@derek I'll see your Sir, and raise you a ma'am. I die a little inside when I get ma'amed. And I'm usually saying a silent prayer that the offender is from the South
You are given the DVD complete series set of a show you loved in your childhood, settle down with your Godsons, and every disc begins with the words "Technical anomalies are inherent in historical footage" HISTORICAL FOOTAGE???!!! It's 35/40 years old, not freaking Hindenburg crash footage!
But, I did threaten to call the police on a bunch of teenage hooligans who were drinking and smoking outside of my house when the kids of a trashy neighbor were holding a party in January. It was the ONE night I went to bed before midnight and just needed some peace and quiet. My 5-foot-2, 112 pound self went medieval on their asses, and they fled the premises in 2 seconds flat and apologized. My husband, who was watching True Detective could not believe I took matters into my own hands and told me to never do that again while laughing. All I can say is, do not fuck with me when I have my period. I felt badass, old, bitchy and brave all at once. Fucking teenagers.
When fashions come back around again and you laugh at the kids who think they're being so clever and cutting edge in wearing it (I'm looking at you, 80s fashion adoptees who are teenagers).
When your kids announce they just don't get "your generations" sense of humor when introducied to the holiday classic, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. True story, unfortunately. It happened at my in-law's house when they were babysitting for us while we went the the hubby's work Xmas party this year, so they thought their dig about "your generation" was directed at their grandparents, but the reason they chose that movie was specifically because they were sure kids would love this movie as much as their dad & his brothers always did, so the comment applies to my generation as well. Apparently my kids weren't having it, were not amused in the least, and actually asked them to just turn it off about half way through...
You can no longer pull off an all-nighter...Hubby & I stayed up till the very wee hours on Friday playing darts & having extra cocktails knowing kids were safe in bed & would be leaving first thing Sat morning to go on a quick vacay with the grandparents & we'd have the next day to recover. Cut to 5am & one kid throwing up. Vacay postponed & MamaRay on emergency barf bucket status for the next 24 hours... Little ones all finally ready to hit the road about noon on Sunday. Hubby & I literally laid down to nap as soon as they drove off & did not get up until time for work Monday morning.
@PotPourri, LOL with the Eagles comment. I went to see Heaven 17, a great 80s band, on a weeknight, and they started at 8:30. The vast majority of the crowd was aged 35-55 and appeared to have either a babysitter waiting at home, an office to be at the next morning, or both. At the end of the concert they said, "We'll be back in town soon!" and I thought, next time you're going to have to play the Early Bird Special. Maybe a 6pm show.
Thanks, Meanie. I had the pleasure of seeing DEVO twice in the last few years. Once, I even went alone and had maybe the best concert experience of my life.
Its Just U - I was thinking that same thing about wardrobes. I still have my 1980s jeans with the tapered legs (like skinny jeans of today) and contrasting colors of denim, but those pants and my butt aren't on speaking terms. Only reason I'm not more upset about this is I got the pants when I was 13 or 14.
Listening to CBC radio; radio guy just asked woman how old she is and who's her role model, her reply: 20 & Will I Am. BEK (I can't spell so I certainly can't spell his name) - radio guy stunned and so was the listener. Radio didn't follow up with a question, there was just the silence of a generation gap.
when you know more celeb gossip than your 20 something kids do........
when you start thinking mealtime seems so much more normal early bird style.........ala the Seinfelds
you start wanting to lecture every person in a service capacity about doing their job to the best of their ability (cashiers, clerks, waitresses) and then realizing how you must sound to them......
I could go on......but that would be whining......
When you do not need or want any new technology and get annoyed when things change. I made the change from VHS to DVD but I refuse to update my movie collection anymore!
Yep, the last few gigs I've been to have been reformations....The Specials, Nik Kershaw, Kim Wilde, Lloyd Cole and the Commotions.....
I live down the road from one of Sydney's most popular music venues and I feel awful old when I walk past and don't recognise the name of the band playing that night, which it's it increasingly is! I thought Imagine Dragons was a kiddy show like the Wiggles just with dragons! Sad...
When your doing yard work bending over pulling weeds and get honked at.... & you clap and cheer and run to tell anyone that will listen!! Back in the day they would have gotten the stink eye.
When your friends have been discussing for a few years how you, as the youngest, will apparently be looking after them in the group home (one we buy, not a nursing home). The women do outnumber the men, so we will be having hot male nurses, hot male gardeners, and hot male home handymen! (We're in our 40's!!!!)
You can tell how strong the gravitational pull is anywhere on planet earth by taking off your bra.
...you become older than the grown-ups on the TV shows you grew up watching as a kid. The first show to do that to me was a Cheers rerun a few years back. Norm was having a birthday and when Coach asked him how old he was he was YOUNGER than me...and I watched that episode when it originally aired in the 80s. I went into a two week ice cream binge over that.
