Selena Gomez Takes Justin Bieber Back
Selena: You have to stop cheating on me.
Justin: Of course babe. Hang on one second. Have a call from Twist. He is supposed to be bringing over some honeys. I mean, some money.
Selena: You told me you would stop acting like a jerk.
Justin: Of course babe. Hang on, the upstairs maid is really ticking me off. She forgot to fold my underwear right again. You know, I can't function unless my tighty whiteys are folded vertically, like the Bible.
Selena: I know. That was very inconsiderate of her.
Justin: Right? Well, when she opens her purse she is going to find a little surprise that will teach her to fold the right way and know that whole mop bucket thing is just the beginning of the damage I can do.
Selena: So, are we going out tonight?
Justin: Nope, but you can come over after the strippers leave. Drop in about midnight and I should be finished with you by one or so.
Selena: That sounds great. God I love you.
Justin: Don't use God's name in vain b**ch. Later. Have to check on my pants. Extra roomy for my Canadian bacon.
Selena: Uh huh. Bye. Text me every five seconds.
Lol at the don't use God's name in vain bitch. Haha
ReplyDeleteGood God WHY ?
ReplyDeleteGomez/Bieber fan fiction - don't know if the world's ready for this.
ReplyDeleteAhhh young, true. As my mom always says, "There's a K-Fed out there for everyone. It just depends in whether or not you can avoid him."
ReplyDeleteHahahhaha
DeleteReally, fanfiction for these twits? Psst: You're not Michael K.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me this is a joke article. She would NOT take that freak of nature back. She's way too beautiful and classy for him.
ReplyDeletewasn't she working him the whole time in all of this? Like a fame hooker works a fame john for.. fame? yes the don't use the Lord's name in vain bitch was pretty good.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who feels weird reading gossip about children and their childish, herpes filled exploitative jr prom gossip?
ReplyDeleteI mean I love a good yarn, but this obsession with children's (sexual) lives is kind of creeping me out. I don't care or want to know about this two bit piece of canadian bacon shithead even if he was of age. Certainly not every day with this 90210/Saved By the Bell crap.
It's seems so pedophilic to be caring what Jughead and Veronica are doing in their social lives.
//End rant, my apologies, just wanted to say that for a while.
They are only celebrities because we make them so with our interest.
@Gypsy--Bieber and Gomez aren't children. They're adults both over the age of 18.
Delete.
Oh, they're 12 years old alright, just with tons of money and driver's licenses. (Herpes is the least of these kids' problems)
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ReplyDeleteWhat is with the different entries lately? I used love this site but now it seems every time I pop in for my gossip fix and cool commenters it's someone else writing every time. At least admit it and sign your posts enty(s)
DeleteP.s: Dewie the bear was right you aren't michel K. We like you the way you were. Enty please come back!
P.p.s: still you amazing commenters. And you Amanda's wig! (Easily the best 'troll' account yet
I'm starting to think that this breakup/makeup thing is pure contrived PR.
ReplyDelete@Ella & Gypse, Enty has designated piñatas he regularly trots out to hate on and take up space. Justin currently tops the list. Since I don't believe the original Enty is responsible for this site anymore, I don't mind telling you that I agree whoever writes many of these has a sick twist.
ReplyDeleteAnd everyone tried to make a big deal out of Taylor Swift licking her tongue out at them at that awards show a few weeks ago. When actually, Tay-Tay was expressing nearly everyone's opinion on the issue.
ReplyDeleteNothing against the babies, but Justin needs to live on an island for a few months to recharge and Selena just needs to find another BF or a new hobby.
@Dewie, that's ALL I was thinking while skimming over this crap!
ReplyDeleteI am all for hating on that little pisher Biebs, but at least be funny doing it :)
ReplyDelete(The Angelina hate, though, is beyond me. You don't have to worship her to not take potshots at her weight or health or brood or ex-boyfriends at every opportunity.)
@phoenix Thanks, but man if it is just about whipping up hate, that is even worse than just being creepy. I don't guess I like this new site much. Some of the posts seem good, but these and the shotgun comments conjuring suicide murders; well, I gotta say, I am not wanting to take a chance as much these days by clicking. I have enjoyed everyone here! Even the trolls sometimes. But hate evoking posts are not what I look for in silly gossip.
ReplyDeleteI hope she doesn't keep going back to him because he hooked her on the drugs he takes
ReplyDeleteStupid girl.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the JB thing is the only thing she has going to distinguish herself from all the other vanilla, young 20's, former child star, singers/actresses.
Stupid stupid girl.
I always believed they were PR but the lines got blurred. So her contract was over she tried it on her own and she still not quite getting the fame they wanted her to have so they had her make nice with bieber again.
ReplyDelete@Jolene- I only judge people by their actions and behavior. In my opinion, they are kids. And remembering my youth, I would pray adults all over the world weren't sitting around talking about me as I grew into who I was to become. And as an adult, I don't really care if Johnny and Susie are getting back together for the Spring Formal or for STD tests.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you don't agree. That's cool. I merely was stating my opinion. But considering the sexual nature of some of these posts, it just feels weird to me to be talking about them. I work in an ISD with kids that are practically the same age, it just weirds me out to see this kind of information on an adult website. It's not illegal, but that doesn't mean I have to find it acceptable. Again, only my opinion. Obviously people want it or it would make this site so much money.
