Blind Item #12
This former A list singer/celebrity who is now just an A list celebrity who does other things well too was having drinks with her boyfriend at a bar this week and when she thought he was starting to get too drunk said, "I had an enema today for you so you better not get drunk and pass out."
Jessica
ReplyDeleteThe Enties lost count again today after 10.
ReplyDeletedefinitely Jessica lol---I hear her voice in my head saying that too with a dopey smirk on her face and a little whine in her voice
ReplyDeleteShe would be the last person I would ever think was a dirty girl. So sweet and innocent looking when she was young.
ReplyDeleteNot Jess, she's the one who gets pregnant when he looks at her.
ReplyDeleteWhomever it is, EW..who needs to overhear that?
TMI
ReplyDeleteDidn't one of the guys she cheated with while married to Nick, say that she loved anal sex?
ReplyDeleteI think @Count might just have a heart attack at his computer now!
ReplyDeleteDef Jessica - she has a potty mouth!
ReplyDeleteWas Jessica really an Alist singer though? When? D-list singer with A list recognition. Start over. Hmm xtina? I can't think of anything
ReplyDelete@Matt that has been said about Jess.
ReplyDeleteDidn't John Mayer call her sexual kryptonite? As in some of the best he's ever had?
ReplyDeleteWas it not napalm? I think kryptonite would mean the opposite.
DeleteI thought of Jessica Simpson immediately. I thought she had a reputation for wanting it in the pooper?
ReplyDeleteBwahaha! ! What's that aboot the best laid plans?
ReplyDeleteIf I had a dime for everytime I've said that...
ReplyDeleteI thought Xtina tbh but I'm terrible at these things, Jessica probably works better. I always forget she did any singing tbh.
ReplyDeleteWell that's considerate
ReplyDeleteTed Casablanca said that she was able to claim "virgin" for so long because she was into the anal. Whatever floats yo boat, I say.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha
ReplyDeleteAt least she is smart about it. Anal isn't something you do at the last minute. Some prep is involved.
ReplyDeleteFasting and enema is only really needed if you are going ATM. Bath is fine for analingus. other than that, if yer afraid of gettin some mud on the helmet, yer not man enough to be back there.
ReplyDeleteCertainly hot that she is teasing him with her clean and willing hershey highway though. That is marriage material.
OH, and for any curious ladies, Sasha Grey says to dump out the enema solution and use distilled water. She say the solution dries you out, which could lead to abrasions, and tap water could contain bacteria.
ReplyDeleteLOL @Count
ReplyDeleteDid not need that last part, Count. L
ReplyDelete@CountJerkula
ReplyDeleteWhat would you say is a good ass to lube ratio for beginners?
@Melly Bell: My recommendation for beginners is to use plenty of lube, then lessen the amount on subsequent backdoor visits, until you find the right balance of friction for him/comfort for her.
ReplyDeleteNow that doesn't mean 1/2 a bottle of the stuff, butt get everything nice and coated. Yer gonna prep the pucker with a finger first, so dollop on the butthole, coat the finger, and then slow entry.
And it isn't like the lube you use at first is the only lube you get to use. You will need to reapply, so don't go crazy with the stuff right off the bat.
If you find it enjoyable and venture to try again, they sell a small syringe like thing you can suck up the lube with and slide it in the starfish to make sure there is lube in there.
Too much lube will make the dude feel next to nothing, but first try the goal is to make it good enough for her that she lets you back in.
And remember to use water based lube. sometimes instead of re applying, you can just use some spit on it to make it change back from tacky to slick. And be careful what you get it on. When you wash it off the water will reactivate it, so you don't want it on feet or floor.
Buttsecks is a good exercise for a couple, because communication and cooperation are key to having a fulfilling experience. It is an alternative form of intimacy that can bring 2 people closer together and strengthen your relationship.
Haha Amanda! Yes, John Mayer said Jessica Simpson was sexual napalm
ReplyDeleteBam Margera popped Jessica's ass cherry and she dug it. She is a bsck door beauty.
ReplyDeleteJessica and her father have a lot in common. They can compare notes about their rear view entrances.
ReplyDeleteYes, they say she used to only have anal sex so she could preserve her vaginal virginity for her wedding night. Preacher's daughter after all.
ReplyDeleteAnal is a good way to end up with a prolapsed asshole and shit down your pants in your 40s. I know some of those older anal lovers who have to wear adult diapers now 24/7. Dudes who love it, they aren't worried about the shape of no one else's ass. Whatev. It's not that great, anyway.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe preacher's daughter would be familiar with the loophole. Pun intended of course.
ReplyDeleteOh! And I had no idea @TTM was a fellow Canuck ;)
Hey Jewels! Secret Canucklehead handshake! Which part are you from?
ReplyDelete