" seek solace in their art/music. @Normal: I'd think the best thing about being a military brat kid is that many of the others all know that feeling too. (just a guess on my part). @KnoWon: sorry to hear that, hope your good memories can assuage your loss.
My "best friend" was a sibling of mine. We were like best friends and partners in crime as kids. Then we grow up and go thru periods of not speaking for months and you start to reflect and really miss having someone you trust and who thinks like you. Then we're around each other for a holiday or something and it is like "Uggh, WHY did I miss you again?". Guess that's a sibling thing.
Haha. It is weird. Being the “new kid” gets old pretty fast. You’re lucky your BFF is a sibling (if feel like you get to be more reckless with siblings and never go through the “OMG OMG what if I offend them?” phase and walking on eggshells because no matter what you do and no matter how estranged you get, you’ll just keep seeing each other because of the blood connection.
Thanks to Facebook I have been able to get I to contact with a lot of my friends from elementary school. I see who was my best friend when she comes home to visit it she lives across country and her parents have now retired and moved out of state so it's not very often. I also see many of my other school friends a few times a year when they.come over for parties. And yes I'm talking gradeschool. I started kindergarten in Sept. 1975.
Oldest friend is from 1962 when we were ten years old. Keep in touch via Facebook. Her belief system is totally opposite mine but we have the common bond of those early years and memories. I just choose to ignore her posts.
I keep in touch with all my elementary/high school/college/new friends as a adult.Friendship with me is lifelong.I got 'your back'as long as they have mine:)
@Himmmm @Scandi Sanskrit @Normal. Yes indeed. & I are 'third culture kids' i.e. your parents come from 1 or 2 cultures, move someplace else & when they have offspring, the child(ren) is (are) of a 'third culture' Books about TCKs may help, especially for military brats is the book Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress by Mary Edwards Wertsch (there's a hardback, a newer paperback & a Kindle edition)
Himmmm you are absolutely right that there are a very very high percentage of performers & artists who were TCKs (military brats, missionary kids, super mobile families including child performers). You can keep doing & learning your art or music whereas it's harder to keep up friendship & extended family ties (it's the easiest its ever been with the Internet & technology but it's still not the same as physically being there time & time again)
Also as an only I don't relate to the sibling stuff but I've found books on birth order insightful (especially for understanding my late parents, a first born father & middle child mother). Maybe that will help you with your sibling.
Such an interesting question. It's been on my mind quite a bit lately...friendship, and how it changes as we age. I'm still friends with lots of my friends from grade school on up. But in the last few years, I find myself cutting lots of them off. One by one. Some of the best, most supportive, wonderful friends have grown into these bitter, selfish adults. It's really quite depressing. I think "what the hell happened to you" it's hard to watch, or except. Another hard thing is watching people parent, and seeing just not think? Think about how their actions/inactions affect their children. Or just think about why your child might behave the way they do. We were kids once, have you completely forgotten everything? Have you lost your damn mind?
I had a friend who would brag that she never wanted to marry, would fund the educations of foster kids as a “lifelong act of charity” instead of having her own biological children, said she wanted to be a career woman forever.
One day her father merely offhandedly asked whether she had a boyfriend and like 2 months later she got married... All that “I’ve got such a strong character” big talk held up to nothing.
So we keep in touch and I sleepover at her place so I can drive her to a mutual friend’s (a 2nd classmate) wedding and she is FUCKING MISERABLE as a SAHM (nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but you could tell she hated it). And what’s sad is she seems to be fed up with her son, mentally/verbally abused the poor thing (he was only 2–3 years old) and he’d just cry... And I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want her to give me the, “don’t tell me how to parent MY child” talk.
In addition, she’s berating me for still engaging in activities that she’s “totally over” (because it was a “rite of passage” thing girls at my school do—but I’m a late-bloomer, and only just started) and so she starts shaming me about it.
Anyway, she has a bestie (a 2nd friend who went to school with us) who once said, “I just want children and I don’t have to love the father of my child, and I’d ditch him in a heartbeat as soon as I get the offspring I’ve always wanted.”
I would never set any male friend I cared about with this 2nd friend, but my 1st friend does just that (sets her up with this unassuming guy from her hometown) because she can’t stand to be the “only married one” (and I don’t feel bad about being single).
At the 2nd friend’s wedding, she kept saying, “aren’t you jealous of her? Don’t you want that too?” I was more offended she didn’t think I’d simply BE HAPPY FOR HER instead of “envious”?
