Tuesday, October 01, 2013

If Miley Cyrus Was Pregnant

The same part of the internet population that believes that every celebrity turns up dead from a skiing accident in a far corner of the globe in the exact same place as the last celebrity who also was rumored to have died there believed that Miley Cyrus was pregnant yesterday. Now, has Miley been pregnant before? Rumors are always around about her being pregnant at one point with the baby of that guy who she tattooed on her breast. Justin? Yeah, i think that is his name. She was around 16 when they were dating and she got tatted up. You know because there is nothing quite so attractive as a 16 year old running around with a breast tattoo of the guy she thinks she is going to be with forever and turns out to last another month or two tops. I think he even moved into the Cyrus house at one point too just like Liam. It's where boyfriends go to die or at least scratch out their names on the wall wondering when Miley will let them out for bike riding and photo ops.

Anyway, I got off track here and meant to write about if Miley was pregnant it would have kept her on the front pages a while longer but she probably would have tired to keep twerking into the 8th month and done the whole naked on a tabloid cover and pregnant thing but would try and spice it up by having a group of little people holding her in the air while monkeys danced on her head. She would have become a proponent of stripper classes for pregnant women and would have to give up cigarettes, pot and Molly which would have resulted in a significant drop in the employment rate in the country. I'm pretty sure that she must be in the treasured drug dealer category of $2000 a week. That means she alone is making sure the dealer is earning six figures.


28 comments:

  1. What was even the point of this post?

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  2. Miley needs to go away.

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  3. That last line was pretty speculative

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  4. That's a great reveal! Thanks Enty. Off to google......

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  5. Anonymous8:41 AM

    Miley entertains me... this post is odd.

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  6. What.The.Holy.Fuck.Is.This.Even.About?!

    Methinks this Enty needs to stop drugging.

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  7. There needs to be a blackout of all things Cyrus related on gossip columns. Bored, bored, bored to the back teeth of them all.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. So did the website that wrote yesterday she was 6-8 weeks pregnant take down the story or not Enty??

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. Enty has been snorting maple syrup again. Clogged his brain and he can't think much less type a decent story.

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  13. She is a hillbilly, I'm sure she has has Paz style methbortions in the past.

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  14. Damn, Enty, how coked up are you?! That's the only time I ever babbled on and on and on like that about absolute bullsh*t...

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  15. ...and everything I said back then seemed so true at the time. Forgot about that.

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  16. Fugazi Enty started the Bacon and Meth version of the Atkins Diet. Wife #7 is out there, and she'll be easier to find w/ a couple hundred less pounds of flubber.

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  17. Is this a reveal about Miley's stupidity concerning birth control?

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  18. Personally I think Miley is a shrewd business woman. Se knows how to make a name for herself, and she doesn't care what it is.
    Is it so different than Katy perry naked in California girls or whatever that song is?
    Christina A naked in beautiful?
    Britney in slave for you?

    The only reason why people are all upset is cuz they remeber her as Montana. Sheesh. Over it

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  19. Um. So what/where is this picture from?

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  20. @NuaghtyNurse: I would guess The Weekly World News or some such site.

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  21. @NuaghtyNurse: I would guess The Weekly World News or some such site.

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  22. Which Enty has decided that Miley is the new Lohan?

    Because, seriously? Boring.

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  23. Anonymous10:53 AM

    @ West End Girl : Petshop Boys fan?

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