i believed that on christmas eve, judah macabee came down the chimney and brought me presents. my two older brothers told me this, and they thought it was hiLARious to see little jewish girl me waking up and running downstairs. and when i told my hebrew school teacher about this, i was sent to the principal's to have a little chat. Good. Times. ;-)
I believed that if I twirled in circles to the right, I had to twirl the exact same number of times to the left. If i didn't, the world would be altered....
I believed that if the guy was on top, it would be a boy and if the girl was on top, it would be a girl. I also thought Santa and the Easter Bunny were the same person.
I thought that the clitoris was the vagina and that both pee and babies came out of there... Until around 7th grade when my cousin used a stuffed animal to teach me how to use tampons. Mind blown.
That I had a twin that was given up for adoption or died when we were born or went missing and that my parents were waiting until I was 16 or 18 to tell me. I used to beg my mother to just admit the truth.
i thought darryl strawberry was a baseball carebear or something everytime we fake played baseball, we would choose players to pretend to be my cousin always picked "darryl strawberry" id be bobby banana
always thought "DOGGY STYLE" was when two dogs butts got stuck together ..so when my first boyfriend i was sexually active with suggested it i was like HELLLLL NAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Remember those Haul's cough drop commercials where they showed the "vapor" in front of the person after they took one? I thought that really happened. lol
@ MadamChef: I knew a girl in Grade 7 who literally had a ball of gum in her stomach because she was swallowing a couple pieces a day. Doctors told her to stop swallowing gum, and that it would take up to three months for the ball of gum to digest and pass.
I believed that two kids stole a spaceship and were stranded on the moon. I remember telling my Great Aunt Pearl this is what everyone was talking about in school and I didn't understand why it wasn't on the news (I was a news junkie even back then). I was in Grade 2 and we had watched the the moon landing that summer in 1969, which is what sparked this rumor. Aunt Pearl kept a straight face and asked lots of questions ;-)
That bad guys went away when the sun came up so if I got scared I would stay awake until sunrise then sleep like a baby. Oh and the thunder was God bowling thing too.
When I was 5 or 6, we went to a movie theater nearby and the curtains had weird stains on them. My sister told me that's where Lincoln was shot and the stains were his blood! I totally believed her!
When I was 15 I thought oral sex was when a girl and a guy sat across a room from each other in chairs, and talked about sex. It wasn't until my very experienced army brat friend laughed hysterically at me and explained to my astonishment what it actually was. Don't even ask what I thought "being on top" meant.
I thought teachers were perfect until I asked my 3rd grade teacher how to spell a word and she said she had to look it up in the dictionary. Mind blown. I was a little depressed after that.
I thought if you tore the tag off a mattress, you would be arrested or something. My parents sold mattresses. When I got married I would not let my husband remove the tag. Yeah we got divorced.
As a child, I was obsessed with bad things happening to me, like: spontaneous combustion, getting swallowed up by the earth when a giant chasm opened up where I was standing, that when I grew up I would have siamese twins, and being in an airplane crash over the ocean and getting eaten by sharks.
I thought clouds were called "clowns." Through this misunderstanding, I concluded that clowns lived behind the white fluffy things and the mean ones were responsible for storms.
Courtesy of the movie Splash, I decided that if I put enough salt in my bath and could hold my breath underwater for over a minute that I could turn into a mermaid.
I miss the days of thinking anything was possible :(
Like every little kid out there, I loved chocolate milk and it was way more expensive that white milk. My mom told me it was too expensive because it came from special chocolate milk cows that were all brown with no other colours and very rare. I believed that until grade 5 - seems they forgot to tell me they were fake when they told me about santa clause, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy - mofos - lol
I believed I could fly like Mary Poppins, found out the hard way that was wrong. My aunt was babysitting me and told me if I stayed in the bathtub until all the bubbles left, there would be a pink elephant on the bottom of the tub. She was wrong, but she did get to make out with her boyfriend a bit longer. And finally, my grandpa told me when he was a little girl, he lived with the Native Americans. I still believe him.
I thought the pound sign on the phone automatically dialed the phone number you were thinking of in your head. I swear to God it worked until someone told me it couldn't.
That kissing meant moving your head around in wavy motions Drivng meant turning a wheel round and round and side to side... Summer lasted forever People were kind and generally good... And that my parents were super heros and would be young forever...
That babies came out when you pooped, but wouldn't be fully developed until you were old old enough. I remember shedding a couple of silent tears for the poop babies I was flushing. I was 4.
I spent a lot of time worrying about how Santa was going to get into our house with no chimney. My mother was not very reassuring. Same for the Easter Bunny.
I realize when I was old enough that the closest thing to a chimney I had in my small apt was a heater against the wall, so Santa wasn't real.
I had a bit of OCD as a child and thought everything had to be in pairs because they were friends.. my shoes, pencils, forks, toothbrushes, clothing, anything. I'd HAVE to make sure everything had a friend. I was an only child dammit lol.
Pretty sure we did this already...... but I believed eating watermelon seeds would lead to a watermelon growing in your tummy.
