This former reality star turned singer turned sometime actress turned in the news for all the wrong reasons got some very large new breasts. Apparently her husband wants to start making porn videos with her.
A quick expansion from condensed Enty-speak into colloquial English:
This blind is about a lady. She used to be a reality star. Then she turned into a singer. She's even done some acting. This makes her a TRIPLE menace....err....threat!
Apparently she's been in the news a lot. Rescuing kittens? Making erudite comments on the issues of the day? Sharing interesting low carb recipes from ingredients found in the average American kitchen?
Hardly.
And recently she's had a little work done.
As you all know, Hollywood is nothing if not a friendly, nurturing safe space for people to work towards improving themselves. And what better way than getting jacked up on a hydraulic lift and having great big globs of suspect material stuffed into your chestal areas until they're big as volleyballs?
I've always thought there is nothing that says self-respect and empowerment more than surgically blowing up those fun-bags until they become catnip for the most worthless segment of the man spectrum. You go girl!
But our triple menace didn't do this for herself. No, she's a giver. This was a demand from her husband! He's a man with a plan!
And this plan involves sticking her into porn! Because nothing says love more than pimping your loved one out. You know, in case something happens. She'll need a way to make a living! It's selfless really.
It's the old Hollywood story: Boy meets girl. Boy forces girl to explode her chest surgically. Boy films girl in various sex acts and then sells films for big cash. Everybody lives happily ever after!
Really? Well I guess if Paris can "sing" so can these bimbos I doubt Spencer wants to show his junk. Courtney is with some rich Asian dude. How about tardy to the party Kim? Husband is kind of hot...I could see this
My first thought was Jessica Simpson, although I'd say she was singer THEN reality then actress. Obviously her boobs were huge anyway but maybe she's had some uplift or something. She is pretty confident about her sexuality (and her husband's) on her Instagram.
As you all know, Hollywood is nothing if not a friendly, nurturing safe space for people to work towards improving themselves. And what better way than getting jacked up on a hydraulic lift and having great big globs of suspect material stuffed into your chestal areas until they're big as volleyballs?
Jennifer Hudson
ReplyDeleteShe and David Otunga never married...
DeleteJWoww?
ReplyDeleteStodden
ReplyDeleteOk she broke up with him anyhow, so she doesn't fit. How about our old buddies Speidi? She acts sometimes? And she did her tits.
ReplyDeleteSeems like this one will reveal itself soon enough.
ReplyDeleteA quick expansion from condensed Enty-speak into colloquial English:
ReplyDeleteThis blind is about a lady. She used to be a reality star. Then she turned into a singer. She's even done some acting. This makes her a TRIPLE menace....err....threat!
Apparently she's been in the news a lot. Rescuing kittens? Making erudite comments on the issues of the day? Sharing interesting low carb recipes from ingredients found in the average American kitchen?
Hardly.
And recently she's had a little work done.
As you all know, Hollywood is nothing if not a friendly, nurturing safe space for people to work towards improving themselves. And what better way than getting jacked up on a hydraulic lift and having great big globs of suspect material stuffed into your chestal areas until they're big as volleyballs?
I've always thought there is nothing that says self-respect and empowerment more than surgically blowing up those fun-bags until they become catnip for the most worthless segment of the man spectrum. You go girl!
But our triple menace didn't do this for herself. No, she's a giver. This was a demand from her husband! He's a man with a plan!
And this plan involves sticking her into porn! Because nothing says love more than pimping your loved one out. You know, in case something happens. She'll need a way to make a living! It's selfless really.
It's the old Hollywood story: Boy meets girl. Boy forces girl to explode her chest surgically. Boy films girl in various sex acts and then sells films for big cash. Everybody lives happily ever after!
It's so nice to know that romance isn't dead...
Marry me now.
DeleteI would go with Stodden. "The wrong reasons" means her various tearfilled social media please don't leave me Doug I want to end it all stuff.
ReplyDeleteSpeidi just had a baby, so they're in the news, though I wouldn't call a birth "all the wrong reasons."
Speidi and stodden are not singers thank God. I'll go with Fantasia
DeleteJust for fun I'll say Carrie Underwood. She was in Soul Surfer according to IMDB
ReplyDeleteHeidi Pratt is a “singer” (I’ll admit to listening to “Superficial” as a guilty pleasure...it’s incredibly auto tuned).
ReplyDeleteReally? Well I guess if Paris can "sing" so can these bimbos I doubt Spencer wants to show his junk. Courtney is with some rich Asian dude. How about tardy to the party Kim? Husband is kind of hot...I could see this
DeleteStodden also recorded a song/made a music video for a terrible, terrible song.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was Jessica Simpson, although I'd say she was singer THEN reality then actress. Obviously her boobs were huge anyway but maybe she's had some uplift or something. She is pretty confident about her sexuality (and her husband's) on her Instagram.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was Stodden, but didn't she get the boob job years ago?
ReplyDelete@fustian - Please do us all a favor and rewrite/translate Enty's blinds from here on out.
THE PROFESSIONALS STATE THAT THIS PARTICULAR VALTREX VAGINA IS NONE OTHER THAN BLOHAN, THE ORIGINAL COKE WHORE.
ReplyDeleteTHAT IS ALL.
She’s not married
DeleteFustian is giving me strong Ted Casablanca vibes. :'(
ReplyDelete@fustian
ReplyDeleteAs you all know, Hollywood is nothing if not a friendly, nurturing safe space for people to work towards improving themselves. And what better way than getting jacked up on a hydraulic lift and having great big globs of suspect material stuffed into your chestal areas until they're big as volleyballs?
You Magnificent Bastard.
Heidi Pratt
ReplyDeleteJessica Simpson - if you were married to sexual napalm, wouldn't you want to get it on film...
ReplyDeleteHeidi and Spencer
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDelete+1 Fustian - love it!!
Jessica Simpson was a singer before she was a reality star, I doubt this is her.
ReplyDelete