It seems that all celebrities have a baby shower for each baby. You know, because they can't afford to buy everything for themselves. I always thought that only first babies generally got a baby shower. Did you have a shower for each baby?
Yes, but mainly because my two are 8 years apart. I only had the crib. I had nothing else anymore. Plus they are different sexes, so no clothes either.
From what I understand of other women's habits and accepted practices (I fit in with .0001% of women) it is general practice to shower the expecting mother with a party and gifts every time she is pregnant. Now, the trick is to mix it up and have different themes at each shower. An all white garden party is fun fir 5 minutes, then you realize the tea sandwiches won't cut it.
isn't the whole idea of a celebraty shower dumb to begin with? They can afford to buy everything. I think it's more about celebrating the baby and it's arrival in which case I'm ok with it. But no registering for things, I find that tacky for the 2nd, 3rd, etc...
Except for scenarios like @Renoblondee, I think it's tacky to have a shower for each kid. I know someone with three boys and a fourth on the way. They're only 1 to 2 years apart and all were planned. She has a registry and shower for each one. I think it's pretty crass. But if there's a big age gap or different gender, I'm happy to celebrate and bring a gift.
Agree that the mom or bride should never throw one of these for herself. In my circles, it's usually one baby shower unless there's a significant gap between babies, but a different sex shouldn't be a big deal. If I have a boy and girl two years apart, I'm not going to have two showers.
Exception for surprise showers, of course, since the mom doesn't really have a say.
I had two showers: the traditional first one, and then my sisters and mom threw one for the preemie who spent his first 29 days in the neonatal intensive care unit. They threw the shower because they wanted to, and wanted to celebrate his homecoming. My sister-in-law bought a bunch of clothes at rummage sales, which was fine, but she wrapped 'em up and acted like she bought a gift. She's such a dumb bitch.
Have you guys heard of having a "sprinkle" for anything past the first? A sprinkle gives maybe things the mom wouldn't have left over from the first kid/s like diapers, new clothes, that kind of thing...
@susan M That's what we do in my play group. Once we all started having our second babies, the ladies got together for a dinner out and we give things like diapers, a little 10 ish dollar outfit from Target or a 3 pack of cute onesies. Small gestures but getting everyone together to celebrate the new arrival has become a really cool tradition for us
One shower is fine. You don't need to have one for each kid, nor do you need to have an "I'm pregnant" party, a "gender reveal" party and a shower. A shower for the first kiddo, the rest can get hand-me-downs like everyone else :)
Nope, no baby showers at all here. Get gifts like pram or necessary furniture from the grandparents to be & close family but otherwise no big party or anything like that.
When I had my second child -- one year after my first -- my husband had just lost his job. Some friends wanted to give us a shower even though it wasn't "traditional." We were so broke their kindness was much appreciated. (The fact that I had to spend nearly a month in the hospital while my husband took care of our first child and tried to find a new job all at the same time contributed significantly to our being broke.)
P.S. I should have added that our home was attached to the job my husband lost. We had to find a new home, a new job, and deal with a very complicated pregnancy. Again, our friends' kindness saved our bacon. Pardon the expression. :)
I see both views. I had two boys, 4 1/2 years apart. We lived in Hawaii when I was pregnant the first time and planned to fly to California because my aunt wanted to throw me a shower. So I had one there and the girls at my work surprised me with one too when I came back. I was not planning on one for my second because we did have almost everything we needed except a few things but one of my friends where I live now wanted to throw me one. I told her I had one for my first and still had most of the stuff but she said she didn't get to go to my first shower (I hadn't met her yet) so she wanted to throw one for me. I've actually thrown showers for my friends (for their 2nd child and for another one's third) but it was the first shower of theirs that I had been too :)
I had several baby showers for each kid. There were 3 to celebrate my first. 2 for the second and only 1 for the third. Poor third baby. His birth was filmed for a reality show so I guess that makes up for it though!
In my family, we've always had a shower for each impending arrival. I didn't know it was a thing to only have one, or if there was a difference in age. I'm a little dumbfounded here...it's to welcome each individual arrival, or so I thought.
One shower unless there's a large gap. My kids are 3 1/2 years apart and we didn't find out the sex either time, so I really didn't need anything the second time anyway.
