Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Your Turn

How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?


52 comments:

  1. 2, I'm a lightweight.

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  2. Depends on the Pour, my way 1.

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  3. just enough to take the shakes away.

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  4. 1 for wonky eyes and giggling
    2 for laughing and crying at the same time
    3 for helicopters/vomiting
    4 for the most amazing dancing you have ever witnessed
    5 for the best sex you've ever had
    6 for a passed out mess

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  5. Depends, what I am drinking, how heavy handed the bartender is, did I eat before hand.

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  6. Depends on the time of the month, sometimes two, sometimes eleventeen.

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  7. Of wine? 4/5ths of a bottle if it's red; a whole bottle if it's white.

    Lite beer probably 8-10 drinks? It's hard to say because I usually get too full before I can get up to that.

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  8. Ditto @Cleodacat!

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  9. LOL You people are funny!

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. I don't like to say.

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  12. Pre children I could keep up with Mr Violet pint for pint. 16 years and 3 children later I can barely eat a tiramisu without feeling squiffy.

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  13. More than it should ;-)

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  14. How many drinks does it take to get a Lohan drunk?

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  15. Why are you asking? Are you planning to take advantage of me?

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  16. Replies
    1. Ha! Let's just a lotta coladas ;)

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  17. What else am I taking? Couple lines of meth and I'll drink a case of beer and still drive home fine. Share a doobie before walking in the bar? Probably 8 beers and I'm feeling good. No artificial additives? It is tough. Without being able to smoke in a bar, and nothing ahead of time to take the edge off, I can drink 6-7 beers watching a football game and not feel drunk until I am home. A night out w/o drugs and I'll do 2 double Bacardi and Cokes to warm up, then do 6-8 beers.

    In general, average night of drinking, 8-12 beers and I'm happy. My tolerance is way down though. Back in the old days, I wouldn't go to a party w/o a case in my trunk, and that was after splitting a 12 pk of CoorsLight pregaming.

    I hope to one day be old enough to become a full time alkie.

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    1. I am sort of half horrified and half bowing down in admiration for you.

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  18. How many drinks before you have to use the bathroom?

    There were times I could down a 12pk w/o having to take a leak, but now I'm at like 5-6.

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  19. Drunk and not just a little buzzed? 6 to 8 light beers. Three micros.

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  20. Depends who is making the drink. What I'm drinking if I ate

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  21. Two these days. Used to be able to outdrink guys but those days are gone.

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  22. Two hard lemonades, and I'm drunk. With wine, I need a few glasses. I have to be drunk to drink beer, so I have no idear. Can't stand the taste of beer.

    @Count, the seal is broken after the first drink for me.

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  23. Ode to Alcohol


    Starkle, starkle, little twink,
    Who the hell you are I think,
    I'm not under what they call
    The alcofluence of incohol.
    I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
    I'm just a little slort of sheep.
    Tee martoonis make a guy
    Fool so feelish, don't know why
    Rally don't know who's me yet
    The drunker I stay the longer I get
    So just one more to full my cup,
    I've all day sober to Sunday up.

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  24. Anonymous10:42 AM

    about one... im a cheap date

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  26. I'm 5'2, 110 pounds and I can outdrink any guy or gal in my circle. It's been documented at work.

    When NJ lowered the blood alcohol level, I was assigned to go out to a bar with my fellow 250-pound male co-worker to drink to our hearts content and write about it. We were then chauffeured (by my now husband) to the hospital to have our shit tested. My boy was wasted; I was legally allowed to drive. Again, my chauffeur-now-husband drove my ass home and I got to sleep off my 10 vodka tonics. It was the best assignment EVER.

    The only type of drink that will kill me is Jagermeister or those nasty ass shots in the same family that will surely have me praying to the porcelain god from 4 a.m. on.

    Now that my 20s are long gone, I stick with wine. I drank champagne last weekend, and Sunday was rough. But the time change kicked my ass too. I'm such a bad sleeper....

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  27. Count, I'm polar opposite to you. Can't drink worth a shit, never could. First off, can't drink hard liquor to save my life. Hate the taste and my stomach goes into full revolt. Can only drink beer and red wine and Kaluha. Get a little buzzy on the first beer, by the time I've finished the 4th one I am the single most obnoxious person on the face of the Earth. My happy place is 1 or 2 beers and a little toking over the course of about 5 or 6 hours. When I step outside of that there is sometimes a Police Report full of details that I can't go into here.

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    Replies
    1. So basically you drink like a little girl?

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    2. Mixed drinks, baby. You start out slow and build to the shots!

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  28. Based on all the hugging I did and sloppiness I demonstrated last weekend, apparently 3 glasses of wine in the hotel, 3 at the game and one more at dinner.

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  29. 3, then I start telling everyone I love them!

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  30. @Susan: I hated that lowering of the legal limit. When I got a DUI years ago, I was .16 and driving fine. I was pulled over for a loud exhaust. .08 is way to low for anyone with a tolerance.

    Way back when I was pulled out of my car numerous times for the field sobriety tests. Plenty of times I was drunk as hell, but lied and played it off fantastically.

    @Harry: I hear ya on the hard liquor. If a bartender makes a mixed drink to rich to start the night, my tummy knots up and I can't drink anything but soda. After I'm already buzzed, I can do some shots, but nothing brown (Scotch, tequila, whiskey).

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  31. barely one so I don't bother….

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  32. This is totally off point but really funny. My grievance letter to alcohol.

    Dear Alcohol,

    First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

    1. Phone Calls:

    While I agree with you that communication is important. I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night.

    2. Eating:

    Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat AFTER a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater but, I think you went too far this time.

    3. Clumsiness:

    Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I
    see NO need to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

    4. Furthermore:

    The hangovers have GOT to stop! This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order. But, the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out (face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn or wherever). The hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

    Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the
    extra money in my pockets.

    In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3 p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions. And hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

    Thank you,

    Your Biggest Fan

    P.S. Please take a moment or two and note the following items below that I think may be of some interest to you.


    THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

    1. Innovative
    2. Preliminary
    3. Proliferation
    4. Cinnamon

    THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

    1. Specificity
    2. British Constitution
    3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder

    THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

    1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
    2. Nope, no more beer for me.
    3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
    4. Good evening, officer. Isn 't it lovely out tonight?
    5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

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    Replies
    1. *holding up Margarita glass* That was beautiful.

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  33. It used to take about a dozen. Now it takes about two.

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  34. Never drink because I either puke or get world class brain tumor migraine, so I guess 2 glasses will do it for me.

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  35. Pre-pregnancy, a bottle + of wine or a pint of whisky. Hoping my tolerance has gone down. Guess I will find out in 6 weeks...

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  36. 3 is the magic number.

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  37. I'm Irish. If you can remember how much you drank it's not a proper night out.

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  38. It varies. I usually drink about 4 or 5 pints of hard cider. Most I've ever drunk is 7 double vodkas and then a pint of cider (and I felt very ill after that).

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  39. I can drink beer all night, but if someone starts the Patron shots, I'm dirty dancing and giving lap dances. Luckily tequila gives me memory loss.

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  40. I'm like Susan, but I'm one inch shorter. I can drink way more at home than when I'm out at a bar. The poem & letter were both hilarious. Wine gets me pretty quick & makes me love everyone.

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  41. Two gets me buzzing about as much as I can stand. Three and I'm drunk and sick. Weirdly, I get stoned all the time, no problem.

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  42. Not even one. I'm not a drinker and even a few sips of champagne gets me giggly.

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  43. It really depends on your definition of drunk. Are we talking silly and clumsy, or are we talking falling down, flashing people, and puking drunk?

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