Friday, November 15, 2013

Adam Levine Is The Sexiest Man Alive

The publicists that People Magazine works for have determined that at least for this year Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive. Throwing caution to the wind they went with a guy who has a new movie coming out and a new record and is currently in the middle of a television show airing on a struggling network to give the award to this year. Adam will reduce the cover image and hand them out with his phone number to all of the women who come up to him and wonder when he can fit them in to his schedule which also includes a girlfriend.

His girlfriend has to be pretty convinced by now that Adam is going to cheat on her and probably has cheated on her and that hopefully he just won't embarrass her too much and get caught having sex or something which would force her to split with him or change her name to Paula Patton.

Thew news was first broken to Gossip Cop which also works for the publicists and refuses to publish anything not confirmed by publicists because they always tell the truth.


71 comments:

  1. On what planet? Certainly not mine.

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  2. So every other man has died?

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  3. He looks like a smelly toothpick junkie you crush in bed. Yuck!

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  4. Whaaaa?? Ewww.

    Sorry, don't mean to yuck anybody's yum, but he is not at all my cup o tea. More for you guys!

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  5. Bahahahaaaahahaha
    (Breathe)
    Bahahahaaahahaa

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  6. He is engaged. He has a fiancee. Not girlfriend and yes, he will probably also cheat on her. A leopard never changes its tattoos....errr I mean spots!

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  7. Dude is hot. He oozes sex!

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  8. I only agree with the whole Sexiest thing if they star in my fantasies, this guy is more "the best friend of my fantasy that is mocked by all" ala Barney ( HIMYM)

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  9. Why is the eny laywers on mags so bitter all the time?

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  10. That poor hand model in that pic. Could you imagine her agent's call,"I got a great gig for you and it pays well. You basically have to hold some guy's privates, but it's for a magazine cover."

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    Replies
    1. His girlfriend at the time, Anne V, was the model holding him.

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  11. Not according to me.

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  12. Whatthefuckever.

    Mark Ruffalo should get it every year.

    Sexy is subjective and I just find Adam Levine to be nasty with an exceptionally annoying "singing" voice.

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  13. He's dirty sexy to me. He seems like a douche but I would hate eff him anytime.

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  14. That's two votes for Mark Ruffalo, in case anyone is counting

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  15. Goopy and this douche are the sexiest people in the world. Yeah, right.

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    1. Let's face it. All the Bestest etc covers are bought and paid for. I always feel naive when my secret heart believes that awards are earned and accolades are meant by all.

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  16. Oh he was copying Janet. How unoriginal of him.

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  17. I would hit it, come before he does and not let him finish, then smoke a cig in bed without offering him one. After that, I'd get up and get dressed, and walk out, leaving the door open. That's my way of telling a guy he's a piece of shit. Works the few times I've done it.

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  18. Now I know this is a purchased "honor"!

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  19. Make it four! And I totally agree with you, Disco. Blech.

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  20. Ooooh. Mark Ruffalo is a hottie.

    Yeah, Adam Levine is too thin for my blood. I need something to hold onto. And his voice is so whiny/high. I just can't with that. Don't get me started about the body tatoos.

    When thinking about Hollyweird, I feel like Matthew McCaughanahay (fuck I can not spell that and I am NOT looking it up), is perpetually hot. But, I know he had to lose 9 thousand pounds for a role recently.

    Don Draper does it for me, too.

    Glad to see it going to a musician, I guess. That's kind of rare, right?

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  21. I find him dirty hot, too. But he's been too many places.

    Mark Ruffalo.... oh my.

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    1. Anonymous11:27 AM

      @Seven- similar to my opinion on Gerard Butler, sex with him, for me, would be akin to picking up chewy off the footpath and eating it.

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  22. Ooooooo! You just gave me the giddy giggles, VIP! Thank you!!

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  23. The only thing I worry about Mark is that he gives off a bit of an"artiste" vibe, you know, like someone who would spend three hours going on about his "craft" while you are trying to get him into the hotel elevator for sexy times, you know?

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  24. TalksTooMuch - Word!! Ha ha.

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  25. Not hot at all to me. Guy can sing tho.

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  26. +1 @ both VIP and Reno, and I bet you're both hotties...
    ...and I'd bet every one who dissed Adam in this thread couldn't pay him enough to convince him to...
    ...because that's just how life generally is

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  27. TTM - No, he'd talk your ear off about the consequences of fracking and the need for greater water resource preservation. That's fine with me. I've mastered the art of selective hearing. He can talk about fracking all he wants if I'm on top doing some frucking.

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    1. Anonymous11:26 AM

      @discoflux: and THAT'S why he's sexy
      My man is the HOTTEST and also incredibly smart, well read, cultured, but still laughs when we fart. It's a nice balance.

