A man, who is probably from Florida, but was arrested in Tennessee tried to have sex with an ATM. Police in Murfreesboro were called to a bar late Friday night when Lonnie Hutton walked into a bar and took off his pants and started trying to have sex with the ATM in the bar. I'm guessing he thought this was a way to enter his PIN without using his fingers. Staff at the bar called police who told Hutton to sit at a picnic table. The wood or checkerboard pattern must have looked especially erotic to Hutton because he then mounted the table and tried to have sex with it. Police suspected Hutton was drunk. Nooooo. What gave it away? He was charged with public intoxication.
Well, that ATM shouldn't look so damn bangable. There's an early withdrawal joke here somewhere.
ReplyDeleteNo Sugar. He was looking to make a deposit.
DeleteHey O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteATMs are such teases.
"...You and the ATM machine you rode in on"
ReplyDeleteMy milk came out my nose.
DeleteI thought we already covered the daily Tori and Dean story...
ReplyDeleteHey O!
DeleteDECLINED
ReplyDeletei mean, i like money too, but...
ReplyDeleteDoes crap like this happen in other countries? I mean come on.
ReplyDeletelol @sugar and chuckie :p
ReplyDeletewell Sandy Boo has been awfully quiet these days---Nice Mug shot Sandy*jokesjokes*
ReplyDeleteI guess he wanted to "cum into money".
ReplyDeleteI'm here all week. Try the veal. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Hey O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteWhat's with these guys? There was one awhile ago that tried to have sex with the pavement. (Sidewalk). Said he had a thing for Tarmac. Not kidding.
ReplyDeleteEver see that show My Strange Sexual Addiction (I think it's called that). Some dude was fully making out with his 1998 Chevy Monte Carlo named Chase. Some chick also was in love with the Golden Gate Bridge.
DeleteLOL: "His bail was set at $250, meaning the next sweet nothing whispered by his lover may be, ‘insufficient funds’."
ReplyDeleteNo.
DeleteDumb, Wendy.
DeleteI tried to use single syllable words so you'd get it. But then I said syllable. Double dumb! How was church?
The guy is a sucker for subliminal messaging. Never should have set 3825 as his PIN number.
ReplyDeleteon TLC there was a guy who was in love with his car and banged it...
ReplyDeleteJinx derek! He's all like, "mainly it’s just a lot of rubbing up against it. It involves masturbating as well.”
DeleteAs if I wasn't germaphobic enough already....
ReplyDeleteI hope the ATM at least threw him $20 for his efforts.
ReplyDeleteNope. Insult to injury- he still had to pay the Service Charge.
Delete@Sugar---haha. Well not everyone can afford a Oscar winning yacht girl! and women can be a real handfull sometimes...
ReplyDeleteNo Cyril'a the ATM stiffed him.
ReplyDeleteThe minute insurance companies stop paying for boner pills, drunk old guys humping everything will stop.
ReplyDeleteSo, never.
Gotta have sex for dem bills sometime.
ReplyDelete@crila16, bloody spellcheck .
ReplyDeleteShaddup Derek!!!!!! There was a guy down here in the county next to mine who wanted a marriage license to marry his PC last week because he loved the porn on it. He was taken to the hospital for evaluation instead.
ReplyDeleteWell if that ATM didn't dress so slutty & lead him on.
ReplyDeleteTalk about a needled*ck.
ReplyDeleteGuy in Sweden was caught on CCTV banging a bicycle. I can sort of see it. This is my bike and you can see for yourself she's a beauty and some times, well ....
ReplyDeleteFor a while he'll be accepting deposits instead if making them.
ReplyDeleteThat ATM must have been hard up! Look at him. Unless he put some money in first.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are too funny! LOL
ReplyDeleteI gotta say I really feel for the ATM, one minute its all about the ATM & then next thing you know dude turns around & is all over the table like really what a Skank!
ReplyDeleteThe table must have been showing more leg.
DeleteSave a cowboy ride an ATM?
ReplyDeleteTres bien, Tina.
DeleteHeard of a guy in high school who tried doing it with a vacuum cleaner. So I guess an ATM would represnt a technological update.
ReplyDeleteHeeey, didn't SingleManInLoveWithLove say on the Swank BI that all men see vaginas as how much they are worth? Reader Photo Day!! Woot!
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely nothing to add to this string of posts. All you guys are too bloody funny. Take a bow.
ReplyDeletewasn't this in Bad Grandpa and the fake dong was stuck?
ReplyDeleteDeposit or withdrawal?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he thought it was a sperm bank?
ReplyDeleteTrue Q: where is there a slot to fit any penii? Maybe he was just a dancing machine.
ReplyDeleteName of bar please?
ReplyDeleteCum.on.in.
Open all night
Sluttybuddy.
@count where r u
I love the victim shaming that continues after every assault case.
DeleteLike the atm. Was being overly suggestive. Or just asking for pin# not penis. Some people always have to slut.shame.the.victim.
#shameonyou.
"I thought it said enter your PEEN number."
ReplyDelete