I've seen it both ways. My friends with a ton of kids don't have multiple ones. My sister-in-law had multiple for each kid, but they were like family only or all the teachers gave her cake and little presents before going on maternity leave. I think of 'baby shower' when I think of these. And those are generally every baby. Full blown partays? Who has time for that?
I just had my baby shower a few weeks ago. It's been 9 years since I've had a kiddo and its my current husbands first baby so it was appropriate. My mother in law threw it and it was so awesome. It was a Macbeth ( Something Wicked This Way Comes ) / Rosemary's Baby / Sleepy Hollow themed shower. Huge candelabras and formal dining - it looked like Disneys haunted mansion - it was epically cool. This wee one is definitely my last ( famous last words right? ) so she deserved a party.
Hi Sunny! We aren't " official " until June and then it's a very small ceremony with just family. I don't want a big wedding. But, he refers to me as wifey and I refer to him as the hubby so besides the paper, we are pretty much married. We are being induced Thursday so ill be sure to check in next week on some off topic to share the good news:)
Must be a cultural disparity because I've thrown many for girlfriends and my sisters for each child. We have them for each baby in my circles but its more about cupcakes, good times and getting ready to welcome the new bub
I did have showers with each of my 2 but I didn't know you weren't supposed to! No one told me! they are also 12 years apart so by the 2nd one it was like being pregnant for the first time all over again :)
I just recently had my baby shower for my second child, but they will be (almost exactly) 13 years apart when the baby comes in a few weeks. Like Lucy said, it is like being pregnant for the first time...plus I had gotten rid of all my baby stuff years ago.
All rules of etiquette dictate only one baby shower per family. I will only send a gift/attend the first one, if there is a second one down the road I am invited to, I politely decline the invitation but do not send a gift. I will always send a card of congratulations though. Same goes for your second wedding, no bridal shower for number 2.
No, but it should depend on the amount of time that has passed. Ours were four years apart, so we still had most of the consumer durables (swing, bassinet, crib, changing table, high chair, car seat, etc.), but at a certain point, maybe when the kids were 11 and 7 and my wife was 47, we gave it all away.
Oh, and the shower was thrown by my secretary and the other women at my law firm, because they felt that my wife, who had grown up out of state, would not be having one.
In the 60 years the firm was around, I was the only male lawyer at the firm ever to have a baby shower.
I did...but I was having twins and they are my only children. It's custom to not have a shower for any additional children in my area, unless there is a big age gap or the child is a different sex then the other children.
The only time a 2nd shower isn't tacky is when a significant amount if time passes between pregnancies. Ten give or take a year. The whole point is that the items from the 1st baby are either too old or given away.
Thanks for the well wishes all! I could use them. I'm a wee bit nervous, especially seeing my cousins very, very difficult posterior birth this weekend.
I had showers for my first from each side of the family. When my second and third were born 3 years later, it was 3 months preemie so people just sent gifts because we needed more gear with multiples. No time for a party when you're trying to be at the hospital as much as possible. That being said, if it's multiples or a long time between births, I think it's ok. Otherwise just throw a party without gift demands and quit hitting people up for stuff you can reuse or afford on your own.
Yes, but mainly because my two are 8 years apart. I only had the crib. I had nothing else anymore. Plus they are different sexes, so no clothes either.
ReplyDeleteOne baby shower per customer!
ReplyDeleteFrom what I understand of other women's habits and accepted practices (I fit in with .0001% of women) it is general practice to shower the expecting mother with a party and gifts every time she is pregnant. Now, the trick is to mix it up and have different themes at each shower. An all white garden party is fun fir 5 minutes, then you realize the tea sandwiches won't cut it.
ReplyDeleteNo! And you are not supposed to throw them for yourself. (Nor your family - considered gift grubbing.) Same with wedding showers. Tacky!
ReplyDelete@a.. I had mine at Dave and Busters and all my BFFs got hammered
ReplyDeleteisn't the whole idea of a celebraty shower dumb to begin with? They can afford to buy everything.
ReplyDeleteI think it's more about celebrating the baby and it's arrival in which case I'm ok with it. But no registering for things, I find that tacky for the 2nd, 3rd, etc...
