March 15, 2013
Even though this former Tweener who is now a B list actress has cheated on her boyfriends in the past and had sex during those times, apparently she is a straight up turn off the lights, missionary person who says she just does it because her boyfriends want to do it and not because she thinks it is all that fun. She says, "I would rather just have my life be like Grease, where we kiss and hug."
Selena Gomez
Ehh, we're not all like the Count.
ReplyDeleteTo count "jerks off on my face" ula.
DeleteWhy do bring your brand of sick sex acts, into your dialogue?: And you--Raunch Around....nobody cares a flying "FUCK" wherever you're at... Die in Sydney---the gay capital of the World.
Better yet, take your repulsive looking self & dump yourself in Darling Harbor....fucking Barnyard Bitch
@Mona, Xanax is spelled the same forward and backward. Supposedly helps with the DTs, too.
DeleteSeven: delerium tremens indeed!
DeleteI seem to be continuously mentioned by Mona, even when not here! I don't live in Sydney "the gay capital". I live in Melbourne. Nice to know Mona's homophobic tendencies. I cannot believe you said that Mona! Do you not like people who aren't white also? No wonder you loathe me. Mwah!!
She just hasn't met the right guy yet - or the right lady.
ReplyDelete^Yep
ReplyDelete@DocP: Work on it. With a little time and effort, you can achieve greatness, too.
ReplyDeleteWell then no wonder bieber boy cheats on her!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry and im a chick too!!
Bull. There's no way a girl spends that much time in dance class and sings a full album about loving sex unless she's got some game.
ReplyDeleteHasn't met the right guy or girl yet.
All that hotness wasted. Damn
ReplyDeleteExplains her friendship with Taylor and why JB is such a little cheating douche.
ReplyDeleteShes just a kid who grew up too soon and never got a chance to really develop her true feelings. She will eventually:)
ReplyDeleteIs this why her PR team is pushing her to look sexy, act sexy, dress sexy????
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine sex with JB is fun.
ReplyDeleteShe looks like fun maybe some tequila would help.
ReplyDeleteprobably boyfriends who don't know what they are doing in bed...someone needs to buy her a B.O.B.
ReplyDelete@auntliddy I disagree. I think famous folk stop developing mentally at the age they become famous despite getting older. A few do grow up and realize the world isn't about them but very few.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's why you don't have sex till you are "ready." If you start too early, your attitude abbout it gets messed up.
ReplyDelete^^THIS^^
Delete@NuttyFlavor true!
ReplyDeleteI don't think 19 year olds can get the gist of intimacy. They don't stay with one person long enough to explore that person's mind and body to truly appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI know Doc. If she's bangin self absorbed twits like Beiber I expect this attitude.
ReplyDeleteFirst thing I would do when we entered the bedroom is cock block her on her way to the lightswitch, press her up agaist the wall, shove my hand in her panties and start finger banging her, while groping her tits and grinding my clothed cock into her ass. Once my hand is sopping wet from her juices, I'd walk her over to the bed and bend her over it, pull down her panties and stick my face in there. Tongue on the clit, nose snuffled up to her asshole. I'd keep licking until my tongue and jaw are worn out. At this point she would be instructed to get on all 4s on the bed. If she gave me any grief id give her a spank and tell her again. This would continue until she was on all 4s or out the door. Then I'd insert my right index finger into the moist snatch and use the middle finger of that hand to keep working the clit. When she neares the orgasm, I'd use my tongue to do light circles around her o ring. Once I feel the orgasm kick off fart box tongue darting will ensue. I'd keep her riding that orgasm until my hand and tongue were shot or she begged for cock loud enough. I'd also make her tell me where she wanted it, figuring she will say pussy. From there I get on MY back and tell her to show me what she's got. And definitely no rubber and blow my load in her.
If that don't get her craving orgasms enough to enjoy sex, then I'd introduce a vibrator for round 2.
Really though, I think the blind is bullshit. No way Beiber ain't hittin that doggystyle.
Oh, and there is a name for chicks who don't like sex, just foreplay: Lesbian.
Oh my......
DeleteWhat's wrong, jerkula? Can't find an under-age to do it for you!!! Burn in Hell, Pedro.
DeleteYou sure have a way with words, Count (and I mean this in a good way)
Delete@mona smith: you are a completely deluded cunt with some sort of misplaced anger going on. You are a welcome edition to the community here. Once your Shark Week has passed, you'll be allover my junk. And if I post some sexy stories while you are in your 3 horny days of the month, you'll probably send me some butthole pics. I am looking forward to it.
DeleteCount, you give porn disguised as romance novels a good run for the money. I'd read more of your stuff.
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DeleteLol! Luv it! Made my day!
DeleteCOUNT! Good God DAYUM!!! My man got the absolute best of me last night, and you deserve a little bit of the credit. xoxo
DeleteThat's so odd! The popular guess was definitely Swifty. I am guessing she hasn't listened to any of the lyrics of Grease, what with p**#$y wagon and rocks coming off and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteOh my indeed, cleo.
ReplyDeleteOne last thought: sex is one of the most addictive drugs out there. If you wanna bitch to be into it and keep coming back for more, you gotta give her a high to chase.
I had a lot of sex when I was young (15-20+) because it was expected of me and I was beautiful. I thought it was alright, sometimes great, but generally a bit of a task.
ReplyDeleteNow I am in my 30s it is much different. As young as Selena is, this quote doesn't surprise me in the slightest, I felt the same way.
By the way (hello everybody!) I miss commenting so much but my iPhone doesn't work to comment anymore (?!) and I cannot comment from work. It makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteCount Jerkula - I'm so glad you joined us, you are a sick f*CK but I enjoy your genuine participation and honest perspective. A colorful addition to our community.
