All I wanted to do was sleep in to the next year when I decided to crash in the back of the van. I certainly wasn't expecting to see a half naked woman. Not that I was opposed to that but she wasn't coming to fulfill some strange fetish of having sex on the cold steel floor of a greasy van. Instead she knocked out of panic. When she said there had been an accident I don't know why she decided to come all the way down the hotel, out through the lobby and come searching for me when she could have just made a phone call to get help, but she did. When we made our way through the lobby there was no one there. No one at the front desk. When we finally made our way to FT's room the first thing I saw was a glass coffee table that had shattered. The only thing that remained was the metal base that had supported the thick glass. There was also a great deal of blood scattered throughout the broken shards and a bag which still held quite a lot of what looked like coke. Plenty more was mixed with the glass on the floor. I also noticed the carpet was stained with blood and it was going to be another charge added to the growing number for this movie.
FT was on the bed. Naked. Bloody from the waist down. From the bathroom the other woman came out. She was naked except for a pair of panties. Her hair was matted with blood. When she turned around I could see why. She had a huge gash on the back of her head. I was surprised she was actually moving around. Apparently the woman with the gash on her head was a former or current cheerleader or something and FT wanted to have her stand on his shoulders. He did so, but at some point lost his balance and hit the table or fell into it and ended up going through it with his left leg. When he lost his balance the woman fell six feet and hit her head on the side of the table.
The reason the other woman came to get me was because the former cheerleader had been unconscious when she left and FT screamed at her to go get help. He hadn't asked for me specifically but she thought because I had been responsible for them earlier in the night that I was the person to ask for help. It is because of this that I think MW asked for my help later in life a few different times. Even TS has asked me to help. With him it is generally watching his pets or something like that, but hey, it is still helping. FT said he was fine. He didn't look like it though. There were chunks of glass sticking out of his leg. Since I knew he wouldn't go to a doctor I told him to take a shower and I would get some bandages and antiseptic. Nothing like wandering the aisles of a grocery store just before dawn looking for first aid supplies. When I got back, the woman who came out to the van was using tweezers to pull out glass from FT while FT did lines to help with the pain. Apparently the former cheerleader decided she had some pain issues too. Lots of them judging by how much coke they did in the 20-30 minutes I was there.
After judging that no one was going to die, and if someone did, that I had not left fingerprints anywhere they would remain, I left. Two days later I was back on set and except for a slight limp which was actually written into the movie at some point, FT seemed normal. That was the only time I went out with FT that summer. TS and MW and I went out a few more times during filming, but compared to that night things were pretty tame. FT ended up in rehab not too long after the movie. Oh, and the movie was a huge bomb, but I love it and that is not just because I am in it a few times when they needed some warm bodies.
Awesome story,Enty! Can't wait for the next one!
ReplyDeleteHmm...good thing his femoral or iliac artery wasn't nicked or taking a shower would have killed him outright.
ReplyDeletePSA: if someone is bleeding profusely and there's a foreign object lodged in the wound, it's not a good idea to remove that object. It may be staunching blood flow.
That's pretty much why entertainment lawyers are hardly ever part time paramedics. So, so many deaths. /s
BTW saw this on IMDB.
ReplyDeleteGodfather of RDJ's son is Anthony Michael Hall.
You're in it, Enty?
ReplyDeleteHmmm now I have to watch "Johnny be Good" and try to figure out who you are ;)
Remember the Seinfeld episode where J. Peterman buys Kramer's stories? I'd love to think these are really Enty's reminiscences.. the syntax and writing style are the same.
ReplyDeleteSandy was right. We know who Enty is. Clues all there. From Texas. Knows AMH and RDJ. knows Uma and Quentin. It's Ted Casablanca
ReplyDeleteOMG. You're right.
ReplyDeleteI don't think Enty is Ted. This article said that Enty is a lawyer and was 43 in 2012. http://nypost.com/2012/04/01/how-crazy-days-and-nights-fooled-hollywood/
ReplyDelete