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  28. Good Grief, he's a pig.

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  29. I'll give him cute, in that one off kinda way ... but Sexiest Man?
    How much did NBC pony up for that one? Or do they own Kneepads?

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  30. I can get behind you on this one, People Magazine.

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  31. Bwahaha disco!! I could totally see that: "oh yeah, Mark, that really is terrible, now I'm gonna get you to go ahead and move that right over there, now, yep, okay, go on, um hmm"

    Hold up, did we just himbo-ize Mark Ruffalo?? The Count is gonna be all Blah Blah MANsogyny this, he's more than a piece of meat that

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  32. I assume this was a poll in the Advocate.

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  33. Adam Levine looks like an alien. The bottom half of his face is gigantic and then he has little beady eyes on top.

    A - You're awesome!

    I'm on the Mark Ruffalo train also.

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  35. People has fallen off the cliff with this pick

    he is not sexy-he is an ass who serial screws models to prove his manhood to himself

    worst pick of all time...........

    Channing Tatum has to be laughing his ass off.......

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  36. I remember when John F. Kennedy Jr. was Sexiest Man Alive -- I'm sure that wasn't bought and paid for. It was fascinating because, frankly, being younger and born years after the assassination attempt, I had no idea JFK had a son (and that he looked nothing like his father). It was like JFK Jr.'s debutante ball/social coming out or something.

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    1. Amy - JFK Jr RIP. If only he had left us an FFF pic for posterity...

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  37. I'll get on that Mark Ruffalo train though.......

    he's hot and has a brain and funny too

    best combo there is

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  38. and yes to the Hammaconda also

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  39. Adam Levine is an overcompensating dweeb whose music sucks donkey balls.

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  40. Just adding my "yuck" to the pile. Plus he seems like a jerk to me.

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  41. Haha, Disco. Frucking! Love it!

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  42. I think he's HOT! Not the sexiest guy in the world - but he has a sexy, dirty, no limits vibe! I'd def put him in the NSA fling category! Whiny voice? A ball gag would stop that!

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  43. I actually like that picture of him. It's hot.

    Don't judge, lol.

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  44. Nope dont agree with that judgement. Hes ok but I don't get sexpot from him. If he was a little less self absorbed maybe he would give mote sexy vibes for me

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  45. Mark Ruffalo gets my vote for not his looks or whatever (I seriously find every guy ugly, including me) but because of the conversation we had on Twitter.

    He was supporting a piece of legislation I felt was wrong (it was the Obamacare bill) and we got into it for a few tweets, then we both started just talking about our beliefs, seeing each others points of view and actually becoming sort of friends after it.

    Coolest fucking guy in Hollywood.

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  46. Eh. He's not that hot, but at least he's better looking than Nick Nolte was when he got it: http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AtJ5QPSW_5poRcUHMEdvqpWbvZx4?fr=yfp-t-900-s&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&p=nick%20nolte%20sexiest%20man%20alive

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  47. I'd pick Mark too.
    Adam is too skinny, icky looking.

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  48. Sexiest man alive? Um, no.
    That said, I would totally shame-f*ck him.

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  49. Seriously? I think they started down that slippery slope when they nominated Bradley Cooper. They may never recover.

    To his credit, at least he is not as greasy/slimy/vomit inducing as Robin Thicke. Both give me the major skeeves. They would be perfect f*cks during those dark, self-loathing periods, though.

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  50. Anonymous11:36 AM

    YUCK!!!!

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  51. How?? Why?? Chose by the Blind Association?

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    1. I think a poll in The Advocate.

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  52. To me, he'll always just be a victim of Modern Day Bloody Face.

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  53. Adam Levine is soooooo average.

    I'll toss in another vote for Mark Ruffalo, though.

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  54. Love. Him.
    PS: I wouldn't call NBC a "struggling network."

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  55. Well now all you Ryan Gosling fans understand how some of us felt when he got it (Mr Vanilla for sure).

    Adam is a damn sexy in a 'shut the hell up, I know you are a self-absorbed douche but I want you to put me on that white double chaise from the photo shoot at your house and do things to me I would not even discuss with any other male on the planet and once I leave neither of us will ever talk about this again' kind of way. But really, I haven't thought about it much.

    That photo shoot with Anne V.'s hands over his crotch was for the Prostate cancer awareness campaign that year (2 years ago?).

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  56. I'd ride the Adam Levine train until the wheels fell off! Choo choo!

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  57. He looks like my first love all the way to my ex hubby. I'd bang him, after a few HPV shots, 10 day antibiotic course, and quality condoms. But, I'm old, even the 70 yr olds don't date old broads in their 40s out there.

    Matthew McConaughey can slide his no deodorant wearing, stinky pits right on over. I can clothes pin the nose, if necessary. All day, any day.

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