As many of you may know, Dolores O'Riordan of the Cranberries died in a London hotel room today. This hurts me on so many levels, not least because she was an amazing woman, intrepid talent, fearless artist, and incomparable mother and friend. I have known her for many, many years and she was tough as nails and fiercely loyal. The kind of person we need more of these days. I could share an entire book about the antics, fun, and crazy things I experienced with this beautiful Irish midget - my Shamrock (her preferred nickname out of dozens we traded over the years). I have an entire disc of photos of her that show her beautiful happiness from ages ago. Right now however, she leaves behind a family that is stricken and shocked. "Do" had suffered from some personal problems for many years, and had struggled against demons inside herself each day. She beat those back for years. We spent many nights talking right up until sunrise about struggles and strength, about faith, life, love, and the universe. It crushes me to know that those demons got the upper hand in some way, shape, or form. But I prefer to believe she didn't lose her battle - she just got worn out.
So I wipe my tears with a fond smile and wish love and peace to Don, who still loves her very much as I know she did him too. His pain has to be enormous now and I hope he can carry it. And to Fergal who was her rock - I hope he can know peace as well. Most of all I wish peace and strength for those three beautiful children. She loved them more than anything, and they were her inspiration and fuel so many times when the darkness overwhelmed her.
If you have time today, just listen to an old Cranberries song - like DREAMS or any song - and know the real woman behind that voice/music has gone, never to bless us again with her talent and friendship. But she left her mark on the world, and everyone who knew and loved her. She's in a better place now, and has left her fight back here. Bless you "Do", and rest well my Shamrock as I hope to again see you another day to laugh and love as we did when we were younger. If any of you readers here know someone struggling with any problem, on the edge and slipping - hug them today. Give them a call just to let them know you're there for them. It may be enough to overcome their demons and give them strength to carry on. Our connected world has disconnected us all so much, and sometimes a human contact means the world to a hurting friend. So from all of the Himmmms, rest in peace Dolores, and Godspeed beautiful creature.
nice post：）
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Thank you Himmmm for this beautiful homage. I can't believe she's gone. I read somewhere she believed her struggles came from the abuses she suffered as a child. Whatever her demons were, I hope she's in peace now.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful. Rest In Peace ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteA loss for us all
@dresses, how about you go fuck yourself. I'm gonna make it a mission to make sure nobody goes to that site, ever. I'm fucking sick and tired of spammers - this is a eulogy, we don't need your fucking spam.
ReplyDelete👏🏻👏🏻 Agreed. That was so vulgar to crash an eulogy.
DeleteShe must've been an amazing human to have such beautiful words written in her honor. I think it's safe to say she left her mark on Himmmm, whomever that may be. Thanks, Himmmm, for sharing a little of your Shamrock with us.
ReplyDeleteWormfood. Big deal. People off themselves daily.
ReplyDeleteLove her music and her voice back. One of the best bands of the 90s. Sad to hear this news.
ReplyDeleteThey were HUGE in the '90s! Love them.
DeleteSo sorry for your loss Himmmm. This was so beautifully written . Her songs meant so much to me. <3 <3
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather also died last night - stubborn old WWII vet that spent 96 wonderful years on this earth. I will now always associate his death with hers, not in a negative way, but will probably play Cranberries every year while thinking of him.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry for your loss.
DeleteI'm sorry, Jordyn.
DeleteBeautiful tribute. Her voice was amazing and so unique. She was one of a kind.
ReplyDeleteWhy did she off herself if she was such an"enlighten being"? I know plenty of women to this day are fighting through the trauma and still keep plugging along. And men too!
ReplyDeleteI so loved the cranberries and her beautiful voice. Listened to an ode to family and had a good cry.
ReplyDelete@Jordyn, so sorry for your loss, I hope you have support in your time of grief.
ReplyDeleteLoved Cranberries, saw them in concert with Toad The Wet Sprocket mid-90s. Loved her voice. My sympathies to her friends and family.
If her torment came from childhood abuse, it underscores the theme of so many CDAN stories of late.
ReplyDeleteKeep your hands off of the kids.
A beautiful tribute, Himmmm. God bless her and her family.
ReplyDelete@Jordyn. Sorry for your loss. I'm sure it was a blessing to enjoy his company for so many years.
Seeing a pattern and I don’t care for it.
ReplyDeleteGood people checking themselves out.
WTF?
That was a heart felt tribute.
ReplyDeleteThank you from those of us who fight this fight almost every day.
