During a speech this weekend at the Human Rights Campaign dinner in Seattle Wentworth Miller discussed how he attempted to kill himself on multiple occasions because he was living a lie as a closeted gay man. He said in the speech that the first time he tried to kill himself he was 15 years old and his parents were out of town. He says he took the whole bottle but doesn't remember anything else and doesn't even remember if he went to school the next Monday but thinks he did. I applaud him talking about all of this and coming out but I don't understand how you can remember taking the bottle pf pills but nothing that came after it the next few days or if you went back to school on Monday. Did he black it out? Did it really happen?
Wentworth said that over the years he tried to kill himself other times and that he has wanted to come out for years but was afraid he would lose everything he gained as an actor if he did and waited until the right time and wasn't working as much to finally come out in an open letter to the president of the St. Petersburg Film Festival.
I am glad that he came out and can be a role model, but he had mentioned that he had wished there could've been one for him. I think that by waiting until he was not at the top of his game to announce it, he just enforced that you can't do both. It is why I also feel that they guys at the top (jake g., spacey, and askars) should make the step forward. I mean Doogie has not been hurt by coming out.
ReplyDeletePlease CDAN readers don't jump down my throat but it seems to me that a lot of gay and lesbian entertainers....hell even straight ones jump on the no hate/stop gay bullying and suicide bandwagon to revitalize their careers. You haven't heard a word from people in years all of a sudden your inundated with their life struggles of growing up gay. Listen as a women of color in the business world, I deal with more adversity in my life than they could every dream of. Even in 2013 I am denied certain privileges because I am both my race and my gender. A homosexual person can never walk into a room and be judge by their sexual preference, I on the other hand, will be. And btw I am as pro gay rights and marriage as possible.
ReplyDeleteRafi, i worked in business world for many years, and i know exactly what you mean. Im not black, but of course coworkers were. We had a young woman who wanted to move up, and i came across article on hesitancy to promote women of color of they had braids. I was shocked, and i asked her if anything had been said to her, and said yes, it was 'suggested' she may move more quickly if she got rid of braids! Who cares? Apparently they did. None of this stuff is talked about; anyway, maybe it was same for him being gay.
DeleteWhy the rush to question if the guy was making it up?
ReplyDeleteFirst, it happened 25 years ago. Second, I would imagine the mental duress someone was under to not only consider, but attempt suicide probably played a factor in what he remembers from that time.
Give the guy a break, Enty, and applaud Miller for being so open and honest about something that he has struggled with.
"but I don't understand how you can remember taking the bottle of pills but nothing that came after it the next few days or if you went back to school on Monday."
ReplyDeletedear enty: its called trauma and repression.
enty or faux enty, whoever this is, why such snark? he did a very brave thing, you can tell from his speech that it was very heartfelt.
its one thing to be a gossip site. but this is turning into an early version of perez hilton w/o the white magic marker.
I agree,why hassle someone about their suicide attempts,snark on his hair his clothes,but not suicude memories. In poor taste man.that goes also for snarking on jolies cancer fears.
Delete@Rafi - you clearly don't know what you are talking about. Sexual orientation is no more protected from discrimination than race and gender. And even with legal protections LGBT people are discriminated against ALL. THE. TIME. My best friends are a lesbian couple and even though we live in a very "liberal" part of the country they still constantly have to deal with shit that boggles the mind. Just because some LGBT people who aren't out of the closet don't get discriminated against openly you have to remember that the only way for them to do that is to spend their public life pretending to be something they aren't. Imagine not being able to hold hands with your love in public. Or to even acknowledge them. I had a coworker who was in the closet and I ran into her and her SO at Costco and you should have seen the look on her face - she was so frightened that I would say something back at the office. Don't pretend you know what it is like to live someone else's life.
ReplyDeleteLucas, we once rented vacation home from my friends co worker. The co worker ginslly confessed she was gay because she cldnt get to house before us to remove pictures of them as couple. My friend was like relax, no worries, but imagine worrying about that all the time. When we were there, we were sitting around after busy day, and we were like what are these signs of gayness? All we saw was pic of couple, nothing else particularly gay. We felt bad she was so tense about it. And of course, clearly, we cld never be private investigators, lol.
