There is hope for all sweaty fat guys in the world like myself who don't ever think they will have a chance to marry a former Miss Golden Globe and daughter of an Academy Award winner who loves being naked and has sex twenty times a day. But guess what? Jonah Hill's brother Jordan Feldstein managed to do just that. Tired of scraping up Robin Thicke and Adam Levine's toss aways he managed to snag Francesca Eastwood after she got cheated on and dumped by Tyler Shields. What do you do when you rebound with someone and get wasted in Vegas? You get married.
Hmmmm...
ReplyDeleteIs that the only picture of him available?
Its hard to have 9 Hollowwood marriages if you don't start early.
ReplyDeleteOh I don't know...he has a certain appeal about him. Lots of moisture.
ReplyDeleteHe provides his own lube.
ReplyDeleteGod bless women with low self esteem.
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a tub of shit. Have fun with that one!
ReplyDeletedude looks like a sex offender.
ReplyDeleteNasty eew. She has bug face. He is just sweaty. Always sweaty.
ReplyDeletePit stains on his chest. Nice! What a catch. Annulment in 3...2...1
ReplyDelete💕 Sounds like true love - these two are going to live happily ever after for sure!
ReplyDeleteWhich of Clint's women is her mother?
ReplyDeleteI was accidentally on the dirty site and there is a whole write up what a gross jerk this guy is and a pic of his super small peen. I wish I could unsee...
ReplyDeleteOh damn I was wrong lol shouldve read all the comments first.
DeleteI'm stumped!
This guy's had an interesting week. I read the dirty and that writeup was hilarious: http://m.popdust.com/latest/528e20b0cb007105731a432b-jonah-hill-vs-nik-richie-actor-accuses-king-of-sleaze-of-trying-to-ruin-his-brother-s-life
ReplyDelete6 months
ReplyDeleteThis is all I can come up with as to why this would ever happen.
ReplyDeleteDom/sub.
He has a huge penis.
He's hilarious.
Annulled in less than a month.
ReplyDeleteI'm astounded that you people just can't accept that this is true love...
ReplyDeleteOh, fuck it. I can't keep a straight face either.
I know the feeling. I did the same after my ex dumped me and went for wine and rebound. But guess what? I m getting married with my rebound and I love him as I never loved anyone before. I wish Francesca all my best
ReplyDeleteSometimes lil bitches fall for big dudes. I think it has to do with the broad having a poor body image and are attracted to a dude who doesn't give a shit what people say, so they are comfortable walking around at a happy weight. That is how I justified my ex being into me, until I figured out how nuts she was.
ReplyDeleteP.S. That Eastwood bim is 4'10. She must use this dude like a bouncy castle.
She kind of does look like a praying Mantis
ReplyDeleteI seen is Vienna sausage, Good Luck
ReplyDeleteWait. Google has her at 4'10, but IMDB has her at 5'5. I am confused and disappointed.
ReplyDeleteSince it is apparent this is a fat shaming friendly comment section, I think she latched onto the best she could get before she has to get off the Adderall or coke and expands like a dying sun. Look at all the meat she caries through her hindquarters, and she's only 20?
Dude could have done better being Jonah Hill's brother. I'd still bone her though.
Every comment made me laugh. I have nothing to add, y'all said it all beautifully already.
ReplyDeleteLet's be real. If this guy manage Maroon 5 and Robin Thicke he gets ten percent of MILLIONS a year. Maybe she did it for the money and not for the drunken shiggles.
ReplyDeletethis may be over by christmas! She's determined to hit the skids asap.
ReplyDeleteBouncy house bwhahahhahahahahhaahha!
ReplyDeleteooh that made my day!
Also, per google, this seems to be one of the few pictures of him, but tons (and I mean tons) of the wifey now attached to his name!
I thought Tyler shields was smarmy & skeezy...but damn this guy is just...eeeewwwwwwwwwww.
ReplyDeleteShe's not well mentally…what a handful and she's so young
ReplyDeleteI tell ya what, JoElla, as a thick and meaty dude, it is great when a tiny broad plays bouncy house with you. Even better if she is all energized from meth or coke.
ReplyDeleteStanding and having the chick use you like a jungle gym is also an enjoyable experience.
Damn you all to hell for posting that link. His penis looks so tiny and fragile, it honestly looks like a naked mole rat. All pink and wrinkly and the size of your thumb. Actually, a thumb is being generous.
ReplyDeleteOne of them married out of their league.
ReplyDeleteI give it 2 weeks. Or they are pulling a PR stunt and will try to annul it faster than 60 hours like Ms. Spears.
ReplyDeleteAlternate headline: Francesca Eastwood marries Rob Ford.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I look at his penis? WHY?!
ReplyDeleteWell fancy will be glad you guys did all the heavy lifting for her. Why is everyone assuming she's the one that settled? This chick is psycho, he's the one that should have thought twice.
ReplyDeleteim interested in who tyler shields cheated on her with and broke up with her for?
ReplyDeleteLol @ this thread. You guys are awesome.
ReplyDelete@Patience her mother is Frances Fisher, who is a really good actress. I love her.
ReplyDeleteto the person who said she did it for money: her father is Clint fucking Eastwood. She's set.
ReplyDelete(and her mom has plenty of $ too)
He may not be Chris Hemsworth, but she is really, really odd looking; and not in an attractive way.
ReplyDeleteShe looks like an anime version of Kate Moss.
ReplyDeleteOh myyyy!!
ReplyDeleteDavid Miscavige is weeping over Eastwood moneyz
ReplyDeleteThe annulment should be coming any minute now...
ReplyDeleteJust when I thought Rob Ford's 15 minutes were up..
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a young Harvey Weinstein.
ReplyDelete