Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Sarah Hyland's Ex-Boyfriend Ordered To Stay Away For Three Years

Sarah Hyland was granted a permanent restraining order against her ex-boyfriend. He has been ordered to stay away from the actress for the next three years. I think it is great she got this so he can be arrested if he attempts to contact her and I'm sure he will. If things are as bad as Hyland said they were, then this guy will probably do something. he had no problems threatening her with people around her and I'm sure he will end up in jail at some point for violating it. I do wish though that Hyland had called the police and reported his behavior before. She said she knew she was in an abusive relationship and what if something had happened to her and she previously had the chance to call police. Don't think things will get better. Get out and call the police. 

Posted by ent lawyer at 8:15 AM

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41 comments:

  1. Unknown8:16 AM

    Yes, lets continue to blame the woman being abused for allowing the abuse to happen because she wasn't afraid for her life or anything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. katiekat8:18 AM

      *thunderous applause*
      Thank you Ducky!

      Delete
    2. Bluezz 8:22 AM

      @jack Totally agree. Plus she was also dealing with a serious health issue re her kidneys.

      Delete
    3. Unknown6:33 PM

      Thank you!!!!

      Delete
  2. MeanieRhysie8:20 AM

    +1 @jack ducky.

    This must be bone-brained Enty...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bluezz 8:28 AM

      @MeanieRhysie HA! Correctomundo re the bone-brained comment. We're on the same wave-length today, Girl.

      Smooches to my Darlin' Rhysie.;-)

      Delete
  3. Kelly8:21 AM

    + a billion ducky!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kno Won8:28 AM

    Three years does not equal permanent. I have pantyhose older than that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. electrictoo9:23 AM

      It's legal terminology in this case. In California Temporary Restraining Orders are issued on an emergency basis pending hearing. So calling it "permanent" just means the order made is past the hearing stage.

      Delete
  5. MnGddess8:29 AM

    Hope someone's keeping an eye on this guy. I don't think he really cares about a restraining order.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rivenisahasbeen8:29 AM

    +11 Jucky

    I'd like to thank my past abusive partners for telling me from day 1 that they are abusive so I knew what to expect. It's much kinder than forcing me to experience years of love confessions twisted up in manipulation, control and isolation before coming to that conclusion myself.

    Oh wait...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kno Won8:30 AM

    And this might be one of the worst things you've ever written, Enty. In case you don't understand why anyone would think you aren't a prince among men:
    "If things are as bad as Hyland said they were, then this guy will probably do something."
    As someone who's had a stalker, fuck you all to hell, Enty. You are a loser.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown6:34 PM

      And yet you show no such empathy in the very next post...

      Delete
  8. Unknown8:32 AM

    Give enty a break. I don't think enty are blaming or shaming her. I think they are just trying to encourage women/girls in same situation to report this kind of behavior. I didn't read any snarkiness in the item. i think it goes without saying that there are lots of reasons why victims don't follow enties advice but it doesn't hurt to advocate that they do which is how I read the item.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dena8:35 AM

      +12

      Delete
    2. TV Junkie8:45 AM

      I agree, Texas rose. I think he's encouraging girls to get out. There is ALWAYS another option, even though you're terrified. Even a shelter is better than being abused.

      Delete
    3. __-__=__4:32 PM

      That's what I thought. Document, document, document. I posted a thread below and that lady had sick documentation. Way more than I can imagine. It will save her life. I encourage everyone to read those threads.

      Delete
  9. Kno Won8:36 AM

    Often, "then this guy will probably do something" turns out to be something hideously violent and/or murderous. That was a completely asinine thing to say. Especially for someone impersonating an attorney. Not excusable, no slack will be given. Fuck this asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  10. msgirl9:29 AM

    Yeah I read this also as advising women to get out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. crila169:50 AM

    Being a woman who had a psycho boyfriend when I was younger, I can promise you, that going to the police is not an option when they're threatening your life. You're terrified all the time and you have no clue how to escape. Don't pass judgement on a victim of a psycho, until you've walked a couple of miles in their shoes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. auntliddy11:39 AM

      Crila, i worked with a woman around the time the whole joel steinberg/hedda story broke. ( google it if dont know). She said she was in relationship like that and she said, believe me, if he goes out and tells u to sit right there and dont move til he comes back, you dont. It was an eye opener for me. I mean i was always on abusee's side, but i didnt know it was that bad. Im sorry for anyone who has to deal with this. Hugs.

