If you want to look like Lindsay Lohan, I can tell you how to do it without spending $25K on surgery. The great thing about my plan is you don't have to change your hair color because Lindsay changes hers all the time. The first thing you need is a friend who will use a Sharpie to cover your body in freckles. Head to toe. While they are doing this you should read a copy of Cat Burglary For Dummies and make an appointment with your doctor to get hooked up on some Adderall prescriptions. To be more like Lindsay you should crush it and snort it rather than just take it by mouth. While your friend is applying the freckles have them take some naked photos of you while you wear a blonde wig like Marilyn Monroe. Use the photos and place an ad on various escort sites around the world but say you are only interested in Middle Eastern guys and they need to host and to provide a car.Walk around chain smoking cigarettes and use makeup to make sure you look 30 years older than your actual age. Throw your bras in the trash and use that money on water bottles which you will fill with vodka. Walk around all day and tell people you are going to win an Academy Award and that you are working on several projects but remain vague about whether any of them involve acting or if you will actually get paid.
Lindsay's half-sister had five separate procedures and got in a tabloid. Next step is a porn video or reality show.
