Sugar, you are my favourite betch on here! Marieeee and I are cool now, she's not a betch yet but we'll see. Glad you liked TITE. And yes, I absolutely snogged Franco but that was it :) about to go get my drink on expect hilarity later!
I think I counted recently, and it was thirteen. I buy shoes like a guy: black ones, brown ones, and athletic ones. I DID buy two pairs of silver ones today, though, to wear at my brother's wedding and reception. So that makes fifteen.
I'm a stereotype. Once upon a time, I got the nickname "Imelda" because I literally had a closet in my apartment filled to overflowing with shoes. I'm down to about 40 pair now. 45 if we're counting boots too. 55 if you add in sneakers.
A lawyer is driving down the street with his arm out the window. Another car swerves too close and sideswipes him, causing severe damage to his car, and dismembering his arm. The lawyer pulls over to the side and jumps out of his car, immediately lamenting the damage to the other driver. "My car! It was a brand new Porsche! How are you going to make this up to me?! You better have insurance." The other driver looks disgusted and says "You lawyers are all the same. You care so much about money you didn't even notice your arm is gone!" The lawyer looks down at his arm and exclaims "Oh my god...my Rolex!"
A lawyer, a doctor, and a janitor die in a car accident and find themselves at the pearly gates. St. Peter explains "We have limited space, so we've been deciding admission based on a trivia contest." St. Peter then turns to the janitor and asks "What was the name of the famous ship that hit an iceberg and sank, killing all those people?" The janitor replies "The Titanic!" "Very good", says St. Peter, "you may enter." St. Peter then turns to the doctor and asks "How many people died on that ship?" The doctor replies "about three thousand?" "Close enough," says St. Peter, "you may enter." St. Peter then turns to the lawyer and says "Name 'em."
We just packed because we move tomorrow and I have a full LARGE suitcase of shoes - stuffed full, PLUS all my athletic shoes (turf shoes, cleats, etcs) are in my sports bag, plus I put shoes in my husband's shoe bag, plus I keep finding MORE of my shoes around the house! I think the answer might actually be that I have infinite shoes. They multiply and appear out of nowhere.
"Law school taught me one thing: how to take two situations that are exactly the same and show how they are different."--Hart Pomerantz "I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do: I hire him to tell me how to do what i want to do."--J.P. Morgan "They say talk is cheap--until you get a lawyer involved."--Patrick Reagan "Lawyers are in the only profession where the more there are, the more are needed."--Robert Lucky "My daddy is a movie actor and sometimes he plays the good guy and sometimes he plays the lawyer."--Harrison Ford's son (kids say the darndest things!) "A lawyer is someone who approaches every subject with an open mouth."--Patrick Reagan "If it weren't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them."--Patrick Reagan "When you go to court, you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."--Norm Crosby "What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? Accountants know they're boring."--Patrick Reagan "Nothing could be more boring than an absolutely accurate movie about the law."--Roger Ebert "Two very rich people get divorced, and their lawyers lived happily ever after."--Patrick Reagan A lawyer charged a man for legal services. After the client left, the lawyer realized he had been overpaid by $100. "This is a real ethical dilemma," the lawyer said to himself. "Should I tell my partner?"
At one time, when I was a bit more shallow and thought everyone was looking at me (product of my mom's obsessive comments 'do you want to look like that') I owned dozens of pairs of shoes and closets of clothes.
Now that good with myself and made the choice to live simply so I can travel, I own one pair of boots, one pair of sandals, a pair of pumps, a pair of wedges, chacos and house slippers. Each one good quality so I can keep them for several years. So six.
There are about 3-5 pairs at any given time that I wear on the regular. Couple heels, couple flats/flops and a more practical "walking shoe" I guess you could call it. That leaves about 20 pairs chilling out for the season.
I also have a few pairs that just got put away with my maternity clothes b/c they only fit me when my feet were swollen up like footballs. If I'm real lucky, I'll get to wear them again in the next couple years!
Lindsay and Vikram….shitting in a tree. R-I-M-M-I-N-G First comes blow, den comes boozes, den comes Lindsay wit a torso fulla bruises.