DeleteFinally confessed i meant.
DeleteLucas, please don't even start at the end of the day whether gay straight bisexual or transgender you friend still enjoyed the white privileges that was afforded to him or her. I'm not even trying to start that type of conversation but that's the reality. Not saying that sexual orientation is more protected than race or ethnic discrimination, if you go back and read my post I said that any lesbian or gay person who walks into a room will not be judged by their sexual orientation because most of the time ppl don't wear t-shirts in to workplace that says I'm gay or I'm straight but at the end of the day any person of color (not just black) is already labeled as x y or z when they walk into the workplace. Please I work and go to grad school in a very conservative state and I have seen it time and time again.
DeleteWow Rafi, just wow.
DeleteAs a black bisexual woman, stop comparing the two. It's all the same struggle for civil rights!
DeleteI see your point. People will judge you as soon as they see you. But just as miley and her ilk have turned their probable oversexualuzation that happened in a victimizing way into a tool for empowerment and selfdetermination to get what they want professionally, .so too can you use your trauma to stand out from the pack of boring white guys. Turn your differences into strengths is what im saying in a roundabout rambling way.
DeleteI am sorry he had to go through that. I hope one day things are much different.
ReplyDeleteSo he was 15 and his parents left him ALONE at home with a bottle of pills for a lot of days (he says he doesn't know if he went to school, and if the teachers told his parents)? His parents deserve the "Parents of the Decade" award.
ReplyDeleteSeriously? "Who leaves a 15 year old with a bottle of pills?" Clearly you don't have children, because the answer to that is "every parent ever" provided they have enough money to buy a $3 bottle of ibuprofen. Nobody locks the OTC painkillers up around teenagers
DeleteI have to say I am a little troubled by the insinuation that closeted gay people who live in the public eye have some duty to the rest of the gay world to come out while they are on top of their game.
ReplyDeleteThey are people with private lives and all have different life circumstances just like the hetero population.
Why is it expected that he would or should plan his coming out during a time that would "send a proper message" to other gay people?
He is a grown man. He is not a teen idol. He may have come out at a moment when he had the passion and felt the safety to do it.
He may have done it when he was drunk.
How the fuck do we know.
Its his decision.
Not every one is angling for the perfect PR
Seems to me this guy was pretty shy about being gay and I know he is a little self absorbed(friend of friend is well acquainted with him), but he came out.
Good for him. Why are you looking for a flaw or an angle in that action?
Je, agree.
DeleteAgreed ,its their life,their pain fear families psyche as well as their fall out. Theyre dealing with enough pain and conflict leave the poor closeted gays aloooooooone!
DeletePeople can block out large blocks of time that surround traumatic events. It's not an unusual reaction.
ReplyDeleteI loved him in prisonbreak-the tortured soul, unlucky in love. Sigh. So im happy if he's happy and i dont deny anything he says he went thru.
ReplyDeleteI dont get why anyone cares about actors sexual orientation anyway. Their whole business is pretending to be someone else; who cares what they start out as?
I thought I was the only one who watched Prison Break. That whole cast was amazing.
DeleteKris-good to meet fellow breaker, lol. What about character Tbag, how freaking creepy was he??!!
DeleteI think that what Rafi meant was that gay people have the option of keeping that aspect of their life to themselves to protect their career, while you don't really have the "choice" to hide your race or gender when you walk into a room. I don't think she was saying that people who are gay face less adversity than women or black people.
ReplyDeleteIts just another layer tbh. When I walk into a room, you see black first, then a woman, then if we talk about girls, you see bisexual. And its ALL hard to deal with because different people have different prejudices. This person might not be racist but hes homophobic. This one might not be homophobic but hes sexist. On top of all this, I have a degree in Jewish Secular Studies- a Neo Nazi dream. These are issues I deal with everyday and I don't think people realize that they all just fuckin suck. I love meeting people who accept and UNDERSTAND all of me, but this is very rare. I found myself trying to downplay certain things, trying to figure out what identity i had at certain places. Its exhausting but because of all the freakin prejudices in this society, I have to do that.
DeleteThere is no comparison. Try walking into a room with a shit ton of X's on your forehead and tell me if youre gonna start comparing them. Black, woman, bi, jewish- its all the same struggle.
