Mile Cyrus Makes Out With Benji Madden
On Halloween night Benji and Miley Cyrus made out. I'm sure Miley intended on making out with a hundred people that night to share that tongue with as many people as possible. What probably happened is that once she made out with Benji he handcuffed her to him and began online shopping for engagement rings and telling her that he had wedding registries already set up at various locations. Ohh, you know who would be there perfect match for Benji? Jennifer Love Hewitt. They would be great together and he wouldn't even care that she is having a baby with another guy.
So two single consenting adults made out on Halloween? The horror. My pearls may be turned to dust as I clutch them like the tenuous thread needed to make a bullshit blind item plausible.
ReplyDeleteWHY MILEY? WHHHYYYYYYY?
*snicker*
DeleteMy feeling as well, except for the fact Benji M has the JLH Syndrome BAD. He wants to get married on the 3rd date. Well, I know most of yall know I like her because I've worked with her, she was great, blah, blah, but see...Miley wants to get married, esp now after the Liam debacle. Can you imagine what would happen if Madden got his hooks into Cyrus money?? BR is worth around 150 mil, Miley around 130+. She'd be on a 5150 within 2 yrs. No. This is one time I'm not going against the grain, this is a very bad idea.
DeleteOr that Stage 5 clinger Taylor Swift. She'd be a good match. Wait... Is he straight? Nvm then. She's not interested.
ReplyDeleteIsn't he a little old for her? Whatever.
ReplyDeleteJLH is awesome, that douche doesn't deserve her even if she takes a bunch of kids from a lot of different fathers.
ReplyDeleteDamn you Mile!
ReplyDeleteJohnny!!!! I just revognised your avi. I love you.
DeleteThere are three stages to 20-something drinking, as I remember it:
ReplyDelete1) Doubles + shots
2) Kissy + dancing on speakers
3) Justwannagohomenotouchy!!!donairs!theremustbedonairs!!
It's always awkward when some random dude wanders in during stage 2 and then wants to split a donair, so I feel ya, Miley
TTM: your version of 20 makes mine seem positively debauched and slatternly
DeleteI thought it was Taylor Swift that was clingy and Jlove was a control freak.
ReplyDeleteI didnt know he was a love junkie! Miley- god knows where that tongue has been!
ReplyDeleteI dunno...
ReplyDeleteIf you're a young girl looking for a few hours of dirty freaky sex THAT GUY MIGHT be the one. Shit. Sometimes we need it nasty too.
Just sayin'.
Is it too early?
Oh well....
The guy is ugly as shit. If he isn't gay, and apparently that is a big "if", then maybe he is more then a little desperate for some pussy. When a girl gives an ugly guy a little attention, sometimes the guy goes a little overboard. Pussy can have that affect on some guys - make them do really stupid things like climb a tree on to the roof of a girl's parent's house only to fall off and break their leg.
ReplyDeleteTTM -What the hell is a donair?
ReplyDeleteMiddle eastern food. I just moved to Canada and that is a new word in my vocab...
DeleteWho cares who she made out with? Unless Benji is texting friends pics of her balloon knot, I'm not interested.
ReplyDelete@count, what's a balloon knot?
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't romp on her for this. When I was her age I had a rough breakup and did pretty much the same...but with better looking men apparently.
Awww give him a break. Yeah he was hit by a massive ugly stick....but I've never heard him beating up on women or any of the other things these Hollywood men enjoy doing to their girls.
ReplyDelete@boomom22: Balloon Knot = Butt Hole
ReplyDeleteSFW pic of actual balloon knot, not a butthole
Thanks Count. I think I might start calling people who are assholes balloon knots.
ReplyDelete@Brenda, that's a good point. I was a lot more shallow at 20 though and if a guy didn't appeal to my eye I didn't bother, no matter how much money they had or how nice they were. Glad I outgrew that kind of attitude as I got older.
I like Benji. He might not have great taste in women but he always treats them well. Dont know why Enty is so jealous of Benji getting some action. So he loves intensely? Nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteGood for her. Isnt SHe the stage five clinger? Itll be good for her to see how offputting and lame it is.
ReplyDeleteMmmm donairs
ReplyDeleteI guess her morality level has sunk low.
ReplyDeleteWhat are donairs?!
ReplyDeleteNeck tattoos are so attractive...on a white supremacist. *shudder*
he is so BLAHHH to me
ReplyDeleteBUT i will say there is something endearing to a crazy stalker guy AFTER you dealt with a douche that didnt care to be bothered with you much
you dont see it as him being crazy you confuse it with attention and love
Donairs are pita wraps made by shaving a giant meat (sometimes lamb, sometimes beef) log, adding in onions and tzatziki sauce and served to drunk people at 3 am.
ReplyDeleteMac, you know! The meat loooog
Doner, this is a donair: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/donair/
ReplyDeleteYou mean a Gyro? I did a little Google and apparently that's the name used in Canada. Odd name I guess it's pronounced like Donner the reindeer?
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly that, Sherry! Except pronounced done (like Tone, as is Loc) Air.
ReplyDeleteWell, he did Paris Hilton after all, so Miley is hardly a step down.
ReplyDeleteIs "clingy" his worst attribute? I mean, this *is* the site that regularly has blinds about pedophiles, abusers and killers, right? Is Enty saying that Miley would have been better off spending the night with Steven Segal?
ReplyDeleteAm I missing something? Does it veer from clingy straight into murder-suicide territory?
So she sticks out her tongue, shows her ass and gets unprecedented fame, and this is what she does with it? She is unworthy. You don't go down the Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan road when you get handed undeserved fame like that. Back to the trailer park with you!
ReplyDeleteDespite what In Touch, Enty, or whoever says, Miley's tongue has been far less places, BY FAR, than most chicks her age. Why everyone wants to slut shame and dog her...undeserved.
ReplyDelete