Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Today's Blind Items - He Couldn't Perform

Last week I did a few crazy hookups where I gave you one half of the couple and made you guess the other half. I almost did it again with this one, but, it's pretty easy, so figured you could get it without the extra help. Oh, and this one will be revealed. So, imagine if you will a reality star. At the time she was an A list reality star. She is still almost an A list celebrity. She hooked up with this A+ list mostly movie actor who is still A+ list. Both of them had been drinking heavily and our reality star was also known for doing things other than booze, and had been having some considerable helpings of the other stuff. Our actor had no idea who she was, but at this party, she had been eyeing him and knew exactly who he was and also was desperate to stay in the public eye and thought that he would be a great catch and was perfectly willing to f**k him if needed. She made it very clear she would and the two of them left the party together. They went back to where he was staying and started fooling around and the time came to do the deed and the guy couldn't. Not even the tiniest bit at attention. Drinking? Drunk? Not interested? Our celebrity tried some other tricks but couldn't manage to get him going. The actor took some chemical help and they sat around and waited and during that time, she realized that she didn't even like the guy that much, but figured she could close her eyes and be done with it and he is and was really good looking. After almost an hour, our actor still wasn't getting close and our celebrity was growing less and less fond of the actor and when he suggested a different trick to get him in the mood, our celebrity said she had to go and left. She had been driven there by the actor, but just walked out and walked down the street and called a cab and got out of there and never spoke to the actor again.


33 comments:

  1. I'm assuming Paris Hilton is the reality star. Maybe Nicole Richie? The actor - I have no clue. Paris was my thought for the star though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Johnny Depp. Wasn't there a blind that he couldn't get it up?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Could be Leo, there has been talk..

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wouldn't consider Paris to be nearly an A list celebrity now. That's setting the bar awfully low!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I thought Kiebler and Clooney until that last sentence.

    Every time I see Kiebler's name, I think of the Keebler elves commercials.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brandi Glanville for the reality star?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Leo. There have been rumors he has issues with the ole bologna pony.

    ReplyDelete
  8. How about Snooki and Sean Penn? Id like to think that a-hole couldn't get it up!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Didn't Brandi schtup Gerard Butler? And he couldn't remember who she was? Doesn't sound like it's that (not so) blind though. Hope not Repeatenty.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tomathelia Cruise and one of his punk added bitch boys.

    Issue: Is Cruise a top or a bottom pig? Discuss.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Could this be Woodie (Ironic name no extra charge) Harrelson? There was a blind a long time ago claiming Emma Stone was ready willing and able but Big Woodie couldn't get little woodie into fighting shape so they played Scrabble instead.

    ReplyDelete
  12. How about keibler and Leo? Wasn't there a blind about her sitting on his lap to make clooney jealous?

    ReplyDelete
  13. This feels a lot like the Brandi story with butler. I'll say its her and another celeb..

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous10:49 AM

    I was imediately thinking Butler...Brandi does have a big mouth, and is a fame whore

    ReplyDelete
  15. Russell Crowe for the actor?

    ReplyDelete
  16. I thought Paris too, but I wouldn't think her or Brandy are A list.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous11:05 AM

    Kristin Cavalerri comes to mind-tho i am leary of ANYONEvthinking.she still Alist....
    Gerard Butler and Clooney both fit

    ReplyDelete
  18. Like it or not, Paris probably still has A list name recognition, and she is known for doing coke, If A plus list actor was ALSO doing coke that could explain the lack of an erection.

    This really isn't much of a blind. Some drunk and stoned guy couldn't get it up? That happens every freaking night anywhere in the world. He still could have taken care of her though. I've been there.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm with Basil, substance abuse and can't get hard? Nothing alarming. However he's a scmuck if he couldn't enjoy himself in other ways and also let her have her pleasure.But nope, as usual it's just about HIS peen.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Can't be Glanville/Butler, didn't she say the sex was fantastic? Also, who wouldn't know who Paris Hilton is?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I totally read this as Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

    ReplyDelete
  22. How about Audrina Patridge and Chris Pine? There was that rumor about them back in oh 09' I believe

    ReplyDelete
  23. R

    D

    J
    Not! Susan doesn't let that man out of her sight and he has a sober coach that travels with him. Also it would have said married A+ actor.

    This is Clooney or Butler.

    ReplyDelete
  24. He at least could have offered to take care of HER!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous7:09 PM

    I hate to say it but wasn't Paris A+ back in the day?

    It does kind of sound like Brandi and Butler, there was a blind before that he couldn't get it up, Butler said publicly he only denied it because he didnt know who she was and it says its easy.

    If it is shouldn't even be a blind, should just say she lied when she said he was great, they didnt even do it

    ReplyDelete
  26. Definitely not Gerry because he's not "mostly movie" he's "all movie." And they did have sex. And she did brag how good he was.

    And NO WAY is or was she an A+ anything. She's a B-wannabe.

    My guess: Honey Boo-Boo and Seth Rogan

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  27. Nichole Richie, for the female. Everyone knows Paris. Even before she was famous.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Brandi and Gerry Butler?

    ReplyDelete