And there’s something about parenthood that turns people into self-important entitled MONSTERS. She took that baby to the wedding and let it scream during the vows (even the bride’s mother looked really upset/disappointed about it). Nobody would’ve judged her for hiring a nanny. And she could afford it, FFS. I’ve seen nannies genuinely more caring toward children than that bitch to her own son.
Cut her off. Still feel terrible I didn’t say anything when she berated her toddler son.
August 21 1978, first day of 7th grade, I met Michelle in History class. We've been best friends ever since. Still talk every day. She's the sibling I never had. Ride or die!
Yup I still talk to both! Bekah and Jessica, my two ride or die bitches!!
ReplyDeleteI’m so mad at Wolfe.
ReplyDeleteWe went to couple counseling. The doctor asked him to name my favorite flower.
He said “Self-rising”
We’re friends on Facebook and “like” pics of each other’s kids. That’s the extent of it.
ReplyDeleteOccasionally, extremely occasionally.
ReplyDeleteNO.
ReplyDeleteTime & geography changes people.
Nope, most stopped talking to me when I came out.
ReplyDeleteGeez, sorry to hear that. But yeah I’ve got some pretty narrow-minded friends too (ironically they were rumoured to be lesbian couple—LOL). Now they’re miserably unhappily married and try to get everyone to join in their miserable misery. 🌈
Delete@filmfanb - I thought people have Gaydar. If Gaydar is real then these "friends" were fine with you as long as you were in the closet. You're better off.
DeleteYes all of them. A few of my oldest friends I started playing with in 3yr old preschool we have been through everything together in life my other friends all came to my school in 1st grade we are still a solid team, more like family at this point. Different careers, some have babies some don't, we can bicker and have still have fun and confide in eachother.
ReplyDeleteJeez Enty buddy you kidding...?
ReplyDeleteYep, still friends after over 30 years. Best man in his wedding (I eloped), godfathers to each other's kids. Basically a sibling.
ReplyDeleteNo? I don’t know where any of them are anymore.
ReplyDeleteI try really hard to stay connected with old friends, but then you “grow out of them” you know? Not in a snobby way but you just end up talking about the school days and the same mean girls (STILL) and it’s like nothing’s changed, just that we’re older and the hangouts become monotonous and you don’t even share the same values. I literally only have ONE friend from school who in addition to being able to genuinely be happy for me (or doesn’t role their eyes when I get excited talking about acting) AND doesn’t seem to be using me for their own gain/benefit somehow. So I try not to bother her very often/nag her, I only talk to her when she invites me first because I’m afraid of losing her as a friend if she gets fed up by me!
OH. Now I remember why I didn’t have any real best friends in primary school: I moved around a lot. Moved continents/cities 3 times between Grade 1–6.
DeleteNo wonder you malign strangers exposing pedophiles on the internet as "racist, and possibly pedos themselves" and post #MeToo from relatively pricey Jakarta hotel rooms (if it is in fact you).
DeleteUnstable childhood.
Wow. Still salty you had to find out about serious career secret girlfriend through Celebitchy like everyone else?! Naw... I’m just messing with you. I was catfished.
DeleteI posted a photo from a “relatively pricey” hotel room that I paid for myself with money I made through translation work (not stealing from any famous “friend” like a proper coat-trail rider and leech). And I was staying at that hotel during tech week and a play’s run so I would never be late for a show. BUT of course your dirty pedo-fetishising mind thought it was something gross.
Oh. And don’t bother deleting those comments where you called Meghan Markel a racial slur, Geeljire. I took screenshots.
PS: If Disney/Marvel hired you to score “Doctor Strange 2”, would you finally stop talking shit about them?
Answer me, since you didn't.
DeleteWhy is it not racist when David Geffen Records publishes the song "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in which the 'slur' mulatto is repeated several times in the chorus
BUT
Calling the mulatto yacht princess mulatto has some how made me a pedo-racist? Exposing wealthy Hollywood pedophiles makes me a pedo?
Please.
Jakarta is a Muslim city so why are you with Iblis?
https://quran.com/107
Hey, I’m not the one who’s changing the topic. Or réponding with racial slurs and Islamophobia. You are (and between you and me, I’m not the one who’s got him as a ‘sugar daddy’—I NEVER TOOK ANYTHING from him... And I making an honest living).
DeleteAnd you’re the one acting like you can’t seem to wrap your head around a single woman of colour being able to afford expensive things before a man puts a ring on it—and I bet you’d make an EXCELLENT matchmaker for your “friends”, right? 💍💸
And back to your first commment: Therein lies the difference between you and me. I may have had an unstable childhood, but I’d never used that as an excuse to behave badly as an adult. And I’m not self-entitled enough to think anyone who had nothing to do with my bad childhood owe me anything, nor do I think it gives me the right to “take” from those luckier than I am.