Whaaaat??? She gets paid to be a punchin bag. Some hewers are inta dat and don’t gotta be paid. I had dis one hewer could take a left hook betta den Earnie Shavers. Get da fuck outta here.
Selena, Selena, quite contrary, shave dat pussy it’s SO…. DAM….HAIRY. What, I seen the picturez. She was crouched on da beach and it looked like she was wearing an angora sweata unda her panties. Dafuqizat? Listen honey, I gotta go to da dentist fer a haircut, I’m takin it outta yer tip.
Haha! It's a bit much, but I love shoes! The good thing is if you are friends with me 1) you have unlimited borrowing privileges and 2) once a year I have a shoe/clothes trading party/giveaway. Whatever goes unclaimed is donated to a local DV shelter.
Do you know what is sad about an Escalade going over a cliff with 2 Kardashians in it? And Escalade could seat 7 Kardashians.
My apologies to any Escalades who may have taken that last joke as an insult. You are wonderful vehicles, but your miles per gallon makes you unfeasible to the average consumer.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe that this is the question!! LOL. Yes, I really do only own 8 pairs of shoes. Obviously the ones that I wear to premieres and such are not ones that I own. They're just borrowed for the event!
I've been away for a while, my poor city is devastated with all the flooding :(....so can I ask....What the fuck is going on around here?! Geezus I'm confused, with all the trollies coming & going it's time consuming here now. One *just* gets used to knowing who's comments to skip over, then you have to start that list all over again. It's like switching grocery stores: aggravating as hell.
I used to have a shoe addiction, now it's plants & gardening. So about 10 pairs of shoes & truck loads of plants, just this season. They are also really hard to hide from hubby so I just say "everything was half price, Isn't that great?!!"
Four pairs of shoes (2 pairs of tennis shoes, 1 pair of dress shoes and 1 pair of deck shoes for when I have to go outside in the middle of the night) and 3 pairs of boots (1 pair of regular combat boots, 1 pair of Jungle combat boots and my old pair of wrestling boots from when I did some indy stuff.
I have about 120 or 130, last I checked. That includes flippy floppies and flat sandals and sneakers etc etc. And @joymama - I'm a happily married gal and perfectly okay with myself...I just care about how I look and what I wear as well! They're not mutually exclusive. :)
I have about 120 or 130, last I checked. That includes flippy floppies and flat sandals and sneakers etc etc. And @joymama - I'm a happily married gal and perfectly okay with myself...I just care about how I look and what I wear as well! They're not mutually exclusive. :)
This is actually an interesting topic! But not half as interesting as all of these judgments/misconceptions. There are a million factors that contribute to the number of shoes a person owns:
Gender. Unless he’s a supermodel, guys have less shoes than us. Yes, that’s a blanket statement!
Location: Do you live in an area where the seasons change dramatically? If so, then you’ll need more shoes.
Occupation: Self employed? High profile office job? Work from home? Service job? Healthcare? Teacher on his feet all day, etc.
Commute: If your trip consists of going from your living room to your car in the garage, to the parking lot at the office park and back home again, then your shoe needs are different from the girl that walks to/from the bus stop or train station on a daily basis.
Extra Curricular Activities: Are you a runner? Do you go to the gym? Play tennis? Ride bikes? Go hiking? You get my drift.
All of that being said…I have 90 – 100 pairs of shoes! Bwhahahaha! And I’m the LAST THING from a vapid Carrie Bradshaw wanna-be that’s trapped in the 90’s. My shoes are all moderate or sale priced and they get worn down/thrown out/replaced on the regular, so 90 to 100 seems accurate. I also have hard-to-fit feet, so if I find something that works, I usually buy 2 or I get and 2nd pair in another color. But, I’m including ALL SHOES in this count: Formal shoes (that go with that 1 friggin’ outfit for that wedding/event), dress shoes, work shoes, sandals, sneax, boots (high-heeled boots, riding boots, snow boots, rain boots), flip-flops, etc.
Yup, I think Emma isn’t counting all of the sh*t she gets on loan from stylists/designers or her freebies. Maybe she really only owns 8 pairs?
