Blind Items Revealed
November 30, 2013
This Academy Award winner and B+/A- list actress that everyone loves to hate has an expression for when a guy has serviced her orally. She refers to it as taking the E train because she only likes to do it when she is riding and says Eeeee a whole lot. She also uses it as a rating system and says her husband is EEEE. The A+ list mostly movie actor she used to date only got one E. Apparently he was not a fan of it.
Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin/Ben Affleck
I imagine it was bland and flappy.
ReplyDeleteI just finished lunch. :( So when she is laying flat on her back and getting serviced she doesn't say EEEEE??
ReplyDeleteExactly the group I pictured. I'm not surprised Chris Martin is better in bed than Ben but how does he keep from laughing when she squeals "Eeeeee!"
ReplyDeleteMascot Ben
ReplyDeleteWhen Chris sits on her face, he calls it the STFU train! (Sorry, I don't like Gwyneth very much)
ReplyDeleteum what is "riding"? I dont understand this one.
ReplyDeleteEnty's saying that Goop is a face-sitter. This reminds me of the "mustache ride" scene in Super Troopers, only much grosser. Well, now we know why Goop said Affleck was the worst!
DeleteWhat is she riding? A broom? A pony? A bike? An exersize machine? What?
ReplyDelete@ Derrick I believe he means she was sitting on his face
ReplyDeleteI bet she smells bad down there
ReplyDeleteoh kk lol
ReplyDeleteEEEEEEEE
As Monty Python once said, " Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! Sit on my face and tell me that you care! When we're 69 it's just divine...."
ReplyDeleteSad that I remember this song.
Come on Blondie, the rest of it... "I love to hear you oralise, when I'm between your thighs, you blow me awaaaaaaayyyyy!"
ReplyDelete@SingBlue....All together now!
ReplyDeleteSit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
Life can be fine if we both sixty nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
And play till we're blown away
No, I'm sure Gwyneth smells fine. After all, she uses a special douche made from the bathwater of 2-day old babies collected only during snowfalls in a remote corner of Tibet.
ReplyDeleteAwesome sea, awesome!!!!!!
DeleteI give. Nothing I considered saying ended up sounding even remotely civilized in my head. Especially with a mixed audience.
ReplyDeleteAffleck being too consumed with himself to give any effort while munchin box is not surprising.
ReplyDeleteGoop loves over paying for stuff. $1000 and I guarantee her a 5E experience, with as many Os as she can get in an hour. It would be 100% Natural Cunnilingus, with no mechanical additives or artificial flavoring. The tongue will have been NYC born, then farm raised on the outskirts of NJ's famed Pine Barrens. If the "EEEEEEEEE" noise gets too annoying, I reserve the right to stuff her panties in her mouth to shut her up.
@Its all BS: Nah, I bet she is the type who scrubs herself raw w/ a toothbrush trying to get clean.
ReplyDeleteben was trying to shake her for years. he was probably phoning it in on purpose just to get her to dump him.
ReplyDeleteSuper Troopers was AWESOME
ReplyDeleteSome how I hear "EEEEEE" being screeched much in the way a chimpanzee would scream it.
ReplyDeleteLOL Y'all.
ReplyDeleteHow many E's does Harvey W. get?
ReplyDeleteI think they only way you could have sex with Harvey W is to be on top, any other position automatically becomes a health hazard.
ReplyDeleteC'mon, Charlie, don't get shy on us now..,
ReplyDeleteBlondie I just fell in love with you. That is awesome hearing the words to that MP song.
ReplyDeleteMen, we don't have to say it, but we'll get clean if you'll be dirty!
Awww Sherry, thank you! I love you too...just not in that MP way!
ReplyDeleteI grew up watching/reading/listening to MP.
In college I used to sing the Lumberjack song walking across campus.
Just the other day I burst into the Philospher's Song at Starbucks.
"Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table...."
I also know Eric The Half A Bee song!
Hubby and I still do the ," no one expects the spanish inquisition" when we hear a knock, lol. Also," whats on the telly tonight?" " looks like a penguin". It is a bit sad, lol
DeleteLOL @ Count's natural-born tongue! Perfect PR to catch Goop's eye!
ReplyDeleteAs a woman in her late 50s, it cracks me up that it's still a big deal to give or ask for oral sex (especially from a regular partner). Back in the 70's it was kind of a given (or was I warped from being raised in Manhattan, which then was promiscuity playland?) Yikes, people, obviously what you do is your choice and business, but I thought we had gotten a bit more sophisticated these days.
ReplyDeleteIt's got property of the zoo stamped on it!
ReplyDeleteEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ReplyDeleteLeave it to Goop to make cunnilingus completely un-sexy.
ReplyDeleteActually, Goop smells. She does not use deodorant and has messed up quite a few designer dresses with her B.O. One designer complained about her and her hairy bush. I can see why Ben was not into her sitting on his face.
ReplyDeleteriding what?
ReplyDeleteI have a rating system of my own. It's called "eeek". The more "eeeeee's" in it the nastier you look when I imagine you nekkid.
ReplyDeleteGwhineyth is an "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek"
What's worse EEEs or the giggles? I get the gigs - a few past people were "would you please stop laughing?" - once they know what to expect, it becomes funny - it can't be helped, it's like a tickle!
ReplyDeleteThis is what I picture:
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/ap-BcRv1LXw
Perhaps Ben just didn't want GOOP sitting on his pretty face.
Oh crap, I forgot to make that clickable.
ReplyDeletedid enty mean rolling like on e, like popping molly? or riding his face? either way for some reason thinking of goop and oral sex is a turn off
ReplyDeleteI'd need more than E to go down on The Goops. Maybe a shotgun and a IV drip of ketamine. Now all I'm gonna picture is her doing the chimp scream, good work, all. :D:D:D:D
ReplyDeleteOh, and the obligatory..."What's in the boxxxxxx?"
ReplyDeleteBest.Movie.Scene.Ever.
Something else I would've been very happy not knowing. Just imagining the visual...
ReplyDeleteone more reason to love Ben.
ReplyDeleteshe is full bush. prob very stinky. cant blame ben for mailing it in. lower e not E for ben
ReplyDelete*smh* The E train. *eye roll* She is so fucking stupid.
ReplyDeleteI was actually thinking...EWWWWWW. She's just gross to me.
ReplyDelete