An Actual Birthday Party Invitation
A reader got invited to this party.
§ Please RSVP no later than the 22nd July as per invite (yes, I know most of you have rsvped twice- but the third times a charm)
§ If you want to bring your partner/ better half/blind date- please let me know their name (there is a reason for this). If you chose to leave them at home to watch Friday night footy or Better homes + gardens- that’s probably for the best)
§ It’s a Spanish Restaurant- if you have any allergies/ dietary requirements please advise me asap- if your just on a diet then don’t come.
§ Roughly $60-$70 a head for a lot of good food- drinks can be purchased separately if there are any non-drinkers or tight arses.
§ As a little gesture from the restaurant they have managed to swing a little BYO deal- you can bring a bottle of wine/ champagne only (no beer) between 2 people (if you choose to)for $10 corkage. This is for those who have exceptional taste in the size of wine…like Magnums…magnums are great…I think you get the hint.
§ The restaurant is inside / outside- so save skimpy outfits for summer- I don’t want to be sued for frostbite.
§ Do wear something Pink- this will help XXXX pick out his friends from the other patrons
§ We will endeavour to carry on afterwards…that’s if we don’t give XXXX too much of a surprise and end up in emergency
§ So when I say 7pm sharp- please do so…as I will be walking in with him once your all in the restaurant… no running off to do your lippy or ciggie breaks… if you’re going to be late- then just rock up afterwards- if you see us walking in- hide.
§ I will provide some entertainment for you all whilst your waiting…so don’t be scared that you’re going to have to make small talk to the person next to you.
§ An idea for a group birthday pressie if your stuck- 7 budgies/ dickies with the days of the week on them. This will help him immensely when it comes to washing them.. like if he is still wearing Sunday’s and its Friday…
§ Just in case you didn’t know- XXXX’ actual birthday is on the 28th July.
§ Bring cash- saves splitting the bill 35 ways… ATM just up the road for those who don’t read this.
§ Remember this is a surprise party- so far he has no clue and I would like to keep it this way!
§ Last but definitely not least- thanks again for allowing me to cyber stalk you all- will be a pleasure meeting those I haven’t met yet.
Is it Marnie's birthday already?
ReplyDeleteBetty White!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this one:
ReplyDelete§ The restaurant is inside / outside- so save skimpy outfits for summer- I don’t want to be sued for frostbite.
It is Summer and very hot right now. An invitation with that many "suggestions" would piss me off.
This is either in Australia or New Zealand. Winter for them is June through August.
DeleteEL has a huge amount of Aussie friends for some reason.
she's going overboard, but it also sounds like she's carefully planning it down to the last detail, plus they're British so they're more regimented and organized. A little odd and OCD but maybe this person knows what they're doing. I always look at both sides of everything.
ReplyDeleteI wouldnt go to this party, my life has enough restrictions, rules and demands as it is.
ReplyDeleteI have dealt with people like this and I can't stand them. I wish people would stop indulging these control freaks that also seem to really enjoy hosting parties.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I don't want to be told what to wear, what I have to pay, and what I have to give as a gift.
I also don't want to donate to your vacation fund. If you can't afford to travel somewhere extravagant, stay the hell home like the rest of us!
@rose, i was just about to say, this is for somewhere in the southern hemisphere. anyone throwing a birthday in australia??
ReplyDeleteWell, Happy Birthday to whoever - I can only hope you justifiably fear whoever put this together for you.
ReplyDeleteBecause buddy, if you cross them, you're obviously in for a world of carefully micromanaged pain.
Bwahaha you made me actually LOL
Delete@megerz, i actually really appreciate details like that. as a control freak myself, i like knowing what to expect, as some parties will vary from backyard barbeque to semi-formal champagne and bites.
ReplyDeleteI understand @ T.E. Cuz, but your last sentence explains it all very simply, and it only took you one sentence, not an entire list with bullet points. Backyard barbecue, etc. I can figure out the rest for myself. And if someone is an idiot and wears flip flops to a fancy restaurant it shouldn't make the hostess' head explode...although I kinda wish it would.
