Today's Blind Items - Bangkok Part Two

Was every guy in the world over the age of 60 in this hotel lobby at this particular second? That was what I was wondering as I made my way to a bank of elevators in the middle of the night headed to my room. The financial part of my brain kicked in and I thought if this was one random hotel on a random night and if this was being repeated all over the country, the amount of dollars brought in by this to the country must be staggering. In the elevator I was joined by two couples who obviously were about to head up to their rooms to finish what they had started in the lobby. One of the guys, who, judging by his accent was Australian, started speaking to me. While holding on to the breast of his female companion, he looked me up and down in my wrinkled suit and bloodshot eyes and said what I needed was a drink and a lady and the world would be all good again. The fact that he said this while missing several teeth and booze breath that would challenge the capability of a breathalyzer I wasn't sure I ever wanted to see that world of which he spoke. Before I could reply he then boasted this was the third woman he was taking to his room that day. He then did that whole Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi thing with the other guy in the elevator, who up to that point had been making out with the woman who was with him. Not making out in a Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams Notebook way or even porn making out. This was like some guy who had practiced on a pillow for forty years and was making his first foray into the real thing. Did I tell you before how slow the elevator moved and how tall the hotel was? I finally got to my floor. The door opened and when I steppe out in the hallway I gasped for air. I realized that I had been holding my breath after getting a whiff of the vapors those guys had been emanating.

The room? Nothing unlike any other of the hotel's worldwide properties. You know, balcony, blackout curtains, mini-bar with boxes of condoms and sex toys individually wrapped. Oh, did I mention the lubes, oils or natural Viagra also for sale?

I was so exhausted but couldn't sleep. I took a shower and climbed into bed. I wish I had been like Gordon Ramsay in Hotel Hell and brought a sleeping bag with me. I flipped through the million cable channels and watched rugby until I fell asleep.

I know all of you like to get straight to the celebrity blind parts of these things, but all of this was part of it and the experience. I guess I preferred Hollywood where vices are hidden and you have to pry out the secrets.

My meeting was at 11 in the morning. That is my recollection. It has been awhile now. I do remember I had time to go slow in the morning. There was no rushing around. My original plan was to eat in the hotel restaurant for breakfast. Have you ever seen a bar in the daylight? That harsh light they try so hard to block out of nightclubs? The restaurant was nice enough in the daylight, but the aftermath of a night of drinking and partying was evident everywhere. Not in the room itself, but the people. i'm sure by later that night, most of these guys would be ready to go again, but that hotel restaurant was a really depressing sight I won't soon forget.

i wandered outside and saw a place to eat. Everything was open. i remember exactly what I ate. It was pork Pad Thai. It was to be the only meal I ate the entire visit. I took a cab over to the set and it was not like any set I had been on before. There was no main area where everyone parked and then shuttled over to the set. This was one big conglomeration of trailers and equipment and food stalls and tables and makeshift bars. There were literally women everywhere. Apparently to film there, the production had to hire not only crew, but also their families and second cousins and friends down the street. It was an army of workers. In Hollywood, with that number of people on set, the entire budget of this movie would be gone in a couple of days. Here, they would be able to film for six weeks. I asked around and found the actor I was looking for. I tried to find the producer contact I was supposed to meet, but apparently he was getting a massage. Uh huh.

The actor. You all know him. Honestly you do. Even if I tell you that as it stands right now he is a B- list actor, all of you know him. In a change of pace, lets call him SD. Some people might dispute the whole SD thing, but I'm going with it. He was a mess when I saw him, but not in a I'm taking drugs and going to die kind of way. This was an I partied all night like a rock star because everyone in this country knows my franchise so I partied until an hour before coming to set kind of way. The movie was not tough. There are no sonnets or soliloquies. It was an action movie and plenty of low cost stunt people to do all the action. He just needed to be able to read some lines. He wasn't going to be able to read them until mid-afternoon most days, but since most of the movie took place in late afternoon or night, that was not going to be an issue. He probably would not be able to film with the three topless women in his trailer either, but they would be there when he got back from filming. Apparently our actor had kicked drugs for the trip. Not because he was giving them up but because he was scared of ending up in jail there. He was going to drink the town dry and have sex as much as possible, but I could tell he was going to be ale to film.

This whole process took about an hour. Maybe a little less. I remember one of the women was talking about lunch and who was going to bring it to them and our actor seemed like it was go time for him with them which meant it was go time for me.

As I am walking out of his trailer, I saw two other women go inside a trailer opposite his. No big deal. This was one big sex fest. Then, I saw who was in the other trailer. An actor who looked shocked that I saw him. It was one of those moments a director tries to capture where eyes lock on and you instantly know everything. This actor is well known. B lister through and through. He can get a headlining movie but it would have to be a straight to on Demand kind of thing. All of you know him too. Mr. Married. Mr. Family. Always going on and on about family and family values. It is always the big talkers who are the big cheaters. These women were not going in his trailer to cut his hair or pray with him. He knew that I knew. Right with that look. We are going to call him BC. I had heard a rumor a couple of years earlier that he hooked up with the actress/klepto turned escort. Well, that she orally serviced him while he freaked out about being caught. No one ever believed it. Now I did though. He has done a bunch of movies and television. I'm guessing his credits must total 100. I wasn't going to rat him out but he didn't know that. He could have kicked out the women after he saw me. He didn't.

Tomorrow in the final part, I met an actor for the first time who was a part of my life for that moment forward.