      Delete
  12. Unknown10:45 AM

    For enty or anyone else who thinks Sarah should have gotten out earlier or "she previously had the chance to call the police", please use the web to educate yourselves about Battered Person's Syndrome (which is also sometimes referred to as Battered Women's Syndrome, even though it extends to males as well). It may help shed some light as to why Sarah or anyone in an abusive relationship remains in one. Telling a person to simply leave or that even a shelter is better than staying in the relationship, is easier said then done. Abusive relationships don't only hurt a person's physical and emotional being, but it can completely break their spirit until he or she can't even trust themselves anymore. It is an incredibly complex issue, however one thing is 100% clear: don't blame the person for not leaving in what you may consider to be a timely fashion. Relationships like Sarah's are a total mind fuck, and it's crucial to not blame or judge her, or any other victim of abuse. If you feel the need to point a finger at someone for not reacting in an appropriate manner, try blaming the ABUSER instead. Rant has now been completed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Unknown11:02 AM

    How does one advocate women get out of abusive relationships or contact authorities if abuse happens? Apparently if you do you may be accused of blaming or shaming those those that don't or didn't. Everyone understands why many victims can't bring themselves to do that and that there should be no shaming or blaming. I think everyone is on the same page here and maybe just interpreting how enty wrote the item differently given their own perspective and experiences.

    ReplyDelete
  14. hothotheat11:27 AM

    Psychos like this don't start off letting you know they are psychos. At first their acting kind and wonderful, known as the Honeymoon stage or grooming. Once your hooked they start the control and manipulation. They confuse you and make you doubt yourself, you just want the person they were in the beginning back. That's why a lot of victims don't leave when/if they can. Jj The person they fell in love with disappears, replaced by the abuser.

    I hate that Sarah, or anyone has a to suffer through this kind of thing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. hothotheat11:29 AM

    ^sorry about the your/you're and their/they're errors. I was typing too fast.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lioness7011:33 AM

    I know someone whose ex broke into their house and held a knife to their throat. The ex was arrested but was only jailed for three days. They wouldn't press any charges.

    I wondered why at the time, but thinking back, I don't blame them. They wanted that shit out of their life. Since I last heard, the ex never came back.

    It's easy to armchair quarterback these situations when you're not in fear for your life.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Unknown12:26 PM

    @texas rose...I think enty meant well, but doesn't understand that there cannot be a timeline or" coulda, woulda, shoulda" mentality when it comes to reporting abuse. He did make it clear he felt Sarah waited too long to inform the police, and that's what really bothered me. It's good he applauded her for getting out, but I don't think he realizes there are legit psychological reasons she was unable to take action until now. His comment came across as, "good job for leaving, but she knew this guy was nuts so what took her so long?" It's great and certainly acceptable to encourage victims of abuse to leave their situation, but it's not cool to imply it should have been done sooner. That type of implication is where the victim blaming comes in. Perhaps enty/fake enty/whoever wrote about this case will look at some of these comments and be a little more sensitive to the judgement and scrutiny that abuse victims are often subject to.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Unknown1:58 PM

    Everything Enty said was correct. He's not shaming her for not calling the police before, he's just saying he wishes she had.

    And as for the likelihood that this guy will do something, it's off the charts unfortunately. All the media attention and sympathy this case is giving her is making him a social pariah and unemployable (justifiably so, I rush to say) but put yourself inside his unstable psyche and see what that does to him in terms of rage and frustration.

    One of the best books I ever read was Gavin DeBecker's The Gift Of Fear which talks about situations like this among others. GDB is a security consultant to the stars who himself came from an extremely abusive childhood ... if she hasn't hired him or someone like him, she should. She should never be left alone without armed security for the next few months if not longer.