Guys have no reason to buy shoes in different heel sizes. My husband just bought new shoes. He's so excited. They're brown. To me they're boring. All guy shoes are boring. Which is why I actually liked the blue shoes Scott Disick was pappedbin this week. They were cool. Don't judge me. :)
32. Three are sneakers and two of those are backup sneakers I should toss/give away. Three are boots. About five are flip flops I never wear. Four are 6-inch heels I rarely wear but keep because 1) I occasionally do wear them and 2) I'm over 50 and feel good that at my age I still CAN wear them.
I think my number is about 200 or so not including thong sandals and flip flops...I'm not super tall so clothes don't always fit right, but a good looking, sexy shoe, now that's a different story....
As for the trolls is it wrong they make me laugh as they come in droves trying to mess with CDAN. I think they will get bored before we get annoyed...??
6. But, that's kind of because every time I'm going to buy a pair one of my kids need shoes. So, they get the new pair and I wear what I have. I can't even remember the last time I looked at shoes for me. Doesn't matter I don't think. I wear scrubs for work and I don't date. So what difference do my shoes make.
You know what? I don't know how many shoes I have. A bunch. And they are so pretty. But you should have asked me how many pairs I really wear. Two or three tops. I have arthritis now, no cartilage in the knees and major spurs, arthritis in my feet. Can't wear heels at all, have cranky feet, have to wear very comfortable flats. Haven't gotten around to getting rid of my darling shoes. I will be moving soon.........and then I guess it will be the moment of truth. I really do want to make a clean sweep and size down. I may take them to the next town where they accept clothes at a women's shelter. So they could do someone some good. But to answer your question, I don't know. (Poor darling shoes)
Wow, and I thought *I* was a minimalist. Some of you have me SO beat with only 4 or 6 pairs! I love it.
(No judgment towards the Imelda-type folks, of course! I mean, you'd damn near trip in my house, what with all the books everywhere. We all have our vices! Hee hee.)
way more than emma
ReplyDeleteshoes are my porn
Oh, that betch Emma Watson is a dang liar! LIAR!
ReplyDelete(That was for you, Marieeeeee!)
Though she was great in This is The End. Such a funny movie. Made me even like James Franco a bit.
THANKS! Hopefully I won't be needed as entertainment with all these trolls. Haha.
DeleteSugar, you are my favourite betch on here! Marieeee and I are cool now, she's not a betch yet but we'll see. Glad you liked TITE. And yes, I absolutely snogged Franco but that was it :) about to go get my drink on expect hilarity later!
Delete*rolleyes*
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think I counted recently, and it was thirteen. I buy shoes like a guy: black ones, brown ones, and athletic ones. I DID buy two pairs of silver ones today, though, to wear at my brother's wedding and reception. So that makes fifteen.
ReplyDeleteI'm a stereotype.
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, I got the nickname "Imelda" because I literally had a closet in my apartment filled to overflowing with shoes.
I'm down to about 40 pair now.
45 if we're counting boots too.
55 if you add in sneakers.
How many I own is very different from how many I actually wear.
ReplyDeletePreach! So true. God it's so true.
DeleteWhat do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
ReplyDeleteOne hundred people who don't do dick.
50 bajillion spread in closest over two states..just like toothys sexuality. Ha!
ReplyDeleteF me...CLOSETS! LOL....BWAAAHAHAHA
DeleteThat shiz was funny and no one laughed..whawhaaa...oh well
Delete@canopener, that made me LOL. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd say about 20-25 and that includes my running shoes, flip flops, sandals, boots, heels and everyday shoes.
ReplyDeleteQ: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
ReplyDeleteA: A Doberman pinscher.
What do you call a car full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
DeleteA good start.
And I'm sure that Emma really does only own eight pairs of shoes... but that doesn't count all the pairs that she borrows for events.
ReplyDeleteProbably around 20, a lot less than I used to have.
ReplyDeleteA lawyer is driving down the street with his arm out the window. Another car swerves too close and sideswipes him, causing severe damage to his car, and dismembering his arm. The lawyer pulls over to the side and jumps out of his car, immediately lamenting the damage to the other driver. "My car! It was a brand new Porsche! How are you going to make this up to me?! You better have insurance." The other driver looks disgusted and says "You lawyers are all the same. You care so much about money you didn't even notice your arm is gone!" The lawyer looks down at his arm and exclaims "Oh my god...my Rolex!"
