Next week could be the end of the end when it comes to sex tapes. I say that, but you know there will be other sex tapes that burn your eyes. Mine finally regained sight a few months ago after watching that Verne Troyer sex tape from years ago. Some thins are better left unseen and a Courtney Stodden sex tape is at the top of that list. This is not going to be your typical sex tape. This is actually supposed to be "instructional" in nature where Courtney and her husband walk you through their sex life under the supervision of sex therapists. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe they gave Doug a wonder drug which allowed him to do it. He just does not seem like the kind of guy who is all that interested in the companionship of Courtney. I don't think most guys are either, but for different reasons.
Druggy men in their 50s sometimes have surprising interest in off-brand sex.
ReplyDeleteThey've become the newest Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. I hope they fade away just like that couple did.
ReplyDeleteInstructional sex lessons from Courtney and Doug?
ReplyDeleteI think this speaks for everyone.
Yes Dewie it certainly speaks for me, ugh!
DeleteLoving the streaking octopi!
DeleteLoving the streaking octopi!
Deletecreepy creepy creeps.
ReplyDeleteI hope she takes it rough. Like crying during anal. I also hope it was filmed prior to the bolt ons.
ReplyDeleteI'd be more grossed out watching her husband doing anything sexual than seeing her.
ReplyDeleteHe's definately a creepy little worm, and how is she only,what nineteen? Whatever...
ReplyDeleteThat is so gross.
ReplyDeleteIs he a creep usung a poor young girl for his depraved desires or is he a fool being manipulated and used by young snatch?
ReplyDeleteShe wants to be the next Nina Hartley filming "the ultimate guide for sex by Stodden", but the professional got real actors and actresses and not some fifty something years old guy.
ReplyDeleteSurgery made her have good boobs though, so the video won't be so awful if we focus on her.
Hes disgusting and whatever show biz career he had is done. If her family willingly handed her over to him to help her career take off he fucked them over too because shes done at 18 and she never even started one.
ReplyDeleteI think she is mentally challenged so it would be like watching a rape.
ReplyDeleteI have not even the slightest desire to see this tape....i'll just wait for highlights from all of you, lol
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ReplyDeleteAhhhhhhhahahahahaha! That was PERFECT, VIP!
ReplyDeleteEventhough Courtney looks scary, she looks like the average porn star, so I wouldn't be that disgusted when seeing a tape like that.
ReplyDeleteOnly.. Doug with an erection and his silly creepy smile at the same time? Oh sweet Jesus help me, that will haunt me forever.
I could never have sex with a mutant.
ReplyDelete@Lotta....
DeleteWhich one qualifies as the mutant in this scenario?
They are both busted, but for completely different reasons.
Ick
Since Doug was a mutant on The X-Files, he's probably the one Lotta was referring to.
Deletedid you see how his eye lit up at the site of the dildo they were unwrapping? and her side eye at him, like put it down, Doug.
ReplyDeleteGod, I hope I don't run into that video on an empty stomach. Stodden's butt-ugly.
ReplyDeleteAnd the exploitation of this kid continues. I know, I know, she's legal now and all that but she has been pimped out and sexualised long before she was of age.
ReplyDeleteAs much as they ick me out I can't help but feel bad for her. Her whole self worth and identity is wrapped up in dirty old men wanting to fuck and degrade her.
Bit sad really.
See, I wanna like you, Count. Lots of times you are hilarious and insightful but then there you are wishing extremely painful anal on an 18 year old. Who wants crying during sex?? Or for that matter, choking. I just don't get it
ReplyDelete"I'd be more creeped out watching him do anything sexual"
ReplyDeleteI'd be creeped out watching him do anything at all.. watching him eating a bowl of fruity pebbles would just seem like a warm up to a rape. He looks like skeletor's love child.
"Theyve become the newest heidi and spencer"
Hey, no need to be mean...
@Nathaniel M....
Deleteyour fruity pebbles description fits perfectly, lol
TalksTooMuch - The Count is like Baskin Robbins. There are plenty of flavors and you don't have to like them all; just indulge in the ones you do.
ReplyDelete^This
Delete@TTMuch: eh, I'm no fan of choking, cause ima klutz.
ReplyDeletePainful anal, this ain't lil Suzy from nextdoor. Shes a friggin skeezer who latched on to an G list degenerate. I'm sure everytime his wrinkles balls are on her face she is thinking about 40 yeats of Shawshank residuals after he croaks. That pays better than trying to collect child support from the meth cook in the trailer next door.
In summation, I slot her in as an opportunistic pig. Why would I want her gravy train to have smooth tracks.
Thank you for voicing a contrary opinion. I'm notgetting enough of that lately .
It was The Green Mile. Not Shawshank. My only problem with your post...
DeleteThis is pathetic. They are trying so hard to be famous.