I lost my sister to a drug overdose almost 3 weeks ago after years of struggling with mental illness and addiction and a dear old family friend committed just 6 days ago. We did not know he was struggling as he did not tell anyone. Apparently he was also drinking heavily to numb his pain in recent months but no one knew he was struggling with depression. So yes please get help. If you're still breathing, there is still hope and there are people who still care and love you. You matter. Very sad when people struggle and don't get help. It just breaks my heart. I'm still reeling from the losses I recently suffered and my family will never be the same.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry for your losses
Delete@Unknown I am so sorry for your losses. That is such a tremendous burden. All the hugs.
ReplyDeleteThere was no effort in her voice, it's was all natural. What a loss.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss, but only cranberries I know are the ones available for dressing/stuffing
ReplyDeleteGodspeed, Do, to bigger and better things.
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/LRP8d7hhpoQ
As to a couple of comments from the “wormfood” tough guy shitheels, don’t worry - your time will inevitably come too, as it does for us all. Some are tougher than others in what they can and can’t endure and suffer through, however that doesn’t make them any more or less enlightened. You can’t live another person’s life to see what they have or haven’t had to experience, so keep the sanctimonious tsk tsk judgments to yourselves if that’s what you have to say.
My condolences to any and all who knew her. I listened to “Empty” on my way home from work today and felt such a sad sense of nostalgia. I hope she’s at peace now.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs and thoughts. She was borning in the same city as me so always had an affiliation with her. Such a sad loss :(
ReplyDeleteWhy are people assholes? RIP Delores.
ReplyDeleteIgnore the trolls. These miscreants need to get a life and not troll such a heartfelt tribute. The world lost a beautiful talent but her family lost so much more.
ReplyDeleteLinger got me through some rough times. A lot of them, actually. Never underestimate the power of music. She was an incredible artist.
ReplyDeleteThat is very sweet and it’s nice to hear about her from someone with whom she spent many special moments. Sending hugs to all that are missing someone tonight.
ReplyDeleteHimmm, I am sorry for your loss, for all our loss. An amazing voice and an amazing lady too it seems. Bless her. May her soul find peace on this journey.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, thank you for sharing Himmmm. I hope she's at peace now.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss, Himmmm, what a beautiful tribute to a friend who was obviously dearly loved.
ReplyDeleteThe loss of Dolores O'Riordan's art, talent, and voice was truly a loss to our species. That said, please also accept my deepest condolences for your personal loss, Himmmm, as well as condolences to anyone else here that knew her. And to her children... I lost my dad to similar demons in a similar way. I do very much know how it feels.
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ReplyDeleteWow,such a touching and heartfelt remembrance. Very sorry for your loss, himmmm.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your heartbreaking tribute to an unforgettable artist. She left us with many gifts to cherish.
ReplyDeleteSincere condolences to her loved ones, to you.
Thank you, Himmmm, for such a beautiful and loving tribute.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and heartfelt tribute.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful, Himmmm(s). Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteI was waiting for this post since I heard the news this morning. I believe there a few Dolores kindness reveals for those who are so inclined to search for them. Rip
ReplyDeleteWhat are the Chances as that himmmm knows Dolores? Seems pretty slim and coincidental. Unless hmmmm is a collective of people...
ReplyDeleteYes, it is more than one person. Read above, s/he even says "from all the Himmms."
DeleteRest in peace, sweet lady. We have more in common than you know.
ReplyDelete@mike m Just to be clear, I didn't imply that her death is linked to her childhood trauma, since we don't know the cause of her death. Now go trolling elsewhere.
ReplyDeletesuch a beautiful tribute Himmmm....thank you. I loved her music so much, she will be greatly missed. I am sorry for the loss of your dear Shamrock. Rest in Peace beautiful soul.
ReplyDeleteLovely, heartfelt tribute.
ReplyDeleteThe Cranberries were one of my fav bands of my wild partying 90s. So sad the world has lost another beautiful talent. She will be missed. RIP Angel xo
ReplyDeleteAs for the trolls Fuck ‘em. Ignore them. They want to get a rise & a reply. Miserable bitches don’t deserve your time.
I’m glad most of you are kind, a pleasure to continue to read. Xo
I'm sorry for Your loss.
ReplyDeleteRest in peace Dolores, and thank You for all the great music ⚘
A loss for all of us who enjoyed their music but especially her friends and family. A heartfelt tribute. Hopefully she is at peace and her friends and family can eventually find comfort in that.