Also? Feel free to dox me all you want. I have nothing to be ashamed of and a lot to be proud of, I just don’t like the idea of self-promotion. So if you’d like to do me the favour, s’il vous plaît.
I only -occasionally- talk to her mom.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteEven worse you guys: he's a RUSSIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
I most certainly do. And still get together at least once a year during the first weekend of March Madness.
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteHer name is Dawn.
In 3rd grade,
we decided to create our own
CLUB/GANG whatever you call it,
called "The Jean Jackets."
Guess Jeans were popular in Michigan in 1987.
I don't think we ever did anything besides come up with a name
and wear Guess Jeans while giggling at the boys on the playground.
We also listened to Def Leppard.
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME was our favorite!
Still love that song. :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ4xwmZ6zi4
I did until we were in our early 30's. She got on drugs really bad and never recovered.
ReplyDeleteFormer Army Brat so nope. We moved too often for me to keep up ties to anyone prior to my college years (other than extended family & they pretty much trashed those when my late father got dementia by never calling, writing, offering to visit, etc).
ReplyDeleteMy college friends forward are now my family.
No. My dad was a command master chief. Not in the beginning. But he got promoted up really fast. We moved around a lot.
ReplyDeleteYou don’t run into too many liberals growing up on military installations. Just saying.
Oh yes. Our moms met when they checked themselves into the hospital early ( because of a pending blizzard) to give birth. Twins from different moms.
ReplyDelete79?
DeleteYes. From kindergarten! Been in constant touch for all those years.
ReplyDeleteNope.
ReplyDeleteNo. She started talking crap about me in high school. Forgave her after life altering event but grew apart. Nothing in common I suppose
ReplyDeleteYes! We have been BFFs for 26 years..since 4th grade. I moved 10 hours away several years ago and we still make time to talk whether thru text or FB messenger. She is having her first baby and it is .killing. me that I cannit be there!!
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, no. But she was better off, I was a wreck from a wicked crazy family and on a self destructive trajectory. Someday I will find her and apologize for being a douchenozzle.
ReplyDeleteNo. He died young.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that.
DeleteYep. In fact he was my friend before elementary school. I've known him longer than I've known my sister.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, but it’s weird now since she was killed by a drunk driver a few years back.
ReplyDeleteDoes being facebook friends count? ha.
ReplyDelete@Scandi: always tough to make those bonds when moving as a kid, always the "new kid". Which is why so many loners and "new kids" seek solace in their art/music.
ReplyDelete@Normal: I'd think the best thing about being a military brat kid is that many of the others all know that feeling too. (just a guess on my part).
@KnoWon: sorry to hear that, hope your good memories can assuage your loss.
My "best friend" was a sibling of mine. We were like best friends and partners in crime as kids. Then we grow up and go thru periods of not speaking for months and you start to reflect and really miss having someone you trust and who thinks like you. Then we're around each other for a holiday or something and it is like "Uggh, WHY did I miss you again?". Guess that's a sibling thing.
Haha. It is weird. Being the “new kid” gets old pretty fast. You’re lucky your BFF is a sibling (if feel like you get to be more reckless with siblings and never go through the “OMG OMG what if I offend them?” phase and walking on eggshells because no matter what you do and no matter how estranged you get, you’ll just keep seeing each other because of the blood connection.
DeleteNo, unfortunately she was the victim of a murder/suicide. I keep in touch with my best friend from high school & am tight with my college besties.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry to hear that. That’s intense.
DeleteThanks to Facebook I have been able to get I to contact with a lot of my friends from elementary school. I see who was my best friend when she comes home to visit it she lives across country and her parents have now retired and moved out of state so it's not very often. I also see many of my other school friends a few times a year when they.come over for parties. And yes I'm talking gradeschool. I started kindergarten in Sept. 1975.
ReplyDeleteNo. We reconnected on FB but then I deleted my account.
ReplyDeleteNo!
ReplyDeleteI'm a grown up.
I moved away for a reason.
Massachusetts is a nice place to visit. But, never, ever moving back there.
Too cold in the winter, too hot & humid in the summer.
Yes. We see each other often. Actually, she drove over yesterday. We have been best friends since we were 5 years old and we are nearly 60 now.
ReplyDeleteYes- my friend and I met in 3rd grade and we have stayed friends for decades. Our friendship is even strong now- so many nice memories.
ReplyDeleteOldest friend is from 1962 when we were ten years old. Keep in touch via Facebook. Her belief system is totally opposite mine but we have the common bond of those early years and memories. I just choose to ignore her posts.
