A To D List - The Rankings - Part Eight

Liza Minelli – Former A list mostly movie actress who could do anything anywhere and now is a little too short for life’s big events.
Lupita Nyong'o – B list mostly movie actress who will be a B list even if we never see her in another film. Always a possibility. Fame can be fleeting.

Madonna – Permanent A list entertainer(singer) who tried her hand at acting and directing and must have used someone else’s hand because it was awful.
Maggie Gyllenhaal – B list mostly movie actress who you always keep remembering in one role despite any other movie she stars in.
Maks and Val Chmerkovskiy – The first is an A list reality star on an A list network reality show and Val is a B lister. Both foreign born. Both always willing to have sex with any female anytime anywhere.
Malcom McDowell – Former A list mostly movie actor who faded away until a cable television role plucked him back into mainstream consciousness. A brilliant actor.
Marcia Gay Harden – B list mostly television actress who should be A list because of her talent. An Emmy win from one of her noms would have put her a win away from an EGOT.
Mariah Carey – Married A list everything except acting. Diva skills are an A+.
Mario Lopez – B list talk show host who you could make an argument should be an A list talk show host but then he would just hit on more women.
Marion Cotillard – Foreign born B list mostly movie actress who has the amazing name when she says it anyway. When I say it people think I am ordering collard greens.
Marisa Tomei – Permanent B list mostly movie actress who most people think should have stayed in network television.
Mariska Hargitay – B list mostly television actress who has been a fixture for close to two decades on one of those long running shows that will be around longer than a Paris Hilton STD. Brilliant actress who I enjoy staring at.
Marc Anthony – A list entertainer(singer) in his first language and B list in all others who manages to bed some of the world’s most beautiful women. They probably are blind and we don’t know it.
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen – Former A list tweeners who thankfully don’t act any longer and are content to drink coffee and dress like homeless people who managed to fin a fur in a dumpster.
Mary Tyler Moore – Former A+ list mostly television actress turned studio mogul turned actress who only gets remembered at black tie events where they present awards. Brilliant actress.
Matthew Perry – Former A list mostly television actor who is a great actor and blew multiple chances. Star of one of my favorite canceled network shows of all-time.
Matthew Rhys – B list mostly television actor who gets confused with the lush actor and is on a second hit show of his career.
Megan Fox – Married B list mostly movie actress who is only allowed out of the house during daylight hours and only when accompanied by her tool of a husband.
Mel Gibson – Former A+ list mostly movie actor who has a problem with certain groups of people and isn’t shy about sharing that while drunk.
Meryl Streep – A list mostly movie actress. The Academy Award should be changed to her name.
Michael Bay – A list movie director who makes box office explosions as big as his love of hookers.
Michael Douglas – Former A+ list mostly movie actor who tries to sleep with women at a 10-1 ratio of movies completed.
Michael J. Fox- Former A-list mostly television actor who struck gold twice in television but hasn’t been able to do so since his peak a couple of decades ago.
Michael Keaton – Former A list mostly movie actor who is tied for or maybe just a close second place in the best performance of this character.
Michelle Rodriguez – B list television and movie actress who got lucky with two roles. Blew one of them and may get kicked out of the other one.
Michelle Williams – B list mostly movie actress who gets a lot of play because of her name and what happened to her but is no greater than lots of other actresses who also got their starts on a great show which should have a reunion.
Mick Jagger – Permanent A list entertainer(singer) who loves women as much as he does lifts.