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ReplyDeleteI first heard The Cranberries c1991/1992, featured on the Sunday music show that was on our second channel (probably The Beatbox). I,m pretty sure it was “Linger” with its first promo video, and probably on Dave Fanning’s 2FM show. To Brits here, Dave is our a John Peel, without the creepy obsession with schoolgirls and his love of indie and upcoming bands was genuine. He was the earliest DJ champion of U2 and was the same for The Cranberries at a national level. But I’ll never forget hearing that unique and remarkable voice.
ReplyDeleteIt was a time when so many remarkable bands were coming out of the island, in particular the provincial towns and cities, with distinctive sounds to each. Some, like The Stunning, Engine Alley, The Frames, Golden Hoarde etc remainder largely local heroes, others did become very successful abroad. The release of The Commitments (The Frames frontman Glen Hansard was in this, and went onto win an Oscar for “Once”) in 1991 helped a lot of young Irish/Northern Irish bands get taken seriously, especially in the US, thinking of The Corrs, Therapy? and The Cranberries above all.
I never went onto becoming a massive Cranberries fan after they got big - what, you think hipsters weren’t around in the 90s? - but at their peak they were undeniably good and Dolores was a hell of a front-woman. There was a gig for Shane McGowan’s 60th birthday in Dublin yesterday, and many were shell shocked at the news. We will miss her hugely.
I want to say a special "Thank You" to the collective Himmmmms for sharing their beautiful memories of their lovely friend, as well as offer my condolences and love to them and all the family, friends, loved ones, and fans of Delores. I have been a silent member of the CDAN family for many years now, but have very rarely spoken out. However, I have realized that the time has come for me to share my own path through hell and back after losing my Mother, Judy Lee Wilkinson in March 2002. I hope that there will soon be a day that we will be able to read our celebrity gossip without having our hearts broken over again as we lose our icons to plague of mental illness. While I realize that the exact cause of death has not been given for Delores, it is a fact that she attempted to take her life many years ago and suffered the pain of Bi-Polar Disorder. In honor of her memory, and at long last the memory of my Mom, I have written a long, sincere, and hopefully very informative post about the struggles faced by those who suffer from depression and mental illnesses, as well as the pain their loved ones face watching them suffer in silence. It is time to remove the stigma from mental illness and shine a light on it instead. My personal journey has been posted on my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/glitterygoddess and I have posted it to Blogger as well so I can reach as many people as possible to try to gain support in the fight to raise awareness for those who suffer from depression and mental illness. I hope at least one of you will consider reading my admittedly very lengthy post and share it with everyone you know. The time to #endthestigma is now.
ReplyDeleteOmg!So sorry for your loss as she was a great loss to me as a fan too.. 😞 Love all of Dolores songs! RIP angel!
ReplyDeleteRIP. She will always be around the ones she loves and who loves her
ReplyDeleteR.I.P Dolores
ReplyDeleteThank you for your wonderful story, himmm . @Unknown, very sorry for your losses. Best wishes.
Beautiful tribute
ReplyDeleteDidn't Enty write a blind in the past about Dolores's troubles and demons? I don't remember well, but it was about ddepression, or something else?
@Himmmm - Your tribute was achingly beautiful, and your pain and sense of loss are palpable. I am sorry for all who loved her. She had one of the most beautiful voices on the planet.
ReplyDelete@ Melissa - Welcome to the comments section. I have tremendous respect for your ability to suffer such a loss, and come through the other side. Thanks for sharing your story. It will help others.
We have much to learn about the human brain - the last frontier in medicine. We have come a long way with a few drugs and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. However, there is a huge shortage of practitioners, and pharmacology is hit and miss. That said, if you know someone who is suffering with these issues, encourage them to seek help, and be persistent. They may have to go through several therapists to find one they are comfortable with, and the mood disorder drugs are the same - trial and error. If you are looking for a way to make a difference, donate your time and/or treasure to mental health organizations. They receive very little funding and provide much needed services.
Well said. Will miss her.
ReplyDeleteJack Daniels and I used to loop "disappointment" and twirl around the living room max volume. I haven't listened to that in 20+ years. I bet I still like it
ReplyDeleteloving and genuine sentiment @himmmm. may she rest in peace and may her family find strength
LOVED her voice!!! Her voice automatically takes me back to great memories. The world has lost another beautiful talent. May she r.i.p.