ReplyDeleteI keep in touch with all my elementary/high school/college/new friends as a adult.Friendship with me is lifelong.I got 'your back'as long as they have mine:)
ReplyDeleteOh & I've never been on FB & never will
Delete@Himmmm @Scandi Sanskrit @Normal. Yes indeed. & I are 'third culture kids' i.e. your parents come from 1 or 2 cultures, move someplace else & when they have offspring, the child(ren) is (are) of a 'third culture' Books about TCKs may help, especially for military brats is the book Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress by Mary Edwards Wertsch (there's a hardback, a newer paperback & a Kindle edition)
ReplyDeleteHimmmm you are absolutely right that there are a very very high percentage of performers & artists who were TCKs (military brats, missionary kids, super mobile families including child performers). You can keep doing & learning your art or music whereas it's harder to keep up friendship & extended family ties (it's the easiest its ever been with the Internet & technology but it's still not the same as physically being there time & time again)
Also as an only I don't relate to the sibling stuff but I've found books on birth order insightful (especially for understanding my late parents, a first born father & middle child mother). Maybe that will help you with your sibling.
*TCK high-fiiiive!* 🙌🏼
DeleteGod no. She's way too weird for me anymore, but I wish her well.
ReplyDeleteBAHAHAHHAHAHAH 😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteBest fucking comment on this thread.
Probably how many of my friends feel about me too. 😔
Absolutely, until breast cancer took her WAY too young
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry to hear that.
DeleteUnfortunately, no. She works so much her own sister rarely sees her. The other friend died of leukemia when we were 18.
ReplyDeleteSorry you lost your friend that way. I hope the busy one comes around.
DeleteSuch an interesting question. It's been on my mind quite a bit lately...friendship, and how it changes as we age. I'm still friends with lots of my friends from grade school on up. But in the last few years, I find myself cutting lots of them off. One by one. Some of the best, most supportive, wonderful friends have grown into these bitter, selfish adults. It's really quite depressing. I think "what the hell happened to you" it's hard to watch, or except. Another hard thing is watching people parent, and seeing just not think? Think about how their actions/inactions affect their children. Or just think about why your child might behave the way they do. We were kids once, have you completely forgotten everything? Have you lost your damn mind?
ReplyDelete+1
DeleteI had a friend who would brag that she never wanted to marry, would fund the educations of foster kids as a “lifelong act of charity” instead of having her own biological children, said she wanted to be a career woman forever.
One day her father merely offhandedly asked whether she had a boyfriend and like 2 months later she got married... All that “I’ve got such a strong character” big talk held up to nothing.
So we keep in touch and I sleepover at her place so I can drive her to a mutual friend’s (a 2nd classmate) wedding and she is FUCKING MISERABLE as a SAHM (nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but you could tell she hated it). And what’s sad is she seems to be fed up with her son, mentally/verbally abused the poor thing (he was only 2–3 years old) and he’d just cry... And I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want her to give me the, “don’t tell me how to parent MY child” talk.
In addition, she’s berating me for still engaging in activities that she’s “totally over” (because it was a “rite of passage” thing girls at my school do—but I’m a late-bloomer, and only just started) and so she starts shaming me about it.
Anyway, she has a bestie (a 2nd friend who went to school with us) who once said, “I just want children and I don’t have to love the father of my child, and I’d ditch him in a heartbeat as soon as I get the offspring I’ve always wanted.”
I would never set any male friend I cared about with this 2nd friend, but my 1st friend does just that (sets her up with this unassuming guy from her hometown) because she can’t stand to be the “only married one” (and I don’t feel bad about being single).
At the 2nd friend’s wedding, she kept saying, “aren’t you jealous of her? Don’t you want that too?” I was more offended she didn’t think I’d simply BE HAPPY FOR HER instead of “envious”?
And there’s something about parenthood that turns people into self-important entitled MONSTERS. She took that baby to the wedding and let it scream during the vows (even the bride’s mother looked really upset/disappointed about it). Nobody would’ve judged her for hiring a nanny. And she could afford it, FFS. I’ve seen nannies genuinely more caring toward children than that bitch to her own son.
Cut her off. Still feel terrible I didn’t say anything when she berated her toddler son.
August 21 1978, first day of 7th grade, I met Michelle in History class.
ReplyDeleteWe've been best friends ever since. Still talk every day. She's the sibling I never had. Ride or die!
No.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the past is left in the past for a reason. And, TBTH, I was a real AH up until my mid twenties (when I got sober).
Yes, but only a couple of times a year.
ReplyDeleteNope. My best friend from that time dumped me when she discovered boys.
ReplyDelete