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Should you live together before marriage?
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Are you living in the 70s with this?
ReplyDeleteDuh.
ReplyDeleteOther people suck so you should never live with them. That's why I plan on living in a micro house!
ReplyDeleteAt least take a few vacations together, if you are truly incompatible a vacation will illuminate it immediately
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, yes!
ReplyDeleteN/A I would much rather get a pup and drive around the us in a VW bus and camp all of the times.
ReplyDeleteDid It! Loved it. Do it.
DeleteI feel it's whatever works for you. Heck, there are happily married people out there who don't even live together even AFTER marriage for whatever reason. (They find a job in another area far away, etc.)
ReplyDeleteYes with separated bed in the room tho just like they did in the 50's.
ReplyDeleteGet with the programme Enty. Even that latest Duggar girl's fiancé is living with her before marriage. Sort of.
ReplyDeleteFor us it was weekends for a while, then a few days and finally it was engaged and moved into our home together... Its working very well.. There are some Thing you just need to get outa the way before marriage which is why I feel for those Duggar girls..
ReplyDeleteSure, if you want to; no, if you don't want to.
ReplyDeleteAgree with the vacation idea--go on a trip where you're stuck alone together for several hours, preferably in a car while at least 20 minutes late to your destination.
I lived with my husband for three years before we got married. We were together all the time anyways, we wanted to live together, and it seemed pretty ridiculous to pay rent at two places. So, that's what worked for us!
ReplyDeleteAs Tina said above, at least a two week vacation will expose any problems!
ReplyDeleteYou should do whatever you and your SO are comfortable with. I lived with my husband before we were engaged and I'm glad I did. It made the transition to marriage easier.
ReplyDelete@Karen love the comment. Add while PMSing to the car ride and you have yourself a bonus test.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a good idea. Esp. Considering today how it seems folks have forgotten the meaning of commitment, how to appreciate each other just as you are, and the value of respect.
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's harder to be flexible if your in an older age range, meaning mid life - simply because of life and it's knocks up to that point.
living together is way overrated. i like the burton/bonham-carter arrangement. not next door though...around the block.
ReplyDeleteAt least a year.
ReplyDeleteI would offer to help with my kid's rent for a year, rather than help him w/ attorney fees to get out of a bad situation.
I got no issues with it; but at this stage in my life, I own my own home, etc., so it isn't that easy to just pick up and move without knowing we're both committed to the relationship for the long haul. In fact, my insistence on at least an engagement ring before we started buying/selling/merging real estate definitely saved me several more years of wasted time on one Mr. Wrong. Sorry, but if you aren't sure about the relationship, I'm not selling my real estate.
ReplyDeleteI can hardly do a long weekend, there's no way I could live with another man. Those days are over for me.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome fellas.
ABSOLUTELY ….
ReplyDeleteSure if it works for parties involved. But not after like 3 months!!!!!! I read about this quick moving in all the time, usually in an article about murder or abuse. Wait at least a year! That bladerunner guy who murdered his girlfriend- they moved in together after 2-3 months. Too soon!
ReplyDeleteThe ideal living situation would be every couple lives in a semi, one on each side with an adjoining door in the middle. Husband can decorate his side, she can decorate her side and you each have your space, even with kids one day you are on Daddy's side when Mommy needs some sanity LOL
ReplyDeleteand if you got divorced you don't even have to necessarily move
Of course. A loud snorer would be a big NO from me as I am a light sleeper. Bad hygiene is also a big no. I moved in after 3 months of dating only. It was not planned. My flatmate was moving out and I didnt want to live alone so he said to stay with him and it ended up permanent. We dated 4yrs got married and its has been 8 years of marriage so 12 years together.
ReplyDeleteTotally a personal preference.
ReplyDeleteI've lived with all the partners for the most part. The one I married though we lived apart and saw each other about x a week for 3 1/2 yrs. Been together 18. The others it was 9 months before we moved in together. One lasted 10 the other only 4 yrs. No way would I buy a car without a test drive first.
I lived with my now husband before we got engaged, and it worked well. I got a job across the country so he moved out and in with me. We had been dragging our feet about it when we lived back east. I owned a home; he had a cushy condo; neither of us wanted to give up our home.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't buy a house together, though, until we were married. No way am I entering a financial commitment unless we have the legal one first.
Its a preference.
ReplyDeleteI've done it before. Lived together for 7, engaged for 4 of those 7. I broke it off happily. And will happily not live with another dude til we're getting hitched. Other than that... I will enjoy the debauchery of my own place :)
Yes. Either that or sell them a car, because those are the two true tests of friendship.
ReplyDeleteNot a good idea. Plus it takes all the fun out of discovering your partner's idiocyncracies.
ReplyDeleteYES YES YES
ReplyDeleteOr no if you don't fancy it.
Generally: Of course.
ReplyDeletePersonally: In London real estate?
Only if he's got a bigger flat than me. I learned from my parents (happily married 45 years now) that you need to have enough rooms for someone to storm off and cool down. The only option for sulking in my flat would be a kitchen cabinet.
I'm not a gold digger but I'd put up with a lot for separate bathrooms.
Werd!
DeleteI lived with my first husband before marriage and swore I'd never do it again. It just didn't feel right to be living together without marriage. I can't even explain why. Maybe I wanted the full commitment.
ReplyDeleteI didn't live with my current husband til a month after the wedding! My daughter started college a month after the wedding and I didn't want to move her twice. I'm sure that puts me in the minority!
Absolutely. You need to make sure you are compatible in every way - from living habits to sleeping habits to lifestyles to the all important SEX! Dating is when you are all on your best behavior - it's not always realistic.
ReplyDeleteYou should never live with someone for convenience. It should be a conscious decision with an eye towards the future.
ReplyDeleteOnly boyfriend I ever lived with is the one I married. My best friend lived with 3 different boyfriends because lease was up, etc. hopefully the one she lives with now sticks.
Good god, yes. I will strongly encourage my kids to do so!
ReplyDeleteYou are fucking up if you don't...
ReplyDeleteYes! Unless it's my daughter ;)
ReplyDeleteYay! Lady H. is back!
ReplyDelete@yoj ;)
Deletenothing can prepare you for living together like living together can.
ReplyDeleteAt least a year because it was at about that point that some of the things I enjoyed were suddenly no longer part of the package. I understand I'm not alone in my experience.
ReplyDeleteTestify, Cowbulls!
ReplyDelete