ReplyDeleteI think Emma should come here and speak for herself. Drunk, of course.
ReplyDeleteA lawyer, a doctor, and a janitor die in a car accident and find themselves at the pearly gates. St. Peter explains "We have limited space, so we've been deciding admission based on a trivia contest." St. Peter then turns to the janitor and asks "What was the name of the famous ship that hit an iceberg and sank, killing all those people?" The janitor replies "The Titanic!" "Very good", says St. Peter, "you may enter." St. Peter then turns to the doctor and asks "How many people died on that ship?" The doctor replies "about three thousand?" "Close enough," says St. Peter, "you may enter." St. Peter then turns to the lawyer and says "Name 'em."
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't count the sneakers, the flip-flops, the slippers, the clogs, or the slip-ons, I own pair to match each of my class rings.
ReplyDelete*one pair, that is
ReplyDeleteAn uncountable number.
ReplyDeleteWe just packed because we move tomorrow and I have a full LARGE suitcase of shoes - stuffed full, PLUS all my athletic shoes (turf shoes, cleats, etcs) are in my sports bag, plus I put shoes in my husband's shoe bag, plus I keep finding MORE of my shoes around the house! I think the answer might actually be that I have infinite shoes. They multiply and appear out of nowhere.
"Law school taught me one thing: how to take two situations that are exactly the same and show how they are different."--Hart Pomerantz
ReplyDelete"I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do: I hire him to tell me how to do what i want to do."--J.P. Morgan
"They say talk is cheap--until you get a lawyer involved."--Patrick Reagan
"Lawyers are in the only profession where the more there are, the more are needed."--Robert Lucky
"My daddy is a movie actor and sometimes he plays the good guy and sometimes he plays the lawyer."--Harrison Ford's son (kids say the darndest things!)
"A lawyer is someone who approaches every subject with an open mouth."--Patrick Reagan
"If it weren't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them."--Patrick Reagan
"When you go to court, you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."--Norm Crosby
"What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? Accountants know they're boring."--Patrick Reagan
"Nothing could be more boring than an absolutely accurate movie about the law."--Roger Ebert
"Two very rich people get divorced, and their lawyers lived happily ever after."--Patrick Reagan
A lawyer charged a man for legal services. After the client left, the lawyer realized he had been overpaid by $100. "This is a real ethical dilemma," the lawyer said to himself. "Should I tell my partner?"
I fucking hate Crocs.
ReplyDeleteAt one time, when I was a bit more shallow and thought everyone was looking at me (product of my mom's obsessive comments 'do you want to look like that') I owned dozens of pairs of shoes and closets of clothes.
ReplyDeleteNow that good with myself and made the choice to live simply so I can travel, I own one pair of boots, one pair of sandals, a pair of pumps, a pair of wedges, chacos and house slippers. Each one good quality so I can keep them for several years. So six.
I have a little over 50 pair
ReplyDeleteLast I counted, I was around 312...I might have a problem. Of these, I probably rotate through 50 on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteThere are about 3-5 pairs at any given time that I wear on the regular. Couple heels, couple flats/flops and a more practical "walking shoe" I guess you could call it. That leaves about 20 pairs chilling out for the season.
ReplyDeleteI also have a few pairs that just got put away with my maternity clothes b/c they only fit me when my feet were swollen up like footballs. If I'm real lucky, I'll get to wear them again in the next couple years!
I have Six in regular rotation. That's not counting flip flops or boots, then I'm at 12
ReplyDeleteFour.
ReplyDeleteUnless we're counting my daughter's.
I plead the fifth on how many pairs Grace has.
DeleteI'd say about thirty, especially since I just ordered two more pairs today...
ReplyDeleteWhen Emma was drunk yesterday, she broke a heel off here fave pair! Now it's only 7!
ReplyDeleteLindsay and Vikram….shitting in a tree. R-I-M-M-I-N-G
ReplyDeleteFirst comes blow, den comes boozes, den comes Lindsay wit a torso fulla bruises.