@feraltart my friends and I have a Golden Girls house too! I once made a joke plan of it for a friends birthday about a decade ago...more of a reality now though. Here's to hot pool boys and daiquiris in our dotage!
When your son asks you how old you were when your parents got you a cell phone and you have to explain that they didn't have those when you were young. And then you either get a blank or horrified stare in return. Sigh.
The caption in Random Photos about Debbie Harry looking great as she nears 70. SEVENTY?!?! Debbie Harry? Where does the time go? I had the little 45 of "Call Me" that I played on my portable record player constantly. My friends and I felt so sophisticated because we'd heard that the song came from a movie that had a "MAN HOOKER" in it!!! Stroke the pearls!!!
teenagers call you SIR! I HATE that
ReplyDelete@derek
DeleteI'll see your Sir, and raise you a ma'am. I die a little inside when I get ma'amed. And I'm usually saying a silent prayer that the offender is from the South
When you recognized the original song sampled in a current track.
ReplyDeleteYou live in an old folks' home?
ReplyDeleteWhen you have to start putting your Scotch in a sippy cup
ReplyDeleteWhen you don't need your Mom to log you onto the computer. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, excuse me! I thought that said old ENOUGH! Tee-hee!
DeleteU have to explain the jokes in the Simpsons reruns to kids & they still don't get it
ReplyDeleteWhen you're older than your doctor. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. What was the question?
ReplyDeleteAlong the lines of Montana, when they start remaking movies and you were around for the original version. Footloose, anyone?
ReplyDeleteYou say, 'Oh I love you' when someone cards you.
ReplyDeleteWhat's that, sonny??? Do you want some hard candy?
ReplyDeleteYou are given the DVD complete series set of a show you loved in your childhood, settle down with your Godsons, and every disc begins with the words "Technical anomalies are inherent in historical footage"
ReplyDeleteHISTORICAL FOOTAGE???!!! It's 35/40 years old, not freaking Hindenburg crash footage!
You remember when Madonna wore the same gloves she wears now!
ReplyDeleteWhen mid-sentence, you suddenly forget what you were talking about :-(
ReplyDeleteWhen you find out that you're older than Justin Bieber's parents. Ouch.
ReplyDeleteHard core rap holds no interest at ALL for me
ReplyDelete...you have crushes on the News Anchors.
ReplyDeleteNope not true, I had a crush on Tom Brokaw when I was ten
DeleteWhen 11:00 Pm on a Friday is a late night out.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are cracking me up!
ReplyDeleteI'll add...
When you tell your teenage sons "Sorry, we used up all of your allotted fun back in the 80's"
And when you realize how very thankful you are, that nobody had smart phones back in the day.
We can truly say "Pictures or it didn't happen!!!" and know our secrets are very safe ;)
Bwahhhhh - parissucks. Yours is funny.
ReplyDeleteI am not old god damn it.
But, I did threaten to call the police on a bunch of teenage hooligans who were drinking and smoking outside of my house when the kids of a trashy neighbor were holding a party in January. It was the ONE night I went to bed before midnight and just needed some peace and quiet. My 5-foot-2, 112 pound self went medieval on their asses, and they fled the premises in 2 seconds flat and apologized. My husband, who was watching True Detective could not believe I took matters into my own hands and told me to never do that again while laughing. All I can say is, do not fuck with me when I have my period. I felt badass, old, bitchy and brave all at once. Fucking teenagers.
Ha! Susan, that's awesome! It made me think of this: Hey, kids!...
DeleteWhen fashions come back around again and you laugh at the kids who think they're being so clever and cutting edge in wearing it (I'm looking at you, 80s fashion adoptees who are teenagers).
ReplyDeleteLOL at 'historical footage', @Mari. So true!
When everything you hear on the radio sounds like shit.
ReplyDeleteTweezing chin hairs - the horror!
ReplyDeleteI made my husband swear Bible that he'll pluck my chin hairs if I get too old. .. He swore
DeleteWhen the Play the Beastie Boys on the classic rock station.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhen you don't know anyone on the Grammies.
ReplyDeleteI have a slew of others:
ReplyDeleteWhen the majority of your friends are getting divorced or are on their second marriage.
When your piano students have never heard of Billy Joel or the Beatles. But I really just mark that off as bad parenting.
When drinking a cup of coffee at dinner keeps you up all fucking night.
When you DVR Jimmy Fallon's first Tonight Show because you know you won't stay up for the whole thing. (That's this girl.)
ReplyDeleteWhen your old middle school has been made into a museum.
ReplyDelete...when you don't know who the musical guest on "SNL" is. (Or maybe even the host, for that matter.)
