Blind Items Revealed
June 23, 2013
This spectacular a-hole of a celebrity who should be permanently banned to the F list was at a party last week and said that the worst celebrity sex he ever had was with this former almost A list mostly movie actress who now spends more time in trouble than on film sets. He said that all she wanted was his coke and when he tried to collect she actually asked if she could text while he was having sex with her.
Joe Francis/Lindsay Lohan
There's a nice visual first thing in the morning
ReplyDeleteAlmost A List? What did he say in response though?
ReplyDeleteHa! You can say she doesn't care about him enough to pay attention during the sex, but the reality is she doesn't care enough about herself to pay attention to who is filling her full of man spackle.
ReplyDelete@dee: I figured he said, "OK, doggy will work."
ReplyDeleteCan't say I blame her: he's grotesque! I say, good for her!
ReplyDeleteThis is sad from every angle both literally and figuratively.
ReplyDeleteWho is Joe Francis?
ReplyDeleteThis makes me feel really sad for Lindsay. That must be a horrible way to live.
Do not Google that piece of slime. It is bad enough he talked about this. You do not wanna know.
DeleteUr sad that she whored herself out for some coke to the guy who makes millions off getting girls to show their boobz on camera? U do know she had a choice in the matter.
DeleteWho doesn't multi-task during sex??? That's why I like it in the kitchen. I can blanch my Brussel sprouts before sauteing them with onions and pancetta. Ahhhh love.
ReplyDeleteHa ha One Eye: you must be a female? My hubby can only do one thing at a time. Like sex. All the blood rushes from the brain.
Deletebarf!
ReplyDeletei don't even wanna imagine the smells that filled that room.
They are both scaberous wounds on society. These two and others like them should only pester and infest each other and leave the rest alone.
ReplyDeletepoor guy !
ReplyDeletehe's ugly,he's as interesting as some Brussel sprouts and even Lindsay think it
and i forgot he's guilty of sexual assaults (i think)
Hahaha, thanks @count/oneeyecharlie.now going to bleach my minds' eye.
ReplyDelete@its just U: Joe Francis is the Girls Gone Wild guy.
ReplyDeleteIn case any one is having a hard time visualizing: Not Safe For Work
I just fell in love with the phrase, "man spackle."
ReplyDeleteI just fell in love with the phrase, "man spackle."
ReplyDeleteThe funny part is her asking if she could text. Just do it, girlfriend. Text 'girls don't go wild over this package, must be the coke.' Snap a pic of his o face and instagram it. Tweet about his performance. You know you want to!
ReplyDeleteLOL 7!!!! Now I can't stop remembering the scene from Mallrats w/ Ben Affleck saying, "Call me daddy, call me....whi's your favorite New Kid??" lmao!!!
Delete@CountJerkula: Aieee! My eyeballs just cringed! Is she texting, "Not much, just hanging out w/ the Ass Whisperer"?
ReplyDeleteJoe Francis was startled that Lindsay Lohan was only w/ him for his drugs? Who would ever have anything to do w/ the likes of him if they *didn't* have ulterior motives? Does he think he's a big dreamboat or something?
+1 7 of 11!
ReplyDeleteJust do it! LOL
@Blondie: 'man spackle' had me thinking it would harden up inside...not so appealing. LOL
ReplyDelete@SyDy: "Ass Whisperer", I think I need that on a business card.
ReplyDeleteI cannot think of two people who deserve each other more.
ReplyDeleteFor Lindsay it's the drugs and the money....the sex is just a means to get it
ReplyDeletejoe francis is an asshole but i would hardly describe him as ugly. besides everyone knows linds prefers the ladies and only has sex with men for other benefits
ReplyDeleteSo the coke-monster isn't a cock-monster. Dually noted.
ReplyDeleteGuess he wasn't very exciting in bed. If a man is good in bed, a woman will stop whatever she's doing. Texting would be the last thing on her mind.
ReplyDeleteCount Jerkula , that comment ahh ass whisperer on a card statement has me cracking up!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete@ Angela C: I'm semi serious. I've been considweing launching Butt For The Bible . Org. An online resource for anal only virgins. Then if thr response is there, full day seminars and possibly an advanced class or 2 later on, for interested parties.
DeleteIf I ever get my Bible Butts seminar going to educate anal only virgins, it will be my tag line on my card. I figure to start off with a .org, and move forward with full day seminars if I get a decent response. Advanced lessons available for intersted parties of course. I have an outline of seminar sessions somewhere on the net.
DeleteMy first thought was that they deserve each other.
ReplyDelete"Ass Whisperer" sounds like the name of the next Terrance and Phillip movie!
ReplyDeletecan you blame the girl? that guy is a douche and a half, she is saving her supply of feigned interest for the men that actually pay her cash. She cant be wasting her precious energy on someone that only has blow
ReplyDeleteLike anyone would have sex with him for anything other than coke. She just didn't bother to hide it.
ReplyDeleteWas not happy to see via the reality show that Melissa and Joan Rivers consider Joe Francis a friend. I'd like to think they'd be more discriminating.
ReplyDeleteSounds like HE was the worst sex she'd ever had.
ReplyDeletePut a sock in it, Count. I'm sure you have stories about even that, but STFU.
ReplyDeleteHe still went through with it, yet HE'S disparaging HER. Okay, Big Guy.
ReplyDeleteMadLyb: Just for you, I'm going to scour the internets to find my full pitch.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the double post up there, I though my cellphone ate the first one.
ReplyDeleteThis is by request for MadLyb. I hope she enjoys it:
The world of Anal Only Virgins is rapidly expanding. But these innocent youngsters are ill prepared for anal sex, which can cause physical and emotional damage if not properly administered. That is why I am seeking backers to launch the first Jesus based buttsecks seminar for teens, so young girls won’t have to worry about their boyfriends shtupping the Christless whore down the street.
Here at the Making Love Without Making Babies Resource Center, we will teach Anal Only Virgins how to demonstrate love through the buttocks, while saving their heart and vagina for Jesus. Any virgin above the age of consent in her state is eligible to attend the full day seminar. We will need a volunteer or 2 per session. Each volunteer will be given a modest discount on the seminar fee. Just fill out the Voluteer Section on the application, and submit face and body photos. Also, everyone attending will be given gift bags containing some items that will be useful in your pursuits.
There will be a short intro “Why Save the Holy Hole”, 2 morning sessions, “Your Anus and You” and “Analingus: The Benefits of Licking It Before Sticking It”; followed by lunch, and 2 afternoon sessions, “Butt Plugs, Dildos & Lube, OH MY!” and “The Dirty Deed in the Dirty Place.”
If that isn’t enough for you, then AOVs seeking a private, advanced class should inquire in person with the Seminar Leader following completion of the day’s event.
We will be booking hotel conference rooms once our market research determines the areas of most interest.
If you can’t save your vagina for Jesus, why should he save your soul?
I don't know if I've shared this on this board, but a friend of mine who attends a certain apocalyptic American faith (they have their own "bible") was taught in church that only penis-in-vagina activity was "sex," so when her son had anal with someone in the local "ward," she wasn't able to be angry with him.
ReplyDelete