Thursday, March 20, 2014

Today's Blind Items - The Assistant

This almost A list mostly movie actor is doing lots of press for his new film. It should catapult him to A list, but it is a shaky way to be an A lister. Anyway, in the background you may have noticed a very familiar looking woman. Maybe you thought to yourself she is a PR person, either for the actor or for the studio. Nope. She is a very plain looking, nondescript looking woman because she hides her features to some extent by using wigs and also wearing baggy clothing. One day she might be a blonde and the next day a brunette, but she is always there. The face never changes, but the accouterments do. She is known as The Assistant. Seriously, just like that with the caps and everything. She gets paid a lot of money to do one thing and that is to make the person she is working for happy. They are always big box office movies. These are movies that cost a ton of money to make and need a lot of press and a lot of commitments from the star. The Assistant is paid by the studio and she is not cheap. She costs about $25K a day and has a minimum fee of 30 days. She is generally hired when the guy, and it is always guys she works with is single and been known to get in trouble with drugs and booze or has a problem with getting caught up with too many women, or not showing up to places on time. The Assistant keeps him on schedule. Very little or no drinking. She keeps him away from other women and clubs. She gets him to the right place at the right time in the right clothes. She is his mealtime companion and his bedtime companion. She never leaves his side the entire time. She makes herself look different each day so the actor doesn't have to answer questions about a girlfriend. She never looks the same two days in a row. Often she can go a week without looking remotely the same. Some people say she used to work for the FBI or the CIA with the way she can change her appearance but others say she is just an actress who could change her look but wasn't a very good actress on screen.


66 comments:

  1. How aboot Theo James?

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  2. So look for someone carrying a taser?

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  3. That's dumb; why can't he just say "that's not my girlfriend, she's my assistant"?

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    1. My guess is because it would be weird for this same lady to be the assistant to multiple movie stars.

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    2. Because he (they) don't want it known that he/they need a glorified babysitter?

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  4. How mysterious. I love the word accouterments.

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    1. Me too, but I'd have preferred Enty to spell it right ; )

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  5. Imma switching to Chris Evans

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  6. Chris Evans Captain America

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  7. If this is real, I am very impressed. Does she do her own disguises?

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    1. MM- at $25k a day she can afford a makeup artist.

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  8. Shia LeDouche and the nymphomaniac movie.

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  9. I hope this chick has amazing health coverage because with all these std-ridden actors she is taking her life in her hands

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  10. Sounds like a great gig.

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    1. Depending obviously on the mark ... But ... Yeah!

      RDJ - OK. But LiLo would be a low point. I don't wanna @2@ with her.

      Hell I don't wanna cheek2cheek (face) with her.

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  11. Chris Evans is my guess

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  12. How do I sign up for this job?!?!?!

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  13. This is so screwed up in so many ways...

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  14. Where do I sign up…? This is a dream job.

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  15. I don't know, but I'd love to have this job. Any studios reading, contact me!

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  16. I don't know who the guy is, but I'm convinced the chameleon is Jennifer Garner

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  17. What's "a shaky way to be an A lister"? That phrase is a big old clue, but I don't know what it means!

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  18. You ladies that all want this job do realize that in order to keep the talent diverted from his other vices that it probably means engaging into whatever perversion that actor is into in the bedroom. Why do you think the studio is paying her- to keep him out of public trouble by being his dream slut whenever he wants.

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    1. For me to turn down $25k a day x 30 days, it wld have to be pretty pervy for me to say no. Im not doing any drugs, he has to be clean and have his teeth and no anal stuff. There ya go.

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    2. auntliddy -And there you go with the conditions- you would be out.

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  19. Her job title sounds like "mom/gf/sober coach/dominatrix/moral compass/chameleon".

    I want in on this gig. She can have the sex part. I'll do everything else for the bargain basement price of $1k/day.

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    1. unfortunately the sex part is probably the key- his kink could be domination but could also be submission, anal, bdsm, watersports - whatever he wants.

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  20. That's a helluva gig for the money. Where was this job when I was 25?!

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  21. so are we guessing him or her????

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  22. That's Ok @Texas, I probably wouldn't get the job anyway, I am flat chested. : (

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    1. Jessi - it is probably more about attitude and maybe he's not into big tits. You probably got a shot if you're up for anything freaky.

