Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Please Don't Tell Beyonce

I think if you see Beyonce or pass her in the streets, you need to keep quiet about this story. Apparently when Kate Middleton's baby enters the world it will do so as a relative of Blue Ivy. I know, I know. Beyonce with a child of royal blood. Well, a trace of it anyway. Blue Ivy will be 23rd cousins twice removed to the baby of Kate Middleton. Think that is distant? Yeah, well Kim Kardashian would give her implants for that kind of relationship. She would be selling royal baby t-shirts and taking on a British accent before you could say toad in the hole. The closest celebrity relations appear to be the offspring of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner who will be 11th cousins of the royal baby. That might be good enough to get you invited to a family reunion.


38 comments:

  1. The words of this post make me say whatever, don't care. The picture of that adorable baby girl make me smile, though. Cute little pumpkin!

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  2. Thanks for the info Enties!

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  3. geez people care enough to go that far back...crazy

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  4. Damn, @Sugar and I just came back from yachting with her on the 4th. If only I knew this then.

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  5. I DO find myself clicking the DM more often these days, expecting them to be on top of it, the SECOND Kate goes into hospital.
    When Andy won Wimbledon.....I was relieved the day ended without Kate going into labor. Andy could keep the headlines all to himself for a bit.

    (The DM is the only 'British' site I have bookmarked, other than BBC....I think the DM would know sooner, b/c they're sketchier? Anyone know a better British site?)

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  6. (I am NUTS for babies, y'all, K?)

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  7. @libby, another thing you can do.. just type as far as "duch" in Google and it will take over for you and do the rest causing all the most recent articles about her to appear. I made a Google desktop shortcut for it that I can easily click. I've read differing due date accounts - some say the 11th (Thurs), and some the 13th (Saturday).

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  8. Oh.. "duch" is the beginning of duchess of cambridge.

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  9. I am NUTS for PITS, K?

    Off to help MY bf spay our cat!

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  10. phoenix--I'm glad you understand. Thanks for the tip.
    For me---Diana married when I was 9. I can't help being excited for the grandchild she won't get to meet.

    (I am known for my secret womb-watches on lesser celebs too, though.)

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  11. We call it the daily fail over here. It's full of shit though I haven't read the celeb parts

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  13. Get Help, mobile loser. For serious.

    (Not directed at you, Discobitch.)

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  14. 23rd cousins twice removed means they're not related.

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    1. No it doesn't. It just means two generations apart.

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  15. Armpit troll is that a chickens ass in your pic??

    Anyhoo the daily fail, some of the shit people comment, it's like they belong in Florida ;) I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't silently sponsor the BNP (racist political party)

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  16. what.... 23rd cousins, really? you mean like, back near adam and eve?

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  17. News Flash: ANY two people who each have an ancestor from Great Britain are inevitably going to be 24th cousins or closer. Basic arithmetic. There is nothing special or newsworthy about ivyblue

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  18. @Discobitch, the Daily Fail commenters adore Kim Kardashian. It's bizarre.

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  19. In the time of Roman Emperors, many people made their family trees making them relatives of Heracles, Venus and other gods and heroes in order to flatter the powerful.
    It was the same BS as this news, and done for the same purposes.

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  20. Yup Kilt Mann. I'm American by birth but have some British ancestry from both sides of my family, so even I could be a closer relative than anyone mentioned here, lol.

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  21. Aw, that baby is so cute.

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  22. Well miss Libby - I have a 7 week old peanut living in my belly ;)

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  23. suri cruise is going to lose her shit over this revelation

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  24. Oh, Amy---Congratulations! I'm sending good thoughts from South of you!
    Keep us posted, k?

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  25. Thanks! Trust me this was very very not expected and I wasn't supposed to conceive naturally with my history of endometriosis and PCoS. I was in fertility meds a few years ago and never got pregnant. 2 nights of hormonal sex with my roommate and BFF has both of our lives flipped upside down

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  26. @Freshy, I was thinking the exact same thing. Can't wait to check the Burn Book when I get home (it's blocked at work).

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  27. Big deal! The way the Brits got around, 99 perecent of the world has British blood!

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  28. 23rd cousins twice removed is pretty far back...probably to the 1000's or a bit earlier.

    And the 'twice removed' part does mean blood related. They just aren't on the same level on a family tree. Like when your cousin has a child, you are now once removed from that child.

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  29. I'm sorry, are we saying the eggs were Beyonce's?

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  30. I know I've seen various stats on just how closely most people with ancestors from the same part of the world are; IIRC a large percentage of Europeans and their descendants can trace their ancestry back to Charlemagne, and assuming that Jay and/or Bey probably have at least some European ancestry, this isn't at all surprising.

    FWIW, though, my brother got busy checking out the family genealogy a few years back, and one evening my mom called me up and said, with a barely suppressed chuckle in her voice, "Do you remember when you were a little girl, and you always wanted to be a princess?" Um, yeah...and just where are you going with this? Turns out we're descended from royalty at least 2 different ways that we know of; the 1st one branches off in the 12th century with Henry I of England's oldest son Robert of Gloucester (who would have made an excellent king himself, but instead supported his legitimate half-sister Matilda's claim; he was the first of Henry's 15-25 bastards), and the 2nd in the late 15th century through Edward III's granddaughter Anne Plantagenet, through Edward's youngest son Thomas of Woodstock.

    (The best part was realizing "Holy shit, I'm descended from Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II?!? COOOOOOL!!!" Always did think The Lion in Winter seemed like a rather familiar family fight somehow, and guess what? It really was... ;-) )

    Still not expecting an invitation to the christening of Kate and Will's baby, though, so I think Beyonce is SOL on that count... ;-)

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