ReplyDelete@Disco: +37
ReplyDeleteHE WAS IN GREEN MILE NOT SHAWSHANK
ReplyDelete(contrary enough for you?)
Hey, I just noticed he was also in Time to Kill and Con Air.
Add Shauna Sand for a threesome and we'd have cinematic gold.
ReplyDeletehis vinegar stroke is going to be SO FUCKIN CREEPY...*shivers*
ReplyDeletehis vinegar stroke is going to be SO FUCKIN CREEPY...*shivers*
ReplyDelete@Count, so its like Gladiator? This is not gonna be quick, its not going to be nice kinda thing? It read like misogyny, that's why I was asking.
ReplyDelete@disco - thanks for the advice, but I was asking the Count a question. From what I can tell, he's pretty good at speaking for himself
ReplyDeleteGod, they must of gone bargain shopping for her boob job...knew this was coming...playboy didn't want her, then came the giant fake boobs after all the denail that hers are RIIL...now comes porn...washed up druggie before she's 30...she's going to make Anna Nichole look good
ReplyDelete@Bacon Ranch: wasn't he the dude on the bleachers next to Morgan Freeman, who bet on Andy to cry first?
ReplyDeleteMy fave role, that I haven't seen in a while was on Tales From the Crypt. He was the dirst person I ever hears utter the phrase,"traet whores like queens and queens like whores".which has proven pretty true if the reaction to me by all the queens around here is to be believed :)
@TTMuch: Yeah, tears during sex is a case by case thing, not all women are deserving. Some even deserve sweet sweet luvin.
I think she's to be pitied.
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ReplyDelete@Count: Imo her parents are the ones after the money and fame and taught this girl how to behave like a fool for ratings. She got married at 16 and her parents thought it was a wonderful idea. If you see pics of her from when she was like 14 she looks so different. There are also recent pics of her with her dad, which are all kinds of scary.
ReplyDeleteThink the kid is completely groomed/brainwashed, starting at a young age. I think she doesn't even realize her behavior is creepy as hell most of the time (remember the creepy duo-interview, with her licking her lips and feeling up Doug? EEEK!)
Count: If he was, he didn't list it on his IMDB (and you just know he's the one listing that sh*t)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006535/?ref_=sr_1
Truth be told, Tom Hanks is cooler than Tim Robbins bankwise, so he scored with that one.
I just think it's funny to see that he was in Guiding Light,Party of Five and Murder She wrote.
I'll always think of him as Tooms (X-Files)
Creepy dude.
I always think of his SVU episode. Creepy little bastard.
ReplyDelete@ Talks too much completely agree with your comments re Count Jerkula. He seems very cruel and derogative too women and incapable of not objectifying women as objects for men to abuse. He needs a shrink!
ReplyDelete@ the Count - Seriously the only women that would allow you to behave that way are damaged. This is not how a real man would react. & strong intelligent women would not give you the time of day.
Who are you Dan Schneider?
Damn Bacon, youse's right. I check imdb and I confused this dude w/ william sadler. I go no clu who this dude is, which makes me more annoyed.
ReplyDeleteChuck him and his skank in a septic tank and close the lid.
@cymru, um that's not what I said. I think there might be some of that in his comments, but it sounds like something you guys need to work out amongst yourselves. Dang, I hate it when Mom and Dad don't get along!
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ReplyDeleteI might watch her in a sextape, but the husband would be tough to ignore.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure both of them are getting what they want out of the relationship, and they're both of age, so they can do what they want. The only thing I have against her is her boob job, because it is painful seeing pictures of her. To be honest, if we have to see pics of people who are famous for no good reason, I'd rather see them than any of the Kardashians or the porn/teen moms.
ReplyDeleteJeez, WTF did I just write?
ReplyDeleteFirst, I came here for the blinds, stayed for the comments. Count has made me hate this place. Granted, I know I'm commenting about this on a sex related post, and we have been previously told by the Count if we don't want to read about his depravity than we should avoid posts like these, but we all know that he has something "hilariously wrong" to say on just about every post. And has somehow gotten other commenters to add to his sexual depravity at times. It's quite unfortunate the turn this site has taken. There I said it.
ReplyDeleteHe will always be Tooms regurgitating to build his lair.
ReplyDeleteThe site's at a whole new level now--about crotch level.
ReplyDeleteI bet her mum features in it. She's probably the fluffer
ReplyDelete@cymru: You are a mark.
ReplyDeleteI know I won't ever watch this. In my opinion I think doug is more into guys than Courtney just by seeing pictures of them together and their body language. He is just with her to be semi famous for marrying a underage girl who he has now turned into a sex object.
ReplyDeleteNow I know why Tooms skeeved me out more than any other X-Files MOTW - the actor himself is in fact a mutant who preys on people to keep his "career" alive.
ReplyDeleteHe can probably squeeze through air ducts irl, and needs to eat 5 human livers every 30 years too.