Except for scenarios like @Renoblondee, I think it's tacky to have a shower for each kid. I know someone with three boys and a fourth on the way. They're only 1 to 2 years apart and all were planned. She has a registry and shower for each one. I think it's pretty crass. But if there's a big age gap or different gender, I'm happy to celebrate and bring a gift.
ReplyDeleteSorry but one per person same thing with weddings. I am NOT buying multiple gifts for friends who marry often.
ReplyDeleteAgree that the mom or bride should never throw one of these for herself. In my circles, it's usually one baby shower unless there's a significant gap between babies, but a different sex shouldn't be a big deal. If I have a boy and girl two years apart, I'm not going to have two showers.
ReplyDeleteException for surprise showers, of course, since the mom doesn't really have a say.
Well, I had a shower for my first two babies, but they were twins. So, just one here.
ReplyDeleteI had two showers: the traditional first one, and then my sisters and mom threw one for the preemie who spent his first 29 days in the neonatal intensive care unit. They threw the shower because they wanted to, and wanted to celebrate his homecoming.
ReplyDeleteMy sister-in-law bought a bunch of clothes at rummage sales, which was fine, but she wrapped 'em up and acted like she bought a gift. She's such a dumb bitch.
Have you guys heard of having a "sprinkle" for anything past the first? A sprinkle gives maybe things the mom wouldn't have left over from the first kid/s like diapers, new clothes, that kind of thing...
ReplyDelete@susan M
DeleteThat's what we do in my play group. Once we all started having our second babies, the ladies got together for a dinner out and we give things like diapers, a little 10 ish dollar outfit from Target or a 3 pack of cute onesies. Small gestures but getting everyone together to celebrate the new arrival has become a really cool tradition for us
One shower is fine. You don't need to have one for each kid, nor do you need to have an "I'm pregnant" party, a "gender reveal" party and a shower. A shower for the first kiddo, the rest can get hand-me-downs like everyone else :)
ReplyDeleteNope, no baby showers at all here. Get gifts like pram or necessary furniture from the grandparents to be & close family but otherwise no big party or anything like that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my second child -- one year after my first -- my husband had just lost his job. Some friends wanted to give us a shower even though it wasn't "traditional." We were so broke their kindness was much appreciated. (The fact that I had to spend nearly a month in the hospital while my husband took care of our first child and tried to find a new job all at the same time contributed significantly to our being broke.)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I should have added that our home was attached to the job my husband lost. We had to find a new home, a new job, and deal with a very complicated pregnancy. Again, our friends' kindness saved our bacon. Pardon the expression. :)
ReplyDeleteI see both views. I had two boys, 4 1/2 years apart. We lived in Hawaii when I was pregnant the first time and planned to fly to California because my aunt wanted to throw me a shower. So I had one there and the girls at my work surprised me with one too when I came back. I was not planning on one for my second because we did have almost everything we needed except a few things but one of my friends where I live now wanted to throw me one. I told her I had one for my first and still had most of the stuff but she said she didn't get to go to my first shower (I hadn't met her yet) so she wanted to throw one for me. I've actually thrown showers for my friends (for their 2nd child and for another one's third) but it was the first shower of theirs that I had been too :)
ReplyDeleteI had several baby showers for each kid. There were 3 to celebrate my first. 2 for the second and only 1 for the third. Poor third baby. His birth was filmed for a reality show so I guess that makes up for it though!
ReplyDeleteIn my family, we've always had a shower for each impending arrival. I didn't know it was a thing to only have one, or if there was a difference in age. I'm a little dumbfounded here...it's to welcome each individual arrival, or so I thought.
ReplyDeleteOne shower unless there's a large gap. My kids are 3 1/2 years apart and we didn't find out the sex either time, so I really didn't need anything the second time anyway.
ReplyDeleteI've seen it both ways. My friends with a ton of kids don't have multiple ones. My sister-in-law had multiple for each kid, but they were like family only or all the teachers gave her cake and little presents before going on maternity leave. I think of 'baby shower' when I think of these. And those are generally every baby. Full blown partays? Who has time for that?