    A restraining order does NOTHING to protect a person except in a court of law, after the abuser violates it, which may be too late.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Unknown2:01 PM

    Also, when someone famous like this goes to the police and it goes public, that is a double-edged sword - it actually put the person at MORE risk in the short term because it enrages the abuser. Every time Sarah Hyland appears in a sympathetic TV piece or magazine article that's just fuel on the fire to this guy. Not to mention he's in the same profession, just not as successful as she is ... and now he's unemployable.

    This is an EXTREMELY dangerous situation, made more so if possible by going to the police.

    Sometimes, it's "heads you lose, tails you lose."

    ReplyDelete
  20. Unknown2:03 PM

    Every woman should read this book (The Gift of Fear). This is a clicky to the amazon.com page - you can click to look inside the book and read random pages.

    Your local library might have a copy.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Bit dams2:09 PM

    Restraining orders are for people who follow rules. Big deal. Of course he will do something to violate the order. At least she can afford body guards. Whenever a publlic person has this experience I am always hopeful that a little bit of the stigma surrounding domestic violence goes away. It can happen to anyone. It might look perfect on the outside to the world and be a a hellish existance

    ReplyDelete
  22. OKay3:23 PM

    It's nice to see cooler heads prevailing around here...eventually. But it's just annoying as hell when everybody immediately piles on Enty for not saying something EXACTLY the way you think he should. She should have gotten the fuck out a lot sooner. And called the cops a lot sooner. And she didn't. So there.

    ReplyDelete
  23. putchka3:45 PM

    Hope I'm not repeating, remember Dominique Dunne? That travesty. God, I miss Dominick. That saying, protection orders don't do crap when you've got an insane person in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Rivenisahasbeen3:46 PM

    The rhetoric of victim blaming after a victim leaves the relationship as in use by Entern:

    I'm glad you got out. If it was that bad. I wish it had been sooner. If you knew they were abusive. What if something happened. Just leave.

    Language is powerful. I'm frankly surprised people can't see the rhetoric being used here. It's not that complicated.

    ReplyDelete
  25. __-__=__4:28 PM

    Check out this stalker thread. Be sure to follow the link that says She's a Redditor : http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2ik0ch/woman_shoots_stalker_after_he_kicks_in_her_door_i/

    ReplyDelete
  26. MissMatador7:08 PM

    This scares me on a Dominique Dunne level, I hope she has security.

    ReplyDelete
  27. putchka9:50 PM

    I miss Dominick Dunne because he was a great, interesting writer. After his daughter was brutally murdered, he took up the cause. Wrote extensively on the ridiculousness of O.J., Peterson trials, etc., from a very personal standpoint. Made a lot of sense, with sarcastic humor. As the father of his beloved daughter, he did what he could, afterwards. Vincent Buglioso (Manson muders D.A.) and Mr. Dunne are my heroes.

    ReplyDelete
  28. MinPinGirl10:18 PM

    How is it permanent if it only lasts 3 years? We need much tougher stalking laws in this country IMHO.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Unknown11:21 PM

    The Joel Steinberg/Hedda Nussbaum situation - anybody over 30 probably knows about it. It only came to light because Steinberg, who was a lawyer, illegally adopted two chidren and eventually killed the little girl who was 5 or 6 at the time. He left Hedda alone with her while the little girl was unconscious and Hedda didn't call for help.

    Her face was so battered, Hedda looked like a prize fighter who'd been in the ring for years.

    Hedda was not prosecuted. She had been completely beaten down physically and psychologically.

    Steinberg got out of prison in 2004. God help me, I keep waiting to hear that somebody has beaten him to death. Couldn't happen to a better person.

    When the little girl's biological mother sued him, his response was that the little girl didn't suffer a lot, since the period when she was dying of the severe head trauma he inflicted on her, was only a few hours. Yes, that was his LEGAL response as a lawyer representing himself.

    He only served 16 years. Should have been a life sentence IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Unknown11:24 PM

    For those who don't know the story, here's the clicky. It's very very awful.

    ReplyDelete

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