ReplyDeleteAnother that couldn't ~~possibly~~ pertain to me at all, LOL:
ReplyDeleteWhen the car you bought brand-new is older than your boss.
Susan - I way misread your last sentence! I saw it as "keeps you up fucking all night" and couldn't figure out what the problem was!
When you and your co-workers stop for happy hour and are ready to leave to go home and go to bed and the young crowd is just showing up to party.
ReplyDeleteLMAO - Zeeky.
ReplyDeleteWhen you start adding the word "the" to nouns that don't need it. As in, "When I was watching the Netflix last night....."
ReplyDeleteThis.
DeleteWhen your kids announce they just don't get "your generations" sense of humor when introducied to the holiday classic, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. True story, unfortunately. It happened at my in-law's house when they were babysitting for us while we went the the hubby's work Xmas party this year, so they thought their dig about "your generation" was directed at their grandparents, but the reason they chose that movie was specifically because they were sure kids would love this movie as much as their dad & his brothers always did, so the comment applies to my generation as well. Apparently my kids weren't having it, were not amused in the least, and actually asked them to just turn it off about half way through...
ReplyDeleteYou want to go see the Eagles on Tour, but you're not sure if you want to stay out until Midnight on a Friday.
ReplyDeleteYou can no longer pull off an all-nighter...Hubby & I stayed up till the very wee hours on Friday playing darts & having extra cocktails knowing kids were safe in bed & would be leaving first thing Sat morning to go on a quick vacay with the grandparents & we'd have the next day to recover. Cut to 5am & one kid throwing up. Vacay postponed & MamaRay on emergency barf bucket status for the next 24 hours... Little ones all finally ready to hit the road about noon on Sunday. Hubby & I literally laid down to nap as soon as they drove off & did not get up until time for work Monday morning.
ReplyDeleteWhen you get up to show them how it's REALLY done, and then sit right back down before you make a fool of yourself
ReplyDelete@PotPourri, LOL with the Eagles comment. I went to see Heaven 17, a great 80s band, on a weeknight, and they started at 8:30. The vast majority of the crowd was aged 35-55 and appeared to have either a babysitter waiting at home, an office to be at the next morning, or both. At the end of the concert they said, "We'll be back in town soon!" and I thought, next time you're going to have to play the Early Bird Special. Maybe a 6pm show.
ReplyDeleteI do the "the" thing, too. Ha.
ReplyDeleteWhen you wake up on your 32nd birthday, only to find out that Bob Casale from DEVO has died. So sad. RIP.
ReplyDeleteNo!! :( I remember seeing them play back in the early '80s. That's how old I am! RIP
DeleteHappy Birthday anyway, annaaannnaaaa! :)
DeleteThanks, Meanie. I had the pleasure of seeing DEVO twice in the last few years. Once, I even went alone and had maybe the best concert experience of my life.
DeleteWhen your favourite clothes at the back of the wardrobe come back into style. But you can't fit into them anymore.
ReplyDeleteWhen the little baby bagging groceries says, "Yes, ma'am!"
ReplyDeleteOr you can't talk your way out of a traffic ticket…that's painful..
ReplyDeleteWhen you're glad to take a nap, and when your eyes change and there's nothing you can do about it (around 40).
ReplyDeleteYou're older than your doctor, your boss, your minister and the President.
ReplyDeleteIts Just U - I was thinking that same thing about wardrobes. I still have my 1980s jeans with the tapered legs (like skinny jeans of today) and contrasting colors of denim, but those pants and my butt aren't on speaking terms. Only reason I'm not more upset about this is I got the pants when I was 13 or 14.
ReplyDeleteListening to CBC radio; radio guy just asked woman how old she is and who's her role model, her reply: 20 & Will I Am. BEK
ReplyDelete(I can't spell so I certainly can't spell his name) -
radio guy stunned and so was the listener. Radio didn't follow up with a question, there was just the silence of a generation gap.
when the cashier at the grocery store doesn't bother to check your I.D.
ReplyDeleteI'm older than my doctor, but I'm younger than the President! (But older than FLOTUS.)
ReplyDeletePantera are considered classic rock
ReplyDeleteall of these
ReplyDeletewhen you know more celeb gossip than your 20 something kids do........
when you start thinking mealtime seems so much more normal early bird style.........ala the Seinfelds
you start wanting to lecture every person in a service capacity about doing their job to the best of their ability (cashiers, clerks, waitresses) and then realizing how you must sound to them......
I could go on......but that would be whining......
When Buzzfeed obsesSively makes nostalgic lists about the decade you were born in.
ReplyDeleteWhen you do not need or want any new technology and get annoyed when things change. I made the change from VHS to DVD but I refuse to update my movie collection anymore!
ReplyDeleteWhen the musics too loud
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Buzzfeed, look what is making the internet rounds.
