Blind Items Revealed
December 27, 2013
This former A list singer/celebrity who is now just an A list celebrity who does other things well too was having drinks with her boyfriend at a bar this week and when she thought he was starting to get too drunk said, "I had an enema today for you so you better not get drunk and pass out."
Jessica Simpson (I just want to know if she was joking or not)
Not!
ReplyDeleteI am so going to use that line the next time I'm out trying score with the ladies!
ReplyDeleteHeh heh. Smart girl.
ReplyDeleteHey, she went to the effort to get all spic & span downstairs, Sister has a right to pitch a bitch. I don't blame her a bit. I'd say the exact same thing under those circumstances.
ReplyDeletesomething John Mayer turned her onto??????
ReplyDeleteKnowing Jess (if this blind actually happened), she wasn't joking and was 100% for real :D Girlfriend loves to get freaky in between the sheets according to her exes and former flings! *Sexual Napalm anyone??*
ReplyDeleteYep. Count will be thrilled. Wilmer outed Asslee as a fan too, hence the name...
DeleteLady Has - I thought that nickname stemmed from her being an asshole. Oh well, live and learn.
DeleteDon't marry him honey….
ReplyDeleteIs that the definition of "sexual naplam"?
ReplyDeleteD, I'm not sure either and I've always been afraid to ask because I never really understood if that was a compliment or not!
DeleteMe too! I didn't get it but didn't want to seem stupid by asking. .
Delete@count- can you translate please??
I third this...at first I thought it was a dig as js got mad and it meant "sex killer" but then I thought maybe she was like so good he could die?...confusing..the playboy article didn't really explain either...
Delete@Count is going to love reading this.
ReplyDeleteReading this I just developed some sympathy for young Miss Simpson.
ReplyDeleteNo more babies.
ReplyDeleteI just want to know how loudly she said it.
ReplyDeleteI mean, can you imagine being the waiter walking up to ask if they want more bread? Or the couple at the next table trying to have a quiet night out?
Geez
Jess is a MESS!
ReplyDeletetehehehe
I thought that the back door was how she maintained her virginity....
ReplyDeleteBack Door Beauty, anyone?
Spoken like a true Christian girl from Texass, @Jazz! (I was toooootally thinking the same thing)
DeleteBahahahahaha!!!! Well at least she's thinking ahead!
ReplyDeleteNo! She's thinking behind. Hindsight is 20/20 eh?
DeleteHello!!!!
ReplyDeleteI need FSP and my safe place.
ReplyDeleteI pity that poor waiter now.
SB
DeleteIO
DO
EB
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it...
ReplyDeleteShe might have used more sex-specific terminology like "anal douche". Made clear her intentions, unlike the Goopster's high colonics.
ReplyDelete#teambutters
ReplyDeleteIn the bum no babies!
ReplyDeleteOh Jess.
ReplyDeleteN
ReplyDeleteO
Boo
DeleteOh, she was serious. She dated John Mayer!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHeya paris! Grats for the Dlist win last week :) Hope things are looking up (don't look at FSP's avi)
ReplyDeleteWas she preggers at the time? If so I am impressed.
ReplyDeleteHot, rich, dumb as a rock and willing to go the extra mile to make sexy time enjoyable. She's a keeper.
ReplyDeleteWell...I guess she likes having nice clean pooper.
ReplyDeleteI hope dude was getting some preggo anal. That is one of the things on my bucket list that will probably never happen :(
ReplyDeleteHey Bacon Ranch! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhat we do for love......
ReplyDeleteall porn stars do the enema thang before filming or at least the Seymore Butt girls do
ReplyDeleteaccording to his reality show which I found fascinating
ReplyDeleteAccording to my boyfriends most favoritest quote ever..."you can't get pregnant in the butt, Courtney." Doesn't mean I can't punch him in the 'nads for trying!
ReplyDeleteShe wasn't joking whenever I look at her I see smelly cat!
ReplyDeleteDamn!!!! Lmfao, fuckin a he needs to really check between his legs to see his penis is still intact. I hope its worth the payxheck because hes the personification of a bitchboy.
ReplyDelete@Tina: Porn whores dump out the enema solution and use distilled water for enemas. The solution dries you out, which can lead to injury, and tap water contains bacteria, which can lead to infection.
ReplyDelete@Sugarbread: I have no idea what "sexual napalm" means. I figured it was something along the lines of "scorched Earth" like there is nothing left when she's done. She wears you out.
Mickey has the best blog ever.
ReplyDelete#PrincessPlug
Here are some good tumblrs, Mickey.
ReplyDeleteLife of a Dominant Male, lots of gifs
Two Kinksters, tons of pics
Farm Dog, pet training subs
Vintage Booty, nude pics from 60's/70's and earlier
Puppy Girls, more sub pets
So much for Yahoo leaving tumblr alone. 3 photo blogs I rummage through for material every couple months appear to have been deaded.
Up the bum, no harm done. If its done right of course.
ReplyDeleteMe too!
ReplyDeleteNot joking and didn't learn it from Mayer. He continued what she started with Knoxville.
ReplyDeleteSorry, just don't get the appeal. It's not that great, imo. Plus, as my gaybor likes to say, "I don't find your adult diaper a turn on." We've both seen the pants' stainers, here in the ATL.
ReplyDeleteTry a vibe on the clit while engaging in it and you may think differently.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta take tons of dick in the butt before adult diapers enter into it. Even then I would guess most of the adult diaper types either took heavy damage from doin it wrong or were into fisting or other sorts of extreme insertion. Nina Hartley been taking huge porn dick in the butt for 30yrs and she dont wear no Depends.
I thought the intent of the sexual napalm remark meant to imply that Jess has a hot box that well melt a dick!
ReplyDeleteI guess this goes back to the old theory - often applied to good "Christian girls" - that she retained her virginity when dating and engaged to Nick Lachey by practicing sodomy instead.
ReplyDeleteThat is life, Kathleen. If you want some fun, you gotta pick your sin.
ReplyDeleteI still haven't found any backing (heh) for my Anal Sex seminar for Butt Only Virgins. The only thing worse than a young girl not saving her vagina for Jesus is a young girl having her butt cherry destroyed by some young tool who don't know what he's doing back their.
I sent some proposals to youth groups and televangelists, trying to develop a partnership, but have not heard back from any of them. Unless I get some up front money, I'm going to need to rely on volunteers to assist in demonstrations during some of the sessions. That will require screening and selfies and hygiene checklists. I prefer not to get involved with all of that.
I am also considering holding these seminars in conjunction with Purity Balls. Wouldn't every lil bible thumping bim like to become knowledgeable about alternatives before they pledge they pledge their vagina to daddy and Jesus? So a day time Anal Sex seminar, prior to the evening Purity Ball seems like a match made in heaven.
"I guess this goes back to the old theory - often applied to good "Christian girls" - that she retained her virginity when dating and engaged to Nick Lachey by practicing sodomy instead."
ReplyDeleteVery possibly true. I also wonder if those of us who waited a really long time and took our virginity very, very seriously are the ones who just become kinkier and kinkier with time.
@Count; Are u reading Stoya's blog and got that thing about dumping out the enema solution from there? I swear to god I read that in her blog a couple of weeks ago :O
ReplyDeletePlottwist; u are pretending to be a dude and actually Stoya *waves*
@Shit: no, Sasha Grey on YouTube. She had a few different short videos answering common questions.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why there's an implication that Christians don't (or are bad if they) have sex, even kinky. love is love is love, right?
ReplyDelete