ReplyDelete@Lotta. Wait, it won't?
Delete@Gayeld- it's safe!
DeletePlastic
ReplyDeleteWhen I used to see Madonna's Material Girl video, I thought she and Marilyn Monroe were the same person. And I thought leprechaun's existed!
ReplyDeleteI believed that if I was a good girl, nothing bad would ever happen to me.
ReplyDeletei believed that on christmas eve, judah macabee came down the chimney and brought me presents. my two older brothers told me this, and they thought it was hiLARious to see little jewish girl me waking up and running downstairs. and when i told my hebrew school teacher about this, i was sent to the principal's to have a little chat. Good. Times. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI believed that if I twirled in circles to the right, I had to twirl the exact same number of times to the left. If i didn't, the world would be altered....
ReplyDeleteClass rings were too expensive so I didn't order one.
ReplyDeleteThat I would marry Rick Springfield (and that the tire company Kelly Springfield was proof)
ReplyDeleteI believed that if the guy was on top, it would be a boy and if the girl was on top, it would be a girl. I also thought Santa and the Easter Bunny were the same person.
ReplyDeleteHanukkah Harry
ReplyDeleteI thought that the clitoris was the vagina and that both pee and babies came out of there... Until around 7th grade when my cousin used a stuffed animal to teach me how to use tampons. Mind blown.
ReplyDeleteThat people always get what they deserve in the end.
ReplyDeleteOriginal ideas.
ReplyDelete+1
DeleteEnty...I really believed in you. :/
ReplyDeleteThat it was only a matter of time before my superpowers manifested themselves, especially the energy shooting out of my fingers.
ReplyDeleteThat doors felt bad if you slammed them.
ReplyDeleteThat I had a twin that was given up for adoption or died when we were born or went missing and that my parents were waiting until I was 16 or 18 to tell me. I used to beg my mother to just admit the truth.
ReplyDeleteSanta Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny
ReplyDeleteWhen I was like 5, I thought I had to water my boobs in the shower in order for them to grow.
ReplyDeletehappy-ever-afters
ReplyDeleteI believed that if I stood in the backyard, and let the wind catch me just right, I could fly. Dreamt that a couple of times, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd I believed my stuffed animals would get cold at night if I didn't tuck them in.
I thought the number 7 didn't exist.
ReplyDeleteMy brother made me believe if I washed my hair after I washed my body in the bath, all the dirt would get in my brain and I would die.
I thought if I wagged my head back and forth before going to sleep, then the axe-murderer wouldn't be able to get me.
I also believed that once I was asleep, miniature skeletons lined the frame of my bed and carried me off to dreamland.
that babies came out of one's belly button
ReplyDelete@Cathy, No, that's actually true.
ReplyDelete:)
That if my mother would buy Imperial then I too would get a crown every time I bit my toast.
ReplyDeletei thought darryl strawberry was a baseball carebear or something
ReplyDeleteeverytime we fake played baseball, we would choose players to pretend to be
my cousin always picked "darryl strawberry" id be bobby banana
always thought "DOGGY STYLE" was when two dogs butts got stuck together ..so when my first boyfriend i was sexually active with suggested it i was like HELLLLL NAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ReplyDeleteWhen i was a kid i thought race was totally arbitrary. Like, a white man and a black woman might just pop out an asian kid.
ReplyDeleteThat my parents were my biologicals.
ReplyDeleteThat lasted until I was 26, so it's really not a childhood belief.
Gravity
ReplyDeleteWe'd be traveling in air locks by the time I was 30 and that love conquered hate. It was a blissful time.
ReplyDelete@karen - i must have had really low water pressure then :/
ReplyDeleteIf you stepped on a mushroom, it turned into a worm.
ReplyDelete@Cathy, me too. :(
ReplyDelete@Eris - That would be awesome! :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't think people drove cars, I thought they just had brains and knew how to go places. I was 3.
ReplyDeleteLotta, yes, the watermelons growing in our belly!
ReplyDeleteI never heard about the shower on the boobs theory, ha
If you swallow gum, it stays in your intestines for 7 years.
ReplyDeleteIf you die in your dream, you die in real life.
Periods are awesome 'cause you turn into a beautiful teenage girl who goes to the pool with her boyfriend! (Thanks, Sassy magazine tampax ads!)
If you cut a slug in half, the other half will turn into another slug and you'll have two slugs. (May also work on worms.)
Remember those Haul's cough drop commercials where they showed the "vapor" in front of the person after they took one? I thought that really happened. lol
ReplyDelete@ MadamChef: I knew a girl in Grade 7 who literally had a ball of gum in her stomach because she was swallowing a couple pieces a day. Doctors told her to stop swallowing gum, and that it would take up to three months for the ball of gum to digest and pass.
ReplyDeleteI believed that two kids stole a spaceship and were stranded on the moon. I remember telling my Great Aunt Pearl this is what everyone was talking about in school and I didn't understand why it wasn't on the news (I was a news junkie even back then). I was in Grade 2 and we had watched the the moon landing that summer in 1969, which is what sparked this rumor. Aunt Pearl kept a straight face and asked lots of questions ;-)
I believed in karma. I was really stupid.