DeleteIt's cold in southern Australia right now.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, sounds like someone was hoping to get on the front pages of Gawker.com - FAIL
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteShe's using five times as many words as she needs, but I'd say that the only issues are saying that leaving SOs at home is "for the best" and asking for the same RSVP three times, with the main problem being that she's treating them like children. Almost all of this is useful or semi-useful information. Before I agree to go to a party, I want to know: When? Where? How much? Dress code? Do I need cash? etc.
ReplyDeleteList of celebrities whose birthday is on July 28th.
ReplyDeleteGeez, if you guys don't want to come to my party THEN I DON'T WANT YOU THERE!!!
ReplyDelete:)
In all seriousness, I totally agree with Karen.
Judging by Jason List. Aint nobody there important. I guess Mike Bloomberg or Alexis Arquette?
ReplyDelete"Please come to my party that I planned in a style which I cannot afford and therefore I am passing the cost off onto my guests."
ReplyDeleteSorry, I have other plans for that night. Like hanging out with friends who reciprocate my invitations with invitations of their own, instead of charging an admission fee to their parties.
I do agree however that the dress code is useful information. I wish more hosts would be honest about that expectation instead of leaving people guessing what to wear.
You ARE invited to a party, but bring at least $60 to create the party since I can't afford to create what so-and-so ought to have.
ReplyDeleteHATE this. It's one thing for one of my friends to say "we want to include a lot of people so we are going to meet for dinner at a (reasonably priced) restaurant. Join us if you can." [And, by the way, there's probably a cheaper post-dinner gathering that it's acceptable to join later on/instead, too!) It's another altogether to act like you are a party host but are actually an extortionist.
Do wear something Pink- this will help XXXX pick out his friends from the other patrons
ReplyDeleteSounds tres gay.
Why are people treating this like a blind item? This is just something a reader submitted because it was so outrageous, like the dating profiles enty sometimes posts.
ReplyDeleteI'll pass
ReplyDeleteMeh. It's not like this is a wedding where guests are asked to pay for their food which is terribly rude. If I went to a party like this, I wouldn't be giving a gift though I'd either help pay for the birthday boy's meal or buy him a drink.
ReplyDeleteI've had bar crawl birthday parties before--no one expected their food/drinks to be provided and I didn't expect any presents (though I've received a few).
@cathy yeah I know I didn't think it was anyone famous ...
ReplyDeleteShe lost me when she was unable to discern your from you're.
ReplyDeleteThe line:The restaurant is inside / outside- so save skimpy outfits for summer- I don’t want to be sued for frostbite.
Indicates this happened during winter so save the skimpy outfits for summer since it will be inside/outside.
I can understand throwing a group birthday party for your friend and everyone contributing. No problems there but I sho as HAIL ain't wearing pink. I look like shit in it. If he can't recognize me as his friend I shouldn't have received this invitation.
It isnt a party or invite if GUESTS ARE PAYING!!!!!!! Dont go to these debacles, hate them.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you that didn't get my Marnie joke, here it is:
ReplyDeletehttp://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/11/26/awkward-family-story-the-thanksgiving-letter/
Sorry I can't make it clickable.
That was hilarious!
DeleteWow, do all of you have friends that rotate the cost of your entire birthday party every year? Or do you usually pay your fair share when you go out to dinner?
ReplyDeleteI think this is a lot of useful info given in a wannabe cheeky manner that came across as overbearing. And have you tried planning a surprise party? It is a pain in the ass.
Well if it's cold in July the party is taking place in the Southern Hemisphere. For those confused by why they might get frostbite in July.
ReplyDeleteNot Britain, Oz or NZ where it's cold in July. Clue is the 'present suggestion' - budgies is short for budgie smugglers = skimpy men's underwear in Australia.
ReplyDeleteI don't get why people are raving about the cash - it's a shared meal in a restaurant. No indication that anyone is paying for the birthday boy, just the average cost of your own meal.
British. This is why they lost the empire.
