Dick Clark grabbed some stars and then decided to televise some stars giving out awards because what the world needs is another award show. It can go in the time slot right after that talent show. No, not that one. The singing one. No, not that singing one, the singing one with the rule that you have to be left handed and born on a Tuesday.
Anyway, Sandra Bullock was there with her "ex" Matthew M and his wife Camila Alves.
Lupita Nyong'o looked amazing.
Julia Roberts was there. They probably promised her a lifetime achievement award.
Jane Fonda has the best plastic surgeon. Can we all agree on that?
Olivia Munn in her favorite sideways pose.
The cast of Before Midnight photobombed by jack Black.
Juliette Lewis was there and looking normal.
Viola Davis gives some love to Jake Gyllenhaal who showed up and got an award! Amazing how that works.
Jennifer Garner was thrilled to announce the award for best popcorn at a home movie theatre which was won by Snoop..
Wait, what? Let's shade a dead man that wasn't at the awards! Fuck Dick (Clark)!
ReplyDeleteDon't bag on Olivia Munn!!
ReplyDeleteI don't care for Jane Fonda but she does have a great surgeon.
Madonna, you should've called Jane before going off the deep end with your "procedures."
ReplyDeleteJAX WHY YOU HATE ON JAKE G
ReplyDeleteTruly Viola Davis should be getting an award. She's amazing in everything she does.
ReplyDeleteSandy B's "ex"? Right, she's definitely doing threesomes with Matt & his Mrs. SHOCKER!
ReplyDeleteI don't know who Lupita is, but she looks fantastic in that dress!
Juliette Lewis needs to quit with that pouty half-glare. Even Sparkles did it better.
I love Juliette Lewis so much! She is so awesome and I lurve her.
ReplyDeleteI love Olivia Munn's dress! Jane Fonda, Shmayne Schmonda - the best plastic surgeon is whoever is preserving the awesomeness that is Martin Short.
ReplyDeleteI would sooooo eat Olivia Munn's ass. My beard would be tickling her twat, my tongue swirling, lapping and darting. She would literally have to beg for me to redirect my attention to her snatch and even then I'd be buttfucking her with my nose as I worked her clit over and kneeded her buttcheeks into my face.
ReplyDeleteThere would be 2 wet spots on the bed, because the slobber and pussy juice would be running down both her legs and pooling on the sheets around her knees. After she came couple times, I'd get dressed, wash my face, hit up my Scope and leave. 47 seconds of humping would be too anti climatic. Better to leave her with an enjoyable experience, knowing if she ever calls again I can do anything I want.
Yeezus, what the hell just happened here? I'm looking at some pretty dresses and blah blah blah and BAM! Knee deep in Penthouse Letters! Give a girl some warning!
ReplyDeleteLupita is freaking gorgeous.
ReplyDelete@TTM: I'm sorry. Miss Munn flaunting the tush with that sideways pose and coy smile was too much for me. I am a weak man, going through tender, lovely buttcheek withdrawals. There is no methadone to quell my cravings.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with Jake Gyllenhaal? He looks scary thin in that pic.
ReplyDeleteFleshlight butt version needed, aisle two! Stat!
ReplyDeleteNah. I'm not scrubbin lube and jizz out of a rubber orifice. That is why women are so convenient, they are self cleaning. Sure from time to time a guy needs to be a gentleman and get the baby wipes or a warm wet washcloth, but in general, women seem to have their own maintenance routine.
ReplyDeletePam oil spray and two coupons to a carwash, aisle two! Stat!
ReplyDeleteLupita is in 7 Years a Slave and supposed to be phenom.
ReplyDeleteNotice how Julia is hogging the stage and Meryl isn't showing up? Julia changed the ending so she can be the star. I hope she is completely ignored and lots of hoopla for Meryl.
Jane still looks all tight and drawn like surgery to me. I love Jack Black.
ReplyDeleteLupita is so stunning and I've heard that 12 years a slave is absolutely phenomenal
ReplyDeleteYou think Juliette looks 'normal?" Well... ya... if wearing a tablecloth is normal...
ReplyDeleteSandra was coming on to Camilla.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Jane F has a great cosmetic surgeon, but she is too damn skinny!!
Matthew McC - i'm not sure he will ever recover from that massive weight loss. he really looks gaunt and terrible.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an Olivia Munn fan, but she looks really GREAT in that color.
Jake G. looks just as scary-skinny as the last photo. i am really starting to think he is gravely ill.
Count, it's astounding how insanely, anally obsessed you are. almost as obsessed as i am about receiving oral.
@kassandra: it is part love for the female buttocks and the wonderful pucker nestled between them, part best option that a baby don't come out of and part naughty, dirty sex.
ReplyDeleteNot only is Jake scary thin, but his hair has the same look Rock Hudson's did at the end. Something is not right with him.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet again Sandra is WOW-ing me with her fabulosity ... that hair!
ReplyDeleteMatthew M still looks a bit too thin ... I thought he'd regained all his weight but obviously not ... he needs to gain another 3 or so kg.
Julia looks fresh.
Jane Fonda looks nicely airbrushed.
I can't stand Jack Black - why can't he ever stand up straight and look at the camera with a 'normal' expression?
Juliette Lewis does indeed look 'normal'! That's a good look for her ...
Jennifer Garner has such a mumsy face ... she reminds me of my Aunty Mary, which is not a compliment.
I didn't recognize Julia Roberts. I thought Lea Michelle had dyed her hair.
ReplyDeleteWeirdness.
Watched Prisoners on a date with my husband tonight - it is really full on, but fucking awesome. Jake and Hugh were both brilliant. Careful though, cos I cried in bits. Oh, and Melissa Leo really is an outstanding actor.
ReplyDelete