Blind Item #9
This A+ list mostly movie actress who was also A+ list on television apparently had a little accident while having sex this past week. I knew her boyfriend liked it rough and so does she but things must have been more crazy than usual. Handcuffs. Lost key. No saw. This is the inference from knowledge she likes it rough and the boyfriend running into a hardware store in a pair of shorts and no shirt and asking if the saw will cut handcuffs. Any other idea what it could have been?
Aniston
ReplyDeleteAnniston/thoreoux?..
ReplyDeletepls dont be kunis and kutcher..Aplus makes me....agast
Damn! Where are the cameras when these events happen? At least 98% of phones now have a camera.
ReplyDeleteThis is not uncommon in the ER when peeps don't lock the ratchet to stop them tightening and they have no key...
ReplyDeleteIf they're good quality, one of the police dropping off or picking up can often help, but yeah, usually not good quality!
If it's Jen and her beau, then at least he looked normally dressed.
oops I did it again......
ReplyDeleteThat is why you go for buckle or pad lock restraints. Maybe the nylon straps w/ velcro.
ReplyDeleteThank you Count. My thoughts exactly. Plus it's more comfortable. Or go with the aforementioned REI solution.
DeleteMine are super high quality velcro and padded. Can be connected to an over-the-door harness. Totally worth the investment.
ReplyDeleteCara, can I hear a little more about this over-the-door harness? Are you standing up against the door with your hands restrained over your head? If so, are your ankles also in restraints?
DeleteWe use handcuffs (endowed with pink feathers) that have a release button for such mishaps.
ReplyDeleteHahaha Count. I can just see the marketing for nylon straps with velcro.
ReplyDelete"For when you don't trust them with the safe word"
Hayden P :(
ReplyDeleteDon't think it is Aniston- ENTY consistently seems to refer to her a A only. That being said don't know a lot of A+ television( first) and then A+ movie actresses.
ReplyDeleteSally Field would fit but that's just a visual we don't need.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of, Wendy Davis please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT send in your picture for Reader Photo day.
Maybe he was getting the saw *before* they got into it. You know, just in case.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, if I was famous, I would do something like this just to mess with people. Like going into WalMart and asking for "extra jumbo, super-ribbed condoms". Or buying all the Redi-Whip in the grocery story and saying something like, "Demi's coming over later..."
Michelle Williams kind of fits I cant oat attention to the ratings anymore
ReplyDelete*pay attention* spelchek
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Bacon Ranch! The Flying Nun in handcuffs! Get it, Gidget!
ReplyDeleteMost cop shops, kink stores or locksmiths have spare 'cuff keys in stock.
ReplyDeleteStrap restraints just don't have the kink cachet of real handcuffs. There's something about the ratcheting sound when you slap 'em on her that's a turn on. Which is weird because I've been cuffed up by cops many times and that is definitely not fun.
By the way, if you don't want to pay the exorbitant prices that kink shops charge for restraints, just go to REI and buy a bunch of pack straps. Buck a pop, easy click-snap buckles, come in a variety of handy lengths. Not as sexy as chains, I grant you, but very practical.
ReplyDeleteDebbie Reynolds is totally freaky.
ReplyDeleteOlivia Wilde Jason Sudeikis
ReplyDeleteWorst thing about being cuffed by cops is trying to sit in the car with your hands behind your back. And the complete lack of leg room in a cop car sucks.
ReplyDelete@count - I was traveling last week but peeked in couple of times and saw a few comments about someone impersonating you- what's the story??
DeleteI would have said Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson, but no way is she A+ movies or tv.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, Diane probably already has a handcuff saw, just in case.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't ScarJo like it rough? Can she fit the clue?
ReplyDelete@TexasRose: a butthurted H8R got the bright idea that since they couldn't make me look bad with my own words, they would create a Fake Count Jerkula acct and say horrible things (pedo, rape, badmouthing my son & mother,etc), in attempt to tank my Q rating.
ReplyDeleteBeing a stupid twunce, the person didn't realize that a simple click on the name would show a profile created in Sept 2013 that had only double digit Profile Views. The person then made their profile private.
Having failed miserably at angering me and succeeding at making me a sympathetic figure, I imagine the moron spent the remainder of the weekend washing Midol and chocolate down with a box of white zin.
my kind of party
ReplyDelete"Worst thing about being cuffed by cops is trying to sit in the car with your hands behind your back."
ReplyDeleteAnd the asshole cops, despite being burly guys themselves, always cuff you up with one pair of cuffs. For a typical shaved ape-type guy, being single-cuffed amounts to torture. Even if they're packing two sets of cuffs, you can never get the cunts to double-cuff you.
Two hours in the back of a fucking squad car last time. The deputy was lucky I didn't knee him in the nuts for leaving me in the cuffs that long.
Don't have a reason to be cuffed, and it won't happen :)
DeleteCount - I'm sure Newton, Franklin, Socrates all had their share of haters and doubters- such is the lot of many pioneers. Only time will tell if Jerkula will be added to that distinguished list. I'm rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteMy eyes don't lie. I do ok for myself but I am not a delusional feminist either.
ReplyDeleteHow the hell does using handcuffs equal liking it rough? Unless you're beating someone with them, handcuffs are hardly "rough" play. I always have the key in my hands before the cuffs are locked into place. I read "Gerald's Game". Curse you, Stephen King, but I just can't be spontaneous about handcuffs now!
ReplyDeleteOh B., when will you learn to talk nice to the cops? They ain't gonna help you out if you're a-runnin' your mouth the entire time (as I imagine would be the case, knowing you, as I do, from the comment section of CDaN)!!
ReplyDeleteDon't hate the playa, hate the game, dude.
I get along fine with LEO's. There was even a time when a sergeant from the local PD wanted me to join his department. But cops--especially male cops--habitually do some dumb, abusive things, and one of them is using cuffs as a forced pacification tool. That is stupid. If you cuff up a big guy in what is essentially a stress position, the result is a pissed-off guy whom you're going to have to deal with uncuffed at some point.
ReplyDelete@B. - fair enough.
ReplyDelete@Harry - I sort of equate it to those "over the door" hooks people use to hang Christmas wreaths - it hooks over the top of a door but it's thin enough that you're able to close it. The harness divides into two longer straps so that you can cuff each wrist to it separately (the chain between my cuffs is a clasp that can come undone so you can hook them to other things), so the person is against the door with their arms spread out, or you can keep the wrists cuffed and clasp them to the strap above their head.
ReplyDeleteThe harness itself is strictly for wrists, but I do usually bind my sub's ankles when I have him against a door. Poor thing ;)
Cara, thanks so much for the explanation. I hope you will let me know when you get your Facebook page back up.
ReplyDeleteDammit Cara! I got baited and switched. I thought you were the sub. My apologies, Ma'am.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be Aniston and Theroux. When playing with handcuffs you always have the key somewhere in the play area before you put them on your partner. You need the key to double lock them for safety's sake anyway.
ReplyDeletehmmmm...a magic trick maybe?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it's an A+ actress who is dating a regular non celeb guy.
Charlize Theron?
ReplyDelete