Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Gluten Free Duck Is Just Like All The Gluten Free People You Know

51 comments:

  1. Ive seen enough AFLAC commercials in any case

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  2. I saw gluten free duck and thought it was a cooking movie. LIES. Stupid white duck talking in an annoying voice. I bailed after :26 seconds

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  3. Oh sandy! Would you like another HeisenbReview?

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  4. I will have to decline for both Kristin and I today, what I mean is:

    WE'RE NOT IT(S)!

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  5. Beady evil eyes. There's nothing cute or funny about a duck.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous11:28 AM

      Especially Donald. Spitting all over the place when he talks...

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    2. Or Daffy. He was one evil bastard.

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    3. And don't forget Howard the Duck! He was the craziest of all the ducks!

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    4. Anonymous11:45 AM

      And it's a Well known fact that Huey, Dewey, and Louie were based on the three evil witches in Macbeth.

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  6. Dang that ducks voice is super annoying and whiny. And so is this video.

    She's saying gluten funny too.

    ~fin~

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  7. Yes pleez use small words LadyH

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    1. I...got nuthin then lol
      I'm thinking this is either Enty expressing his white male guilt over yesterday's racial controversies, or he is just punishing us. Either way, my first attempts to post this came up as Conflict edits errors, so I'm starting a conspiracy theory that Enty controls the Bloggersphere system

      Thanks for reminding everyone how painfully annoying white people and their dietary restrictions can be Enty. PS- anyone else see this as an anthropomorphic version of Piper Chapman? (I used that word just for you, sandy!)

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    2. Anonymous12:10 PM

      Not to sound obsequious, but I wholeheartedly concur. The synergistic pairing of voice and appearance was absolutely phenomenal.

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    3. ^5. Well played, sir

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    4. Synergistic is my bullshit bingo woops for uni assignments. I always put it in, at least once, to every paper I write ;)

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    5. Anonymous6:34 PM

      Hey Alita! Nice! I had an English class where I fit "ubiquitous" into everything I handed in. Prof never caught on...

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    6. I see the possibilities, TNC, and shall take that on. Mucho gracias.

      *woops was supposed to be 'winner'

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  8. Duck sounds like a Kardashian.

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  9. There's a duck with a terrible whiny voice...she can't eat 'gloo-en' but an array of other ancient grains are fine....she swears she is not high maintenance....but she is.....'Do you have any quinoa crackers?'....um, no.....cut to beardy dude throwing bread and annoying duck....he wonders what crap she is saying...The End.....oh MO it isn't....cut back to annoying duck who says her name is Gloria Swanson....geddit?? SWAN-son......bud-doom-tish....

    The things I do for youse guys...

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Becky! I didn't know how to write gluten the obnoxious way she was saying it but you totally owned it. Job well done.

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  10. Fuck it. I'm going back to smoking because I read that as "gluten-free dIcks".

    One week of no smoking...

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    Replies
    1. Yay Rhysie!! Stick to dicks, much less chance of lung cancer! Plus, there is no such thing as secondhand, wait, I forgot where I was going with that

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  11. Thanks Sugar!

    Greatest thing to happen to me was a blood test that came back saying I was NOT Coeliac....I hate gluten free fuckers....Mr Mae's boring-as-Chris-Martin sister insists on being gluten free which is why we don't invite her over ever.....let me eat CAKE!!

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  12. No such thing as gluten free dicks. All protein and fat and splooge.

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  13. CONGRATS MEANIE!!!!! Hang in there! You can do it!

    If you need to bitch to feel better, please go ahead and bitch away! Smoking is a beast and you have completed a week already!

    Hats off to ya!

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  14. Don't forget the veins Sandy...plenty of those too!

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  15. Aaaarggghhh...Enough with the freakin' gluten Free shit! Next year it will be something else and everyone will magically be cured of Celiacs disease they never had in the first place.

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  16. Good on YOU Meanie!! Hang in there girl.

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  17. Thanks, BeckyMae, Heisenberg! It's almost like I watched it, but without the misery.

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  18. I did hear a doctor on talk radio complaining about the self diagnosed gluten intolerant people as in people who have never been tested yet, probably not even discussed it with a doctor or allergist. He mentioned they have to scope you to get a look at your innards as part of the diagnosis process.

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  19. Replies
    1. Oh, have you ever prepared geoduck, TTM? Just looking at it skeeves me out, and I'm fairly adventurous.

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    2. I have not, Charlie. They're trying to sell it as King Clam round Vancouver, but the whole looking-like-a-phallic-alien thing just doesn't do it for me. Although I do like to pronounce it! Gooey duck!

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  20. I love my friend dearly, but Jesus effn Christ I hate going out to dinner with her as she had to tell every waiter/ess that she is gluten intolerant. I'm supposed to remember every single thing she can't eat.

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  21. I just had a visit from my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and his girlfriend. And guess what?! They're all gluten-free and lactose intolerant. One brought gluten/dairy free cupcakes for dessert. And what did I serve? PIZZA! They ate every bit of that wheat crust, mozzarella-topped yumminess *while* discussing their various dietary restrictions. REALLY?!?!?!?

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  22. @Meanie I am SO proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it!

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  23. @Meanie, hang in there.

    Three months here, and counting. I feel your frustration.

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  24. @Goober, was that a deliberate menu choice or simply a forgetful one?!

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  25. I'm sorry that so many of you think celiac disease is funny. As someone seriously allergic to wheat and gluten, I don't.

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  26. Ruby and phrancophaux, I don't think celiac disease is funny.

    Looked back through the thread and I don't think anyone was actually laughing at those with celiac disease either.

    More like those who self-diagnose and those who seem to have everything that is trendy/in the news.

    Plus the duck. There was much laughing at the duck.

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  27. @Ruby, I'm sorry for your pain. Thank God your miserable mystery illness has been discovered. Please do not mistake this gentle mockery as directed at you, it isn't.
    This is directed at the "trendies".
    What ever is the next big thing, they have to have/do it too.
    Think jey and Bey-the leather wearing "vegetarians"
    The 70s had reiki
    The 80s had tech
    The 90s had "back to the earth"
    Now, its " I'm so special... I have____( ADD, exotic allergies,etc)
    Because certain people Do have these issues, they must.

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  28. Thanks Sprink and Steampunk Jazz. I feel better now. And you're right the duck is funny.

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  29. Thank you all!!! <3

    *breathes*

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  30. @meanie you go girl! I gave up 8 years ago after17 years of smoking....it was hard but better than staying a dirty, smelly smoker!

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