Also - New Enty sucks balls, always so nasty and unnecessarily vile towards undeserved subjects (Aniston's bathroom wallpapered in tabloid covers, really?).
New Enty sucks and isn't lovable at all, I liked old Enty. :(
Well that's a pretty funny autocorrect
ReplyDeleteIf she's mostly been having sex with selfish twats like Bieber, it's no wonder it sucks for her! She needs to wait until she finds a real man.
ReplyDeleteThank you hunter. I appreciate being called a "sick fuck". I where that as a badge of honor and genuinely apsire to fit the bill.
ReplyDeleteThank you Doc. It has come to my attention that some broads around here use my creative tales to...uh.."take care of biddness", so I try to spin a good yarn for em when the opportunity arises. Kind of a pay it forward thing.
I just tripped over a trail of broken hearts and wet panties, the count must be in town!
ReplyDeleteP.S who let you inside my head? Ha ha ha
Aw, little broken bird, that was sweet. If yer ever in Jersey, ill take those broken wings and teach you to fly again and live so free.
ReplyDeleteDarn Atlantic Ocean, getting in my way again!
DeleteEh, I'd imagine she got this attitude not from having sex w The Biebs, but rather the "in the biz" older guy her mom hooked her up w/ to advance her career past kiddie stuff. That's too bad.
ReplyDeleteI think you're on the right path there
DeleteCount jerk-off & raunch around need to find a special websites, so they can find someone who gives a fuck about he/her about their pathetic sex lives. "Fisting kittens" --isn't funny---you stupid count
ReplyDeleteMona I come from a place of reason, where it's anatomically impossible and highly improbable that you can actually do that to a kitten, rest easy. P.S the rest of you, if I am wrong I don't want to be corrected! :-)
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DeleteLittle bird: I think Iove you.
DeleteFisting kittens? My cat us treated better than most old people: we're mere servants & lodgers to him.
Mona needs to stop mixing her meds with antifreeze chasers. And get laid.
@mona: blow it out your ass, kook.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leah. The more I hear stuff like that, the more I consider making a blog of depravity.
ReplyDeleteSeems like an unusual amount of vitriol directed towards someone named "Pedro" - Count, I didn't know you were Hispanic! Hola!
ReplyDeleteOT Not sure where to post this, but rumour has it that Bobbi Kristina (Whitney's daughter) will be going into the UK Big Brother house on their celebrity version starting next Thursday the 23rd and she will be getting paid a tidy sum for it. I have no idea where her head is at right now, but I think this would be good for her. Big Brother gives them booze, but it is limited. Just enough to get them tipsy. And of course, no drugs which would be a plus for her.
ReplyDeletePronounced Count Herkula :)
ReplyDeleteOh man, reality tv as rehab just seems like an incredibly bad idea. Without Dr. Drew, I mean
ReplyDeleteAlso, for anyone that watches CBBUK, the only difference between that and the civilian version is no camera in the bathroom or shower. Other than that, they are at the complete mercy of production. They have to work for food and treats, and get punished for rule breaking. I think this could be good for BK since it appears she is a bit of a brat. And if Ivana bloody Trump can do it without one single complaint, then so can BK.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do for a living, Count? Your creative writing skills should not be wasted :)
ReplyDeleteHey, me too! I mean, no strippers or roulette but there was wine! Much too much wine
ReplyDeleteDitto TTM
ReplyDeleteDoc, there should be CDaN Meet up nights, where there could be much too much shared wine.
ReplyDeleteI'll pour you a virtual glass
ReplyDeleteMust be Dirtbag Pride Day on CDAN. How was the parade?
ReplyDeleteWhatEVER. Lots of comment String Rage leaking out today (where's the tolerance; geez?).
ReplyDeleteSG's probably been limited so far to guys like Bieber--who is clearly a sexual infantile for whom a girl is just a demanding substitute for his hand. She just needs time to hook up with some experienced men who enjoy making their lovers happy.
Exactly K Madelyn. That is why young wetties should bang an old creep from time to time, so they can experience the full extent of what pleasures of the flesh can be.
ReplyDeleteThis is so her age. That's why I find it so funny when older guys want to sleep with 20 year olds. They don't know what they're doing and aren't comfortable enough with themselves and their sexuality to enjoy sex. No fun. Go for an early 30s lady who is in her peak!
ReplyDeleteYeah, Count, what Doc asked. Bouncer? Security? Driver? Provide me with more fodder to fuel my fantasies, up the reality factor, really flesh you put as a character. Our virtual sexcapades will have a little more meat. P.S. the chick in the vid isn't me, but the hair cut and creamy white skin match. xoxo
ReplyDelete@Miss Mess: I will not divulge my occupation. If you want a job to put me in, I have admitted to being a furniture mover in the past.
ReplyDeleteCreamy white skin is tasty. Any chance you could find a video of a pale ass that resembles yours? I was too drunk when I got home from the strip club last night to take care of biddness, so I'm going to need some motivation after breakfast.
Count: go to sexarchives.com. Search "white girl bob haircut ass". You should get a hundred results, at least. BUT--none of them are me.
DeleteCorrection: videosexarchive.com. Although, I'm sure it's already in your bookmarks.
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ReplyDeleteSex with the lights on is best. It helps me to see who's actually fucking me.
ReplyDeleteWhat grease does SG watching? That movie is filled with sex. Danny trying to molest sandy at the drive in and rizzo doing any guy with a pulse.
ReplyDeleteThe new old navy greased lightning ads kill me. I swear it says the 'chicksll cream for greased lightning 'just like the original soundtrack.
Count,
ReplyDeleteI would read your blog. Maybe I should google your posts the next time I need a little creative motivation...
am i the only one that thinks she is a poser?
ReplyDeleteshe seems fake to me.......
her life is just one big PR performance