So I love Wentworth and I hope that he is opening doors to make it easier for me to be comfortable with myself.
Kels, i would think you'd be pretty popular, you're so interesting!!
Delete@jw11, closet gay stars have no obligation to come out, however, when you look at the trans, bi, gay suicide rates especially in young teens that are trying to cope with be accepted as gay, it would be beneficial for the stars to lead the way and remove the stigma.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who believes in "white privilege" is fucking retarded. What exactly is our privilege? Getting to foot the bill for minorities? Getting to see them receiving promotions, scholarships, jobs that they aren't qualified for BECAUSE of their color? Being the target of their criminal behavior and violence and hatred? Not being able to set foot in certain neighborhoods, etc because they will kill us if we do? Yeah, some privilege. Not sure where any of you grew up but I spent my childhood watching minorities get every chance, every excuse to explain their violence, stupidity and criminality while whites had to follow the rules to the letter. Then I grew up and saw the same shit, just with adults in a different place! Fuck this bullshit, white privilege is white man's burden, let's be real.
ReplyDeleteWe cant possibly know what it feels like to be a black or mixed child in america and see white barbies,white disney characters,white everything,yes the presidents black and thats wonderful but in no way are minorities being handed anything.imo. one thing women have learned is youve got to be better than your male counterpart,not just as good, same for minorities. Not sure where you live that minorities are being handed management and gov jobs for not being white.
DeleteLOL. Is all I can say. EL oh fuckin el. You cannot be serious, this is clearly a troll.
DeleteTo answer some of the questions here, about him at 15, he comes from a very upright and professional family who might've had no idea what he was going through, especially after his parents divorced. Both his father and his sisters are lawyers and his father runs a law tutoring program and like many successful families, they probably had no idea what was on his mind at the time. He's also biracial and that added to some of the teen angst that led to this.
ReplyDeleteI was a big fan of Prison Break, the first few seasons were a huge cult hit. Fox deliberately and forcefully shoved him in the closet despite all the rumors going on about his sexuality. They made other cast members blatantly lie about him not being gay. Supposedly they were worried fans would abandon the show if they knew he was gay. It was a big mess all around and not fooling anyone and eventually Wentworth made a statement saying he wasn't going to discuss his private life any longer. And no, he's not doing this to revitalize his career, he's been working as a screenwriter and wrote the screenplay to Nicole Kidman's movie Stoker.
I was a fan and watched show. I had no idea he is biracial and I never wondered if he was gay in real life. Instead I was very caught up with his charactor.
DeleteSo, RememberKermitGosnell, you were never alone in the house for a few days when you were a teenager? It certainly isn't unheard of you know, and people can kill themselves taking a bottle of Tylenol. Don't blame his parents.
ReplyDeleteLet us not forget, when this man was younger, he lived with the Simspon family & Joe was his pastor. That should say enough about why he was so screwed up from his teen years to the time he went to prison for manslaughter.
ReplyDelete@ Rafi: sorry to see that you got jumped on but I understand what you meant and agree with your point of view. The differentiation in discrimination that Rafi wanted to bring to the debate was indeed the fact that she is systematically judged at mere eye contact.
ReplyDeleteIn principle, all discriminations are equally bad and hurtful. In reality, some happen before or differently than others.
actually, it's Lane Garrison that lived with the Simpson family and wound up pleading guilty to manslaughter--NOT Wentworth Miller.
ReplyDeleteWithout trying to start a flame war here, I'd like to interject something regarding the whole "race" thing.
ReplyDeleteI am a white woman. I grew up overseas amidst a literal melting pot of cultures and races. I grew up to not judge anyone by their skin color, culture, religion, etc, and it's something I still practice to date. HOWEVER, while I might not make an issue of race at all or even look at a person any different for it, I have had it shoved down my throat COUNTLESS times by many minorities regarding all the atrocities committed against them by MY KIND (aka, my ethnicity). It's a smack in the face, honestly. I am not judging anyone for anything and it seems the race issue gets brought up by them countless times. I've worked in public service and I cannot tell you how many times I had black, arab, or hispanic customers accusing me of being racist when I was merely following protocol. It hurts. How can you convince people "hey, I'm just doing my job - I'm not judging you" when they are hell bent on assuming you are?