Whaaaat??? She gets paid to be a punchin bag. Some hewers are inta dat and don’t gotta be paid. I had dis one hewer could take a left hook betta den Earnie Shavers. Get da fuck outta here.
Selena, Selena, quite contrary, shave dat pussy it’s SO…. DAM….HAIRY.
ReplyDeleteWhat, I seen the picturez. She was crouched on da beach and it looked like she was wearing an angora sweata unda her panties. Dafuqizat? Listen honey, I gotta go to da dentist fer a haircut, I’m takin it outta yer tip.
Whats the difference between a Kardashian and a Toilet?
ReplyDeleteThe toilet doesn’t want to cuddle after you shoot your cum in to it.
I apologize to any toilets in the audience who may have been offended by my last joke. Please don’t call AFLAC and threaten to cancel your policies.
That's a personal question
ReplyDeleteLast time I counted, was about 150 but have added to it since.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI know I shouldn't but Rodney Dice and Canopener are making me laugh.
ReplyDeleteHonestly it's more interesting than this question..Although V wins the Imeda Marcos award for the day. Dayum woman! I'm jealous.
Haha! It's a bit much, but I love shoes! The good thing is if you are friends with me 1) you have unlimited borrowing privileges and 2) once a year I have a shoe/clothes trading party/giveaway. Whatever goes unclaimed is donated to a local DV shelter.
DeleteDo you know what is sad about an Escalade going over a cliff with 2 Kardashians in it?
ReplyDeleteAnd Escalade could seat 7 Kardashians.
My apologies to any Escalades who may have taken that last joke as an insult. You are wonderful vehicles, but your miles per gallon makes you unfeasible to the average consumer.
I like that one trolly trollerson, but you still suck.
ReplyDeleteI have maybe seven pairs of shoes.
I'm in the same boat as Merlin. I had around 60, I think I may have cut it in half now.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I can't believe that this is the question!! LOL. Yes, I really do only own 8 pairs of shoes. Obviously the ones that I wear to premieres and such are not ones that I own. They're just borrowed for the event!
ReplyDeleteare you kidding...oh Emma I don't believe you
ReplyDeleteare you kidding...oh Emma I don't believe you
ReplyDeleteI've been away for a while, my poor city is devastated with all the flooding :(....so can I ask....What the fuck is going on around here?! Geezus I'm confused, with all the trollies coming & going it's time consuming here now. One *just* gets used to knowing who's comments to skip over, then you have to start that list all over again. It's like switching grocery stores: aggravating as hell.
ReplyDeleteI used to have a shoe addiction, now it's plants & gardening. So about 10 pairs of shoes & truck loads of plants, just this season. They are also really hard to hide from hubby so I just say "everything was half price, Isn't that great?!!"
ReplyDeleteHe's onto me :/
I am the rare female who doesnt get the shoe love thing. But i still hv more than 8, but they are sandals and sneakers.
ReplyDeleteat last count, 85 not including boots and thong type sandals.
ReplyDeleteFour. (Two pairs of walking shoes, one pair of hiking boots, and one pair of dress shoes.)
ReplyDeleteI do have three pairs of slippers I wear around the house as well.
I am not a fashionista. :)
Four. Two walking and two for work (clean and stuff). I'm a macho, and I think they are too many.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess I might have a shopping problem. (150 plus) Don't judge!!
ReplyDeleteabout 100, I know, I know. Must get help!!!Damn you Ebay
ReplyDeleteFour pairs of shoes (2 pairs of tennis shoes, 1 pair of dress shoes and 1 pair of deck shoes for when I have to go outside in the middle of the night) and 3 pairs of boots (1 pair of regular combat boots, 1 pair of Jungle combat boots and my old pair of wrestling boots from when I did some indy stuff.
ReplyDeleteugh, please don't make me not like Emma... 8 pairs of shoes? Louboutin, please.