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  23. I'm confused though...is she a girlfriend to each of these guys...or is she really just an assistant?

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    1. Crila - she is paid the studio to keep him happy and supposedly out of trouble during press for the movie. She must have a certain presence and persuasive skills but probably just into giving him whatever sexually that he wants and must be good enough at it that he behaves in order to get more. At the end of the contract I wonder if the actor pays to keep her around.

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  24. If I were an actor, I would pretend to have booze and drug problems so I could get a comped whore from the studio.

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  25. "Shaky way to be an A lister" made me think of the Twilight cast and how they were A listers only for the duration of their teen movie franchise, but not for anything else, and have all dropped off since it finished. Shaky because teens are fickle and move on to the next thing quickly.

    So then that made me think of Theo James.

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    1. But Divergent doesn't sound like twilight. I think he has lots of projects lined up. I though Shia leDouche because of problem child rep and Nymphomaniac movie might be controversial and a risky way to get back to A.

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  26. That sounds like a great movie plot. Someone get typing!

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  27. Exactly CharRicho. I think this is supposed to be Theo, but I wasn't aware that he had a bad rep. I'd do this for free to be with Theo James.

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  28. CO$ should snap her up.

    What if an actor is gay? Do you think there is a male The Assistant in that case?

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  29. that would make for a great movie plot

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  30. This blind item is BS. NO studio would pay that kind of money per day unless he was a brad pitt.

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    1. Of course they would pay for a big movie.
      One day lost on a set can easily run $250,000, so paying 10% of that per day is cheap insurance, plus they get to find a way to creatively write that off.
      Both Marilyn Monroe & Liz Taylor were know to screw up shoots for days at a time.
      I'm sure there are a whole bunch of actors that do that now, by demanding all sorts of perks on set & off.
      The Assistant is far cheaper & more importantly, more reliable!

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  31. @Shotinthedark, haha, I thought the same thing.

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  32. Enty this may be my favorite nlind to date. Very very interesting. . Hmm

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  33. Shia has a girlfriend. Is Chris Evans still involved? I have no clue, but I truly think I missed my calling!! Lol

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  34. I don't buy this one, although I can see a studio paying a minder. But at that price I would imagine The Assistant is a former legal enforcement person of some sort who still has the pull to get someone out of trouble, find the right discreet hookers, drugs,whatever. Possibly even someone still in that job. They'd have to be a fixer more than an assistant, to justify $25,000 per day (which seems like chicken feed in my humble).

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  35. I gotta be honest, it does sound like a fun gig!

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  36. What is this detective cadget realness

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  37. If she can go a week without looking remotely the same, how is she a familiar face?

    Accouterments sounds like redneck jewelry.

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  38. Look at Liddy, trying to angle an upsell for anal. OK, $30k/day and a case of Prep H per month.

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    1. Count, ill the $25k and skip the hiney action.

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  39. This sounds like a good job. Not sure about the amount she is getting paid. That is pretty steep.

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  40. Dealing with some of these actors I think she probably earns every penny of her fee. If you want discretion you better pay for someone who is professional.

    I wonder how much do bodyguards get paid as a rule.

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  41. Ray donnovan. Season 2

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  42. What the heck does "shaky way to be an A lister" mean?

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  43. OK so who's out doing the big press tours right now? What big movies are coming out besides Captain America and Divergent?
    Let's CSI this shit out...

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  44. Cumberbatch and the blonde saggy booby lady in the deep v-neck dress at the Oscars.

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  45. Russell Crowe/Noah's Ark.

    he has a history of being drunk and being violent. he is separated at the moment so maybe he wants to stay in his wife's good graces.

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  46. Andrew Garfield - promoting The Amazing Spider-Man 2 world-wide, currently in Australia. It's a shaky way to become an A lister via a franchise as often you drop down the list when the franchise re-boots/re-casts.

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  47. James is probably right. And for 25K a day, I'd be willing to do a lot. Anal, peed on, tied up, etc. I was married 14 yrs to a psychopathic wife beater. This sounds pretty easy. I don't have to enjoy it. Besides, the truth is, I'm betting 80% of them just want a mother. That seems to be what the ones that can get hot ass all the time really need

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