ReplyDelete@Jordyn - Sorry for your loss Jordyn.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss Unknown. It must be difficult to lose someone, let alone more than one, during a short amount of time.
ReplyDeleteSending a big virtual hug your way.
@Observant One - Thank you very much for your warm welcome and very kind words. What you said about me helping others by sharing my story means a lot to me. <3
ReplyDeleteIf anyone is interested in reading about my journey down the path of grief after losing someone to suicide, my experiences in trying to find the right doctors and therapy for both my late Mother and myself, and my new determination that 2018 will be the year we shine a light on depression, mental illness and suicide and remove the stigma attached to those topics, I have reproduced my original Facebook post from yesterday on the topic on Blogger. The link is https://shinealightobnmentalillness.blogspot.com/. Thank you to all who read this and I send my thoughts and love to those who need help. I will be happy to communicate with anyone who wants to contact me personally to share their own stories, who want to help me raise awareness, or just talk about whatever is on your mind. Love and light to you all!
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I have bipolar I like this woman. Every January I look around to see who in my bipolar tribe is still standing. I lost one friend last year - suicide. We actually met in the quack shack. He was homeless - died in his car.
ReplyDeletePeople who don't experience mania don't get it - not really. And when you crash they don't get that either. Mostly I think they get fed up with the constant struggle. For while you might be bat shit crazy some days you are still responsible for your action and behavior. It's not uncommon to lose time in fact and that's the hardest of all. Checking your text messages and voice mails trying to figure out where you were and what you were doing the night before. It's fucking terrifying.
There is probably a clubhouse in your area if you live in a large city. Pay them a visit - donate your time because recovery is never complete. Meds and doctors only get you so far.
https://austinclubhouse.org/
Thank you for being there for your friend during her time of need. RIP sweet lady.
ReplyDeleteRIP. 💛💛💛💛
ReplyDeleteThank you for this lovely remembrance.
ReplyDeleteDear Himmmm,
ReplyDeleteWhen you share your experiences and thoughts,
I often feel like we're right there beside you.
The way you weave your words allows us to see the world through your eyes.
Lovely message.
Cranberries were part of the soundtrack to my teen years.
I
Dolores is not gone, she's purely passed through to the next realm of consciousness.
Bless her and her family.
So sad. Thank you for a nice goodbye post Himmmmm. The first time I heard the Cranberries a friend of mine had their CD No Need To Argue playing as we headed to a soccer tournament in Florida. I was captivated by her unique vocal style...just, lovely. Such a shame to lose another talent. I spent a couple of hours on Youtube last night listening to her...I pray she has found peace. I thought the below blind was pretty awesome...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2016/01/blind-items-revealed-17-kindness.html
Well said, Godspeed Do. Being Bi polar is so hard
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ReplyDeleteWhat a loser.
ReplyDeleteHer sad passing reminds me of something Rose Kennedy said when a reporter asked her how she coped with so much loss. She replied:
ReplyDeleteYOU CAN'T BE IRISH WITHOUT KNOWING THE WORLD IS GOING TO BREAK YOUR HEART.
There are millions of broken hearts in Eire today and around the world. She is finally at peace.
That was heartfelt and beautiful, Himmmm. RIP, Do.
ReplyDeleteGodspeed Dolores... 💛.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely gutted, such a.beautiful voice and person, god be with her family at this painful time.
ReplyDeleteVery sad that such an apparently beautiful soul has been snuffed out.
ReplyDeleteBut fuck, I hate The Cranberries.
Like the Cranberrries, but wasn't a fan. I googled them today. They made a demo of there first song, "Linger" and sent 500 copies to Iceland, why Iceland I don't know. It quickly sold out. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE61d5Ndelk
ReplyDeleteI’ve heard fro people who worked for the record company and fans that had met her that she was a nasty bitch to her band mates and the general public. I don’t think she’s going to be missed that much.
ReplyDeleteTo Alwaysquestioning. The irony in your moniker is simply laughable. You obviously have complete ignorance of suffering from a serious mental disorder.
ReplyDeleteRIP Dolores and thank you Himmm for such a heartfelt and beautiful tribute xxxx
I don't mean to be a jerk, but she didn't love her 3 kids more than anything. She left them. I don't blame her for leaving them. Sometimes you get overwhelmed more than you can handle. If I ever off myself I would never want anyone to say that I loved my kids more than anything because if I did that, then my kids weren't enough to keep me alive.
ReplyDeleteI believe it was a tragic accident
ReplyDelete