Blind Item #6
This B-/C+ list celebrity of A+ list offspring was limping badly this week. She had tried to run from her celebrity boyfriend when he was wasted and violent and fell down the stairs. She says he didn't actually hit her..this time.
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I know what offspring of celebrity means, but what is celebrity of offspring?
ReplyDeleteWow, I fell down the stairs, or I walked into a door are still being used?
ReplyDeleteFucking DV is evil in any form.
I actually did walk into a door once and ended up with a black eye. Wasn't even dating anyone, but of course everyone thought I was a DV victim!
DeleteScandal: so did I. Drunkenly. Twice. And I DID fall down some stairs. At the time I was working with forensic pathologists who all exchanged knowing looks when I recounted the causes of my bruises!
DeleteLol I hear you! The girl who waxed my brows a few days after the door incident definitely didn't buy my explanation for the black eye. It's like a woman with a bruise is automatically assumed to be beaten.
DeleteScandal: my clumsiness will be my hubbies undoing! God help us if I ever sustain a major injury!
Delete@Cathy, good question.
ReplyDeleteFrancesca Eastwood/Tyler Shields
ReplyDeleteOr
Riley Keough/Alex Pettyfer (except he allegedly doesn't drink?)
Paulina Gretsky and her golf guy? (I don't know anything about golf, or I'd know his name)
ReplyDelete@parissucksliterally- Dustin Johnson but not them- she has him wrapped around her finger.
DeleteI always hate it when a chick I'm with gets bruised up and I didn't get to put it on her. Slip and fall on ice, drunken stumble and tumble in heels, etc. Sometimes I'll eyeball the bruises during sex and fantasize about how I could have given them to her. That always helps me get over the top.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a real sperm party, Count
ReplyDeleteShe should be running in one direction-away friom this dude. If the best you can say is he didnt hit me this time, its time to go. All of our friends that were/are victims of DV know the signs all too well. Run!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell yeah @Count I understand because ppl see the bruises and are gonna think you did it anyway.
ReplyDeleteEnty, you really have no grasp of your native language...
ReplyDeleteLOL sperm party is my new favorite catch phrase.
ReplyDeleteAlex Pettyfer is known for his anger and violence, such a shame because dayum is that boy beautiful.
Emma Roberts?
ReplyDeleteThis is so badly written, but Riley Keough fits if the blind is read a certain way. I'd giver her a B-/C+ ranking and Mom Lisa-Marie Presley would be the offspring of an A+ lister. Given that there are stories of Alex Pettyfer having a temper, I would definitely say them (isn't he rumored to have gotten rough with Diana Agron when they dated?).
ReplyDeleteGot no guess for the blind, but my boyfriend and I were watching MTV in the early 90s (when they actually had videos) and he was headbanging and his forehead hit my eye. Yes, there was drinking involved. I had started my first professional job and was mortified so I made up a story about a roller blade accident. Of course, a couple of people took me aside and expressed concern. It was embarrassing, but at least they cared.
ReplyDeleteNew nickname for Mr Jerkula? Sperm Count.
ReplyDelete@Maddie, I like your guess.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Whitney and Bobby's child, Bobby Kristina?
ReplyDeleteWho is Kimberly Stewart dating?
ReplyDeleteAt my age, 56, I've dealt myself a helluva lot more damage than I ever allowed any man my whole life.
ReplyDeleteBroken leg...ice in winter. Damaged ankles, etc.
Also, before I even GOT married I wore a pair of high heel shoes in the 1970s that caught on the carpeted staircase in the dead middle of summer (apartment complex).
Mind you, I had just taken a shower and was on my way out. I snagged my heel and fell backwards a few steps.
Ended up late to my appointment, but at least clean and in flat shoes.
I don't believe I've worn high heels since the 80s.
As for black eyes, they can come from any where.
I used to drive a truck for the public schools delivering lunch food in the 80s. While attempting to train a new employee, I poked my self in order not to hit the new employee with a steel bar that braced the huge containers in the truck.
Black eye.
I went to the local clinic. Everyone tried to make me say that some man had beaten on me; I simply took them out to the big ass truck they assumed I was lying about and pointed at it.
I guess the bottom line is that some folks like me can do more damage than any one else can.
Also for the record: on my 21st birthday a man raised a hand to me. I broke the tequila bottle and held the jagged edge to his throat. I also said it would be the last person he ever raised a hand to.
My parents raised me better than that.
Just saying. I know and have extracted battered women since I was 19 years old.
The only thing a California girl like me never learned was to navigate ice and snow in the wintery Midwest.
Been married for over 33 years; never an issue. He picked me up whenever I fell down.
One simply has to choose the right person and stick with them. They don't have to perfect or even pretty. They just have to be committed to you and love you.
Count: I suspect any woman involved with you would get bruises due to running away from you as fast as is humanly possible. Your arsehole vibe is getting stale.
ReplyDelete@kerri: l'ma have to hop in to the toaster and freshen up then.
ReplyDelete