To each his own! Live and let live. Just adding my two cents. Etc, etc... ;)
Dewie, I think the Angelina hate stems from her phoniness. She travels the world helping people, but it's done for show.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that bit of truth, Harry.
DeleteThere are easier ways to be phony than travelling the world and bringing attention to the plight of the less fortunate. I'm not saying Angelina is perfect, but she doesn't have to do what she does to the extent that she does it if it mere phoniness that drives her.
ReplyDeleteWould you call Audrey Hepburn a phony? She was similarly dedicated, right up to her death.
@Harry, she's put enough money where her mouth is that it's reasonable to give her the benefit.
ReplyDelete@Dewie, agreed.. and Princess Di too. You can't get inside these people's heads to make that kind of judgement, and I'll bet some of the biggest critics hardly ever do a thing remotely charitable themselves because their speech certainly doesn't reflect it.
ReplyDeleteFirst time that Gomez bim gets hit with some real cock, lil douche is going to be an after thought and she gonna hate herself for wasting her prime on him.
ReplyDeleteAs momma say, "Women are stupid until they are 40."
@count, according to Demi Lovato, she's already had many. For some reason she's the Teflon virgin....none of the sticks stick to her. ;)
Delete@count nice to see you back in your proper form...
Deleteand i can personally vouch for women being stupid until 40 having just turned 29. I wish i could argue.but my current status just seals the deal....waiting for the clarity of middle age...
she can't really be this dumb?
ReplyDeleteand Audrey Hepburn was the real deal
ReplyDelete@Prada: I thought those rumors were that she was the Disney BJ Queen?
ReplyDeleteJustin's mother was on The View and Watch What Happens Live this week and it was sooo freaking awkward.
ReplyDeleteThey try to ask her about him and she was obviously trying to tread a fine line between being honest and not saying anything negative about his antics.
I wish Selena's mom would take her aside and have a talk with her.
Hey guys, cut Enty some slack. He only writes about these 2 because he is genuinely worried about Selena. Without revealing too much, I will say that the transcript above is real. I've heard it. Enty did leave some stuff out to protect the innocent, but we can't fault him for that.
ReplyDeleteAnn Nah, you sound drunk and/or high. I don't fault you for it though! It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Lol at Gypsy! I just spit out my coffee!
ReplyDeleteOh God, can you imagine what a conversation between Justin and Patty would be like:
ReplyDeletePatty: "Honey buns, time for din-din. Come and get it."
Justin: "Gee, mom what are we having tonight? Kraft dinner with hot dogs cut up?"
Patty: "Of course."
Justin: "What else?"
Patty: "Oh, you know."
Justin: Places finger on chin and thinks deeply for a few seconds. - "Nuggets!"
Patty: "You know it. Aren't you a smart boy?"
Justin: "Yeah, I'm a smart boy. Know how old I am?" - Holds up hands with ten fingers spread out - "I'm this how many years old - plus nine."
Patty: "Boy, that home schooling has really paid off."
Justin: "Sure has."
Patty: "Aren't you forgetting something, hon?"
Justin: Stares blankly.
Patty: "It's that time of the week. Allowance time."
Justin: "Oh, right," - Reaches into back pocket for checkbook - "How much do you need this week?"
Patty: "Oh, the usual. Mom needs money for nice clothes and first class air travel and a new car, then if there's anything left, it goes to Jesus."
Justin: "And nuggets!"
Patty: Sighs - "Yes dear. And nuggets."
I try, BarFly.
ReplyDeleteJBE: Prolly not far off.
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ReplyDelete40 is perfect for women. But terrible for men. Men in their 40s are either old and tired or immature horndogs who confuse sex with marriage.
ReplyDeleteHang in there @bar fly!
It gets better.
@gypsy: LOL!
ReplyDelete@jason blue eyes! That's spot on! Except you forgot his constipated face! Ugh. I just can't with this twerp. As someone who supposedly falls in to his demographic that face is so off putting! I'm not sure if he is taking a shit or just has no brain cells left!
ReplyDeleteIf she takes back that little piss bucket, she gets what she deserves.
ReplyDeleteI like how everyone thinks Selly G and Swifty are these goody two shoes. Excellent management peeps, you guys! Oy vey. You guys need some younger celeb gossip insider stuff, like I hear. What goes on for adult H'wood get born in the tweener set, and SG will be 21 next week. She definitely isn't a wide eyed virgin. Just ask Nick Jonas. 😊
ReplyDeleteSelena is the one celeb I would like to experience with a full bush. I bet she could put Demi Moore to shame.
ReplyDeleteWait a minute. Selena's birthday is next week and everyone isn't saying she is back with the LadyBoy to get fat present$$ for 2 weeks of sex, then she gonna dump him again?? HOW WAS THIS DETAIL MISSED UNTIL NOW!!
Aint that how betches operate? Wasn't it Dice Clay that said chick's start dating a guy around Dec 1 to get Xmas/New Years/V-Day, then dump him before the credit card bills come in and tax season hits???? She's workin her trick pretty well.