Sunday, July 06, 2014

Jessica Simpson Got Married

This story would have been a whole lot more exciting if Jessica Simpson had not gone through with the wedding or if she ended up marrying Eric's fill in best man who also doubles as a trainer. She marries him because he is more motivated. Meanwhile Eric marries some police woman who looks a lot like Mrs. Stiffler and Eric's brother marries a woman who works for MasterCard.

Anyway, Jessica and her boyfriend/baby daddy did get married yesterday. Their son Ace served as ring bearer and Maxwell was the flower girl and was joined by Ashlee Simpson's son Bronx who will probably have to do the same thing when his mom gets married again.


42 comments:

  1. Well. Congratulations to them. Despite your insincerity Enty.

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    1. @violet I'm guessing Enty is bitter about not being invited.

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    2. Lol. Or the fact that presumably you know they're quite happy together.

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    3. @violey the horror at them being happy!!! How dare they?!?! Lol

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    4. I guess that when an unwed mother marries, Enty loses his bacon.

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    5. So it's like when you hear a bell an angel gets it's wings but in reverse....bacon reminds me I'm hungry.

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  2. Well. Congrats to them.

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  3. Ace? Bronx? Boy, do my children ever have mundane names. I am so ashamed.

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    1. @oneeyecharlie as well you should be! How dare you not name them Kumquat or Spade. Or something.

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    2. Hahahahaha! I was a little nervous clicking on that at first. How dare he not want them to be special. That's asinine.

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    3. Now I want to see Radiohead again.
      They put on the best live show.

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    4. Let us never forget little Kal-el Cage and Pilot Inspektor.

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  4. This calls for congratulations! (And probably champagne!)

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  5. Congratulations Jessica----I am sure you made a very beautiful bride. I hope you made him sign a prenup though cause he has a Dean McDermot vide to him~

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  6. I'm glad they're happy together.

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  7. He has a thinner Dean face thing going on too, Derek. Or is that because I just got up?

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  8. Gee, how about a simple "Mazel tov!", BitterEnty?

    Congrats!

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  9. I wonder if her father embarrassed her by bringing a boy toy as his date.

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    1. @Mango - I wonder if he was even invited

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    2. @Mango
      That is Joe's client!! Of course he went to the wedding

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    3. Yes it was in dm he was splashing around pool with his Client#9.

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  10. Enty, you're an ass. Congrats to Jessica and her dude.

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  11. That's lovely. It's always nice to see a happy family. Congratulations.

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  12. This ruins all of his Jessica blind items. That's why he is so upset.

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  13. Wow Enty, I think a few blinds about them splitting up or never going through with the wedding may have been ruined here. Better luck next time!

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  14. So how long does he have to wait to get everything promised in the prenup…because thats exactly how long this marriage will last.
    She should not have married this gold digger

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  15. Congrats to them. Why the snark, Enty?

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  16. Congrats Jessica and groom!

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  17. So for sure its NOT her on the blind yesterday!

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  18. She married a lazy loser, it's really sad. All he's going to do is cheat and take her for millions. She's not a genius but she is a nice person and it's so sad everyone around her is such a crazy loser.

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  19. I give it a year before Eric's cheating causes Jess to divorce.

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  20. This is not gonna last, he's a gold digger and a cheater so let's take bets! I give them 5 years max, but if everyone wants to pretend and wish them well, OK then!

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  21. Don't forget Audio Science and Jermajesty. Or Rob Morrow's kid, Tu. Or Bear Blu. Wow we could probably do this all day. Poor kids.

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  22. She always looks so uncomfortable. Sucking in her gut, wearing clothes that do nothing for her figure....yet people buy her clothes. I will never understand.

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    1. Well, she's a crappy dresser but I actually really like her stuff! I bet she has designers on staff and she probably tweaks their designs.

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  23. astra worthington said...
    This is not gonna last, he's a gold digger and a cheater so let's take bets! I give them 5 years max, but if everyone wants to pretend and wish them well, OK then!



    Hollyweird marriages are measured in dog years, 5 of their years are like 35 years for the rest of the world. That's a huge amount of time.

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  24. It all depends on how long he has to say to collect the prenup…he'll probably try to get her pregnant again, that should raise his take…

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  25. She dumps the wonderful Nick Lachey, and marries this lug.

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  26. She doesn't do the designing…she probably has a meeting or two but she's the face not the talent…

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  27. Anonymous9:03 AM

    he's cute

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