ReplyDeleteThe letter writer isn't hosting the birthday party; she (or he) is organizing it which is completely different. Since no one is under the impression that their meal will be free, there is no problem. The guests have the option of declining to attend.
ReplyDeleteSounds like this person has a specific party in mind. Can't hate on her for that.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has the right to decline.
And who doesn't love a surprise party? And who hasn't been to one, where someone screws it all up?
And: "It’s best to make it clear when you extend the invitation that you both are acting more as “coordinators” than as hosts. It’s all in how you phrase it. For this type of get-together it’s best to call your friends and say something like, “Erin, would you and Tim like to meet us at Leunig’s on Saturday the 7th to celebrate Nancy’s 40th? We’re asking Tom, Michelle, Mike and Ginger to join us too. The plan is to split the tab and treat Nancy to her meal as well. Let me know if you can come and I’ll make the reservation!” By putting it this way, it’s clear that you are just organizing the party and not hosting, everyone will know what is expected and can choose to take part or not."
ReplyDeleteFrom: http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/04/restaurant-parties-can-i-ask-my-guests-to-pay-their-way/
It doesn't say the invite is from a celeb. I'm assuming this just a mere mortal with an overblown sense of importance as well as control issues.
ReplyDeleteUnless the cast of The Avengers are there; count me out.
ReplyDeleteThat Marney story is hilarious! Thanks for sharing it. Sounds like a mom of a big family who can get away with that sort of tone.
ReplyDeleteThis though, it sounds like this person snuck into the guys email account and sent it out to everyone on his friends list. Way too overbearing and obnoxious when he/she admits to not having yet met many of them in person.
went to wikipedia to see which male celebrities (still living) from south of the equaqtor were born on July 28th. came up with:
ReplyDeleteJacob Oram, NZ, Cricket
Paul Strang, Zimbabwe, Cricket
Manu Ginobili, Argentinia, basketball
Luiz Fernando Carvalho - Brazil, director
Glenn A. Baker - Australia, journalist
Alberto Fujimori, Peru, politician
for all we know, the birthday boy could just be visiting, or the organizer is the celebrity.
@ Karen - This is not the first e-mail the inviter sent to the invitees, so I would assume they already know that the inviter is "coordinating" the party.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't think this is rude at all. She/He is trying to coordinate a surprise party for a mutual friend. I wouldn't be be put off by this and if it the party were for a friend of mine, and I was free, I would attend and willingly pay my share (and bring my own).
Who is friends with this wordy asshole?
ReplyDeletePretty sure it's Australian. Football and Better Homes Abd Gardens are on here every Friday night.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is necessarily for a celeb bday, a reader sent it in so it's probably for someone unfamous.
ReplyDeleteIt's similar to a recent powerpt put up at Gawker, done by an overzealous vacation planner for a July 4th group trip to Ptown -58 pgs! someone needs to loosen up.
(can't make the link short sorry!)
http://gawker.com/heres-a-58-page-handbook-for-some-dudes-epic-july-4t-574277261
if your just on a diet then don’t come.
ReplyDeleteI thought the invite was funny, if wordy (as am I). Why wouldn't you buy your own dinner at a restaurant?
ReplyDeleteWhatever anyone's opinion on it, they obviously think their friend is an ass if they sent it in. So here's hoping your fat-ass (because they don't fucking diet! So stay home!) friend isn't a cdan reader.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like the person sending the email is a new girlfriend or a visiting sister who hasn't met the guy's friends. Can't hate on the cheeky tone, this one's got NOTHING on "9x12 pan, leave the leftovers" Marnie.
ReplyDeleteBTW, for those trying to guess which Aussie sports star this is - it isn't. It's a reader submission, nothing to do with celebs. The person who sent it is pissed because they're on a diet and can't afford days of the week underwear. :-b
I am a Thanksgiving nut, but the exact opposite of Marnie (although, maybe it's just as annoying). I refuse to let anyone do or bring anything. Partly, because I feel they are guests and should come over for a nice meal and not have to work, but it is probably more about making sure the menu is the way I want it. If I go to someone else's house, I don't think twice if I am asked to bring something. I just can't get myself to do it.
