Blind Items Revealed #21

November 24, 2015

Since this has a rough correlation with food and Thanksgiving is definitely a lot of food, I think this is a good fit for this week. Hey, even if it had not been this week I would have written it. I don’t think this guy has ever been a blind. I have met the guy twice. Both at restaurants. Once at a Thai place where he ate more than me and another time wolfing down a bunch of Burger King at the airport. I mean these were airport prices so he must have had $50 worth of burgers and fries in front of him. The crazy thing was I saw him looking at salads before he made his way over to the Burger King. Like me, he has had some weight issues from time to time. Not as bad as me, but the man enjoys his food.
It turns out, this B- list do anything he can get comic actor who used to be A- likes his food delivered in ways that are far more interesting then sitting down at a table. Recently our actor was at a charity event. A big event. Lots of money being passed around to get celebrities there. Great resort where they were put up. A guy who works at the hotel who used to be a great source in LA before moving said that he got a call from the actor and said he wanted a stripper. It is not a strange request. Happens all the time. My guy told him there were plenty online and he would feel more comfortable if our actor chose one for himself. Our actor then said he wanted a stripper who specialized in the unusual. That sentence was stretched out over 30 seconds of umms and pauses. It turned out our actor wanted a stripper who was willing to cover herself and our actor in food while she got naked and maybe he did. My guy made some calls and put him in touch with a service. A short time later, our actor put in an order for pudding and pies and cakes and a bunch of other desserts from room service. Not just one or two things, but enough for a party of 30-40 people. We are talking about $1000 worth of desserts. The thing is, the charity was footing the bill for room service so our actor probably didn’t care.

The next thing that happened was that a call to housekeeping brought a request for several sheets. Then, a group of four women came into the hotel accompanied by a guy who went up to the room of the actor. The guy came back down to the lobby and waited for a good two hours. When the women came down they were wearing sweat suits but you could see tons of food in their hair.

Our actor must have been an expert at this because the maids cleaning the room didn’t find any food anywhere. The sheets had disappeared and the empty food trays were there, but no mess.

Jon Lovitz