November 29& 30, 2016
Over the past decade that I have been doing this, from time to time I have been offered recordings. Either for sale, or sometimes for no other reason that people just don't want the responsibility for hanging on to what they have. Most of those recordings I still have in my possession. I don't have any desire to see things in the videos released. Most of the videos are not sexual. None were stolen or hacked. The vast majority of the recordings are celebrities doing a wide variety of drugs and they let themselves be recorded doing so. I do have a couple of recordings of celebrities having sex. I also have some recordings that combine sex and drugs.
One of the recordings no longer in my possession is what this blind is about. This was almost a decade ago. I was at a party with some friends. Nothing crazy. It was a birthday party and the location of the house where we were celebrating was chosen because you could walk to a lot of clubs. No Uber back then. But, it was close enough where everyone could stumble back to this house. At the club, the first person I saw was this at the time A- list mostly television actress. A+ list name recognition. All of you know her. She is probably B+ list or even B now because she does not act much any longer. The thing is though she still has A+ list name recognition.
She was at the club because the individual with the birthday was one of her best friends. I could tell the actress was not much of a drinker. She gave it a shot and after drinking for just a little while, you could tell why she was not much of a drinker. She got drunk quick. I mean within 45 minutes she was barely able to stand. I guess it had been her plan to stay at the club until her actor boyfriend could get there and they would leave together. He was still going to be a couple of hours, so two of us came up with the bright idea we would support her and keep her moving for the short walk to this house we were using as a base for that night. It may or may not surprise you to know that this was about my 20th time helping some celebrity out of a spot where you didn't want to be seen by anyone in that condition. Especially her. She played off that goody goody image big time. She would not want the world to see her drunk. The only tricky spot we were going to have to worry about was by the front door and the people lined up. We managed to just kind of dwarf her to the point it almost didn't look like there was anyone between us. When we got through the crowd it was just a matter of basically carrying her to the house.
We arrived, and the key that was supposed to be under the mat wasn't there. So, I was left alone with her while the other person ran back to the club and got the key to the place. It was sometime in early spring when this happened and it was kind of cold at night. I think the night air sobered her up a little. Not much, but just a little. We started talking and I said I or someone would let her boyfriend know where she was and to pick her up at the house. She then asked me for my phone number. I asked her if she wanted me to put it in her phone but she said no. Just to write my number down and give it to her. I did. She then handed me her phone and told me to keep it until she called me for it. At that point, the other person arrived back with the key and we carried the actress into the house and put her on the couch. We put a blanket over her and went back to the club.
My friend and I returned back to the club, the phone of the actress safely in the back pocket of my pants. Beginning about an hour after we got back to the club, my butt starts vibrating. A lot. I had forgotten about the phone until then. I didn't forget about it again. The actress specifically told me she would call my phone when she wanted her phone back. When I looked down at the phone it said the name of her boyfriend. I debated picking it up, but she had been pretty clear about her instructions. It was the only time she appeared relatively coherent the entire night. The thing is, I didn't want to press ignore and I didn't want to mess with the settings on her phone to take it off vibrate. I was afraid I would accidentally answer it. I was also scared to sit with it in my back pocket for fear my butt would answer it. So, for the next three hours until the battery finally died I watched a vibrating phone be called 142 times. That missed number just kept climbing. Interestingly enough, the boyfriend never left a voice mail or sent a text. He just kept calling and calling and calling. Meanwhile, my phone was silent. I knew she had my number. I also told myself that she could contact the birthday person and get my phone number that way.
When her phone finally died I realized just how tense the whole thing had been with those calls. When they stopped, I got hammered. Instead of going back to the meetup house I decided to cab home.
The next day was a Saturday. I never left the house. Not because of a hangover but because I didn't want to go do anything and be forced to interrupt my day when the actress eventually called me for her phone. The whole day and night went by and I didn't hear from her. Not a peep. At some point that night I wondered if I should try and contact her through our mutual friend, but decided it could wait until Sunday.
So, Sunday morning about 10 she gives me a call. She asks me to meet her at a restaurant and offers to buy me brunch for my trouble. I never turn down free food and this place she wanted to meet has one of the best buffet brunches, so I was in.
An hour later, I handed her the phone and started eating. A lot. One thing about me is that I am not shy when it comes to food. You can be an actress who never eats and can sip a glass of water for two hours but I am still going to eat in front of you. A lot. This particular actress did eat. No carbs, but she ate. We were seated outside which is where you want to sit if you don't want anyone to notice you. People do, but only the people who are seated next to you. You don't want to be a celebrity and be inside on a walking path between a table and the buffet. I once watched Steve Buscemi take an hour to eat one omelette because he had to keep stopping to take selfies or sign autographs for fans. It was during award season when that happened and I tend to find my way there at that time of the year to see if I can spot anything. I told myself that he would never sit in that spot again. I was wrong. One week later he was in the same exact spot and the same exact thing happened to him. Maybe he liked the attention.
Anyway, back to the outside and our actress. I came back with a massive plate of food. She waited until I sat down and with that smile she does so well, she said, "So, what did you think of it?"
I had no idea what she was referring to. Did she mean all the missed calls from the boyfriend? I asked her and she said, "I know you must have looked at it. I would have."
I had no clue what she was talking about. I told her so. She asked me over and over for the next five minutes if I was sure I had not seen what was on the phone. I told her about all the missed calls and that the phone died and I hadn't touched it since. I did charge it for her, but never turned it back on after it died.
I think she finally believed me. She said the reason she believed me was because of the way I was looking at her. I still had no idea what she was talking about. I had turned down a drink when I sat down, but I was regretting that now. She turned on her phone and when it powered up, she did some things and then turned the phone towards me. What I saw was her having sex with a guy. She was on top, fully topless by the way and the guy, who you couldn't see was holding the camera up while our actress orgasmed. Loudly. She let me watch about 15 seconds of it before pulling it back. I told her that I had definitely not seen that before.
Apparently the guy in the video was not her boyfriend. It was a guy she was seeing on the side and thinking of a way to tell her boyfriend it was over. Her boyfriend was being crazy jealous the past few weeks and knew something was up and was acting like a stalker. She knew that if she was passed out drunk, he would go through her phone. At night when she was sleeping she would keep it under her pillow, but she knew during a drunk induced sleep, he would pull it out and she would never know. So, she gave it to me. She said the only reason she did was that since I was a lawyer I probably wouldn't go try selling it. I think at some point during the brunch I was looking her way and she said, that was how she expected me to look if I had seen the video. I hadn't acted that way so she believed me and that was also the reason she showed me the video rather than just telling me.
I didn't ask about the guy or the boyfriend. We just ate and talked about other stuff. She broke up with the boyfriend the next week and eventually the guy in the video too. About two months later, maybe a little more I ran into her at the same place. I think it was Easter. She was with some members of her family going in while I was leaving. I walked straight up to her without her really noticing me. She was talking to a family member. I said, "Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you, but do you think i could borrow your phone for a minute or two."
During the first part of that sentence as she was turning and focusing on me, I think she thought the last part of the sentence was going to be asking her for a photo or an autograph. So, when her brain registered the last part of the sentence you could see by her facial expression that she was not expecting it but then she focused in on me and a fraction of a second later smiled that smile of hers and laughed while she said, "F**k off." I turned around and started walking out and I could hear her family member asking what that was all about and the actress telling the family member they wouldn't want to know.
Jennifer Love Hewitt/Jamie Kennedy