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ReplyDeleteIt's a little over the top...but so what. It's very detailed, unlike my company outting, which could have at least told us what hotel we were staying in.
ReplyDeleteAs for the outside/inside, frost bite in July...I'm assuming it's in South Africa or somewhere south of the equator?
It's from Australia.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of an obsessive list but it is just someone being enthusiastic
pay to go to a party? no. those days ended in college. if you can't afford to host a party; don't.
ReplyDeleteWinter in Australia is supposed to be about like winter in Florida. So NOBODY'S getting frostbite, regardless.
ReplyDeleteYep, def Aussie. Better Homes and Gardens is the giveaway.
ReplyDeleteI'd show up just to break every rule. What they don't take checks. How about some 2 Buck Chuck?
ReplyDeleteThis must be taking place in the Southern Hemisphere for it to be cold in the summer.
ReplyDeleteDeffo Australia. BHAG airs 7pm Fridays on Seven - AFL airs from 7.30pm on Seven, NRL 7.30pm on Nine.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking Liz Hurley/Shane Warne but I believe his bday is in September.
@ Cee Kay
ReplyDeleteWinter in Australia isn't like winter in Florida. Winter in Brisbane maybe, but that's about 1000kms north of here. It's quite a large country.
I only have half a problem with this email. I have never organized a surprise party, but I've watched other people do it and it's exhausting, especially if you don't know all of the invitees yourself.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the level of detail, but I'm a little bit concerned with the language. When you are dealing with people you don't know, use polite business type language and be overly sensitive. There is a way to properly say 'yes, I'm coordinating but I am not hosting so I hope you will understand that invitees will be paying their share'.
Also, this doesn't sound like the first email, so perhaps the host/hostess is just getting a little impatient at this point.
Should be very easy for the host to split the bill two ways at the end of the night when nobody shows up.
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ReplyDeleteI thought this was a gay man writing this, not a woman.
ReplyDeletePerhaps all of the insults are meant to be witty, but personally I find them to be in poor taste. Especially, if the writer doesn't even know some of the recipients.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I just don't get Australian (give or take) humor. Or maybe the writer is simply a pompous bitch.
:)
I wouldn't go to this party, and I would promptly cease being friends with this person. What a fucking presumptuous bitch. I feel sorry for the guest of honor who apparently has to live with this piece of work.
ReplyDeleteWhy am I going to a surprise party I'm paying fr?
ReplyDeleteYou invite me, and I'll bring my own gift.
Wait, they have to pay $60-$70 per person themselves or is the hostess paying that? Ain't nobody's b-day worth that much to me, plus a gift. Ludicrous.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that Mexican restaurants are so expensive there.
ReplyDeleteIt's apparently nowhere-near-LA day here on CDAN today. First pounds and fashion, now footy and budgies.
ReplyDeleteCarey Hart, Pink is performing is Australia at the moment. His birthday is 17 July :)
ReplyDeleteThe invitation really isn't that offensive. It's more mocking material, something to laugh over.
ReplyDelete"Hey Derp, did you see that letter Herpina sent?"
"Yeah! Herpina takes life way too seriously! I wonder if she makes lists of her lists."
Australia is a large area of land so while there are some very tropical areas most of the capital cities experience cold winters just not what Europeans experience. I was up in Brisbane yesterday and it was pouring with rain and reached about 16 degrees. Sydney has been about 13 degrees and raining until this week. (Temps all are Celsius)
ReplyDeleteI hope this isn't snarky but just want to show that we do experience the cold but not to the extremes that you guys do.
I thought this was a wedding invitation at first, and thought this dude will not want to surprise marry you, bitch.
ReplyDeletetoo stoned.
I'm just not feeling the hate! Amusing yes, a tad heavy on the snark for people she doesn't know, but really the indignant comments seem ott, imo. Who hasn't gone to a friend's birthday dinner at a restaurant where you pay your way? Sharing dinner for a friend - it's not one of those tacky weddings you hear about. Those were the comments that threw me the most.
ReplyDelete