ReplyDeleteI have about 120 or 130, last I checked. That includes flippy floppies and flat sandals and sneakers etc etc. And @joymama - I'm a happily married gal and perfectly okay with myself...I just care about how I look and what I wear as well! They're not mutually exclusive. :)
ReplyDeleteI have about 120 or 130, last I checked. That includes flippy floppies and flat sandals and sneakers etc etc. And @joymama - I'm a happily married gal and perfectly okay with myself...I just care about how I look and what I wear as well! They're not mutually exclusive. :)
ReplyDeleteTwo good pairs and two ratty should go in the trash pairs. So 4??
ReplyDeleteI have never known why anyone would need more than 7.
This is actually an interesting topic! But not half as interesting as all of these judgments/misconceptions. There are a million factors that contribute to the number of shoes a person owns:
ReplyDeleteGender. Unless he’s a supermodel, guys have less shoes than us. Yes, that’s a blanket statement!
Location: Do you live in an area where the seasons change dramatically? If so, then you’ll need more shoes.
Occupation: Self employed? High profile office job? Work from home? Service job? Healthcare? Teacher on his feet all day, etc.
Commute: If your trip consists of going from your living room to your car in the garage, to the parking lot at the office park and back home again, then your shoe needs are different from the girl that walks to/from the bus stop or train station on a daily basis.
Extra Curricular Activities: Are you a runner? Do you go to the gym? Play tennis? Ride bikes? Go hiking? You get my drift.
All of that being said…I have 90 – 100 pairs of shoes! Bwhahahaha! And I’m the LAST THING from a vapid Carrie Bradshaw wanna-be that’s trapped in the 90’s. My shoes are all moderate or sale priced and they get worn down/thrown out/replaced on the regular, so 90 to 100 seems accurate. I also have hard-to-fit feet, so if I find something that works, I usually buy 2 or I get and 2nd pair in another color. But, I’m including ALL SHOES in this count: Formal shoes (that go with that 1 friggin’ outfit for that wedding/event), dress shoes, work shoes, sandals, sneax, boots (high-heeled boots, riding boots, snow boots, rain boots), flip-flops, etc.
Yup, I think Emma isn’t counting all of the sh*t she gets on loan from stylists/designers or her freebies. Maybe she really only owns 8 pairs?
Guys have no reason to buy shoes in different heel sizes. My husband just bought new shoes. He's so excited. They're brown. To me they're boring. All guy shoes are boring. Which is why I actually liked the blue shoes Scott Disick was pappedbin this week. They were cool. Don't judge me. :)
DeletePapped in...
Delete32. Three are sneakers and two of those are backup sneakers I should toss/give away. Three are boots. About five are flip flops I never wear. Four are 6-inch heels I rarely wear but keep because 1) I occasionally do wear them and 2) I'm over 50 and feel good that at my age I still CAN wear them.
ReplyDeleteI love all the different commentaries on shoes!
ReplyDeleteI think my number is about 200 or so not including thong sandals and flip flops...I'm not super tall so clothes don't always fit right, but a good looking, sexy shoe, now that's a different story....
As for the trolls is it wrong they make me laugh as they come in droves trying to mess with CDAN. I think they will get bored before we get annoyed...??
6. But, that's kind of because every time I'm going to buy a pair one of my kids need shoes. So, they get the new pair and I wear what I have. I can't even remember the last time I looked at shoes for me. Doesn't matter I don't think. I wear scrubs for work and I don't date. So what difference do my shoes make.
ReplyDelete256 ish
ReplyDeleteYou know what? I don't know how many shoes I have. A bunch. And they are so pretty. But you should have asked me how many pairs I really wear. Two or three tops. I have arthritis now, no cartilage in the knees and major spurs, arthritis in my feet. Can't wear heels at all, have cranky feet, have to wear very comfortable flats. Haven't gotten around to getting rid of my darling shoes. I will be moving soon.........and then I guess it will be the moment of truth. I really do want to make a clean sweep and size down. I may take them to the next town where they accept clothes at a women's shelter. So they could do someone some good. But to answer your question, I don't know. (Poor darling shoes)
ReplyDeleteWow, and I thought *I* was a minimalist. Some of you have me SO beat with only 4 or 6 pairs! I love it.
ReplyDelete(No judgment towards the Imelda-type folks, of course! I mean, you'd damn near trip in my house, what with all the books everywhere. We all have our vices! Hee hee.)
And V, you are good people. Mwah!