ReplyDeleteI just had my baby shower a few weeks ago. It's been 9 years since I've had a kiddo and its my current husbands first baby so it was appropriate. My mother in law threw it and it was so awesome. It was a Macbeth ( Something Wicked This Way Comes ) / Rosemary's Baby / Sleepy Hollow themed shower. Huge candelabras and formal dining - it looked like Disneys haunted mansion - it was epically cool. This wee one is definitely my last ( famous last words right? ) so she deserved a party.
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Alicia!! I didn't realize you guys hitched your wagons. Enjoy your sweet baby girl
DeleteHi Sunny! We aren't " official " until June and then it's a very small ceremony with just family. I don't want a big wedding. But, he refers to me as wifey and I refer to him as the hubby so besides the paper, we are pretty much married. We are being induced Thursday so ill be sure to check in next week on some off topic to share the good news:)
DeleteSqueee Alicia. Wishing you a healthy babe and easy delivery. Mazel!
DeleteWhat an awesome shower these. My friends would love that!
DeleteBest of luck with the birth, and long life to you and your famiglia. Pink bubbles!!
Must be a cultural disparity because I've thrown many for girlfriends and my sisters for each child. We have them for each baby in my circles but its more about cupcakes, good times and getting ready to welcome the new bub
ReplyDeleteI did have showers with each of my 2 but I didn't know you weren't supposed to! No one told me! they are also 12 years apart so by the 2nd one it was like being pregnant for the first time all over again :)
ReplyDeleteI just recently had my baby shower for my second child, but they will be (almost exactly) 13 years apart when the baby comes in a few weeks. Like Lucy said, it is like being pregnant for the first time...plus I had gotten rid of all my baby stuff years ago.
ReplyDeleteAll rules of etiquette dictate only one baby shower per family. I will only send a gift/attend the first one, if there is a second one down the road I am invited to, I politely decline the invitation but do not send a gift. I will always send a card of congratulations though. Same goes for your second wedding, no bridal shower for number 2.
ReplyDeleteNo, but it should depend on the amount of time that has passed. Ours were four years apart, so we still had most of the consumer durables (swing, bassinet, crib, changing table, high chair, car seat, etc.), but at a certain point, maybe when the kids were 11 and 7 and my wife was 47, we gave it all away.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the shower was thrown by my secretary and the other women at my law firm, because they felt that my wife, who had grown up out of state, would not be having one.
ReplyDeleteIn the 60 years the firm was around, I was the only male lawyer at the firm ever to have a baby shower.
I did...but I was having twins and they are my only children. It's custom to not have a shower for any additional children in my area, unless there is a big age gap or the child is a different sex then the other children.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Alicia! My girls are 17 and 3/4 years apart. I had two showers as I had nothing left over from the first.
ReplyDeleteI was pressured to have a baby shower by friends and family, so I did it for my first baby, but that was it. No more.
ReplyDeleteOne and only one. That doesn't mean when someone has another baby you don't buy them an outfit or something when the baby's born.
ReplyDeleteWhere DO these rules get written in cement? Babies more than five years apart, it seems to me, must get new gear bc who hangs onto that stuff?
ReplyDeleteMy congrats to alls you momz who have the strength and courage to do it again. So many years later. Oh heck! To ALL the moms! And dads!
Babies are a huge undertaking, and I wish our world loved the living babies as much as it purports to be in favor of the unborn.
May ALL CREATURES know love and abundance.
I had a shower for each kid and every marriage. My crew likes to party.
ReplyDeleteThe only time a 2nd shower isn't tacky is when a significant amount if time passes between pregnancies. Ten give or take a year. The whole point is that the items from the 1st baby are either too old or given away.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the well wishes all! I could use them. I'm a wee bit nervous, especially seeing my cousins very, very difficult posterior birth this weekend.
ReplyDeleteAnd haha califblondy - I can dig it
I had twins so I got a two for one first shower. I don't know if I'm getting a shower with the one on the way.
ReplyDeleteI had showers for my first from each side of the family. When my second and third were born 3 years later, it was 3 months preemie so people just sent gifts because we needed more gear with multiples. No time for a party when you're trying to be at the hospital as much as possible. That being said, if it's multiples or a long time between births, I think it's ok. Otherwise just throw a party without gift demands and quit hitting people up for stuff you can reuse or afford on your own.
ReplyDeleteAs a younger sister, it sucks to get hand me downs. Nothing wrong with new stuff for each kid!
ReplyDelete