It sucks. I've tried my entire life to be very open with people of all races and backgrounds and honestly don't care what ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion affiliate with so long as you're a decent human being. Yet no matter what I do or how I try to present myself, there are just some people who are going to assume you are one of "them." So I can honestly see both sides of the story. Working for the State, I've seen affirmative action give jobs to people based on their ethnicity or sexual orientation alone (yes, I had a job where a promotion I was in line for and had years of experience in, given over to another homosexual man merely because he was best friends with our homosexual boss and he had had no experience in the industry prior to coming to work there as a receptionist). But I've also seen many others denied opportunities for the color of their skin as well. It's a crazy world we live in, honestly. People always jump to conclusions about the color of skin but you have to remember, at one point, the Irish immigrants in the US were treated worse than blacks and what about the Asian immigrants who worked the railways? People have committed atrocities to others throughout the years and the color of race, religion, or sexual orientation should NOT be an issue, but it is, unfortunately. :(
That said, I adore Wentworth Miller and totally applaud him for being as strong as he is. He is an extremely intelligent guy and an awesome singer in addition to an amazing actor. I only hope the best for him. :)
(please don't flame me. I'm just trying to mediate a point here and not take any sides or cause any drama)
I took one Quaalude when I was 14 and I lost 3 days. Remember nothing, but was apparently functioning. That was an evil drug.
ReplyDeleteDiscrimination, sexism, racism exists. White Privilege is not a made up term, it exists. For some. Not all, but for some it does. Your situation is not the same as mine. What happened to to you is not what happened to me. And no two situations will ever be the same.
ReplyDeletePeople also use the race card to their advantage at times which makes it tougher for those that actually have it happen to them.
I don't understand why we can't have an open discussion before someone points fingers and acts like it's harder for some than others. It's not a contest. Discrimination sucks. Period.
I took a Valium --per a doctor's order-once. Apparently I have a low tolerance for them. I was out of it for two days. I even went to Walmart and don't remember it. ..heck maybe I should ask for more of the damn things for grocery days.
ReplyDeleteI was at the dinner and heard it with my own ears. As much as I hate to admit it, it felt false. I loved Prison Break, and was excited to see him, but the way he described his suicide attempt came off extremely vague, planted in the middle of a very well written, very clear speech. It's the kind of fuzzy math murkiness one uses when creatively interpreting the past to your advantage. I'm sure he had plenty of difficulties being gay, but it all smacked of "career move". He's an actor, and he's got that "thing" that draws people's attention and wins sympathy. I still like him. I mean, his calculated outing brought a really important issue some airtime: Russia's homophobic government. We need a gay Jessie Owens to win the gold!!!
ReplyDeleteI was going to let this one slide, but I can't after reading the last comment. First of all, if you take a large amount of pills to try and kid yourself, it is completely plausible to take an overdose, remember you took the overdose, but forget what happens after you wake up.
ReplyDeleteSecond thing. Let's say Miller either lied or embellished about the suicide attempt. What harm has he done? Plenty of gay kids who are struggling themselves now have another role model to look to and help them get through the bad times and hopefully not take that bottle of pills like he said he did. And it should also be noted that gay teens are more likely to either attempt to kill themselves, or actually catch the bus Fifteen year old Wentworth Miller didn't do something all that unusual as a gay kid.
@Bravura-- is it possible he didn't get the job because he's a gay friend of a gay boss, but because he was more qualified than you in ways you are not aware of? You talk about assumptions on every side but your own.
ReplyDeleteBasil, I know what you mean and I agree that it's better that he came out, regardless of his motives. But reading detail into the facts of his suicide is futile. If he wanted us to know the details, he would have given them. As it was, he missed a great opportunity to reel the audience in and make his point very powerfully. But the speech lacked power. It was clear in the first part, then suddenly hazy, then clear again. When he walked out on the stage, he came out and put his hand over his heart while everyone cheered, like he was saying, "For me?" It was a performance. And I'd watch it again, and I still like him. You gotta do what you gotta do in Hollywood.
ReplyDelete