ReplyDelete1) People refer to you as "m'aam".
ReplyDelete2) When you hear Donny Osmond talking about his son getting a driver's license. T
hat happened about 10 years ago.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe new host of the Tonight Show is the exact same age as you o_o
ReplyDelete... when your kid asks you what the decade you graduated in was like, because she has to dress for it for "Oldies Day".
ReplyDelete... when you ask someone to name the 4 Beatles, and they can't.
All of your children are older than you were when you married -- and you were not a spring chick when you married. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteWhen you have to start trimming the hairs in your nose and ears.
ReplyDeleteWhen you think a chick is too young and she turns out to be 25.
When someone who's diaper you changed is taller than you.
When the bartender was born the year you graduated high school.
When you know you have t-shirts older than the stripper giving you a lap dance.
2 words that DEFINE being old: Gray Pubes.
I shave em, so I don't have to use Just For Men on my junk.
When you're walking down the street and see a nag sty teen in an ironic rock T. Only it's nirvana..
ReplyDelete* Derek Jeter retires.
ReplyDelete* You're kids friends refer to you as gramps.
* AARP starts sending you letters.
* Depends.
When you go to a bar and see the tear off calender of the day and year you have to have been born to be served and it says 1993.
ReplyDelete*reads thread*
ReplyDeleteDear god...what have I become?!?!!
*flees in horror*
*comforts LowKey*
DeleteWe'll always have Asgard.
When the decade you turned 13 is now "nostalgic" for teenagers.
ReplyDeleteThe band who was popular when you turned 21 (Nirvana) is now in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame.
ReplyDeleteYep, the last few gigs I've been to have been reformations....The Specials, Nik Kershaw, Kim Wilde, Lloyd Cole and the Commotions.....
ReplyDeleteI live down the road from one of Sydney's most popular music venues and I feel awful old when I walk past and don't recognise the name of the band playing that night, which it's it increasingly is! I thought Imagine Dragons was a kiddy show like the Wiggles just with dragons! Sad...
When you have tickets to the Moody Blues concert at the AARP convention.
ReplyDeleteOh, The Vig triggered one of my first memories of feeling old:
ReplyDeleteWhen in your childhood baseball cards contain the rookie cards of managers.
When your doing yard work bending over pulling weeds and get honked at.... & you clap and cheer and run to tell anyone that will listen!! Back in the day they would have gotten the stink eye.
ReplyDeleteWhen they ask if your child is your grandchild
ReplyDeleteWhen your friends have been discussing for a few years how you, as the youngest, will apparently be looking after them in the group home (one we buy, not a nursing home). The women do outnumber the men, so we will be having hot male nurses, hot male gardeners, and hot male home handymen! (We're in our 40's!!!!)
ReplyDeleteYou can tell how strong the gravitational pull is anywhere on planet earth by taking off your bra.
...you become older than the grown-ups on the TV shows you grew up watching as a kid.
ReplyDeleteThe first show to do that to me was a Cheers rerun a few years back. Norm was having a birthday and when Coach asked him how old he was he was YOUNGER than me...and I watched that episode when it originally aired in the 80s. I went into a two week ice cream binge over that.
@feraltart my friends and I have a Golden Girls house too! I once made a joke plan of it for a friends birthday about a decade ago...more of a reality now though. Here's to hot pool boys and daiquiris in our dotage!
ReplyDeleteI realised I suddenly not only loved Rod Stewart's music but found him totally sexy and wanted to bang him. True story.
ReplyDeleteWhen your son asks you how old you were when your parents got you a cell phone and you have to explain that they didn't have those when you were young. And then you either get a blank or horrified stare in return. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteyou wonder why the bar is openly serving alcohol to a group of people who appear to be 12 years old.
ReplyDeleteOn the whole bar theme, when you finally get a night out with the girls and you pick a quiet place so you can "visit"
ReplyDeleteTHAT'S SOME BENJAMIN BUTTONS SHIT #NOREGRETS #GOGRAYORGOHOME
ReplyDeleteThe caption in Random Photos about Debbie Harry looking great as she nears 70. SEVENTY?!?! Debbie Harry? Where does the time go? I had the little 45 of "Call Me" that I played on my portable record player constantly. My friends and I felt so sophisticated because we'd heard that the song came from a movie that had a "MAN HOOKER" in it!!! Stroke the pearls!!!
ReplyDeleteCocoaBeachBunny - OMG. That link was hysterical.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I lost my shit on a bunch of kids. Eh, well. They deserved it.
You want sock and underpants for Christmas.
ReplyDeleteWhen my adult nephew asked me about the Beatles.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteyour body feels like it was in a car accident when you only went tobogganing.. wtf
ReplyDeleteWhen my 16 year old cousin doesn't know who Boyz II Men is... I cry.
ReplyDelete