ReplyDeleteI believed Tony Orlando and Dawn, along with Donny and Marie Osmond lived inside my TV.
ReplyDeleteI thought a tiny little band played the music coming from the car radio.
DeleteI believed that Enty was a man
ReplyDeleteYou had to leave a little room for your guardian angel to sit next to you.
ReplyDeleteNuns were bald and had no boobs.
Thunder is Jesus bowling with the angels.
the garbage truck was a giant metal robot.
ReplyDeleteI thought that tubs if parkay would actually talk to you. I BEGGED my mom to but some. She did. It didn't. Dream crushed.
ReplyDelete*of
ReplyDeleteI thought Elizabeth Taylor was the Queen of England, and Fergie was her daughter.
ReplyDeleteI thought if tried hard enough that I could fly. I spent HRS and YRS trying but it never worked.
ReplyDeleteI thought purpose of woman's cleavage was to hide m&m's!
ReplyDeleteAnd that the rind of grapefruit was marshmallow, which HAD to be only reason grownups ate that awful fruit, to get to that marshmellow.
ReplyDeleteThat bad guys went away when the sun came up so if I got scared I would stay awake until sunrise then sleep like a baby. Oh and the thunder was God bowling thing too.
ReplyDeleteThat nuns worked at church's chicken.
ReplyDeleteThat if I were a good person, other people would be good to me.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 5 or 6, we went to a movie theater nearby and the curtains had weird stains on them. My sister told me that's where Lincoln was shot and the stains were his blood! I totally believed her!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 15 I thought oral sex was when a girl and a guy sat across a room from each other in chairs, and talked about sex. It wasn't until my very experienced army brat friend laughed hysterically at me and explained to my astonishment what it actually was. Don't even ask what I thought "being on top" meant.
ReplyDeleteI thought being an adult would be awesome...
ReplyDeleteI thought teachers were perfect until I asked my 3rd grade teacher how to spell a word and she said she had to look it up in the dictionary. Mind blown. I was a little depressed after that.
ReplyDeleteI thought if you tore the tag off a mattress, you would be arrested or something. My parents sold mattresses. When I got married I would not let my husband remove the tag. Yeah we got divorced.
ReplyDeleteAs a child, I was obsessed with bad things happening to me, like: spontaneous combustion, getting swallowed up by the earth when a giant chasm opened up where I was standing, that when I grew up I would have siamese twins, and being in an airplane crash over the ocean and getting eaten by sharks.
ReplyDeleteI thought clouds were called "clowns." Through this misunderstanding, I concluded that clowns lived behind the white fluffy things and the mean ones were responsible for storms.
ReplyDeleteCourtesy of the movie Splash, I decided that if I put enough salt in my bath and could hold my breath underwater for over a minute that I could turn into a mermaid.
I miss the days of thinking anything was possible :(
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteStepping on a crack would break mama's back. I still don't like to step on them. Habits.
ReplyDeleteI believed broccoli was baby trees.
Like every little kid out there, I loved chocolate milk and it was way more expensive that white milk. My mom told me it was too expensive because it came from special chocolate milk cows that were all brown with no other colours and very rare. I believed that until grade 5 - seems they forgot to tell me they were fake when they told me about santa clause, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy - mofos - lol
ReplyDeleteI believed I could fly like Mary Poppins, found out the hard way that was wrong. My aunt was babysitting me and told me if I stayed in the bathtub until all the bubbles left, there would be a pink elephant on the bottom of the tub. She was wrong, but she did get to make out with her boyfriend a bit longer. And finally, my grandpa told me when he was a little girl, he lived with the Native Americans. I still believe him.
ReplyDeleteI thought the pound sign on the phone automatically dialed the phone number you were thinking of in your head. I swear to God it worked until someone told me it couldn't.
ReplyDeleteThat it was my fault.
ReplyDeleteI thought everyone was good, and if I was a good girl, only good things would happen to me.
ReplyDeleteGuess we all know, that's terribly wrong.
That kissing meant moving your head around in wavy motions
ReplyDeleteDrivng meant turning a wheel round and round and side to side...
Summer lasted forever
People were kind and generally good...
And that my parents were super heros and would be young forever...
That babies came out when you pooped, but wouldn't be fully developed until you were old old enough. I remember shedding a couple of silent tears for the poop babies I was flushing. I was 4.
ReplyDeleteLove
ReplyDeleteLove
ReplyDeleteI spent a lot of time worrying about how Santa was going to get into our house with no chimney. My mother was not very reassuring. Same for the Easter Bunny.
ReplyDeleteI realize when I was old enough that the closest thing to a chimney I had in my small apt was a heater against the wall, so Santa wasn't real.
ReplyDeleteI had a bit of OCD as a child and thought everything had to be in pairs because they were friends.. my shoes, pencils, forks, toothbrushes, clothing, anything. I'd HAVE to make sure everything had a friend. I was an only child dammit lol.